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May 2014 Moms
IBackBevo
member
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Working Moms: What are your plans for child care after LO arrives?
IBackBevo
member
I'm particularly interested to hear what the plans are for 2+ Moms who will have to have childcare for 2 or more kids.
DS had a nanny, but after we went through three of them in a year, we put him in daycare. One nanny we fired for smoking on the job (lied about being a smoker in interview), one (who we loved!) moved because her husband was transferred to India and the other one quit on us with pretty much no notice. We will keep DS in daycare until this LO arrives, but after that I think we may look back into another nanny or an au pair because the costs are about the same for two kids in daycare versus a nanny. The cost for a nanny may be a little more, but I figure the stress saved by not having to get two kids out-the-door every morning plus the fact that usually they can at least help with a little bit of housework (at least children's laundry, bottles, etc.) will make it worth it.
What are your plans?
IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Working Moms: What are your plans for child care after LO arrives?
Started TTC 05.08
Me: Stage II endo, borderline high FSH
DH: perfect
1 lap, 5 IUIs = 4 BFNs and 1 c/p
2 IVFs, 2 FETs = 1 BFN, 1 c/p, 1 ectopic and finally a sticky BFP in May 2011!
1 FET in Aug 2013 = BFP!
@ykristos - In general, childcare has been the number 1 most stressful thing to me about being a working Mom. I never dreamt finding good, reliable childcare was so difficult. With daycare, we fight DS being sick all of the time...and every time he is sick it is an ordeal finding alternative care. And with the nannies, we kept losing them. And every time we lost one, we not only had to find alternative short-term care (in 2 instances, literally at the last minute), but it was a major ordeal to search for and interview new nannies each time.
Edit: typo
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
My aunt injured herself somehow and about 3 months ago had surgery on one knee and just last week had surgery on the other. So he has been with the sitter 3, sometimes 4 (when my mom is unavailable) days for a while now. He loves it there.
I plan to tell her today that I am expecting and I would like for her to watch both of my children. She has a 13 mo old and watches 3 other children, who range from fulltime, part time and sporadic care. I am hoping she agrees and it is not too much for her.
The problem is that, when we hired her, since it was a part time basis, we agreed to an hourly rate. But now that he is there on more of a FT basis, it is getting expensive and I certainly can't double it with 2 children.. I would hardly be working for anything after I figure childcare and gas expenses. So I am hoping to also renegotiate her rate to a daily rate and keep it at $300 for 3 days for 2 kids.
Also, while I do love her and my son does so well there.. I wish she was more of an educational daycare provider, like I know so many home daycares are. I am hoping she will get there though as this is still new(er) to her and my son is her oldest.
If she cannot watch both children, our hunt will begin again because I want to be able to keep them together. It is very difficult for us too because there is like no one who will take him at 530 am, when I need to drop him off.
I wish I could afford a nanny, or my mother lived closer so that it wasn't so much of a challenge getting him there/back from her house when he is there. But it is what it is and I hope it all works out.
BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d
BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11
BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d
BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13
BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14
I have done both and both have pros and cons...
For me, for a single child it was about twice as much to have a nanny for DS for 3 days a week (10 hours a day) as it is to put him in daycare for 5 days a week (up to 12 hours a day). So, clearly, a nanny is a lot more money if you are talking about only one child.
With that said, my DH and I both have careers where we often can't just take off work with no notice (if ds gets sick or something) so a nanny was the clear way to go. DH is a physician. Him taking off work means cancelling 20-30 patients...many of whom have waited months to get in to see him. If you do that too many times, you won't have a medical practice anymore. (Not to mention the substantial amount of money lost since he still has to pay all of his overhead including staff salaries but has no money coming in.) For me, I am a litigation attorney and frequently have court hearings, depositions, etc. Sometimes, a deposition will be scheduled months in advance and require the coordination of the schedules of 10+ other lawyers, parties, witnesses, etc. I have one case where there are about 20 parties in attendance at every deposition. And because I work at a small firm, there frequently is not someone else to cover my depos. So I can't just cancel one because DS is sick. We have no family in the area. So a nanny made sense...until we realize how difficult it was to get and keep one. The hiring process (if you do it right), takes a substantial amount of time. So when we were having to look for a new nanny every 3-4 months, it was just becoming too much! Hence, how we ended up putting DS in daycare. We have encountered a scenario where I could not take off and DS was sick...fortunately, my in-laws on super short notice were able to drive in to town from 2+ hours away. I don't know what we would have done otherwise...
