No Epidural

mrsdchastain · October 2013

I don't want to have an epidural with this baby if I can avoid it. I feel it's personal decision. I go through a list of reasons at my blog here:
https://www.nannytomommy.com/2013/10/why-i-want-drug-free-birth.html

But the main reasons are I don't want to have any risk of back spasms & I want to prove it to myself. My sister-in-law is an RN and asked me, "Why would you go through the pain if you don't have to?" When I explained my position, she said back spasms are just a side effect, but I should have said, "Why would I go through that pain when I don't have to?" I am so tired of how I am choosing to labor be anyone's else's problem.

I had an epidural with my daughter and don't regret it at all. That was the decision I made for myself without anyone else's influence leading me either way. Why do people feel they need to choose your labor for you? Anyone else having issues with family/friends like this?

HappyWife01 · October 2013

I wouldn't mind trying for a med free birth but I know not to tell anyone about it because I don't want to hear the comments about my labor. If they ask if I plan on getting an epi I just say I'm going to not have one for as long as I can.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time with some family members.

teaforthree · October 2013

I agree with PPs. Also, if it's possible not to talk about it, the better. No need to hear negative comments from others. Then, when the labor is done, you can tell people you did it drug-free if they ask.

BabiesFTW · October 2013

Stop telling everyone then.

fish8412 · October 2013

Just tell people it is your body. Everyone is full of opinions, some we agree with and some we do not. Unfortunately a lot of people don't know when to keep their mouths closed.

mhilpisch10 · October 2013

I'm not even having an ultra sound. People think I'm crazy! Whatever, I made my decision and I'm sticking to it. Everyone knows I'm all natural so they don't give me grief about it. Try not to get worked up about it. You don't have to have a million reasons why you don't want to have an epidural, you just don't want one. If people don't understand that just change the subject.

KariB509 · October 2013

Ugh. It's silly that anyone would try to convince someone to have or not have an epidural. What does it matter to them? If you don't want to have an epidural, that's your choice. Do whatever you want to do!

Linnea503 · October 2013

I think if you are going to be very outspoken about your choices and go as far as writing and promoting a blog post about it, you are inviting the feedback.

I would never talk about my labor plans with anyone unless I was genuinely interested in their opinion or experiences.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

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[Deleted User] · October 2013

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JAck5209 · October 2013

I tell people my med free plan if they specifically ask but otherwise stay quiet. It was the same with my first. I didn't really care for other people's opinions because I had my mind set on a specific experience.

kelley72 · October 2013

I make choices based on my experience, research, priorities- not others.

BrideNamedMeg · October 2013

I actually like talking to people about my choice to go med free as well as have home births. In our society it's so far out of the norm that it doesn't bother me if I get weird/negative feedback (which is unusual for me), but I think there is something to be gained by normalizing med free births. I was glad that other people shared their experiences with me making it seem possible.

I think as long as you don't come off superior or judgy then people respond pretty well overall. But I don't think you can expect someone who is in the medical industry and just surrounded by it constantly to understand the desire to go med free.

mrsdchastain · October 2013

I wrote that post in order to try & explain myself. The first paragraph explains why I wrote it. I shared it here so it would be easier to explain my POV. I never have come straight out & said I was having a med free birth. I wrote that after criticisms from people who originally asked in the first place. Just thought I would throw that out there. I feel like they shouldn't ask if they may not like the answer.

VineyardMel · October 2013

TallAsh said:

mhilpisch10 said:
I'm not even having an ultra sound. People think I'm crazy! Whatever, I made my decision and I'm sticking to it. Everyone knows I'm all natural so they don't give me grief about it. Try not to get worked up about it. You don't have to have a million reasons why you don't want to have an epidural, you just don't want one. If people don't understand that just change the subject.
I think you're crazy. I'm quite the hippie for an ICU nurse--my plan is to have a med free birth at a free-standing birth center--but I don't understand why you wouldn't have a diagnostic ultrasound.

I work with a lot of babies who have congenital heart defects, and the ones who are prenatally diagnosed have better outcomes. They get the meds and interventions needed BEFORE they crash and people are scrambling to resuscitate them and figure out what is wrong.

