Working on a PhD after having a kid?

daltosostarby · October 2013

Hey girls, have any of you gone back to school/planning on going back to school after having a LO? I hae been looking at finishing my PhD, and talked to the department here at Mizzou, and I really like it a lot, and the head of the department seems to think I'd get in with a stipend pretty easy.

Just wanted to get others input. TIA

quidditchcapn1120 · October 2013

I was in the middle of dental school when I had DS. I finished with my DDS when he was 18 months old. I will finish my masters and residency when DS1 is 3 and DS2 is 5 months old.

It's doable. It has its stresses and of course can be difficult but I actually think being a mom has made me a better student and employee. Maybe a better dentist.

daltosostarby · October 2013

@quidditchcapn1120
Thanks. It would be great career wise for me. I'm just nervous that I won't have much time with my LO or DH.

cowscrub · October 2013

I'm in the throws of my Masters in nursing education and will have less than a year left when she is due. I have 4 kids already at home so I figure I've done this much I can and will finish once she arrives.

joshsmandy · October 2013

I went to college after my kids were born, mostly because I wanted to support them better then I could on a factory job. It was incredibly difficult but I am happy to say I graduated!! You can do anything you want to if you want it bad enough.

AnnikaD20 · October 2013

As a FTM, I can't speak to this directly, but when I was getting my Masters, 3 of the 4 female PhD students I worked with were moms. Two of them were actually single mothers. I also have a good friend who defended her dissertation in a different field while she was 7mo pregnant with her third.

A lot of people told me that I should finish all of my education before having kids, but looking around at all the women around me doing grad school and motherhood, they made it look like it wasn't a huge deal. Yeah, the work is intense, there are project deadlines and course finals and research. But the hours are flexible, and it's pretty rewarding.

I'd give you the same advice that I give anyone asking my opinion on grad school, parent or not, and that's to make sure you really really love your research topic because you are going to be extremely focused on it for years and you'll get burnt out if it's not something that you're excited to work on.

I'm hoping to go back for my PhD myself in a few years, after I get more established in my career and they'll give me paid leave to go do it.

HappyDoc · October 2013

Not to be the Debbie Downer of the group, but I think it really depends on the field you are getting your Ph.D. in. I got my doctorate in Psychology, and my program only offered a full-time program for four years, with a year long internship which REQUIRED you to have to move as there were not any internships within a 3-hour radius of the college I attended. I attended college in PA and had to move to TN for a year. Two people got pregnant while in the program, and ended up having to leave, as the requirements were nearly impossible to do with any distractions (jobs, children, illness, etc.).

That being said, I realize that not all programs are this intense, and some even allow you to work at your own pace. I am assuming that whoever you talked to at the program knows that you are pregnant, so if they are supportive of you applying, it must mean that they think you can handle the program, which is a great thing!

vstevens · October 2013

I was in the middle of the first year of a 2 year Master's program (MPA) and working FT when I got pregnant with DS1. I had him on summer vacation, and switched to PT school / FT work (after mat leave). It was crazy, but doable. I actually think being either a FT student or FT working is easier - the combination of both started to wear me down after a while.

In terms of your program, I would just find out to what extent your coursework is flexible (assuming you have some in the first couple of years) for scheduling - my program was great because there were lots of night classes (so DH could come from work and take over childcare).

CRUN2012 · October 2013

Good question! I am thinking of returning to school for my PhD in Social Work..but I'm struggling with deciding when the best time would be? After only one child? After I'm totally done having kids in a few years? I have my Masters degree now and am testing for my advanced licensure (LISW) this June...but I agree with PP...I think it all depends on the program and what's going to work with your life and family.

aessary03 · October 2013

I went back for my first masters when my DD was a baby. It's doable!

twobluelines · October 2013

I agree that it depends on your program. I diy phd in microbiology and immunology and I worked 7 days a week 12 -14 hours a day for 4 years. I took 1 "vacation" and I took my thesis worrying with me. But I have seen other programs that are much less intense. Talk to your supervisor about their expectations for the hours you will work.

hoagh · October 2013

I am in the process of getting my doctorate now, working full time, and being a mommy. It definitely is stressful at times and depends on how you can manage stress and your time.
Like happydoc said, I also think it depends on what field it is in. Mine is hybrid, where my time is split between online and weekend classes, which I think helps.

The biggest thing you probably need to look at is your support system. There are days where I NEED to get work done and DH will take DD and go shopping just to distract her from wanting me to play with her. My family also live close by, and my mom or sister help out when needed. I would definitely say that I wouldn't be able to do it without them. (But fingers crossed I should be done by next December

)

km_md · October 2013

I'm not getting my PhD at this point, but I am in University right now. I have this semester and then another credit and a half to finish next semester so that I can graduate. If I don't go to school next semester when LO is born, I will have to wait another full year for the school to offer the courses I need, which I don't want to do, so I'm just going to work right through. I know that it is going to be tough, but I think that I can do it.

angiek1 · October 2013

I am going to get my graduate degree and I am either starting in June or waiting until August. I think you need to make sure that you truly understand the expectations of the program you are entering. You also need to make sure you and H have a strong connection to you getting your degree and that he is willing to step in.

