Personal defects

RNbock2 · October 2013

I was lurking on September 13, and saw this thread.
My personal defect: I canon pretend to like someone. If I don't like someone, I can act respectful/cordial, but not "friendly".

Also, I do not travel well. I always get stomach upset, anxiety, etc.

You??

brandyleighxx · October 2013

To be on par with my discussion I just posted, my personal defect seems to be making friends. I have tried like hell to connect with other females the last few years and always come up short handed. I don't get it. I'm a pretty nice gal, I can be a ton of fun, I don't come with baggage or drama, and it takes a lot to offend me. My husband started a new job this year and has made several friends with co-workers. I've met every single one of their wives and not one of them has responded to me reaching out. I moved far away from family/friends several years ago and feel like I have no one.

BatDaughter4Eva · October 2013

It's too easy for me to let people walk out of my life. I pretty much never talk to extended family (except on fb), and if people don't put effort into a friendship, I just stop talking to them, and let it die. In the past, break ups were so easy for me because i can so easily become detached.

rp-chicago-mom · October 2013

I never trust people actually like me when they say they do. People try to be my friend and I always miss the cues like an idiot and then I'm like, "Ohhhhh...I just thought they were bored..."

amaite · October 2013

Too many to list!

binklesss · October 2013

Gee... I feel like I have just about all that have been listed! (Except maybe the ones in the OP.)

chefnicole22 · October 2013

I'm really awkward when I meet new people. I don't know what to say or what to do with my hands and I feel like I'm standing in a weird way. I can only seem to make friends at work, where I'm busy doing a few things at once, so I don't have a chance to be awkward.

mmknightly · October 2013

I'm a sucker for fixer upper men. Every time I end up building them up while sacrificing my own well being in the process. This is why I don't want to date ever again. Or maybe I should just let my mom pick my next husband, like she's always wanted!

AmySmolos · October 2013

I have a lot. I'm assertive with my job but I don't think I am when it comes to sticking up for myself in my personal life. And as others have said I suck at making real friends. I think I can get along with most people but to have a person to call and just go shopping with it grab a drink is limited. I don't know why. I try but after so many plans that never happen I just call it quits. There's only so much rejection I can take I guess.

MoFree · October 2013

I am a very serious person and not very comfortable or very good at small talk. I also have a hard time letting go of hurt and not taking things personally.

jodegaard · October 2013

I'm like you, @RNbock2. With people I don't like, I can't be friendly. Respectful, sure, but I just get very quiet.

twoitalians · October 2013

I dwell on the past waaaay too much. So much that sometimes it is hard for me to move forward.

NeneCakies · October 2013

Perhaps it's clear why we thrive in a virtual environment! I'm with you ladies, too self conscious to pursue friendships. Too many times I think I've made a connection and got thrown over for someone in a cooler clique.

I also keep sappy feelings at bay and was led to believe I wasn't empathetic enough to be maternal. Glad that wasn't true!

AggieDaner · October 2013

All of these problems are also my problems, and on top of that I am afraid that if I don't make people laugh all the time then it means they hate me. So like, someone doesn't laugh at my joke and I go into an absurd spiral of self doubt. I'm really glad people can't see inside my head, they'd pass out if they knew how exhaustingly high maintenance I really am.

(Spell check is telling me that exhaustingly isn't a word but I DO WHAT I WANT)

BluepointToasted · October 2013

I have resting bitch face, coupled with the fact that I HATE being phony, means that sometimes I don't make a great first impression. I am also pretty insecure sometimes. Like, 75% of the time I am confident, but that other 25% I am a friggen mess.

rainedrops117 · October 2013

As I've gotten older I've gotten really self cautious about not being the "outstanding" one in a group. Growing up I was kind of the "star" student/employee now I'm just blah and it's messed with my psyche. I worry way too much what others think of my work. I know that sounds really shallow, but it's sadly true.

TechieGirl1 · October 2013

amaite said:
Too many to list!

I feel this way too about myself!

Jessica Swanlake · October 2013

I am cripplingly shy. I have a horrible time talking to people I don't know well. Parties, school events, they all terrify me. Speaking at conferences or meetings, which I do a few times a year in an effort to get over my fear, puts me into a state of physical distress.

Most people I know don't realize my defect, or at least how extreme it is, because once I am comfortable with a them I am chatty and pretty fun. Getting there is a struggle.

fastcarsandfreedom3319 · October 2013

I let people walk all over me and then hold silent resentment against them.

mmknightly · October 2013

It's amazing to me that I only picked one of my "defects," but I share so many of these other ones people have mentioned. Super defective over here!

LindsayDesigner · October 2013

I'm hard on other people but I'm even harder on myself. It's been difficult to ease up but I'm working on it.

CrazyDaisy8 · October 2013

I want friends more than anything so I sometimes over compensate and by doing so push people away. I just want to be liked, damn it!

vvvvvfee · October 2013

BluepointToasted said:

I have resting bitch face, coupled with the fact that I HATE being phony, means that sometimes I don't make a great first impression.

this exactly!

jillybean7582 · October 2013

LindsayDesigner said:
I'm hard on other people but I'm even harder on myself. It's been difficult to ease up but I'm working on it.

This is me too. I am wat to Type A for my own good. It causes me to stress out about things way too much.

sdlaura · October 2013

I have a tendency to be a know-it-all/bossy/controlling. I try to be self-aware about it and have definitely learned to go with the flow more since I've had a baby.

alrighthamilton · October 2013

Oh, I have several. The worst of which is being impatient. My second worse is my inability to compromise.

alrighthamilton · October 2013

BatDaughter4Eva said:

It's too easy for me to let people walk out of my life. I pretty much never talk to extended family (except on fb), and if people don't put effort into a friendship, I just stop talking to them, and let it die. In the past, break ups were so easy for me because i can so easily become detached.

This is me too. I think it comes from being left by people I was close to at a young age.

piphigirl · October 2013

I hold myself to super high standards and therefore do the same for other people.

My old school leader was always like, "Yes, but that's YOU. You can't expect everyone else do do _____."

zbeesma86 · October 2013

I can take things WAY too personally at times.

BluepointToasted · October 2013

So, for those of you who want to make friends but feel they overcompensate (@CrazyDaisy8) and then push people away, what do you think people should do to get you to slow down a bit without writing you off completely? I find often I will begin a friendship with someone, and then they come on way too strong. At this point I tend to back off to the point of ingnoring until they give up. I am thinking of a couple instance in the past few years. These are genuinely nice people, but they have smothered me way too much in the beginning. What can I do to get them to relax, be themselves, and stop trying so hard? I end up feeling badly that it didn't work out, but it is too much for me.

NeneCakies · October 2013

Sharona1700 said:
Defects? I'm like Mary Poppins...

Can we switch to personal affirmations now? My defective semi friendless self is wallowing.

binklesss · October 2013

L12541 said:
I have a tendency to be a know-it-all/bossy/controlling. I try to be self-aware about it and have definitely learned to go with the flow more since I've had a baby.

Oh, geez. I am SO bad about this. I correct people all the time and it drives DH and my friends crazy.

JayandEmm · October 2013

I'm extremely shy, socially awkward, a perfectionist, non empathetic, up tight. There's probably more. I'm as Type A as they come.

CourtneyEeps · October 2013

Alot of what others have said. I'm incredibly impatient and I tend to overthink everything. I'm also pretty relentless in an argument...

Don't I sound fun??

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