- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
February 2014 Moms
+ or - Half Baked Weight Update
This discussion has been closed.
Re: + or - Half Baked Weight Update
I'm not trying to control the goddamned bump. As I said in my previous post, go ahead and post what you want. No one can stop you.
I avoided this thread originally, not for my own issues, but because of the struggles I've seen friends go through. I knew this would upset me and remind me of how their struggles started. But then this thread exploded so I read it.
You know what? Congrats to those of you who shrugged off old weight issues and who are no longer bothered by the topic of pounds. Congrats to those of you who have never struggled with self image and never struggled with the number of pounds on the scale.
Now can you stop being all offended and thinking I'm being controlling and realize that MAYBE I'm not writing these posts for you, but for your fellow BMBers who have admitted in this goddamned thread that they're upset, when they weren't before? And for any lurkers who are upset? And for anyone who becomes upset in the future, even if they're just like you and have never, ever been insecure about weight before?
If you're feeling great, awesome for you. Glad you're healthy. Now stop whining about being controlled and recognize that if you're going to post these, you'd best at least pretend to hear that this could be a trigger and so there should at least be some freaking awareness, be it you guys looking out for each other or a "controlling" poster like me coming in and saying "hey, if you're struggling please talk to your doctor or send me a message or do something, don't wait around".
And there should be some recognition that the poster that suddenly starts struggling could be someone who has never had a single weight or self esteem issue in the past, so please be aware of that in yourself and others.
So basically, get over yourselves. Not every dissenting opinion is trying to control your right to free speech or whatever you want to call it.
Post what you want. But that means I get to shove my super "controlling" nose into these threads and ask that anyone struggling talk to their doctor and point out that the weight you gain has nothing to do with the health of your pregnancy, your ability to lose weight later, how "good" you are at being pregnant, how well you're taking care of yourself....
@rondackhiker, I get that some people are upset by this. That wasn't my point. My point was that every post has the potential to be upsetting to some members. I wasn't saying, yippee, I'm ok with my weight this is all about me. MANY topics should be directed back to our doctors. MANY. But we come here to ask questions and for support. To some of us, those questions and support and different. Do you not see the correlation this post and HDBD? A picture tells a thousand words. Also, I was not calling you controlling personally, that was a general comment about the direction of this board. Sorry if that want clear.
ETA, let me be clear, when I say I have never have weight issues, I mean psychological issues. I have always struggled with the scale. I was about 10 lbs above a healthy BMI pre-pregnancy. I have come to terms that as long as I am healthy I will be happy. With that being said, my goal is to maintain a healthy weight gain, hence my being curious where others stand at the halfway mark. I would not be comparing my own gain to theirs.
The difference between HDBD was explained earlier. One, a photo has context. You can see how the poster looks and none of them are held up as the ideal. Since every single mom in every single pregnancy shows completely differently, it's not that easy to come up with an "average" and what most people look like. You'll see people with big and little bumps and differently shaped bumps and so on. It could be upsetting to someone, but a photo of a bump gives less to obsess over. You can't will your bump to a certain size or shape.
But the number associated with weight give really nice ranges and averages and are something to focus on. Every single friend I've had with an eating disorder would look at the mirror and photos of thin women, yes... But they say they obsessed over the pounds. The number gives you goals and a very clear idea of how you're doing.
And, yes, there could be any post that is upsetting, but since worries about weight have been so strongly linked to PPD, this has more potential than discussions about morning sickness or kick counts or frequency of peeing. So if someone is upset, I hope they will keep an eye on their mood and talk to their doctor if the feeling lingers.
Ditto! Or how much salt I have had lol no joke one salty meal can put + 5-7lbs! Anyways I'm up 8lbs.... Bummed cuz my nausea is what kept it in my eyes low... W my last 4 I was up 18-20 by now
I've been keeping my mouth shut on this post, and am still not going to go far, but will say that it seems weight for women is like politics and religion. Personally I love talking religion and politics, and other tabu subjects, but not everyone feels that way. I respect both participating in those types of discussions and not, but feel there should be room for all subjects to be discussed. I agree that all three (and others) are very touchy and personal.
I think the subject of weight gain/body issues is interesting, and in many ways necessary and helpful, for many pregnant ladies to broach. We can feel very alone in this, and doctors don't always give support nor too many guidelines, unless you are completely off track.
Mentally I know I'm on track but emotionally, I still have body issues. Personally, I need to face the numbers increasing in a safe zone. I'm up 14 lbs, 22wks tomorrow, and was slender-borderline skinny to begin with.
Sorry this is long winded - I just hope every woman finds what they are looking for on feb14 board.
www.theclothmenagerie.com
Whoops, my computer is acting wonky!
AGREED!
www.theclothmenagerie.com
I think because we talk about our vag and our cervix and all kinds of bodily fluids on this board, weight is not the most shocking of topics.
I think because we talk about our vag and our cervix and all kinds of bodily fluids on this board, weight is not the most shocking of topics.
Please read the thread.
And then if you're going to repeat the "talking about weight isn't bad" thought, please at least acknowledge the posters who are hurting here.
But first, read the god damned thread.
*aims grenade launcher*
My life, my love, my boys
DS: Liam born 8.30.10 at 35 wks (PPROM, Pre-E, C-Section)
DD: BFP 6.9.13, EDD 2.12.14, A/S 9.20.13... It's a Girl!
Adeline Leigh born sleeping 2.11.14 at 39 wks 6 days
How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon our hearts. - Dorothy Ferguson
Because the issue was never that weight was shocking. Since you've read the thread now you know that people protested this thread not because we're shocked by it but because it can cause really unhealthy feelings and that it DID hurt several women.