Elective c-section

megs68 · October 2013

The reason you are restricted from driving is because you are so limited in your core body. You really shouldn't be twisting or turning at all for several weeks. You need to twist and turn to drive safely - to look in mirrors, look at your blind spots, etc. You definitely should not be driving for a while after your c/s.

bdunkin · October 2013

There are two doctors in my doctors office and one of them is KNOWN for his preference of c-sections.
If you go into labor and he shows up at the hospital he will not wait for you. You WILL have a c-section! And he does electives all the time. So there are doctors out there that do this!

I'm a FTM and choose to avoid him for this reason and some of my friends have chosen to go to him just because they know when THEY get uncomfortable he will deliver them. A close friend of mine just spent over 3 weeks in the NICU because she was tired of being pregnant and he delivered her early!

Everyone has their preference for what they want/believe but when you got pregnant it was no longer about you. If anxiety is going to cause extra stress on the baby, weigh the options because it will also be stressful to be jerked out into the world before the baby is ready!

VineyardMel · October 2013

So I don't agree with an elective C/S just because. I agree that you should talk to your OB and therapist to work on preparing for birth, because whether you deliver vaginally or via C/S it's intense and I've never heard of anyone walking away pain free.

That said, this thread has turned into the horrors of a C/S. Because a large number of women on this board will end up with one regardless of planning, I just want to share that my experience was awesome and my recovery was easy--and I can't take pain meds so I did it only on ibuprofen. I definitely had pain and I had a hard time getting up and down for a week or so, but by the the time I was home I was 80% and by the end of the second week I was going for walks with the baby, stairs were no problem and I was off ibuprofen in 6 days (the day after I got home from the hospital). Did I just get lucky? Maybe. Maybe I have a high pain threshold and maybe this next one is going to be a lot harder. But I just hate the idea that women are so terrified of a C/S and end up taking risks to try to avoid it. At the end of the day, the ONLY thing that matters is getting a baby here safely. Most birth plans don't go exactly according to plan and romanticizing the birth experience can lead to long term emotional issues when you feel like you failed.

megs68 · October 2013

VineyardMel said:

So I don't agree with an elective C/S just because. I agree that you should talk to your OB and therapist to work on preparing for birth, because whether you deliver vaginally or via C/S it's intense and I've never heard of anyone walking away pain free.

That said, this thread has turned into the horrors of a C/S. Because a large number of women on this board will end up with one regardless of planning, I just want to share that my experience was awesome and my recovery was easy--and I can't take pain meds so I did it only on ibuprofen. I definitely had pain and I had a hard time getting up and down for a week or so, but by the the time I was home I was 80% and by the end of the second week I was going for walks with the baby, stairs were no problem and I was off ibuprofen in 6 days (the day after I got home from the hospital). Did I just get lucky? Maybe. Maybe I have a high pain threshold and maybe this next one is going to be a lot harder. But I just hate the idea that women are so terrified of a C/S and end up taking risks to try to avoid it. At the end of the day, the ONLY thing that matters is getting a baby here safely. Most birth plans don't go exactly according to plan and romanticizing the birth experience can lead to long term emotional issues when you feel like you failed.

Yes, I agree that the most IMPORTANT thing is the baby coming safely and I think your heart is in the right place by trying to diminish fears of women who may eventually be forced into unwanted c/s but let's not say the ONLY thing that's important is the baby arriving safely. This diminishes the other pain and suffering, both physically and emotionally, that a mother goes through during and following a c/s. I have talked to some moms who have no ill feelings or suffering following a c/s and it sounds like you're in this camp, which is great for you. But there are a lot of us who have really sad feelings and grief following our c/s. and this is something that should be respected and not diminished by acting as if our feelings don't matter and aren't important because the ONlY thing that is important is the baby is here. Mothers are an important part of thie birthing process too and our health and emotional well being is important and valuable too. I'm sorry to go off on this tangent but I hear a lot of this, that as long as the baby arrives safely, who cares how its born, and saying things like this dismisses the feelings and sadness the mother may feel about how the baby arrived. A mother can certainly feel joy with the arrival of the baby, but that doesn't just eliminate her physical paind and sadness with the experience.

SamJustice · October 2013

I tried desperately for one with DS. I was denied and told it would be better with his health complications to do it vaginally. I'm glad, too. I was walking around hours after giving birth and having sex again 4 weeks after. Healing went well and FI swears my vagina is the same as it always has been (which, to be honest, was my concern).

liamandlettie · October 2013

megs68 said:

VineyardMel said:

So I don't agree with an elective C/S just because. I agree that you should talk to your OB and therapist to work on preparing for birth, because whether you deliver vaginally or via C/S it's intense and I've never heard of anyone walking away pain free.