My H and I have talked at lengths the time commitment it'll be for me to go back to school. Since I have decided to have a career he fully supports continuing my education. We both are firm believers that in order for me to hit my career goals I will need a higher education.

I think if you have fully done your research it is do-able. Somethings in life will have to get cut out, but if you set your priorities and make those a focus you should be able to balance just fine.

Tomerine · October 2013

I'm in the dissertation phase now, and I definitely won't be anywhere near done by the time the baby comes. But I have friends who are doing it and they assure me it's possible. It sounds like they've had to readjust their expectations about how/where/when they do work, but they are all making good progress, so I'm hopeful. One of my friends wrote her comps in the first 6 weeks after her son's birth and passed! Another works part-time, is working on her dissertation, and home schools 4 kids (tho she may just be Superwoman). I figure if they can do that, I can keep slowly plugging away.

litzo27 · October 2013

I had DS1 when I was at the end of my 3rd year - I.e. done with classes and working on dissertation and some other projects. It's doable. In some sense its easier than when working because your schedule is so flexible. But I did have a full time nanny from 6 weeks on. You can't make progress otherwise. I finished in time - went on the academic job market in the middle of my fifth year. Of my current PHD students one had a baby a month before start of her first year. Getting through the class load was hard (and she had her parents living with them and helping out). I don't know what your program entails and what your plans for childcare are. I would take those into consideration.
If you have your heart set on a Phd I would not wait till you are done having children. You are never done - the demands just change. (in case you are entering an academic market its also harder the older you are).

quidditchcapn1120 · October 2013

daltoso said:

@quidditchcapn1120 Thanks. It would be great career wise for me. I'm just nervous that I won't have much time with my LO or DH.

That might be true. I only really get to see DS on the weekends. I get home in time for dinner and bedtime routine and that's it on the weekdays.

Also, DH works an opposite schedule as me so the only time I see him is after I get off work on his days off (he is a restaurant manager so he does not get weekend days off).

That part is tough but we've just decided that is going to be the way it is until July.

Caitlinm123 · October 2013

I am planning on going back to school in sept. 2014. Not for a PHD though, they estimate the school work to be around 40 hours a week so I am thinking it will be close to what moms who work full time do. Then again I could be wrong and be in for a huge surprise!

lindsrules · October 2013

I went back for my master of science/pediatric nurse practitioner when my DS was 1. It was challenging and stressful but he was my motivation for getting it done. I graduated in May and am now expecting LO #2 (27 weeks) and I'm so proud and grateful that I accomplished this. You can be a mom and still have a great education and career. You go girl!

jmdaisy2 · October 2013

I'm currently in my first year of a Ph.D. program (psychology), and it has to be doable because not completing it is not an option for me.

For some fields/career paths, graduate school is the ideal time to start your family (or so I have been told by advisors). For example, mine. I want to become a researcher/tenured faculty member, and the road is not set to become any less grueling for the next 15 years or so.

quidditchcapn1120 · October 2013

jmdaisy2 said:

I'm currently in my first year of a Ph.D. program (psychology), and it has to be doable because not completing it is not an option for me.

For some fields/career paths, graduate school is the ideal time to start your family (or so I have been told by advisors). For example, mine. I want to become a researcher/tenured faculty member, and the road is not set to become any less grueling for the next 15 years or so.

I would also agree with this. You have to go into it thinking that you have no other option than to finish. In dental school I could only take 2 weeks off and still graduate on time. So, I went back at 2 weeks post-partum and just put the guilt and the woe-is-me and the discomfort of pumping every 2 hours during clinic and walking with stitches still in at the door and just told myself there was no other way. You can do it!

daltosostarby · October 2013

Thanks everyone for your experiences. My program is in Library and Information Science, and the nice thing about it is that some classes can be taken online. I also have a year of class work done already, so it would really only be one year at the most of classes, and then lit review, comps, etc. Plus the grad school has a good daycare system on campus that can I could register for, and get some funding through the graduate school, making it more affordable! I think it seems like the best option for me at this time.

quidditchcapn1120 · October 2013

daltoso said:

Thanks everyone for your experiences. My program is in Library and Information Science, and the nice thing about it is that some classes can be taken online. I also have a year of class work done already, so it would really only be one year at the most of classes, and then lit review, comps, etc. Plus the grad school has a good daycare system on campus that can I could register for, and get some funding through the graduate school, making it more affordable! I think it seems like the best option for me at this time.

This sounds like it would work out nicely. I say go for it!

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