Yep. Whether or not to have an epi is all about the mother. Declining standard prenatal care is about the baby and I find it completely irresponsible. Are you having a GTT or GSB test?

coreyeliz · October 2013

I haven't even decided what I'm going to do yet, but my mom keeps telling me how perfect my sister's way was and how she doesn't understand why anyone would do anything else if they didn't have to. I love my mom, but it makes me crazy. It's like, if I make any other choice I know she's going to be so judgmental even if she doesn't come right out and tell me.

huskymomma94 · October 2013

mhilpisch10 said:

I'm not even having an ultra sound. People think I'm crazy! Whatever, I made my decision and I'm sticking to it. Everyone knows I'm all natural so they don't give me grief about it. Try not to get worked up about it. You don't have to have a million reasons why you don't want to have an epidural, you just don't want one. If people don't understand that just change the subject.

No epidural = cool,labor however you want

No ultrasounds = idiotic

mhilpisch10 · October 2013

Haha see everyone thinks I'm crazy. I've been raised in an upper cervical chiropractic family. I have never even had a shot in my life of any kind and I haven't gotten any kind of sickness in about ..2 years I think. Even if they did find something in the ultrasound I don't know if I would take any medications. IF my baby has a health issue when he/ she is born than we will deal with it in the most natural way possible then. But until then I place all my trust In God and pray that everything is going as it should be. Judge away, so far every test for this pregnancy has been perfect. I'm not worried.

mhilpisch10 · October 2013

I did everything I was required to and everything has come back great. My midwife said its not a problem and not necessary.

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avigailandcharlie · October 2013

TallAsh said:

Haha see everyone thinks I'm crazy. I've been raised in an upper cervical chiropractic family. I have never even had a shot in my life of any kind and I haven't gotten any kind of sickness in about ..2 years I think. Even if they did find something in the ultrasound I don't know if I would take any medications. IF my baby has a health issue when he/ she is born than we will deal with it in the most natural way possible then. But until then I place all my trust In God and pray that everything is going as it should be. Judge away, so far every test for this pregnancy has been perfect. I'm not worried.
Ha ha ha...aren't you precious. A congenital heart defect would not show up on any test, other than an ultrasound or fetal echocardiogram. It's not about YOU taking medications or whether YOU are vaccinated or whether YOU have been sick or not. A heart defect can happen to any baby, regardless of mom's past medical history. Knowing whether or not your baby has, say, a single ventricle, would alert you that you need a medical team on hand to start meds that will keep your baby alive after he/she is born. Do you get what I'm saying when I said crash in the previous post? I meant die. Be dead. Like, baby is there, and no one knows her little heart is messed up, but she starts looking shitty, and then she's dead. And hopefully there's a medical someone who can do chest compressions and give emergency meds and get the baby's heart beating again, but wouldn't it be awesome if you could avoid all that by giving her some simple medications before she crashes (<---that means dies)? I'm not saying your kid will have a heart defect, but I think it's great that we have non-invasive ultrasounds so we either know, "oh yeah, low risk, go for the home birth/birth center birth," or, "Heyo, this kid has a single ventricle heart/diaphragmatic hernia/some other anatomical anomaly that will require modern medicine to keep the kid alive." You're not going to treat any of those conditions with herbs or homeopathic remedies. I just... I can't. But stop laughing and acting like you're adorable. You seem very uneducated on the entire purpose of the anatomy scan.

Well said. SHe left me speechless, so thank you for speaking for the rest of us lol.

SassyFlats · October 2013

I'm planning to try an unmedicated birth. I've started doing research and talking to my doctor and my husband about it. I've enrolled in a Lamaze class for later in my pregnancy and started prenatal yoga to help with relaxation and getting in tune with my body.

But I don't talk about it with anyone except my OB and DH. That way no one has the opportunity to judge. I get enough comments when people ask if we're having a boy or girl and I say we'll find out when he or she is born. I don't need any negativity about my birth plan. So I don't discuss it.

myfriendscallmemeg · October 2013

It's personal. If you're insecure in your decision, that's on you. I am totally all for medicated or un-medicated births. Personally, I'm getting en epi. I am not in great physical shape, and I feel like if I was I would definitely at least try to go un-medicated. But for all the people who are nosy (small town living) and ask if my newly certified midwife mom is delivering my baby (including the UPS guy..WTF) I give the answer of having 12 lb babies run in my family. That's not worth the risk. Laugh it off. And get on with my the conversation.

rockopera · October 2013

Oh, you're one if those.