That said, this thread has turned into the horrors of a C/S. Because a large number of women on this board will end up with one regardless of planning, I just want to share that my experience was awesome and my recovery was easy--and I can't take pain meds so I did it only on ibuprofen. I definitely had pain and I had a hard time getting up and down for a week or so, but by the the time I was home I was 80% and by the end of the second week I was going for walks with the baby, stairs were no problem and I was off ibuprofen in 6 days (the day after I got home from the hospital). Did I just get lucky? Maybe. Maybe I have a high pain threshold and maybe this next one is going to be a lot harder. But I just hate the idea that women are so terrified of a C/S and end up taking risks to try to avoid it. At the end of the day, the ONLY thing that matters is getting a baby here safely. Most birth plans don't go exactly according to plan and romanticizing the birth experience can lead to long term emotional issues when you feel like you failed.

Yes, I agree that the most IMPORTANT thing is the baby coming safely and I think your heart is in the right place by trying to diminish fears of women who may eventually be forced into unwanted c/s but let's not say the ONLY thing that's important is the baby arriving safely. This diminishes the other pain and suffering, both physically and emotionally, that a mother goes through during and following a c/s. I have talked to some moms who have no ill feelings or suffering following a c/s and it sounds like you're in this camp, which is great for you. But there are a lot of us who have really sad feelings and grief following our c/s. and this is something that should be respected and not diminished by acting as if our feelings don't matter and aren't important because the ONlY thing that is important is the baby is here. Mothers are an important part of thie birthing process too and our health and emotional well being is important and valuable too. I'm sorry to go off on this tangent but I hear a lot of this, that as long as the baby arrives safely, who cares how its born, and saying things like this dismisses the feelings and sadness the mother may feel about how the baby arrived. A mother can certainly feel joy with the arrival of the baby, but that doesn't just eliminate her physical paind and sadness with the experience.

And it can happen with a vaginal delivery. I think its important to realize that anything can happen or go wrong regard less how how a child comes into the world. I think its great people walk away from vaginal tears and feel great a week later but that's also not always true either.No one EVER told me my situation was possible. The nurse told me "oh honey. Your a first time mom. This baby isn't coming for hours." Well she ended up delivering my son 45 minutes later. I had 4 degree tears...through my rectum. Alarms going off every where. Surgeon screaming at people. I don't remember holding my son for the first time. I felt a loss...sadness for months. That feeling isnt limited to c-sections. My point again is there are horror stories with both. We don't get to control anyof it really. Looking back, I wish I knew more, understood the delivery process better, researched better techniques and had more conversations with my doctor about my fears or expectactions. Every mother wants the ideal delivery but its not guaranteed either way.

liamandlettie · October 2013

bdunkin said:
There are two doctors in my doctors office and one of them is KNOWN for his preference of c-sections.
If you go into labor and he shows up at the hospital he will not wait for you. You WILL have a c-section! And he does electives all the time. So there are doctors out there that do this!

I'm a FTM and choose to avoid him for this reason and some of my friends have chosen to go to him just because they know when THEY get uncomfortable he will deliver them. A close friend of mine just spent over 3 weeks in the NICU because she was tired of being pregnant and he delivered her early!

Everyone has their preference for what they want/believe but when you got pregnant it was no longer about you. If anxiety is going to cause extra stress on the baby, weigh the options because it will also be stressful to be jerked out into the world before the baby is ready!

That's crazy! Does he delivery anyone? In our hospital you get the "Doc on Deck" to deliver you meaning there is a slim chance your actual doctor would deliver your baby unless he's the "Doc on Deck". I am nervous I could get a doctor that pushes one way or the other and not really care about the person. Sorry..got off track from topic!

bdunkin · October 2013

jenniemac2000 said:

bdunkin said:
There are two doctors in my doctors office and one of them is KNOWN for his preference of c-sections.
If you go into labor and he shows up at the hospital he will not wait for you. You WILL have a c-section! And he does electives all the time. So there are doctors out there that do this!

I'm a FTM and choose to avoid him for this reason and some of my friends have chosen to go to him just because they know when THEY get uncomfortable he will deliver them. A close friend of mine just spent over 3 weeks in the NICU because she was tired of being pregnant and he delivered her early!

Everyone has their preference for what they want/believe but when you got pregnant it was no longer about you. If anxiety is going to cause extra stress on the baby, weigh the options because it will also be stressful to be jerked out into the world before the baby is ready!
That's crazy! Does he delivery anyone? In our hospital you get the "Doc on Deck" to deliver you meaning there is a slim chance your actual doctor would deliver your baby unless he's the "Doc on Deck". I am nervous I could get a doctor that pushes one way or the other and not really care about the person. Sorry..got off track from topic!

