Discussion: Parenting Styles

Kyselova · October 2013

Saw some interesting articles outlining "controversial" parenting styles or actions. Wanna weigh in with your thoughts on these? For or against?

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- (Assuming there are no issues producing milk/ latching for the mom [perfect world scenario])

Spanking- (We are not talking abuse, but an average "I warned you" spanking. Unless you see it as abuse regardless)

Alcohol- (Not "I'll let my kids get drunk in the house" alcohol. More, "Wanna get rid of that cold? Here's a tiny bit of whiskey")

Bed-Sharing

Attachment Parenting Styles

The "Cry It Out" method

Refusing to Vaccinate

Breast Feeding In Public

I feel like I should mention I haven't make decisions on if I'm for or against this. Each parent obviously raises their children different, and their kids are happy. But I think it could make for an interesting thread, since there are a LOT of opinions on what is "right" or "wrong".

Spookster · October 2013

I personally think these kinds of discussions fuel the "Mommy Wars" I am so against. Everyone parents how they see fit. Every family is different. There is no right or wrong way. It's about what works for you and your family and sometimes that means what works for my family is different.

Kyselova · October 2013

That's true. A lot of what I see on this board with active members are disagreements, but done in a mature way. "I see your point, but maybe.." kinda thing. Mommy wars are lame, because like I said, each child grows up happy and healthy, but maybe what I find interesting are the different approaches moms take to get their child there? "Controversial", to me, means that one group is protesting more than the other about parenting styles, which isn't something I agree with. I guess growing up in one generation than another really can change the way you raise your child too. For example, I know a lot of people that, as kids, were spanked when they were bad, and given whiskey to drive away a cold, but they grew up wonderful. Nowadays, for some people, spanking is out of the question, and they give their kids aspirin to drive away the cold. Y'know?

Kyselova · October 2013

jconno said:

Bottle feeding - if I can breast feed with no issues I am going to do that. Spanking - I don't plan on spanking but I can see certain circumstances where it might be necessary. However I would like to avoid it at all costs. Alcohol - I do not support allowing underage kids drinking. There is a lot of alcoholism in my family so it would never be ok with me. Bed sharing - only in situations where it's called for (nightmares, sick etc). I've seen bed sharing go badly where the child refuses to sleep in their own room, ever. Crying it out - yes. I don't want to cottle the shit out of my kid. But I do think there is a limit as to how long you let it go at a given time. Vaccines - I'm always on the fence with this. I think I will just try to space them out rather than allowing several to happen in one appt. BF in public - no shame in the game. If my baby is hungry I'm whipping it out. As tastefully as possible of course. I don't want to show strangers my cans.

Interesting viewpoints

Love the way you phrased the last, haha.

tealowl · October 2013

As long as you're not blantanly (did I spell that wrong?) harming your child, there is not right/wrong way.

If you took 31 year old me and lined me up next to 10 of my friends, can you tell which of was BF or bottle fed, slept in the same bed as our parents, or only grew up with one parent, or was spanked rather than talked too, or cried in their crib all night instead of held for hours? You can't tell.

MamaBovs · October 2013

Totally agree with PP that there is very little right/wrong when it comes to parenting. That said, I'll play

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- Completely personal decision in my opinion. I wouldn't judge someone for deciding not to breastfeed. I actually haven't decided yet if I want to BF #3 - it was just so miserable with #2 (but I stuck it out for 8 months).

Spanking- I'm OK with it (of course assuming no abuse).

Alcohol- Haven't done that; probably won't

Bed-Sharing - Not for me; I need my personal space!

The "Cry It Out" method - At a certain age, I am fine with CIO. It really only takes a couple days for them to figure it out and after that, life is SO much easier.

Refusing to Vaccinate - I'm against this. My kids have had and will continue to have all their vaccines.

Breast Feeding In Public - Fine with me! Probably best if you have some sort of cover-up but you do what you gotta do. I definitely breastfed my daughter in the middle of Brookfield Zoo once because the one (yes, one - really?!) breastfeeding room was full.

