Discussion: Parenting Styles

kenidikalamity · October 2013

I really don't understand the rude things being said to me because my opinion is not your own..

As for BF I have always thought of breasts being seen in our society as a sex related body part. We don't have topless bars because men are hungry, we have them because men like sexual things. Again only my opinion

Emerald27 · October 2013

@kenidikalamity Are these offensive to you? Shield thine eyes from all mamas feeding their babies! Those cats should cover up and the elephant should bottle feed when out of her cage.

kenidikalamity · October 2013

I'm not sure what mercola is, and I did not say it was recalled in 2007, just that warning were issued in 2007. I have never known anyone who has claimed it as delegitimization when enroll inch their children

kenidikalamity · October 2013

Religion I mean damn autocorrect

kenidikalamity · October 2013

funnibunni80 said:

kenidikalamity said:
I really don't understand the rude things being said to me because my opinion is not your own..

As for BF I have always thought of breasts being seen in our society as a sex related body part. We don't have topless bars because men are hungry, we have them because men like sexual things. Again only my opinion
We have them because men like naked ladies. And I'd argue they ARE hungry.

Yea ok hungry but not for milk lol

kenidikalamity · October 2013

Again not sure who Jenny McCarthy is.. Most of the things that made me think twice about vaccs came from my uncle who is a pediatrician. The public school thing I am not sure of. Everyone I know sends their kids to private school since the education is so much better supposedly

Kyselova · October 2013

MeatandBandP said:

GhostMonkey said:

That didn't take long for the stupid to come out.

Valancyy did. Everyone's been awesome so far in not getting way too snarky over opinions, can we keep it that way please?

edit: clarification
It looks like you googled controversal parenting topics, copied all options and now want to police how people answer? That's not how this board works

BPaws..
I know how this board works, but I guess I didn't want "mommy wars", y'know? Like others have said, everyone has different techniques, and the kids grow up just fine. I suppose in a way I was doing the "police how people answer",but not to keep differences of opinion to come up, but to try to keep a mommy war from happening? Everyone who has opinions on these topics, and use them for their own children, do a wonderful job. Of course differences of opinion come up, it's inevitable. But like I said, with that in mind, mommy wars shouldn't happen.
But holy crap, I leave for a couple hours, and 64 new notifications come up. Damn! Now to read the rest!

kenidikalamity · October 2013

I am still here because I am trying to start a family and this is a place I thought I might get support. I may have been wrong about that I guess. And I said supposedly they are better because that's the opinion of the people that send their kids there. I don't really know if I believe that, having gone to private schools myself

kenidikalamity · October 2013

cjchio said:

kenidikalamity said:

I am still here because I am trying to start a family and this is a place I thought I might get support. I may have been wrong about that I guess. And I said supposedly they are better because that's the opinion of the people that send their kids there. I don't really know if I believe that, having gone to private schools myself

Then why ask??

pjaimeal · October 2013

kenidikalamity said:

I am still here because I am trying to start a family and this is a place I thought I might get support. I may have been wrong about that I guess. And I said supposedly they are better because that's the opinion of the people that send their kids there. I don't really know if I believe that, having gone to private schools myself

Here is a basic breakdown of public schools and private schools (exceptions are charter schools and publicly funded private schools). Public school teachers have more schooling and need to go through a credentialing program to teach. Private schools can and will hire anyone. It is possible to get a better education through a private school, but it is linked to so many other factors (class size, parent involvement, one-on-one time). Public school teachers are required to teach for tests, which is bullshit. Some of our most qualified teachers cannot even do what they love to do because of the red tape. Not counting the fact that class sizes are often large (24-50 students depending on grade level, etc). And of course people who are sending their kids to private school say that it is better, why would they pay the money if they believed otherwise?

Kyselova · October 2013

Kyselova said:

MeatandBandP said:

GhostMonkey said:

That didn't take long for the stupid to come out.

Valancyy did. Everyone's been awesome so far in not getting way too snarky over opinions, can we keep it that way please?

edit: clarification
It looks like you googled controversal parenting topics, copied all options and now want to police how people answer? That's not how this board works

BPaws..
I know how this board works, but I guess I didn't want "mommy wars", y'know? Like others have said, everyone has different techniques, and the kids grow up just fine. I suppose in a way I was doing the "police how people answer",but not to keep differences of opinion to come up, but to try to keep a mommy war from happening? Everyone who has opinions on these topics, and use them for their own children, do a wonderful job. Of course differences of opinion come up, it's inevitable. But like I said, with that in mind, mommy wars shouldn't happen.
But holy crap, I leave for a couple hours, and 64 new notifications come up. Damn! Now to read the rest!