That's insane I dont know what I would do if I don't get my doctor at go time!! And I'm honestly not sure that he does deliver! EVERYONE I know that has used him for their doctor has had a c-section. Even a couple that wanted to deliver vaginally and had no complications!

VineyardMel · October 2013

jenniemac2000 said:

VineyardMel said:

So I don't agree with an elective C/S just because. I agree that you should talk to your OB and therapist to work on preparing for birth, because whether you deliver vaginally or via C/S it's intense and I've never heard of anyone walking away pain free.

That said, this thread has turned into the horrors of a C/S. Because a large number of women on this board will end up with one regardless of planning, I just want to share that my experience was awesome and my recovery was easy--and I can't take pain meds so I did it only on ibuprofen. I definitely had pain and I had a hard time getting up and down for a week or so, but by the the time I was home I was 80% and by the end of the second week I was going for walks with the baby, stairs were no problem and I was off ibuprofen in 6 days (the day after I got home from the hospital). Did I just get lucky? Maybe. Maybe I have a high pain threshold and maybe this next one is going to be a lot harder. But I just hate the idea that women are so terrified of a C/S and end up taking risks to try to avoid it. At the end of the day, the ONLY thing that matters is getting a baby here safely. Most birth plans don't go exactly according to plan and romanticizing the birth experience can lead to long term emotional issues when you feel like you failed.

Yes, I agree that the most IMPORTANT thing is the baby coming safely and I think your heart is in the right place by trying to diminish fears of women who may eventually be forced into unwanted c/s but let's not say the ONLY thing that's important is the baby arriving safely. This diminishes the other pain and suffering, both physically and emotionally, that a mother goes through during and following a c/s. I have talked to some moms who have no ill feelings or suffering following a c/s and it sounds like you're in this camp, which is great for you. But there are a lot of us who have really sad feelings and grief following our c/s. and this is something that should be respected and not diminished by acting as if our feelings don't matter and aren't important because the ONlY thing that is important is the baby is here. Mothers are an important part of thie birthing process too and our health and emotional well being is important and valuable too. I'm sorry to go off on this tangent but I hear a lot of this, that as long as the baby arrives safely, who cares how its born, and saying things like this dismisses the feelings and sadness the mother may feel about how the baby arrived. A mother can certainly feel joy with the arrival of the baby, but that doesn't just eliminate her physical paind and sadness with the experience.
And it can happen with a vaginal delivery. I think its important to realize that anything can happen or go wrong regard less how how a child comes into the world. I think its great people walk away from vaginal tears and feel great a week later but that's also not always true either.No one EVER told me my situation was possible. The nurse told me "oh honey. Your a first time mom. This baby isn't coming for hours." Well she ended up delivering my son 45 minutes later. I had 4 degree tears...through my rectum. Alarms going off every where. Surgeon screaming at people. I don't remember holding my son for the first time. I felt a loss...sadness for months. That feeling isnt limited to c-sections. My point again is there are horror stories with both. We don't get to control anyof it really. Looking back, I wish I knew more, understood the delivery process better, researched better techniques and had more conversations with my doctor about my fears or expectactions. Every mother wants the ideal delivery but its not guaranteed either way.

This is my whole point exactly. I'm not trying to say that the sad feelings for not having the delivery you hoped for aren't valid, I just have seen so many people fixate on the ideal birth and there aren't any guarantees. Anyone can end up with a C/S. Anyone can end up with an horrible vaginal birth experience, too. The reason I say the only thing that matters is getting the baby here safely is because everything else really is gravy. And you never know what you avoided by having a C/S. My OB very candidly told me that mine saved my sex life. So while I would love to have the experience of pushing and for my husband to see it all happening (I was there for a friend and it was the most amazing thing), at the end of the day, that stuff is all gravy and leaving the hospital with a healthy baby trumps everything else. If you go in with that being your goal, you're much less likely to leave feeling sad that things didn't go the way you wanted.

megs68 · October 2013

VineyardMel said:

jenniemac2000 said:

VineyardMel said:

So I don't agree with an elective C/S just because. I agree that you should talk to your OB and therapist to work on preparing for birth, because whether you deliver vaginally or via C/S it's intense and I've never heard of anyone walking away pain free.

