New job, horrible timing (m/c?)

abbyful · October 2013

I just had my 2nd interview with a company this morning, and they called at 5 to offer me the job (which I will take). I start November 6.

Sucky timing though. I have an ultrasound on October 31st, and I'm 100% sure there will be no heartbeat. Measured way behind and heartrate under 100 at our first ultrasound last week. (And I am sure on my dates. I know for sure my ovulation date and when I got BFP, it is impossible.)

I was thinking of taking off Nov 4-8 to deal with everything, but that's not a possibility now.

I guess I should opt for the D&C as soon as possible (Oct 31 or Nov 1 if I can). I don't know if I do the medicine route if it will be done in time. If I don't start m/c-ing before my appt. I really wish I wasn't dealing with this all at once. I wish I wasn't having to deal with it at all. But I really don't want to be bleeding the first week at my new job.

I guess the silver lining is maybe the new job will help distract me.

LindsayDesigner · October 2013

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope things work out.

Maizey06 · October 2013

Maybe the new job will give you something positive to focus on during that time. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out.

Jillwithani · October 2013

I'm so sorry but I'm still remaining positive for you. When I had a missed miscarriage I opted for a non-surgical route using cytotec. Recovery was easier and I could grieve at home. You could always try and give them a later start date due to medical issues?

sdlaura · October 2013

Maizey06 said:

Maybe the new job will give you something positive to focus on during that time. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out.

I agree with this. Again, I'm sorry you're going through this. But if you do end up needing a D&C, I doubt you'll need a week to recover. I had a D&C on a Friday and felt fine immediately. I went to a baby shower the next day (fun times) and went to work on Monday.

Crossingfingers · October 2013

I am so sorry for all that you are dealing with. I will keep my fingers crossed for good news and a great job to keep you busy.

Bemyselfandi · October 2013

Please don't hesitate to tell them...even if there's a possibility. I know it seems like a touchy subject but if they're willing to work with you then you want to continue to work with them. I got a job two years ago. I found out I was pregnant. I started miscarrying my first day. I was devistated. I should have told my boss. She would have let me go home. I regret it. I completely repressed the whole miscarriage because I got a new job.

Bemyselfandi · October 2013

Fx sticky. You've been in my thoughts dear.

mindymaske · October 2013

Abby, don't be so sure just yet. I had almost the exact situation w/ LO. I had my first ultrasound done at 7 weeks something days and there was nothing but a yolk sack on the ultrasound and by 7w, there should have been more and they assumed i had an early miscarriage and scheduled the repeat ultrasound for a week away. I TOO was certain on my dates. Well, as you can tell, everything turned out fine and a week later there was a baby (well embryo) and I now have Scarlet.
I remember that being the hardest week of my life. And it was over xmas last year and I had to put on this fake happy face when really it was killing me, not knowing and trying to prepare for m/c and potential DnC. I hope that you have the same outcome I did. Early miscarriage is common but don't give up hope yet.
xoxo

MoFree · October 2013

I agree with PPs that things may turn out fine. I'm sorry you're going through this.

rp-chicago-mom · October 2013

I'm sorry you are faced with this. I hope things turn out well for you.

ColeyJ88 · October 2013

I'm so sorry that you're going through this

I'll be sending my t&p to you that everything will be fine next week! When I had my u/s I was also measuring 1.5 weeks behind the date they gave me. I have to go back for another scan to see if there is growth. I'm trying to stay positive about it. From what everyone is telling me, sometimes they are just a little slow in the beginning, but can catch up! I know it's hard, but I think finding a neutral place in between hoping for the best and preparing for the worst is best. Your body isn't a hospitable place when you're stressed!

shakinros · October 2013

So sorry to hear this. I agree with PP that if it turns out to be what you think, ask your new job if you can start a few days later. The difference between starting on the 6th as scheduled or on the 9th to give yourself some time to recover is negligible. Taking care of yourself first will make you a way better employee on your first day.

brandyleighxx · October 2013

I'm very sorry. I've never had a m/c or d&c so I don't know what recovery is like but I think I would go ahead and opt to start the new job, too, as you said for a distraction. Hugs!

SJandVA · October 2013

I'm sorry you are going through this.
I know you are preparing for the worst but try to have a little hope. From what others are saying you may still have a good outcome. T&P's

WhtRssnGrl · October 2013

I'm so sorry

abbyful · October 2013

Thank you for the support everyone. I did manage to get my start date pushed back until the next Monday, so that will at least give me another weekend.

I'm more afraid of the emotional recovery than the physical recovery. :-<

I'm praying that somehow a miracle will happen and everything will be okay. But I'm not expecting it to be. It's funny (not in a "ha-ha" way), I didn't even think about "baby is currently alive, but way behind" being an outcome of my 1st ultrasound, I had only thought of either "baby" or "no baby" being the possible outcomes.

CourtneyEeps · October 2013

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this right now. Don't be afraid to take a few days for your own well being if you need it. T&P's!

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