babys father will not step up

Re: babys father will not step up

• rachaelT28 member

  September 2013

  My husband and I were married 12 years with two other children when I found out I was pregnant and he decided to get a gf and throw us out of our home. He has not been to one single prenatal appointment and he barely discusses the baby if at all. At first I was freaked out because I am married and here I am doing this with my third child all alone, but honestly its been nice here at the end. I have gotten to choose a name my sons and I love, decisions for my son have been made by me alone and thats been nice too because no arguing with someone else about this or that. I know it seems hard, but if after 12 years I can do my pregnancy and labor alone I promise you can do it too. Keep your head up, the ladies on this board got your back and there is always great advice here.
  

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• 20thirteen member

  September 2013

  Wow, your situation sounds very VERY similar to mine. Except, my BD was actually already in another relationship behind my back.  He tried really hard to convince me to terminate and I kept telling him that I wasn't going to do it.  I was about 2 1/2-3mo along when his other girlfriend dumped me.  Yes, his other girlfriend did the dumping because he did not have the balls to do it himself.  They both drink heavily, do drugs, he was selling... all while taking care of this other girl's baby. I cut him out, though I did allow him to see her once (and only because I thought he had gotten a lawyer, so I wanted to look good in court).  I have not heard from him since then, I've just heard about all his misfortune since (him and that girl are no longer together, but that bitch be CRAY). But that is my experience, and not all guys are going to be afraid to contact their baby mama's like mine is.

  
  

  Everything is going to be fine, leave your BD out of this.  Clearly, all he will do is just make the pregnancy more stressful and that won't do you or your baby any good.  One day he is going to regret this, maybe someday soon or maybe sometime in the distant future.  Also, if you plan on filing for CS, you may also want to prepare yourself (just in case) for a custody battle.  You probably won't find yourself in the middle of one, but from what I've seen from friends and on this board that some BDs will only pay CS if they get visitation rights or some kind of custody agreement.

  
  

  I'm not sure exactly how PMing works on this site, but feel free to PM me if you want to talk about your situation.  My DD is a little over 3mo now and I couldn't be happier with how things worked out.

  
  

  Much love and good vibes sent your way! (P.S. congrats on your decision to keep the baby, you will find that this baby is going to change your life in ways you couldn't possibly imagine and you'll experience a kind of happiness that you have never felt in your life.)

  

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• 20thirteen member

  September 2013

  Crazy* not cray, typed too fast

  

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• inthelost member

  October 2013

  my daughter's father never went to one single doctor's appointment and has never even met or acknowledged the fact that she's even been born so i understand where you're coming from. File for CS once your child is born, and if he tries to fight for custody try to get proof of his recreational drug use. But don't expect him to be part of the pregnancy and leave him out of it..he will just cause you undue stress and you don't need it while pregnant.
  

  Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103

  
  

  
  

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