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August 2012 Moms
twinkletoes3126
member
Grandparents
twinkletoes3126
member
How often do your kids see their grandparents? Do they babysit often? Spend the night at their house?
My mom is constantly pressuring me to babysit and have my son over night. We don't have the need for babysitters too often and I am happy to have him with me most of the time. We have never had him sleep at her house. However, I do feel bad that she is so upset with me. My mom tells me I'm not normal and I'm just curious what other moms do. Thanks!
My mom is constantly pressuring me to babysit and have my son over night. We don't have the need for babysitters too often and I am happy to have him with me most of the time. We have never had him sleep at her house. However, I do feel bad that she is so upset with me. My mom tells me I'm not normal and I'm just curious what other moms do. Thanks!
#2 BFP 8/23/14, EDD 5/1/15, M/C 9/17/14 - Forever in our hearts 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Grandparents
My FIL lives 4.5hrs away and cones to visit once a month for 4-5 days. Agian we are around but he will usually tell us to go out to dinner or something one night he is here and watch DS.
We lived 12hrs from my parents and 15hrs from FIL when DS was born. We hated it. I want DS to be close to his grandparents, aunts/uncles, and cousins. It was the top reason we moved back so even though we don't need a sitter often he still spends time with them often.
I really wished my family lived closer to me. I was very close to my maternal grandparents and want that for Albert, but so far it looks as though that is not to be.
We really only leave DD with them over night if necessary. This has so far happened four times. They have never taken her over night just for fun... they like to sleep in!
They do all really love coming over to play with her in the evening, though. Maybe you could suggest that to your mom if she lives nearby? It's kind of nice because then I can tidy up the house or work on dinner and DD still has someone to play with and supervise her.
Also, if she's a responsible, trustworthy caregiver, why not leave your LO with her overnight? You could have a girls night, a night out with your partner, or just stay in and sleep in the night morning. Could be fun!
i'm probably being overprotective, but i feel like i'd rather wait until DS is a little older and more able to understand what's going on before he stays overnight. i used to have sleepovers at my grandma's starting when i was 4 or 5 and i loved it, cos i was old enough at that point to appreciate that i was being spoiled when i went to grandma's house.
Ideally, when we get our own house again, I see us visiting both sides at least once a week, and maybe once a month my parents will get T overnight (they have a crib that he will actually sleep in whereas my ILs have a pack and play and he refuses to sleep in it), and my ILs will get him alone at least once a month for us to go on a date night, but not overnight. We don't plan on being more than 20-30 minutes away from either grandparents, so we will probably see them even more often than that. We are all very close and I trust both sides to watch him.
I WISH our parents lived closer. I think date nights with your SO are important and it would be awesome not to have to pay a babysitter $10/hr. I wouldn't have a problem doing a grandparent overnight maybe once/month or every other week. I think it's a shame how little grandparent/grandchild interaction most children get these days.
I was thinking from your orginal post she was upset that you weren't letting her spend anytime with your DS. I wouldn't feel guilty if she sees him regularly. Why does she feel it needs to be babysitting/overnight stays verse spending time with you all as a family?
Go out for a hair appointment or to Target by yourself - do some little trips and take advantage of your mom's willingness.
My parents are LO's only grandparents and we live with them, so she sees them almost every day. If I didn't live with them, we would visit a lot, but I wouldn't want to leaver her with them very often and never over night. I like her to be with me as much as possible.
they've had DD over night 2 times now. both were for a wedding I was in. I guess I'm not that normal either. haha
DD doesn't sleep very well there or nap and totally pushes her boundaries. It's getting a little better but I'm always hesitant to go spend a couple days there because it throws her schedule all out of whack!
my dad is retired and my mom is an accountant that works from home so they are busy with payroll and such. on their free weekends they will sometimes (very rarely) come here and spend a night. I prefer that for now. But she loves going there- they have small dogs and a pool and DD goes nuts with sensory overload- lots of stuff to get into! ahhh!
DS has never spent the night anywhere and my in-laws have never babysat him. They live 45 minutes away and see him a few hours every couple weeks. My parents live in the apartment above our garage so they see him all the time but have only babysat for 3 or 4 hours here and there. If I have something to do, DH likes to watch him because he works all week and wants to see him.
DS is still nursing at naps and bedtime so that's part of my hesitation. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty though - it's your choice as a parent to do what you feel is best.
ETA - We live about 20 mins away - but K has never spent the night. Doesn't mean they don't ask if he could. There are certain things I don't allow and that's let my babies spend the night elsewhere unless I have no choice. My parents and siblings get that and know where I draw the line. I agree with everyone else - everyone has different "normalcy".
My Monster-in-law is flipping out because she doesn't get to babysit, but she has health issues and is a crazy person so we don't trust her with DD. She isn't taking it very well and throws fits all the time, saying DH is a terrible person and she doesn't know how he sleeps at night. She says she is a mom and wants to be a grandma too and NEEDS to babysit to be a grandma.
I saw others say they feel that their kids can bond better with grandparents when they aren't home but MIL has done nothing to prove she is capable. lets her eat the bubbles, stand on her chair, never changes her diaper when she poos, doesn't listen to rules we set. Doesn't sound like someone who is sooo eager to babysit.
Sorry I ramble there. BUT despite all that we would make sure she got to see DD at least once a week. up until all that BS, now it has been about a month because DH is pissed at her.
DD has never spent the night without us there. Others have put her to bed but we always show up later.
Don't let anyone guilt you into doing something you aren't comfortable with.
DD could spend one night a week away of she wanted to and I wouldn't mind. If she's not home I don't have to hear the lip and drama.
If my parents or DH's mom lived closer, I would definitely let them babysit a couple times a month. DH's dad, I probably wouldn't leave alone with the kids...he hasn't spent much time with kids in general since he left his.
I would not do overnights for DS yet (and probably not DD either...). The only nights I have been away from either kid were when I was in the hospital (having DS and then getting my appendix out).
And DS still nurses once or twice a night, which makes it tough. But even if he didn't, I don't think I am ready to voluntarily leave him for a night. No judgment for those who are, but your mom definitely shouldn't be guilting you into it.