Edit: okay, okay, I do understand the passion between the vaccinations, and breastfeeding. Carry on, don't mind me

kenidikalamity · October 2013

pjaimeal said:

kenidikalamity said:

I am still here because I am trying to start a family and this is a place I thought I might get support. I may have been wrong about that I guess. And I said supposedly they are better because that's the opinion of the people that send their kids there. I don't really know if I believe that, having gone to private schools myself

Here is a basic breakdown of public schools and private schools (exceptions are charter schools and publicly funded private schools). Public school teachers have more schooling and need to go through a credentialing program to teach. Private schools can and will hire anyone. It is possible to get a better education through a private school, but it is linked to so many other factors (class size, parent involvement, one-on-one time). Public school teachers are required to teach for tests, which is bullshit. Some of our most qualified teachers cannot even do what they love to do because of the red tape. Not counting the fact that class sizes are often large (24-50 students depending on grade level, etc). And of course people who are sending their kids to private school say that it is better, why would they pay the money if they believed otherwise?

Like I said I don't know that I agree private schools are better. I feel like it depends on the school. I went to catholic schools and was required to take religion classes instead if things like economics and philosophy. I would never send my kids to the schools I went to, even though they are ranked some if the highest in the state for academics, and graduates continuing their education at ivy leagues. I agree with you that it relies in many factors. As far as schooling goes for my own kids, I haven't researched it enough to have made a decision yet

kenidikalamity · October 2013

cjchio said:

kenidikalamity said:

cjchio said:

kenidikalamity said:

I am still here because I am trying to start a family and this is a place I thought I might get support. I may have been wrong about that I guess. And I said supposedly they are better because that's the opinion of the people that send their kids there. I don't really know if I believe that, having gone to private schools myself

Then why ask??

I don't care that you came for support and, poor you, didn't get it when you ran your mouth.

I also ask because do you think if you stick around you will get the support you want? Because I don't think you will after your narrow minded comments.

I didn't want support on this subject specifically. I hurt thought it would be an interesting way to meet people since I am new. The support I was talking about was regarding my journey and struggle TTC. I figure if we are all here we have that in common. Regardless of how I chose to parent, I figured this board would allow me to seek support from women who have been through similar things.

kenidikalamity · October 2013

I have heard some great things about charter schools here as well! Happy they are working out for you!

HalseytoBe · October 2013

I am not a mother, yet. So my stances very well may change once I become one! I feel I will never know what these mean, until I am a mother.

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- I would like to breast feed for about 4-6 weeks, if I can. But I want daddy to have some feed time so I might do both. When I return to work, he/she will need to bottle feed.

Spanking- I will probably do the "I'm warning you" spanking occasionally. I was spanked and turned out okay, right? lol

Alcohol- I will not let my kids drink, even though I did in High school! I'm a teacher, and hopefully a prinicpal one day, so.... lol. Once they're in college though, things will most likely change!

Bed-Sharing- I'm not a fan- b/c I believe my DH and I will need that time for just us- If there is ever such a thing once parents.

Attachment Parenting Styles- not sure...

The "Cry It Out" method- I believe in this, but not when the baby "brand-new", he/she has to know it can trust mommy and daddy to protect and comfort her/him. Not sure when I would start the "cry it out".

Refusing to Vaccinate- my kids will be vaccinated.

Breast Feeding In Public- Heck yes! I mean I believe in covering up and not being in the dead center of everything, but if my baby needs to eat- I'm not going to go home to do this?

[Deleted User] · October 2013

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lebradford · October 2013

Brea

funnibunni80 said:

kenidikalamity said:

pjaimeal said:

kenidikalamity said:

I am still here because I am trying to start a family and this is a place I thought I might get support. I may have been wrong about that I guess. And I said supposedly they are better because that's the opinion of the people that send their kids there. I don't really know if I believe that, having gone to private schools myself