Yeah, pretty sure you get pushback IRL because you are outspoken, and likely come off as judgmental, about your non-mainstream (and seemingly uneducated) beliefs. Really, your biggest reason is "back spasms"? But you've "never had a shot in your life?" Okay.

Keep it to yourself if you don't want opinions. But you know what opinions you'll get, and you put it out there anyway.

edit: confused two posters. my bad.

SassyFlats · October 2013

@rockopera OP is not the person who has never had a shot in her life... that's someone else in the thread. OP has had an epidural before.

rockopera · October 2013

SassyFlats said:

@rockopera OP is not the person who has never had a shot in her life... that's someone else in the thread. OP has had an epidural before.

Thanks for the heads up...didn't catch that.

SassyFlats · October 2013

\:D/

No prob!

Missfunball · October 2013

TallAsh said:

mhilpisch10 said:
Haha see everyone thinks I'm crazy. I've been raised in an upper cervical chiropractic family. I have never even had a shot in my life of any kind and I haven't gotten any kind of sickness in about ..2 years I think. Even if they did find something in the ultrasound I don't know if I would take any medications. IF my baby has a health issue when he/ she is born than we will deal with it in the most natural way possible then. But until then I place all my trust In God and pray that everything is going as it should be. Judge away, so far every test for this pregnancy has been perfect. I'm not worried.
Ha ha ha...aren't you precious.

A congenital heart defect would not show up on any test, other than an ultrasound or fetal echocardiogram. It's not about YOU taking medications or whether YOU are vaccinated or whether YOU have been sick or not. A heart defect can happen to any baby, regardless of mom's past medical history.

Knowing whether or not your baby has, say, a single ventricle, would alert you that you need a medical team on hand to start meds that will keep your baby alive after he/she is born.

Do you get what I'm saying when I said crash in the previous post? I meant die. Be dead. Like, baby is there, and no one knows her little heart is messed up, but she starts looking shitty, and then she's dead.

And hopefully there's a medical someone who can do chest compressions and give emergency meds and get the baby's heart beating again, but wouldn't it be awesome if you could avoid all that by giving her some simple medications before she crashes (

Just my 2 cents, I understand why this is harshly worded, as all of us here want to see healthy babies. I'm on board with you doing a natural birth and as the pp outlined, if you're ok knowing the risks of not doing an ultrasound and accept those unnecessary risks, it's on you.

Seeing our LO through ultrasound is safe, but most importantly it can detect so many more issues before they become problems. My thoughts are with your LO. I hope everything is Goes as you wish and I hope if there is a loss it's something you can cope with naturally, you and your God.

Marijerije · October 2013

I replied earlier about this subject, because this is so weird for me! I am Dutch and in the Netherlands, this discussion is the other way around. It is normal to give birth without medication, home births are very common. The idea is that birth is not something medical, unless there seems to be a risk of course. Women that choose an epi are somewhat considered 'weaker', or that is the discussion at least... So if I were to say that I would want an epi, people around me have me defend this choice... So totally the other way around ;-), weird!

mandylynn1028 · October 2013

I'm all for whichever the mother wishes. I had an epi at about 6 cm and was very glad at that point. (Had been induced, given pitocen, etc.) I was able to enjoy the actual birth process a lot more than I would have without. (At the point I got it I couldn't focus or think straight from the contractions.) And, I had a fine experience with it, no shaking, could feel my feet, was able to walk around shortly after, etc.:)
Definitely will take one this time too, hopefully won't have to be induced this time though.

LiFeIsAmIrAcLe · October 2013

I agree with everyone who has commented about the "no ultrasound". Going med free is your decision. But choosing not to have diagnostic testing that could tell you of a potentially fatal problem seems a little crazy and selfish to me. I don't understand why you would knowingly choose to possibly take away chances of your baby surviving directly after birth.

