Bump Horror Stories

JNerd · October 2013

It's Monday and I don't feel like working. For those that have been around the bump for a while, chances are you have encountered some crazies and some even crazier stories.

Do share! Bonus points for links.

For those that are new here, grab some popcorn and super nibs and enjoy.

KristaU831 · October 2013

there was one something about a fingerful of feta

a girl who gave blowjobs while breastfeeding as in simultaneously it is supposedly here https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/8252113/fffc-but-let-s-flame-if-we-want-to/p1

there was once a girl who accidentally posted a picture of her SO's weiner.

and something about a girl who let her husband spank her for discipline.

edited to change cheddar to feta. i was thinking of cheddar because i want to make mac and cheese.

TonyaCody06 · October 2013

I'm sure someone has the "fisting" link. I can't find it.

Bcsquier · October 2013

Okay this just happened to me yesterday: I was at work (I'm a waitress) and getting ready to go home and doing some side work, well I sneezed and it made me pee my pants! This has never happened to me before! It wasn't a whole lot but let's just say it still was down my thigh and thank goodness I wear black pants at work! I haven't even told my DH about this yet!

KristaU831 · October 2013

TonyaCody06 said:

I'm sure someone has the "fisting" link. I can't find it.

omg how could i forget fisting? hahahaha

KristaU831 · October 2013

here is the fisting link https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/7560789/preparing-for-child-birth/p1

TonyaCody06 · October 2013

KristaU831 said:

here is the fisting link https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/7560789/preparing-for-child-birth/p1

thanks for the assistance

JNerd · October 2013

From the June2012 group- there was a member whose husband was a twice convicted sex offender - child porn. At this point she was already a member on the FB group and sh*t really hit the fan when people found out. She ended up leaving the FB group and from what I understand coming back to be a part of the May2012 group (since her twins were born in May). Haven't heard much of anything since then, but it was still pretty messed up.

Here is a post (from BOTB) where she admits that it is true about her husband, then goes on an epic rant. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/67890115/#Comment_67890115

nunzchucks · October 2013

Oh goodness. I love Bump crazies!

MrsKipper · October 2013

I was on TTGP when the fisting went down. So funny!

erind228 · October 2013

Wow! I can't get over the fisting. Who thinks up this shit?

Bcsquier · October 2013

Hmm maybe I missed the point of this thread, I thought we were sharing our own horror stories so far lol, but all of these are pretty funny!

MrsKipper · October 2013

BrightEyes112 said:
I mentioned this in another thread and someone linked it for me. A pregnant girl was asking if her baby is a girl, could her baby get pregnant when her man has sex with her.

I remember that one, too!

JNerd · October 2013

Bcsquier said:

Hmm maybe I missed the point of this thread, I thought we were sharing our own horror stories so far lol, but all of these are pretty funny!

Either works! Personal horror stories are just as welcome

There is always some great drama, most of it MUD (Made up drama) but still makes for a good read.

WoodsSeltzer09 · October 2013

Love the Bump Crazzies - i so needed these to get me through this gloomy monday

babybean82 · October 2013

There was one, I don't know what the link to it is but it was on either 1st Tri or on November 2013, this girl wrote a couple of crazy stories about her baby including one about how her dh was a farmer and he plowed her and then something about how he was going to knock on her belly and pull the baby out..... It was pretty crazy.

beeekey · October 2013

:-h

L.K.2010 · October 2013

Laughing so hard I'm crying! I especially like the "throwing a hotdog down a hallway" and "please don't homeschool!" Hilarious! Thanks for posting

Pepper6 · October 2013

Don't forget the recent drama on May '14 with the crazy chick who said that C-sections aren't real births...

GoMommy · October 2013

Anyone part of the feb 11 board would remember wilma.. "she" was made up and was CRAZY..

Unknown · October 2013

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Snickerdoodle24 · October 2013

Pepper6 said:
Don't forget the recent drama on May '14 with the crazy chick who said that C-sections aren't real births...

