"You're SOOOOOOOO big." (Venting)

nlane0723 · October 2013

Yes, that just happened. I've regretted hiring this assistant since about the 5th day when I realized she didn't know anything. She just said I was "soooooo big" and asked me if liked it. Thanks, bitch, I already had a hormonal, wardrobe infused breakdown because my last pair of pre-pregnancy jeans wouldn't button this morning. Now, I feel extra stabby and heiferous (I'm 19w2d). Sorry for venting, but I've been stewing in my office. I'm sure this isn't the first time I'm going to hear ignorant comments, but I'm curious to know how y'all handle ignorant comments in the workplace (or in general). Would you have stabbed her (jk), punched her (also, jk) called her out on her ignorant comment, or just let it go? One of the female attorneys looked at her like she was a moron, I just said "ummm, thanks" and walked away.

Mcsweets · October 2013

DH tells me how big I am all the time. He also likes to remind me how "huge I'm going to be". But, he does also put the bio oil on my belly for me which is totally relaxing

Maybe ask her to oil your belly lol that should stop her comments!!!

rockopera · October 2013

I would just say "Nope. Not cool." and then tell her that is a terrible thing to say to someone, pregnant or not, when she starts to backpedal. Seriously, call her out on the stupid shit.

tsmith312 · October 2013

I haven't had anyone tell me im big yet, HOWEVER I did have to go maternity jean shopping this past weekend bc my last pre prego pants wont fit. I usually have a break down a few times a week bc I feel like nothing looks good on me anymore !

clo1982 · October 2013

I got one last week..I was told I was waddling which was then followed up with 'it's because your hips are spreading.' awesome. I just said 'that's a terrible thing to say to someone.' I went into a bit more detail about how regardless of the situation, it just isn't nice and not flattering. It seemed to get the point across. Not sure about your exact situation but I honestly think some people feel like these insults are things we should be happy about...like you should be thrilled that you are getting 'huge' and I should be over the moon about my supposed waddling. People just don't think.

nlane0723 · October 2013

Mcsweets said:
DH tells me how big I am all the time. He also likes to remind me how "huge I'm going to be". But, he does also put the bio oil on my belly for me which is totally relaxing Maybe ask her to oil your belly lol that should stop her comments!!!

Hahaha! Great idea. Maybe I'll make her rub my feet too.

nlane0723 · October 2013

Thanks, ladies! I honestly don't even feel like I'm that big yet. In fact, until today, I felt great. I felt huge in the beginning, but I was super bloated from the IVF drugs and progesterone. I'm sure this won't be the first time something ignorant comes out of her mouth so I'll be sure to call her out on it next time.

fish8412 · October 2013

That is such a rude comment!!!!!!! She is especially an idiot saying that because she is your assistant.

fish8412 · October 2013

Not sure if any of you would find this Bon Qui Qui video funny, but I love it. I think of it whenever someone is RUDE. Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M

Babykawash · October 2013

I get it all the time "wow you're so big for X weeks". I sware I might flip on the next person that says it....

PerkyErky · October 2013

I would've slapped her and then said "oops sorry, these hormones make me crazy!"

Npironi · October 2013

I dont take offense when people make comments about my size..ya of course im big im growing a healthy human!

PinupMomma08 · October 2013

My go to thing to say is "that's an interesting thing to say to a pregnant woman". *Long Blank Stare*

Kate428 · October 2013

haha @ McSweets - My DH makes the same kind of comments to me too! (Having twins as well). They just make me laugh because we have a teasing relationship.

Now if anyone else made a remark about me being large I would be super mad!

YankeePeach08 · October 2013

this is when you get to use the response, "Well I'm 5 months pregnant, what's your excuse?"

Hdhtk4 · October 2013

Yesterday my cousin said, "Are you sure you're only 16 weeks?" And then, "Well that's going to be one big baby!" I felt like slapping her or at least telling her off, but we were at a funeral so I didn't think that was appropriate.

So I feel your anger! Unfortunately we'll probably hear more ignorant & insensitive comments before we give birth.