Daisylola11 · October 2013

HappyFeet34 said:

I personally think these kinds of discussions fuel the "Mommy Wars" I am so against. Everyone parents how they see fit. Every family is different. There is no right or wrong way. It's about what works for you and your family and sometimes that means what works for my family is different.
I agree with spooks. Unless you are blatantly hurting your child I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to most of these. I have opinions on what I think would work best for me and my family, but I've never been a mom so I can't really say for sure. Every family and child is different.

Agree w these, everyone is different and you gotta do what u think is best for your family. I too haven't been a parent so I could see me perhaps changing my opinion on some of these once I do have kids. I truly believe in a motherly instinct and if you feel like they need to for eg. CIO then give it a try and see how it works.... It's all about experience

momthatlifts · October 2013

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- I will bottle feed my own breast, milk if the circumstance calls for it. Such as public places or if I were to leave baby with family for a date. If dh takes baby somewhere or is left with baby. Spanking- yes. There are a lot of things I didn't do that I thought about doing as a kid because I. Knew I would get my ass whooped. I was even paddled in school. Alcohol- no. I will be a new mommy and don't know how harmful it could be for baby except my own common sense. I would never forgive myself if I were to make it worse. Or harm my baby Bed- this is a tough one. I would be soooo scared in smothering. Maybe nap time when it's just me and baby. But we will be getting a bassinet for the master room anyways so baby could sleep there. Or maybe sleep in bed with me while I'm awake watching tv or whatever Attachment Parenting Styles The "Cry It Out" method- not sure if this is much of a choice sometime so lol. From experience with my little sister, my parents used to turn the music up really loud in the car when she was start crying obnoxiously for no reason. Or for something we couldn't control. Never on public . Refusing to Vaccinate- they were never made to hurt us, but to protect us. I will vaccinate. Breast Feeding In Public- no, I know it makes people uncomfortable and the world doesn't need to stop just because I have a baby. Hence bottle feeding

Valancyy · October 2013

All right, I'll weigh in on a few.

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- Personal choice, this really shouldn't even be an issue.

Bed-Sharing-I honestly don't know enough about it to know if it's really safe or not. Personally, I have problems sleeping in the same bed as my cat, so I could never share a bed with a baby or toddler.

The "Cry It Out" method- I've let my kids cry to sleep, if I didn't I think I'd throw myself out a window at some points. You know what? It worked. After a few days of it they started falling asleep on their own. (I didn't let them cry forever, maybe 15 minutes max, when they were older, not newborns).

Refusing to Vaccinate- Totally against this. There is no reason not to vaccinate for most people. I have an aunt who has been in a wheelchair since age 9 due to the measles. (This happened right before the vaccine became available). @Packerfan4life said a lot about this.

Breast Feeding In Public- Done it A LOT. I don't use covers. Most of the time you can't see anything, and even if you could, it's a boob. They are made to feed babies. If you see a little bit of a nipple it's not the end of the world. Guys can show their nipples. I just don't think there's anything wrong with breasts. I actually like to breastfeed in public without a cover on purpose to help normalize it.

Kyselova · October 2013

So, question for moms who use the cry it out method and noticed their babies did start sleeping on their own better... How old ( in your own experience) was the best time to allow this?

Also, everyone here seems very pro-vaccinations, which is great. There are people though, that claim that vaccinations can lead to autism and such. For example, there is this article: https://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/six-reasons-to-say-no-to-vaccination/. Do you put any weight into these claims?

Disclaimer: I am NOT attacking anyones views, or trying to start arguments (as spookster said, this can lead to mommy wars, but so far, every one has been wonderful in just sharing their own personal experiences). I'm genuinely just asking for opinions. As someone who's NOT a mom yet, hearing what has worked for this person and that person gives me insight into my own opinions.

edit: wording

Twinkie0612 · October 2013

Kyselova said:

So, question for moms who use the cry it out method and noticed their babies did start sleeping on their own better... How old ( in your own experience) was the best time to allow this?

Also, everyone here seems very pro-vaccinations, which is great. There are people though, that claim that vaccinations can lead to down syndrome and such. For example, there is this article: https://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/six-reasons-to-say-no-to-vaccination/. Do you put any weight into these claims?

Disclaimer: I am NOT attacking anyones views, or trying to start arguments (as spookster said, this can lead to mommy wars, but so far, every one has been wonderful in just sharing their own personal experiences). I'm genuinely just asking for opinions. As someone who's NOT a mom yet, hearing what has worked for this person and that person gives me insight into my own opinions.