The advantages to having a nanny are also that they can help around the house, your child gets more one-on-one attention, you don't have to drop off and pick up (which takes quite a bit of time every day), you don't have to mess with getting things to daycare (meals, bottles, wipes, etc.). For me, the convenience of having a nanny is huge.
The main disadvantage (other than cost) of the nanny is dealing with employee/employer issues and personality issues. I never really had a problem with timeliness of any of my nannies, but I did have some other problems. Both our first and third nannies were older and frequently thought they knew better than I did on childrearing issues...i.e. first nanny would leave DS sleeping on his belly unattended even when he was very young (a SIDS risk); third nanny was always completely disregarding my express instructions regarding what she fed DS; etc. We also had major issues with the third nanny with respect to PTO and the reason I think she ultimately quit (with no notice). We also had issues with the third nanny with respect to attitude, too. At times, she would have a bad one. I never had a single issue with our second nanny, though. She was an absolute dream. But I think she is the exception. Honestly, I know a handful of people who hire a nanny and that nanny will stay with them for years and become a part of the family (what we wanted!), but more often than not it seems like most people I know fight the same problems that I have fought where they just end up going through nanny after nanny.
DH and I have also thought about looking into a live-in or an au pair. They are actually quite a bit less than a full-time, live-out nanny because you provide them with a place to live and this is considered part of their pay. We have plenty of room so space is not an issue. The downside is that you have someone living in your house...they never go home because your home is their home. DH and I are not sure how we feel about that. Especially because we had some "attitude" issues with our third nanny and I really would not have liked it if she was living with us when things started going south in the relationship.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Married 11/24/07
Camille Rae 8/21/10
Thea Grace's EDD 5/22/14
My biggest conundrum is figuring out where to place LO-- near my work or our home? My husband and I both commute 30 miles. I have concerns about being so far away from baby all day but everybody says daycare near the home is easier, plus if I choose daycare near my work it will be around $300-400 extra and I assume sole responsibility for every single pickup and drop off. If we do near home, my husband will be able to do a lot of pickups since he usually gets home around 4pm. But I will be so far away if something happens! Anybody have any thoughts on this?
@yvanehtnioj - I would pick near home. Less time in the car for your LO--which can be a big deal if your LO does not handle being in the car seat well. Also, just less time on the road, IMO, is safer. Also, I think most daycares understand that it may take you 30 minutes to an hour to get there if something happens. I am sure if you talk to them ahead of time about this problem, they will work with you. Plus, $300-400 extra month is a good chunk of change. And I think being able to split daycare drop off/pick up is a big deal, too.
The only way I would pick near your work is if you know that either you or DH will regularly have a hard time picking him up by the time of closing time and you need that extra half hour to an hour...
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
I prefer the security of knowing that multiple caregivers are watching my kids and each other.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
1st BFP-8/17/12! Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US. D&C.
2nd BFP-2/13/13! Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage.
3rd BFP-5/22/13! By early June, progesterone plummeting. Another loss.
August 2013 - started Donor Egg process, but surprise BFP with my own eggs.
Dear Son born 5/28/14
1st BFP-8/17/12! Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US. D&C.
2nd BFP-2/13/13! Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage.
3rd BFP-5/22/13! By early June, progesterone plummeting. Another loss.
August 2013 - started Donor Egg process, but surprise BFP with my own eggs.
Dear Son born 5/28/14
LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches
I will say it is hard to find a good nanny I interviewed around 20 and did trial runs with 4 before I found a keeper.
We could send her to our home school's ECC center, but the school has bad reviews. We are also toying with new LO going to an in home person, but I don't trust the lack of oversight.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
This is where we are at. We will have 2U2, also. We have looked into it and it is so much cheaper than a nanny. (At least what we would likely be paying a nanny for 2U2.) I'm pretty sure it would even be cheaper than having two in full-time daycare...at least it would be comparable in price anyway.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge: