How can I help my wife feel more involved in the pregnancy?

Sarahwoolly · October 2013

Hi all, I am 16 weeks pregnant with my first and my wife and I couldn't be happier after quite a tumultuous effort to get here. She was my hero through it all and now the magic has happened how can I help keep making her feel as special in this pregnancy process as I feel?

mwagner25 · October 2013

Hello and congrats! For me (I am carrying and currently 34 weeks), I really opened up with my wife from the beginning of the TTC process and throughout the pregnancy. Things that I normally wouldn't share with anyone (such as the state of my cervical mucous while TTC) or any new pregnancy symptoms I shared with my wife so that she could be as involved in the process as possible. We purchased a doppler around 12 weeks (it was 30.00 on amazon), which was perfect for about where you are in the pregnancy because she could hear his heartbeat whenever she wanted and you could hear his little kicks before I could feel them and certainly before she could feel the movement from the outside. Now that he is so big we spend family time where she sings to him or reads and feels him move around as he hears her voice. It is amazing how he seems to recognize both of our voices. Lastly, every Thursday I read the next chapter in our pregnancy book with her and we talk about how he is growing, symptoms I am having, thoughts/fears about the pregnancy ect. Hope that helps!

deegadee13 · October 2013

I am the "More Different Momma" and we now have a 3 month old. For me it was hard to really feel involved until:

My wife started to show (like more than IVF bloat)
We started buying baby gear
We found out the gender (this was probably the biggest turning point in engagement for me)
I could feel M kick
We started doing all of the classes

I got obsessed with growth and development books so like pp I would read the "what to expect this week" crap to my wife. And I know a lot of people on this board don't agree with it, but I really liked one of the books I bought that was geared towards dads. It wasn't patronizing and it talked about serious stuff I identified with like: your wife is probably a hormonal mess and she will be normal again....but in the meantime backrubs and ice cream can solve almost all problems. It also talked a lot about finical planning, life insurance, and all of the boring details that I am pretty sure my wife wasn't thinking about.

Sorry this is super long but moral of the story: put her to work researching gear, over-share your feelings/symptoms, and keep building that baby

lamaitresse · October 2013

This is a great thread! Lots of food for thought. I'm bookmarking it to share with Smurf when we reach this point in our journey. Thanks, everybody!

Sarahwoolly · October 2013

You're all amazing, thank you so much fr all of this, it's priceless and so, so appreciated. I can't wait to share with K

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