Um, downs is caused by a chromosomal disorder and last time I checked vaccines don't change your chromosomes. I think you mean autism and that claim was scientifically debunked years ago. There is no scientific link between autism and vaccines.

Kyselova · October 2013

Twinkie0612 said:

Kyselova said:

So, question for moms who use the cry it out method and noticed their babies did start sleeping on their own better... How old ( in your own experience) was the best time to allow this?

Also, everyone here seems very pro-vaccinations, which is great. There are people though, that claim that vaccinations can lead to down syndrome and such. For example, there is this article: https://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/six-reasons-to-say-no-to-vaccination/. Do you put any weight into these claims?

Disclaimer: I am NOT attacking anyones views, or trying to start arguments (as spookster said, this can lead to mommy wars, but so far, every one has been wonderful in just sharing their own personal experiences). I'm genuinely just asking for opinions. As someone who's NOT a mom yet, hearing what has worked for this person and that person gives me insight into my own opinions.

Um, downs is caused by a chromosomal disorder and last time I checked vaccines don't change your chromosomes. I think you mean autism and that claim was scientifically debunked years ago. There is no scientific link between autism and vaccines.

Thanks O.O I'll edit the post.

I'm for vaccinations, but with some people so stuck that they can be damn near lethal for a child, it's an interesting topic to me.

Buuuuuut I'm pretty sure I'll vaccinate anyway, even though I'm one of those that hates pharmaceutical companies. I would rather have a healthy child, than be paranoid and have my LO get sick.

Kyselova · October 2013

jefa621 said:

Not that I mind giving my opinion about these things, I don't. But holy shit this thread should win "most controversial over-discussed topics in one thread" award.

Haha, that's fine. As someone who doesn't have a child at all, I can plan and plan, and still be completely ignorant on having a child until it happens. I think it'll be safe to say that all or most of my "opinions" or plans will go out the window when I'm faced with a screaming, pooping little human. All in one thread? Ehhhh, it's given me a whole picture on all those "controversial" topics from each person who's commented. They usually overlap on why someone does this and that. So it's cool to read what's worked for others in regards to these topics when they ARE faced with that screaming, pooping little angel of a baby, haha.
Plus, the bonus fact that even though they are all grouped in one thread, everyone on here is mature enough to not turn this into some kind of mommy war, like other posters have mentioned this can turn out to be. So award to the posters for that too? lol.
I see your point. I just answered in wayyyyy too many words. Done. Haha

ALHickok1 · October 2013

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- To each their own. I'm hoping to exclusively breast feed with #2. I tried with DS and just wasn't producing enough milk. I wish everyone would get through the colostrum part though as it does wonders for babies.

Spanking- I have no issue with a swat on the hand/butt if a situation calls for it. I'd much rather use a different form of punishment, As someone who was not spanked as a child, but rather just hit for any given reason, I will not spank my child while I am angry.

Alcohol- No, wouldn't try it and I would recommend it to anyone.

Bed-Sharing I'm fine with bed sharing. I did with DS on occasion, but it was a rare thing, and I felt safe doing it.

Attachment Parenting Styles Eh, not my style, but again to each their own.

The "Cry It Out" method It's something I do on a very rare occasion. It typically breaks my heart to hear DS cry. I'll let him go, but after x amount of time I go in and get him. I'd never condone it as a newborn though. At this age they need and want to be comforted.

Refusing to Vaccinate While part of me worries about vaccines and wonder if there is a chance they will hurt DS, he will still get all of them. I had all of my vaccines and I'm fine. The guilt I would feel if DS ever got something I could have prevented would eat me alive.

Breast Feeding In Public If I have a right to eat in public, so does my LO. I'll do so tastefully and with a cover. If you have a problem with it don't look, or you can go eat your lunch in the bathroom.

kenidikalamity · October 2013

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- I would never breast feed, so definitely pro-bottle

Spanking- Never. In my opinion, good parenting means you will never NEED to spank. By the time you deem your child old enough to hit, your child will know the consequences for misbehavior. My children can be afraid of going to time out, or afraid of getting privileges taken away, but it is not ok for them to be afraid that I will hit them.

Alcohol- I won't give a baby alcohol for teething of anything like that, but I would educate my teens about drinking, and allow them to consume a bit of alcohol. I feel that is alcohol is a normal part of daily life, it loses appeal as a forbidden fruit.

Bed-Sharing - Definitely not. I think children can quickly develop an unhealthy level of co dependance this way

Attachment Parenting Styles - This is just weird to me. All I can envision is kids growing up and living with mommy when they are 40

The "Cry It Out" method - I would make sure babies needs are met (diaper, feeding, temperature, etc) and then if he/she still feels like crying, then they can do it.

Refusing to Vaccinate - I will be vaccinating for only a few things.

Breast Feeding In Public - I am never going to BF so not for me. Every mall around me has nursing rooms, and it bothers me when mothers sit 10 ft away from it and whip out their boob. I don't think being a mother gives you a free pass to make everyone else around you uncomfortable, when an option is available. At the very least, use a blanket.

Kyselova · October 2013

kenidikalamity said:

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- I would never breast feed, so definitely pro-bottle
Spanking- Never. In my opinion, good parenting means you will never NEED to spank. By the time you deem your child old enough to hit, your child will know the consequences for misbehavior. My children can be afraid of going to time out, or afraid of getting privileges taken away, but it is not ok for them to be afraid that I will hit them.
Alcohol- I won't give a baby alcohol for teething of anything like that, but I would educate my teens about drinking, and allow them to consume a bit of alcohol. I feel that is alcohol is a normal part of daily life, it loses appeal as a forbidden fruit.
Bed-Sharing - Definitely not. I think children can quickly develop an unhealthy level of co dependance this way
Attachment Parenting Styles - This is just weird to me. All I can envision is kids growing up and living with mommy when they are 40
The "Cry It Out" method - I would make sure babies needs are met (diaper, feeding, temperature, etc) and then if he/she still feels like crying, then they can do it.
Refusing to Vaccinate - I will be vaccinating for only a few things.
Breast Feeding In Public - I am never going to BF so not for me. Every mall around me has nursing rooms, and it bothers me when mothers sit 10 ft away from it and whip out their boob. I don't think being a mother gives you a free pass to make everyone else around you uncomfortable, when an option is available. At the very least, use a blanket.

You definitely seem to have a kinda "independent mom" kinda view on things, which I'm sure will work fine for you

I really agree with your post about the alcohol ( a couple other posters made this point too). I will definitely be giving my kids at least wine in the home when they are older. In many countries, when kids ARE taught the correct way to drink (as a treat, not as a party means to black out with), they grow up with a much healthier respect for alcohol. I think our country, personally, has it completely backwards with alcohol. There is a taboo about letting children drink (even wine), it's legal at 21, but they can start driving at 16. That means, they learn to drive, and then suddenly are allowed to legally drink, go crazy with it (because it's a taboo thing they don't really know how to react to) and then accidents happen. I wish our country would do like others, and make drinking legal before they could learn to drive.

Hell, in countries like Spain, where they learn how to drink with their families, being drunk in public is something to be embarrassed over. Here, many people are seen as almost "cool".

Valancyy · October 2013

kenidikalamity said:

Breast Feeding In Public - I am never going to BF so not for me. Every mall around me has nursing rooms, and it bothers me when mothers sit 10 ft away from it and whip out their boob. I don't think being a mother gives you a free pass to make everyone else around you uncomfortable, when an option is available. At the very least, use a blanket.

When I breastfed in public it was not to make people feel uncomfortable, it was to feed my baby. Also, some babies don't like eating under a blanket (I wouldn't). I have used nursing areas, but sometimes I want to socialize with others and not "hide out" to feed my baby. Just my take on some of the things you mentioned.

Kyselova · October 2013

Valancyy said:

kenidikalamity said:

Breast Feeding In Public - I am never going to BF so not for me. Every mall around me has nursing rooms, and it bothers me when mothers sit 10 ft away from it and whip out their boob. I don't think being a mother gives you a free pass to make everyone else around you uncomfortable, when an option is available. At the very least, use a blanket.

When I breastfed in public it was not to make people feel uncomfortable, it was to feed my baby. Also, some babies don't like eating under a blanket (I wouldn't). I have used nursing areas, but sometimes I want to socialize with others and not "hide out" to feed my baby. Just my take on some of the things you mentioned.

That's actually not something I thought about. Yeah, yeah, my "mommy" ignorance comes out. In that case, release the titties!

Kyselova · October 2013

GhostMonkey said:

That didn't take long for the stupid to come out.

Valancyy did. Everyone's been awesome so far in not getting way too snarky over opinions, can we keep it that way please?

edit: clarification

[Deleted User] · October 2013

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Emerald27 · October 2013

I'll share my opinions. Why not?

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- (Assuming there are no issues producing milk/ latching for the mom [perfect world scenario])

This makes me sad. I understand that people have their reasons, but the connection and bonding between mother and baby when you nurse is amazing. I wouldn't want anyone to miss out (mama or baby), so I would love it if everyone at least tried!

Spanking- (We are not talking abuse, but an average "I warned you" spanking. Unless you see it as abuse regardles)

We don't spank DS. We try to "model the behavior we expect" from him. We expect him to control and channel anger appropriately, and we want to discipline in a manner that teaches him about his actions without making him fearful of us.

Alcohol- (Not "I'll let my kids get drunk in the house" alcohol. More, "Wanna get rid of that cold? Here's a tiny bit of whiskey")

I'm not into that stuff, but I do plan to make alcohol not a huge deal in our house by allowing small amounts when DS is older.

Bed-Sharing

We bedshare and love it! I'm all for the closeness. I don't think that in the grand scheme of things anyone will look back and wish they had snuggled less.

Attachment Parenting Styles

I am a big AP mom. I prefer gentle discipline, responding to baby's needs promptly, and respecting his needs and wants as an equal member of the household (which takes into account his total dependence upon us to meet those needs). I am an extended breastfeeder and I help moms in my area who struggle with breastfeeding.

The "Cry It Out" method

I think it's cruel and would never recommend it to anyone. Babies are establishing lifelong relationships of trust with their parents. CIO defeats a baby's spirit and teaches learned helplessness.

Refusing to Vaccinate

I vaccinate fully, but on an alternate schedule made by me and my doc. I didn't want so many at once.

Breast Feeding In Public

I nurse in public with no cover every day. It's discreet. Honestly, unless you're looking closely you wouldn't even think I was nursing.

I'm an advicate of normalizing breastfeeding. It isn't gross - it's how babies eat. Nursing in public not only normalizes breastfeeding but it gives other moms the confidence to nurse their babies as they need to.

I am so not ashamed.

Emerald27 · October 2013

@GhostMonkey I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I had trouble nursing DS at first (he had a lip tie and couldn't get a deep enough latch), but we were able to overcome those challenges, thank goodness!

@BobKat22 Sounds like you had it rough too! Were you able to see an IBCLC or breastfeeding counselor early on? Sometimes having an experienced person help can make a huge difference.

There are alternatives and additional methods of aiding nursing for mamas with flat and inverted nipples. If you would like more information, I'm glad to send you ladies some resources. They might prove helpful for baby 2.

momthatlifts · October 2013

snowflake91011 said:

JKBMA2014 said:

Bottle-feeding Exclusively- I will bottle feed my own breast, milk if the circumstance calls for it. Such as public places or if I were to leave baby with family for a date. If dh takes baby somewhere or is left with baby.
Spanking- yes. There are a lot of things I didn't do that I thought about doing as a kid because I. Knew I would get my ass whooped. I was even paddled in school.
Alcohol- no. I will be a new mommy and don't know how harmful it could be for baby except my own common sense. I would never forgive myself if I were to make it worse. Or harm my baby
Bed- this is a tough one. I would be soooo scared in smothering. Maybe nap time when it's just me and baby. But we will be getting a bassinet for the master room anyways so baby could sleep there. Or maybe sleep in bed with me while I'm awake watching tv or whatever
Attachment Parenting Styles
The "Cry It Out" method- not sure if this is much of a choice sometime so lol. From experience with my little sister, my parents used to turn the music up really loud in the car when she was start crying obnoxiously for no reason. Or for something we couldn't control. Never on public .
Refusing to Vaccinate- they were never made to hurt us, but to protect us. I will vaccinate.
Breast Feeding In Public- no, I know it makes people uncomfortable and the world doesn't need to stop just because I have a baby. Hence bottle feeding

If people are uncomfortable, they don't have to watch you feed your child.