Say whaaaaaat?!

twistsandturnsto2 · October 2013

susienick24 said:

Pepper6 said:
Don't forget the recent drama on May '14 with the crazy chick who said that C-sections aren't real births...

Say whaaaaaat?!

Wtf?!?

hjl050308 · October 2013

There was that one woman on 0-3 months that was a "kept" woman and was asking about a nighttime nanny. I think the recap may have been in the December 13 weekly wrap up, but I'm not 100% sure.

KristaU831 · October 2013

GoMommy said:

Anyone part of the feb 11 board would remember wilma.. "she" was made up and was CRAZY..

i was jan 11 and remember wilma she stole one of my friends pictures and used it as hers!

Unknown · October 2013

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Pepper6 · October 2013

hjl050308 said:

There was that one woman on 0-3 months that was a "kept" woman and was asking about a nighttime nanny. I think the recap may have been in the December 13 weekly wrap up, but I'm not 100% sure.

I remember that one. Didn't she have another crazy thread before that that too?

beeekey · October 2013

babybean82 said:
There was one, I don't know what the link to it is but it was on either 1st Tri or on November 2013, this girl wrote a couple of crazy stories about her baby including one about how her dh was a farmer and he plowed her and then something about how he was going to knock on her belly and pull the baby out..... It was pretty crazy.

I REMEMBER THIS ONE!!! She posted on Oct 2013 as well. Total mud. Loved it.

cristykaye · October 2013

This is great!!! I seriously about passed my pants laughing out loud in class when I read the fisting one!! I'm not expert but I think her DH may have lied to her! Lol

ksyknelvr73 · October 2013

GoMommy said:

Anyone part of the feb 11 board would remember wilma.. "she" was made up and was CRAZY..

Yep I was on that board and I remember "her". Didn't "her" husband come on to post later that she and their baby had died in a tragic accident???

flerlgirl · October 2013

And of course our most recent crazy, jessntim3 or whoever she was that was having an affair with a married man but it was okay bc his wife couldn't have kids so cheating was obvs the best solution.

CreEspree · October 2013

DH thinks I'm crazy cause I'm laughing so hard. Fisting.. Really?? Lmao.. Her husband must have a way w/ words.

Unknown · October 2013

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hjl050308 · October 2013

@meladoriestar, that's exactly the one. Her posts and wall with pictures were too much! They were some great reads.

christinemurray91 · October 2013

JNerd said:

From the June2012 group- there was a member whose husband was a twice convicted sex offender - child porn. At this point she was already a member on the FB group and sh*t really hit the fan when people found out. She ended up leaving the FB group and from what I understand coming back to be a part of the May2012 group (since her twins were born in May). Haven't heard much of anything since then, but it was still pretty messed up.

Here is a post (from BOTB) where she admits that it is true about her husband, then goes on an epic rant. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/67890115/#Comment_67890115

Geez. And TB members even helped her out by sending her money

nunzchucks · October 2013

Here's some jessntim fun. Unfortunately, she "deleted" a lot of her stuff. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12088103/birth-certificate-question/p1

Unknown · October 2013

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JNerd · October 2013

christinemurray91 said:

JNerd said:

From the June2012 group- there was a member whose husband was a twice convicted sex offender - child porn. At this point she was already a member on the FB group and sh*t really hit the fan when people found out. She ended up leaving the FB group and from what I understand coming back to be a part of the May2012 group (since her twins were born in May). Haven't heard much of anything since then, but it was still pretty messed up.

Here is a post (from BOTB) where she admits that it is true about her husband, then goes on an epic rant. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/67890115/#Comment_67890115

Geez. And TB members even helped her out by sending her money

Yup. They felt super scammed. She was a real board bully too - she had a following and if she spoke out about something, they all did too. It was so bad that a lot of people felt like they couldn't post for fear of her wrath.

nunzchucks · October 2013

LoHerrim said:
I have actually had "friends" tell me this to my face. That I have never given birth to any of my children because I have c-sections. Then was told that my 17week pregnancy with my baby girls delivery (it was vaginal and in hospital) doesn't count because she was only a pound.

Un-freaking-believable. People are the worst sometimes.