And another thing......if I were you I wouldn't brag about how "you've never had shots in your life" and "haven't gotten sick in two years". That's a whole other issue on this board and frankly, I think basic immunizations are something that shouldn't even be a choice. They should be mandatory for the safety of everyone around you. (This coming from someone in the nursing field who had seen the consequences of no immunization FIRST HAND).

mrsdchastain · October 2013

I had a great experience with my first, although didn't get it until I was dilated to 9cm, I'm just scared I won't be that lucky this time around.

mrsdchastain · October 2013

I wish everyone was like that!

I hate that they are asking me & then not liking my answers. Why ask then? LOL My SIL asked me if I was having an epi & called me stupid when I said maybe not. And when she asked when I was finding out the gender & I told her when the baby was born, she called me crazy. When did my body become anyone else issue?

kimberpoo · October 2013

yesssssss! I don't even want to talk about my 'birth plan' anymore because every time someone asks and I tell them I want to go med-free as long as there aren't complications, they have to throw their 'oh no way that will happen' in. like...why the F did you even ask if you were just going to tell me my plan is all wrong and I'm going to haaaave to have an epi and an IV? If I refuse, they can't (legally!) give it to me. end. of. story.

even when I tell people very vaguely 'oh, I'd rather do it med-free but I'll play it by ear since I've never done this before' they always have to nay-say. I give up and I'm not telling anyone anymore!

SassyFlats · October 2013

bearsbearsbears said:
Seriously, who gives a shit if someone else got an epidural or not? I seriously could not give any fucks if my friends got an epi or not. I just do not get this conversation at all. I don't care if you take a tylenol when you have a headache, and I don't care if you get an epi when you're in labor.

@bearsbearsbears :

Maddeegal · October 2013

I hate when people say that... "Why go through the pain if you don't have to?"
Why do people do anything... Why cook dinner when you could just get takeout or go to an amazing restaurant... Why make bedding for your child's nursery and not just buy it.... Why not watch tv instead of going to the gym.... Seriously, because I don't want to always do things the easiest possible way! I like a challenge! I made it to a 7 my first pregnancy before I asked for an epidural, my contractions were right on top of each other, I thought it was amazing what my body could do! I don't care if you get an epidural, or if you have a midwife, or a water birth... Why is it so weird for me to want to experience natural birth? Yes I want the pain, I want the glory, I want the challenge, I want the experience, I want to prove to myself that I can do it! Don't get me wrong, the epidural was wonderful... Rainbows and unicorns and lollipops wonderful! Yet I still want to do it, so when people say "I don't understand," I want to say, "well, I don't understand how someone can be that ignorant and rude, just because YOU don't understand, doesn't make it wrong or crazy!"
Rant ended.... Sorry I may have had this talk with my MIL, it just really grinds my gears.

mrsdchastain · October 2013

Maddeegal said:

I hate when people say that... "Why go through the pain if you don't have to?" Why do people do anything... Why cook dinner when you could just get takeout or go to an amazing restaurant... Why make bedding for your child's nursery and not just buy it.... Why not watch tv instead of going to the gym.... Seriously, because I don't want to always do things the easiest possible way! I like a challenge! I made it to a 7 my first pregnancy before I asked for an epidural, my contractions were right on top of each other, I thought it was amazing what my body could do! I don't care if you get an epidural, or if you have a midwife, or a water birth... Why is it so weird for me to want to experience natural birth? Yes I want the pain, I want the glory, I want the challenge, I want the experience, I want to prove to myself that I can do it! Don't get me wrong, the epidural was wonderful... Rainbows and unicorns and lollipops wonderful! Yet I still want to do it, so when people say "I don't understand," I want to say, "well, I don't understand how someone can be that ignorant and rude, just because YOU don't understand, doesn't make it wrong or crazy!" Rant ended.... Sorry I may have had this talk with my MIL, it just really grinds my gears.

Loved this so, so much!

amberlynnr7 · October 2013

I am the same way. I had one with my DD and loved it. But I want to try to go without one this time. We will see how it goes.

However, I'm definitely not telling anyone my plans this time.

mrsdchastain · January 2014

I am regretting telling anyone. As I might have to be induced because I'm showing signs of pre-e again. And if I have to have pitocin, hands down - no questions, I am getting an epi. That stuff is no joke.

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