Yes I understand and I have actually goven this a second thought. I guess I will see how comfortable I am when baby arrives. I've never done it before so I dont know how comfortable I would be to do it in public. I guess I look at it as say I'm at the mall, a very public place. You dont know what kind of sick people are walking around there. Who knows who could be watching you from a distance. Im thinking of the worst I guess. Not just about them, but also a lot about me and what I will feel comfortable doing.

momthatlifts · October 2013

Sorry for the bad quoting. I hate bumping from my phone

Emerald27 · October 2013

@funnibunni80 The world will become more accepting the more mamas are confident enough to nurse in public and support each other doing so.

Honestly, I feel like breastfeeding and modesty are two entirely separate notions: completely unrelated to one another. Using breasts for their biological purpose isn't gross or in any way "immodest". That just doesn't make sense to me!

I used to cover up in church (the only place I didn't really want to nurse without one because you're so close to strangers), and then I decided that 1. DS hated the cover and pulled it off anyway, and 2. The cover made me feel like I was trying to hide something so good or that I was ashamed of nursing. I didn't like either of those things.

Now there's no place I don't nurse. As I said, it's discreet. I wear a cami under my shirt, pull shirt up and cami down and baby head over boob...you really can't see anything.

The only looks I really get are when people are shocked to see a 2 year old nursing. That's still not as well accepted in western countries, despite the fact that the WHO recommends nursing to at least 2 years. Whatevs. We do what works for us.

kenidikalamity · October 2013

I know of course that I will be hated again for posting anything here since my opinions are different than the majority. I just think that there are some people who do not want to go to a public place and feel uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with the baby needing to eat, it has to do with seeing a random strangers boobs in the food court. Everyone has to pee but I don't walk up to the first plant I see and squat. It's natural to do so, but there are places to do these things for a reason. I am not saying let you baby starve when there is no breast feeding lounges available, I just think that it is strange to let your consideration of others go out the window the second you pop out a baby.

Emerald27 · October 2013

kenidikalamity said:
I know of course that I will be hated again for posting anything here since my opinions are different than the majority. I just think that there are some people who do not want to go to a public place and feel uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with the baby needing to eat, it has to do with seeing a random strangers boobs in the food court. Everyone has to pee but I don't walk up to the first plant I see and squat. It's natural to do so, but there are places to do these things for a reason. I am not saying let you baby starve when there is no breast feeding lounges available, I just think that it is strange to let your consideration of others go out the window the second you pop out a baby.

Ok, so polite folks go to the bathroom to pee. Where do you go to eat?

Valancyy · October 2013

kenidikalamity said:

I know of course that I will be hated again for posting anything here since my opinions are different than the majority. I just think that there are some people who do not want to go to a public place and feel uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with the baby needing to eat, it has to do with seeing a random strangers boobs in the food court. Everyone has to pee but I don't walk up to the first plant I see and squat. It's natural to do so, but there are places to do these things for a reason. I am not saying let you baby starve when there is no breast feeding lounges available, I just think that it is strange to let your consideration of others go out the window the second you pop out a baby.

You're not seeing boobs, you're seeing a baby's head and some skin, if that. You see more of boobs on the beach.

I just don't see how a mother breastfeeding a baby is inconsiderate.

kenidikalamity · October 2013

If I ate from a place I turn around and teach my children is a "private part" I would do it in private. I don't think a child drinking out of a bottle in public is strange, and I don't think eating off of a plate is either. But again just my opinion for my own life. If you want to breast feed, or heck, even run around naked, then so be it. Myself however, I would not do it because of my own feelings on what is courteous and what is not

Valancyy · October 2013

funnibunni80 said:

@funnibunni80 The world will become more accepting the more mamas are confident enough to nurse in public and support each other doing so. Honestly, I feel like breastfeeding and modesty are two entirely separate notions: completely unrelated to one another. Using breasts for their biological purpose isn't gross or in any way "immodest". That just doesn't make sense to me! I used to cover up in church (the only place I didn't really want to nurse without one because you're so close to strangers), and then I decided that 1. DS hated the cover and pulled it off anyway, and 2. The cover made me feel like I was trying to hide something so good or that I was ashamed of nursing. I didn't like either of those things. Now there's no place I don't nurse. As I said, it's discreet. I wear a cami under my shirt, pull shirt up and cami down and baby head over boob...you really can't see anything. The only looks I really get are when people are shocked to see a 2 year old nursing. That's still not as well accepted in western countries, despite the fact that the WHO recommends nursing to at least 2 years. Whatevs. We do what works for us.
I'm afraid of teeth, lol. My kids all self-weaned at 11-13 months. I was sad for that part of my life to end. I look forward to it most!!!

Oh yeah, I've been bit! Once I even had a small open sore on my nipple. Fun times. (Luckily he learned quickly that biting is bad).

hullabalou · October 2013

kenidikalamity said:
I know of course that I will be hated again for posting anything here since my opinions are different than the majority. I just think that there are some people who do not want to go to a public place and feel uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with the baby needing to eat, it has to do with seeing a random strangers boobs in the food court. Everyone has to pee but I don't walk up to the first plant I see and squat. It's natural to do so, but there are places to do these things for a reason. I am not saying let you baby starve when there is no breast feeding lounges available, I just think that it is strange to let your consideration of others go out the window the second you pop out a baby.

Babies do not understand the concept of waiting. Or "modesty". When babies have to pee, they do it in public. Hence diapers. When they are hungry, they should be able to eat. I hope to exclusively breast feed and I damn sure will never let my baby cry from hunger so people don't get offended by my boobs doing what they are biologically designed to to do.

Emerald27 · October 2013

@kenidikalamity

I want to know how this is gross:

Also, I'm thinking of buying this hat for the next baby. See you at the mall!

kenidikalamity · October 2013

Vaccinations are not required by law and therefore I do not believe I should be jailed. Not only that, but I am trying to get pregnant, and not yet a mother, so I do not have kids yet to "abuse" by keeping them unvaccinated. My personal feeling on this is that there is a lot of terrible chemicals in vaccinations, and to me, the risk of them outweighs the risk of my child getting tuberculosis in a society where it is all but extinct. Also, medicines and vaccinations get pulled off of the market so frequently because of the harm they do. To me, the risks are greater from the vaccinations than from the diseases themselves.

brownmouse · October 2013

I agree with many PPs that what works for my family won't necessarily work for another family, and honestly, though I have strong feelings about many of these subjects, I don't feel the need to share openly how we do things or how I feel about the things other parents might do because all that does is cause people to feel like I think they are doing something wrong, which I don't. Just because you do it differently than I do does not mean you are doing something wrong. Aside from causing harm to your child, obviously.

One thing I did want to ad though is my experience on the bottle vs. breast issue and nursing in public. Sometimes, babies won't take bottles. Like ever. We tried probably thirty types of bottles, and everything we could think of to get DD to take a bottle so I could have a break from breastfeeding, and she refused every single one. Not once in her entire baby-life did she take a bottle, and didn't really take a sippy cup much even as an older baby/child. She learned to drink out of an open cup early because she was not into sippy cups. I literally had no choice in the matter and it was between letting her starve, and giving up on the bottle issue. This often meant nursing in public, because sometimes, your baby needs to eat when you can't go to somewhere private. Not that I had any qualms with nursing in public, however. It's just a boob... not like we don't see them all over the place in the media and whatnot.

kenidikalamity · October 2013

I personally just think BF is gross to do, but I could care less about seeing it myself. Like I said my feeling are more about being considerate to others. And those discreet Camis are not really what I am talking about. I am more referring to people who basically take off their shirt in public. I am just saying that would definitely not be me

Valancyy · October 2013

kenidikalamity said:

Vaccinations are not required by law and therefore I do not believe I should be jailed. Not only that, but I am trying to get pregnant, and not yet a mother, so I do not have kids yet to "abuse" by keeping them unvaccinated. My personal feeling on this is that there is a lot of terrible chemicals in vaccinations, and to me, the risk of them outweighs the risk of my child getting tuberculosis in a society where it is all but extinct. Also, medicines and vaccinations get pulled off of the market so frequently because of the harm they do. To me, the risks are greater from the vaccinations than from the diseases themselves.