Missfunball · October 2013

sounds like its time for a new assistant. Not capable and rude? No thank you!

nlane0723 · October 2013

Hopefully, she will just quit. I'm not the easiest person to work for, I'm a perfectionist, and I expect nothing less than the best, which frankly isn't unexpected given that this is a national law firm and we represent big corporations. She doesn't know ANYTHING, has never worked in Excel, fails to proofread, and throws herself at the managing, MARRIED, attorney. She's a real winner. I'll attribute her asinine comment to her immaturity. If I hadn't been so desperate for help, I wouldn't have hired her.

snsnyder1 · October 2013

I have opposite problem that it sounds like most of you have. When I finally started to show I was soooo excited! Then I had people tell me I didn't look pregnant or that it wasnt the baby just a little belly. Seriously? I had a six pack before I got pregnant! I live looking pregnant and I hate it when people tell me I'm not showing. It's my body, I know it better than you do!

saisongbird · October 2013

Did she lie on her resume? She sounds completely incompetent for the job. So, incompetent and disrespect behavior? I don't know if that's worth keeping. It sounds like you're going to end up doing her job FOR her!

dh79 · October 2013

When I was 20 weeks pregnant with DD, the hubby and I went on a little babymoon. I was having a complicated pregnancy, so I was much larger than I am this time around. A woman came up to me and said "You are going to have a baby soon!" I said, "No, actually I am only halfway through." Then she said, "Oh, you must be having twins!" I said no, just one . I laughed it off. My husband wanted to punch her in the throat repeatedly. Not sure when it became acceptable to comment on a stranger's size. My hubby can talk about how big I am whenever he wants, because he says it adoringly.

KTdid81 · October 2013

My husband tells me "oooh honey your belly is really sticking out". So I retort right back, "well so is yours".

nlane0723 · October 2013

saisongbird said:
Did she lie on her resume? She sounds completely incompetent for the job. So, incompetent and disrespect behavior? I don't know if that's worth keeping. It sounds like you're going to end up doing her job FOR her!

Yes, I believe she did. Unfortunately, my boss/managing attorney LOVES the attention she gives him and, despite my repeated complaints, refuses to do anything about it.

SassyFlats · October 2013

I actually AM showing more than most women do at 19 w.... Especially for a FTM. Only one person has actually commented on my size, asking if I'm "sure" I'm due in March and saying I won't make it that long. I know I have a ginormous bump. I'm okay with that. I look pregnant because I AM PREGNANT. Stupid people need to stfu.

kristynachicago · October 2013

ugh, what an insensitive thing to say!

i had a co-worker start talking to me about my belly jiggle (yes, that's what she called it) and i immediately stopped her and said "not cool," just as suggested by @rockopera..it at least shut her up for the moment.

karacakes98 · October 2013

I'm 19w2d as well and had to endure similar comments from my grandma over the weekend. She thinks I'm huge and says she was NEVER so big this early and blah blah blah. I'm halfway through already and this is my third! Of course I'm showing!

Andreabills · October 2013

I told my students today and I had a sixth grade SPED student tell me "I thought you were growing!" I laughed because she totally didn't mean to be rude, but I think I definitely would have called an adult out if they had said something like that!

kiwimommy429 · October 2013

Devil's advocate here...

I think we need to remember what it's like for those that are not pregnant and have never been pregnant. Most are afraid to say anything or don't know what to say to a pregnant woman. And when they do, it usually comes out wrong or they may truly not realize how it sounds to the pregnant woman. Most that do say "you're so big", "you're getting big" etc do not mean it in a negative way and don't realize it could hurt their feelings. As mentioned, it's just ignorance. I say this just from my POV and experience. I typically just kept my mouth shut. It's always hard to not say something! So I know those that do end up saying something don't really think through what they are saying. I hope this makes sense...

P.S. I'm NOT saying that you shouldn't be offended or that you should just shrug it off. Just giving a different perspective.

Another thing, I'm not really sure how to take her asking if you liked it? lol That doesn't make sense and I can definitely see how it would just make it seem even more offensive.

mhilpisch10 · October 2013

snsnyder1 said:
I have opposite problem that it sounds like most of you have. When I finally started to show I was soooo excited! Then I had people tell me I didn't look pregnant or that it wasnt the baby just a little belly. Seriously? I had a six pack before I got pregnant! I live looking pregnant and I hate it when people tell me I'm not showing. It's my body, I know it better than you do!

I know this is what is happening to me! I just want someone to notice. It kind of makes me sad. They will be like "ya you aren't big at all yet. I don't even think you are showing at all" I feel like they are trying to make themselves feel better if they look similar to how I look now. But I have always been a shrimp so i seem so much wider from the side now! I know I am going to get much bigger people. Can't you just show a little excitement at what I've got?

rockopera · October 2013

kristynachicago said:
ugh, what an insensitive thing to say!

i had a co-worker start talking to me about my belly jiggle (yes, that's what she called it) and i immediately stopped her and said "not cool," just as suggested by @rockopera..it at least shut her up for the moment.

It totally works!!!

Momstheword83 · October 2013

I'm starting to get a complex about my bump. Every time I go to work at my bar tending job I get a rude comment and snickers about my weight. I almost started crying this evening because it was comment after comment. I told them how rude they were being but it still hurts. Some people just don't have filters anymore.

