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August 2012 Moms
alrighthamilton
member
How you grew up vs. how your child will grow up
alrighthamilton
member
Yesterday we went to my childhood friend's parent's house for a fall party and hayrides. My friend grew up a mile away from us, and we lived in the county. Like "the" country, among the farms in rural SW Michigan. My graduating class was barely 70 kids. Being at her parent's farm house, riding through all of our old familiar county roads on the tractor pulled wagon, reminded me of how different Kate's upbringing will be from my own. I grew up with 85 acres of woods, dirt biking, horse riding, target shooting, going to tiny, old rural cemeteries to find the supposed "glowing" grave stone as entertainment on weekends. We now live in the suburbs, five minutes away from the downtown area of our city. Kate will go to public schools where there will be hundreds of kids in her class. There are pros and cons of each way of upbringing, but it was a reminder of how vastly different hers will be from mine. Just curious if your child will have a similar upbringing as you, or different, and your thoughts on it.
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Re: How you grew up vs. how your child will grow up
I went to a Catholic school where there were 25 people in my graduating class in eighth grade. When I went into high school, people were talking about smoking and having sex, and my head exploded. I wasn't ready for the "real world." I don't want DD going through that. She'll be at a public school with many, many students.
I grew up on an acre of land with plenty of play room, but now houses don't have a ton of land unless you're in the country. We have a good-sized backyard and I'm happy about that. I want her to play outside a LOT because that's what we did. We'd build forts, play Ghost in the Graveyard, get into trouble in local mud fields by getting stuck in them...we were tomboys. I hope she has fun like that.
My husband and I had pretty idyllic childhoods - small midwestern town, parents involved with church and community activities, etc. We want to pretty much mimic that with Charlotte!
My parents were teenagers when they had me, so we were pretty poor growing up, always lived in small apartments. My mother never drove, so we were a one car family. We walked EVERYWHERE, all year long. They usually worked pretty long hours, and we would be at my Grandmother's after school until they picked us up. I am the oldest of 14 cousins on that side, so I was always surrounded by tons of kids.
DH and I are pretty comfortable financialy, live in a big house with a pool, 2 cars. I went to a small ctholic school with all my cousins, Luciano will go to public. I work in a school, so I will be around when he gets out. I stress some about him not knowing what it is like to struggle....I go back and forth between not wanting him to go without and scared that he will become an entitled brat. DH and I worked really hard to get where we are, but he never knew us when we were sharing a car and living in an apartment.
The type of town where we live now is very similar to where I grew up - a suburb about 30 minutes outside of a "downtown" area.
But we are now in San Diego vs. where I grew up, in Maryland, and that's very different. It's funny to think that's DD will never see snow unless we're on vacation. Also, surf camps are a normal part of summer break.
The area we're in now is also much more affluent (like, even inflation-adjusted, the houses probably cost double what they did where I grew up), so we worry about keeping DD grounded. We intentionally moved to the suburb we're in now vs. the one we lived in a few years ago, because that one was a little too "new money" for us. We didn't like how all the teenagers drove luxury cars there.
Us, too. DD has only been to 8 - but then again, states are much more spread out in the West
I think #1 will probably be that DS won't move as much. Unless I get moved to the Atlanta area for work at some point, but that's it. Also, I have a brother, but right now we're (okay I'm) planning on being one and done. Hopefully (God willing) he won't have to deal with divorced parents.
We live in a beach area and it's fairly urban as well. There's a lot to do and we're only 3 hours from DC. I like to travel and we'll probably start doing weekend trips with DS more. I don't think I traveled much with my family.
Dh and I were also both raised by single parents with little to no involvement from the other parent. I was raised by my mother, and dh by his father. So, as cedenton said, I certainly hope ds won't have to deal with divorced parents, but if that were to happen, I don't see either one of us just walking out of ds's life.
The differences seem too many to count. The only similarity I can really think of is having a sibling close in age.
as kids my sister and I would go play outside ALL DAY in the summer. we'd come home for meals but other than that we'd play with all our neighbors, running yard to yard (we lived on a court with a bunch of other kids our ages). Nowadays kids play video games and are in doors more. Kids I used to nanny for (3 little girls) have iPads and iPhones now! DD plays on my iPad. Plus is it me or are kids just growing up too fast? They aren't enjoying their childhood. I played with Barbies until 8 or 9? Maybe even older- but a lot of kids did then! Sorry I'm late to the game on this one, but I wanted to add my 2 cents
I grew up in the country with few people and Charlie is going to have more of a city life. I kind of wish we were back in the mountains. She will also grow up with just me. Her dad isn't in her life, and I had both of my parents. They were pretty well off, and for me every day is a struggle financially, so Charlie wont be able to have as much. So far she seems pretty happy though