Wow. Really?

(Okay, I'm going to bed, and this thread has ended up just as I thought it would!)

Emerald27 · October 2013

kenidikalamity said:
I personally just think BF is gross to do, but I could care less about seeing it myself. Like I said my feeling are more about being considerate to others. And those discreet Camis are not really what I am talking about. I am more referring to people who basically take off their shirt in public. I am just saying that would definitely not be me

I know this is just your opinion, but I am legitimately curious: why do you think breastfeeding is gross? Is it some sort of shame for your body thing or just a "boobs are for sex" thing? I really don't understand how something so good and normal could be "gross".

Also, I work with nursing moms every day and see lots and lots of people breastfeeding. I've never seen someone remove their shirt in public to nurse. And even if you pull the top of your shirt down to nurse, the baby still covers most of your breast!

vrj0522 · October 2013

kenidikalamity said:

Vaccinations are not required by law and therefore I do not believe I should be jailed. Not only that, but I am trying to get pregnant, and not yet a mother, so I do not have kids yet to "abuse" by keeping them unvaccinated. My personal feeling on this is that there is a lot of terrible chemicals in vaccinations, and to me, the risk of them outweighs the risk of my child getting tuberculosis in a society where it is all but extinct. Also, medicines and vaccinations get pulled off of the market so frequently because of the harm they do. To me, the risks are greater from the vaccinations than from the diseases themselves.

People who think like you are the reason why there have been big outbreaks of tuberculosis, mumps, measles, etc in different parts of the US in the last few years.

My Ovulation Chart

brownmouse · October 2013

Emerald27 said:

I personally just think BF is gross to do, but I could care less about seeing it myself. Like I said my feeling are more about being considerate to others. And those discreet Camis are not really what I am talking about. I am more referring to people who basically take off their shirt in public. I am just saying that would definitely not be me
I know this is just your opinion, but I am legitimately curious: why do you think breastfeeding is gross? Is it some sort of shame for your body thing or just a "boobs are for sex" thing? I really don't understand how something so good and normal could be "gross". Also, I work with nursing moms every day and see lots and lots of people breastfeeding. I've never seen someone remove their shirt in public to nurse. And even if you pull the top of your shirt down to nurse, the baby still covers most of your breast!

I am wondering this too. I don't understand how it could possibly be gross to feed your child the way nature intended. I wonder how many mothers thought breastfeeding was gross before formula was invented. I hope the author of that comment doesn't drink milk or eat ANY dairy products (including cheese) because that is basically the same thing- though more "gross" because its not only breastmilk, but breastmilk from a difference species.

(I say this as someone who eats cheese and dairy but doesn't drink milk- though I used to, I just don't because almond milk is yummy and DD is allergic to milk.)

kenidikalamity · October 2013

It may be different where you live, but in the public schools here, you can submit a letter about your choice not to vaccinate and that is acceptable. I have a few friends who have done just that. As for the most recent vaccine taken off the market, I am not sure. I do know the original rotavirus vacc was taken off the market because it caused sever problems in infants. The current rotavirus vacc has also had warnings issued in 2007 because of the same thing. I am not saying you are wrong for vaccinating your kids, I am just saying that it is not my way of doing things

vrj0522 · October 2013

BobKat22 said:

@GhostMonkey I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I had trouble nursing DS at first (he had a lip tie and couldn't get a deep enough latch), but we were able to overcome those challenges, thank goodness! @BobKat22 Sounds like you had it rough too! Were you able to see an IBCLC or breastfeeding counselor early on? Sometimes having an experienced person help can make a huge difference. There are alternatives and additional methods of aiding nursing for mamas with flat and inverted nipples. If you would like more information, I'm glad to send you ladies some resources. They might prove helpful for baby 2.

I breastfed for 4 months and hated it all the way through. I even went to a nursing group at the hospital once a week and got help from different lactation consultants. I felt that breastmilk had too many benefits not to do it. I was kind of forced to stop by horrible "mommy hands" that I developed otherwise the torture would have continued. I loved the connection with my baby but I was a much better mom once we stopped, which actually made for a better connection. I think I became much more patient and better rested once we were done with it. It just isn't for everybody, unfortunately.

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