PinupMomma08 · October 2013

^^^ rude!!! I'm so sorry

novasouthanblond · October 2013

Well, I AM really huge for 18 weeks, but I totally own it. Next time she says something pissy, fire her. (sorry, I'm having a hormonal night too).

lopezalonso · October 2013

I really think that people make the worst comments with the best intentions. I bet she thought that saying that was some sort of twisted compliment. My mom makes these kinds of social faux pas all the time. I'm always face palming myself and trying to tell her why she shouldn't say what she just said. Last week she asked a cashier at Kohl's how fall along she was. When the cashier replied that she was five months along my mom stated, "Wow! You're really big! My daughter is four and half months and you can't even tell." AHHHHH, how embarrassing! I would have died if I was present. Some people will never learn.

nlane0723 · October 2013

She probably didn't say it to intentionally piss me off/hurt my feelings, but I already had a bad morning when I couldn't fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. I wish people would think before they spoke, but this isn't a fantasy world and I've regretted things that have come out of my mouth in the past too. Hopefully, my coworkers look of disgust made her regret what she said. If not, I'll have a sweet little response next time. I'm sure all of you ladies look fantastic! Post those bumps tomorrow!

Khope87 · October 2013

I like having a bump already

it's not huge, but definitely getting there (IMO). I've had both 'you're huge' and 'you're tiny' comments.... Can't win! I do love it though when my husband notices it's growing - he says it so carefully and with so much love you can tell he is over the moon I'm getting bigger because it's his very own LO! Love love love my husband noticing in this way! He jokes every now and again about it, but the more serious times he mentions it makes me realise his true feelings and he's just as excited for a bump as I am (I know I will regret loving an early bump later when I can't see my feet haha!)

Excitedmum35 · October 2013

My sister used to get really stressed when ppl told her she wasn't very big- it made her worry there was something wrong with the baby. We were pregnant at the same time- she looked awesome- skinny lady with small basketball bump and I looked a little like jabba the hut!!!!

ndpoole · October 2013

I've been showing for several weeks now and I'm a first time mom (18 weeks) today. When I was 14 weeks and heard "Are you sure you're not having twins?", I decided to no longer provide any info on how many weeks I am. I simply state how far along I am in months. Most of the ignoramuses don't feel like doing the math, so that prevents anything further.

lillybelle30 · October 2013

I haven't had anyone rudely call me big yet but people have compared me to other women who are much further along than me (such as "you're about the same size as my daughter-in-law who is 6 months" along type of thing). I just let them know that this is my 6th pregnancy so my body expanded quicker than first time moms.

mamamia866 · October 2013

schlanderer2005 said:
Hopefully, she will just quit. I'm not the easiest person to work for, I'm a perfectionist, and I expect nothing less than the best, which frankly isn't unexpected given that this is a national law firm and we represent big corporations. She doesn't know ANYTHING, has never worked in Excel, fails to proofread, and throws herself at the managing, MARRIED, attorney. She's a real winner. I'll attribute her asinine comment to her immaturity. If I hadn't been so desperate for help, I wouldn't have hired her.

I would start searching for a new assistant. With 5 months left to go, I'm sure this will not be the last time she speaks without thinking.

mamamia866 · October 2013

snsnyder1 said:
I have opposite problem that it sounds like most of you have. When I finally started to show I was soooo excited! Then I had people tell me I didn't look pregnant or that it wasnt the baby just a little belly. Seriously? I had a six pack before I got pregnant! I live looking pregnant and I hate it when people tell me I'm not showing. It's my body, I know it better than you do!

No six pack here but the same thing happened to me. I got quite a few comments at work about being small for 5 months (I am a FTM) and then my supervisor had the gall to tell me I was only 15 weeks. Nope, I don't know what kind of math you're doing, but if one is pregnant for 40 weeks (not 36) and I am due in march, I'm pretty sure I know that I am 5 months along. I also think my doc would tell me if I'm 4 weeks off. C*nt.

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"You're SOOOOOOOO big." (Venting)

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Married : 09/09/2011 BFP : 07-18-13 Baby #1 is a GIRL , Born 03/12/14

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"You're SOOOOOOOO big." (Venting)

Re: &quot;You&#039;re SOOOOOOOO big.&quot; (Venting)

Married : ** 09/09/2011 ** BFP : 07-18-13 ** Baby #1 is a GIRL , Born 03/12/14 **

** BFP 2 : 01- 05-15 ** EDD 09-11-15 **

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Re: "You're SOOOOOOOO big." (Venting)

Married : 09/09/2011 BFP : 07-18-13 Baby #1 is a GIRL , Born 03/12/14

BFP 2 : 01- 05-15 EDD 09-11-15 **