Success after IF

Can I complain for a second?

So we have Thanksgiving this weekend (Canadian Thanksgiving) and my DH's aunt is planning it to be at her house. I'm also going to state that there are 3 other little children in our big family. Okay so the start time of dinner is 5:30, as in she wants people to show up at 5:30. Then START dinner at 7:00, b/c her daughter can't get there until then. So I suggested we meet earlier so we can hang out and visit b/c I know Hannah has to go to bed. She made excuses and basically said that it wouldn't work. So in an effort to be amicable, we tried putting Hannah to bed at my mom's last night to practice her sleeping in a play pen, it was a disaster, she just cried and crawled around the play pen. So we'll have to train her to sleep in her play pen, but Thanksgiving dinner is not the time for that. I'm just frustrated b/c Hannah has been doing so well going to sleep in her crib and I don't want to disrupt that. We're planning on keeping her up past her bedtime on Sunday, and then just leaving early, I doubt dinner will even be finished when we have to leave. I figured I'd let DH stay since it's his family. Argh! I just feel like it's so inconsiderate, there are 4 YOUNG children who have to go to bed, to start dinner at 7 is SO late for kids. I mean I get that her daughter can't get there till then cuz she's working, but late to dinner, late to eat. That's my opinion. Thank you all for letting me complain.
Diagonsed PCOS TTC since May 2009
First M/C December 2010 Second M/C August 2011
Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
Dec 27- third miscarriage
May 25th- Beta #1 369;May 27th- Beta #2 798
Baby girl born Jan 23, 9lbs 3oz, 21 1/2" long
May 27th-Beta #1 80; May 29th- Beta #2 304; May 31st- Beta #3 860
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Re: Can I complain for a second?

  • That seems so odd to me.  We always do Thanksgiving (granted, American not Canadian, not sure if it's a whole different idea) as more like a late lunch.  If I had to wait until 7 pm to eat my Thanksgiving dinner I'd be so upset!  Plus the fact that it's inconsiderate of all the littles, and the parents of the littles who will miss out.  Has anyone else mentioned this to her?  It doesn't seem fair to make 4 littles plus their parents suffer, to keep one person from missing dinner.  Sounds kinda selfish to me.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
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  • Ditto @TJ1979 - we do Thanksgiving around 3pm as its more of an all day celebration, kids or no kids. 7pm is late!
    dx: MFI 0% morph & low count. Occasional Anovulatory cycles.

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  • Ditto TJ! That's crazy late for all the Littles and their poor parents!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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  • Okay. Thank you for the affirmation!
    Diagonsed PCOS TTC since May 2009
    First M/C December 2010 Second M/C August 2011
    Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
    Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
    Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
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  • Has she ever heard of a microwave?  Or reheating dinner?

    One year my SIL was like an hour late to Thanksgiving dinner and my FIL made us all wait...only she wasn't even working. She was just late for no apparent reason.  It was one of those deals where we were supposed to eat at 6 but didn't eat until 7. I was used to eating at like 1...and was starving.  I was about to take someone's head off because I was so hungry 'cause no one eats very much during the day if they are expecting a huge meal for dinner.

    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

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  • I really feel your pain on this. I posted a few weeks ago about how my mom is insisting on hosting Thanksgiving this year and how livid I am since it's MY holiday to host. And I"m with ya - one of my many reasons for being annoyed is because of the disruption to my child. Ya know, when we could be in my house, like we normally are and she could stick to her nap schedule in her crib.

    I see why you are annoyed and  I would feel the same way! I HATE when my family can't be a little flexible to accomodate LO. The fact that there are multiple LO's in this equation makes it even worse!


    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
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  • I definitely see why you're annoyed.  If that was us, considering DS goes to bed by 7, I'd question even going.  He'd be a hot mess and it wouldn't be fun for anyone.  People don't get it!!  What do the other parents of LOs think?

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  • I agree with PP, she can host it whenever she wants and at least she has a reason for having it late. But as a guest, you can accept or decline the invitation. DD has been sleepy earlier than her normal bedtime (so 6:30 instead of 7:30), so I would just send DH and stay home with the baby. I would chose not to disrupt her schedule just like the host is choosing not to disrupt her daughters.  
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    Me:27, DH:28 - DX: MFI, varicocele repair Nov 2011 
    Post-Op SA: Count- 15 million, Motility- 75%, Morphology- 3% 
    IVF with ICSI - Stimming 10/4/12 - 10/13/12, Lupron Trigger
    ER 10/18/1212 eggs retrieved, 8 mature, 5 fertilized
    5 day transfer 10/23/12, 3 frosties
    Beta #1 11/5/12: 453, Beta #2 11/7/12: 1,013, DD born 7/19/13
  • We also eat Thanksgiving late. Last year I had to leave the table bc DD1 was 1 1/2 and having a meltdown. I put her to bed and rejoined everyone at the table. I didn't think it was a big deal. I don't think that family events need to revolve around one kid's bedtime.
    IVF, acupuncture, meditation and a miracle. 

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  • I get it. I feel the same way. We thankfully always throw holiday meals early due to my brother and I having little ones. My parents are very conscious of it. If it was DH's parents..they never feed on time and we have to feed our son separately and just break out the pack n play.

    Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born. 

    6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived

    10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP 

  • Thanks for the input, and honesty. I just really needed to get it out. Feeling better now. We're gonna try the next few nights putting her in the pack in play in hopes that she'll be okay on Sunday
    Diagonsed PCOS TTC since May 2009
    First M/C December 2010 Second M/C August 2011
    Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
    Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
    Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
    Dec 27- third miscarriage
    May 25th- Beta #1 369;May 27th- Beta #2 798
    Baby girl born Jan 23, 9lbs 3oz, 21 1/2" long
    May 27th-Beta #1 80; May 29th- Beta #2 304; May 31st- Beta #3 860
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