Here is a basic breakdown of public schools and private schools (exceptions are charter schools and publicly funded private schools). Public school teachers have more schooling and need to go through a credentialing program to teach. Private schools can and will hire anyone. It is possible to get a better education through a private school, but it is linked to so many other factors (class size, parent involvement, one-on-one time). Public school teachers are required to teach for tests, which is bullshit. Some of our most qualified teachers cannot even do what they love to do because of the red tape. Not counting the fact that class sizes are often large (24-50 students depending on grade level, etc). And of course people who are sending their kids to private school say that it is better, why would they pay the money if they believed otherwise?
Like I said I don't know that I agree private schools are better. I feel like it depends on the school. I went to catholic schools and was required to take religion classes instead if things like economics and philosophy. I would never send my kids to the schools I went to, even though they are ranked some if the highest in the state for academics, and graduates continuing their education at ivy leagues. I agree with you that it relies in many factors. As far as schooling goes for my own kids, I haven't researched it enough to have made a decision yet

Our public schools are garbage in our city. Our kids go to a charter school, and we are very happy with them.

Just a word about charter schools- I taught at a charter school for a year and it was fucking terrible. Charter schools can be a great option, but they aren't always, so do your research. (And this is just a general PSA, I'm assuming @funnibunni80 has done hers.)

HalseytoBe · October 2013

@ghostmonkey

Thanks so much for the information! I definitely plan on BFing as long as I can, and I will just pump when I go to work. Sorry, that's what I meant with going to bottle fed.

After reading all the responses about cover-ups, I will definitely try, rather than just doing it. I didn't even think about it! But if my future babe is anything like me, he/she will HATE anything over their head/face!

I love getting advice from all the mommies/mom's to be-it truly helps me prepare in ways I would have never known.

GirlOnTheBeach · October 2013

Okay, I'll play.

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- breast feeding and pumping (if I'm able)

Spanking- Yes. There is nothing wrong with a quick swat on the butt with a hand every once in a while if the situation calls for a quick response. Yes, we would talk about it later.

Alcohol- When I was a kid, my doctor recommended a small shot of warm whiskey, lemon, and honey before bed when I was sick. It totally helped soothe my throat and stop my coughing so I could sleep. I will do this with my children too. It also kept me from being interested in drinking until adulthood because all alcohol reminded me of that.

Bed-Sharing- If our kid has a bad dream or is really sick then yes, otherwise, no.

Attachment Parenting Styles- probably not. I'm fine with baby-wearing though.

The "Cry It Out" method- Not as a newborn or infant, but as they get a bit older, once they have been fed, changed, etc, then yes.

Refusing to Vaccinate- on the fence. I know we will probably vaccinate but on an alternative schedule.

Breast Feeding In Public- Either covered, we will go to a more discreet location, or we will use a bottle. I know people have very strong opinions about this (I saw the animal nursing pics posted) but I feel that it shouldn't be something on display for all. Yes, it's a natural thing, but there are a lot of other natural things we do out of the public eye because its not modest.

Spookster · October 2013

BPaws said:

The honest truth is you can wax philosophically about all the things you will and won't do, but you don't know until you're in that situation. Differing opinions are great. The topics you brought up are the MummyWorld version of religion and politics- people are very, very passionate about what they believe in. These are big topics, it was completely inevitable that this thread would take a bad turn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LoL Like I said from the beginning....this shit brings out the mommy wars

[Deleted User] · October 2013

The user and all related content has been deleted.

mrstomommy · October 2013

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- I'm assuming you mean formula feeding? I don't care how someone else feeds their kid as long as they are doing it. If the kid is happy and healthy that is all that matters. I BF and FF DD, and exclusively BF DS. Both turned out to be pretty awesome kids.

Spanking- Not for us, to each their own

Alcohol- Every parent should drink to maintain their sanity. Kidding..mostly.

Bed-Sharing - Sometimes you have got to do what you have got to do to survive. When done safely bed sharing can be just fine. DS slept safely in our bed from 6 months until 12 months old. It worked for us, it isn't everyone's cup of tea and I get that.

Attachment Parenting Styles- We lean fairly on the AP side of parenting. It has been a good fit for us. I like bed sharing and baby wearing. All good times over here. Again, to each their own.

TheCry It Out" method- " For a newborn? Not for us. But we did practice a "Ferber" approach with DS when he was 11 months old and it was 100% necessary in our particular situation. All personal preference. I'm not down with letting a newborn scream for hours on end though.

Refusing to Vaccinate- My kids are vaccinated. That is all I care about.

Breast Feeding In Public- I have breastfed MANY a time in public. When baby needs to eat, baby needs to eat. I can't always haul asss out to the car for privacy so I've had to make do in public before. I'm sure strangers would rather see me nursing with my cover than hear my child screaming bloody murder. It is much more pleasant.

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