That said, this thread has turned into the horrors of a C/S. Because a large number of women on this board will end up with one regardless of planning, I just want to share that my experience was awesome and my recovery was easy--and I can't take pain meds so I did it only on ibuprofen. I definitely had pain and I had a hard time getting up and down for a week or so, but by the the time I was home I was 80% and by the end of the second week I was going for walks with the baby, stairs were no problem and I was off ibuprofen in 6 days (the day after I got home from the hospital). Did I just get lucky? Maybe. Maybe I have a high pain threshold and maybe this next one is going to be a lot harder. But I just hate the idea that women are so terrified of a C/S and end up taking risks to try to avoid it. At the end of the day, the ONLY thing that matters is getting a baby here safely. Most birth plans don't go exactly according to plan and romanticizing the birth experience can lead to long term emotional issues when you feel like you failed.

Yes, I agree that the most IMPORTANT thing is the baby coming safely and I think your heart is in the right place by trying to diminish fears of women who may eventually be forced into unwanted c/s but let's not say the ONLY thing that's important is the baby arriving safely. This diminishes the other pain and suffering, both physically and emotionally, that a mother goes through during and following a c/s. I have talked to some moms who have no ill feelings or suffering following a c/s and it sounds like you're in this camp, which is great for you. But there are a lot of us who have really sad feelings and grief following our c/s. and this is something that should be respected and not diminished by acting as if our feelings don't matter and aren't important because the ONlY thing that is important is the baby is here. Mothers are an important part of thie birthing process too and our health and emotional well being is important and valuable too. I'm sorry to go off on this tangent but I hear a lot of this, that as long as the baby arrives safely, who cares how its born, and saying things like this dismisses the feelings and sadness the mother may feel about how the baby arrived. A mother can certainly feel joy with the arrival of the baby, but that doesn't just eliminate her physical paind and sadness with the experience.
And it can happen with a vaginal delivery. I think its important to realize that anything can happen or go wrong regard less how how a child comes into the world. I think its great people walk away from vaginal tears and feel great a week later but that's also not always true either.No one EVER told me my situation was possible. The nurse told me "oh honey. Your a first time mom. This baby isn't coming for hours." Well she ended up delivering my son 45 minutes later. I had 4 degree tears...through my rectum. Alarms going off every where. Surgeon screaming at people. I don't remember holding my son for the first time. I felt a loss...sadness for months. That feeling isnt limited to c-sections. My point again is there are horror stories with both. We don't get to control anyof it really. Looking back, I wish I knew more, understood the delivery process better, researched better techniques and had more conversations with my doctor about my fears or expectactions. Every mother wants the ideal delivery but its not guaranteed either way.

This is my whole point exactly. I'm not trying to say that the sad feelings for not having the delivery you hoped for aren't valid, I just have seen so many people fixate on the ideal birth and there aren't any guarantees. Anyone can end up with a C/S. Anyone can end up with an horrible vaginal birth experience, too. The reason I say the only thing that matters is getting the baby here safely is because everything else really is gravy. And you never know what you avoided by having a C/S. My OB very candidly told me that mine saved my sex life. So while I would love to have the experience of pushing and for my husband to see it all happening (I was there for a friend and it was the most amazing thing), at the end of the day, that stuff is all gravy and leaving the hospital with a healthy baby trumps everything else. If you go in with that being your goal, you're much less likely to leave feeling sad that things didn't go the way you wanted.

I hate to beat a dead horse here, but I still don't think you quite get it or maybe i'm just especially sensitive to this subject. I think we can all agree that the absolute most important thing here is a healthy baby. 100%. And there are traumatic c-section experiences and traumatic vaginal experiences and there's no telling what emergency event could happen and what could go wrong. But by telling everyone how great your c-section experience was and stressing the ONLY thing that is important is a healthy baby (you did capitalize this in order to stress this to us all), you just don't get the impact those words can have on a woman who suffered or who is grieving the loss of the birth that she wanted. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman who has a birth plan and an idea of how she wants things to go. It's one of the most important days of our lives when we become mothers. And it may not even matter if a woman went in thinking she was flexible with anything that could happen- her feelings, her recovery, her experience is perfectly valid and she's allowed to feel sad and grieve. "The only thing that matters is a healthy baby" is so commonly said and so untrue. Maybe I'm not saying it as well as I wish I could, but there's a much more eloquent piece on this statement than I could ever say located here: https://birthingbeautifulideas.com/?p=142. I just really want you to understand how hurtful and untrue your statement is to some of us who grieve the birth experience we ended up having, vaginal or c-section. Please don't diminish womens' feelings about their birth experiences. Maybe that isn't how intended your comment, but this kind of comment that is so commonly said to those of us with less than positive experiences can really sting and make us feel as though our feelings are invalid and shameful at one of the most emotional and important times of our lives.

VineyardMel · October 2013

megs68 said:

VineyardMel said:

jenniemac2000 said:

VineyardMel said:

So I don't agree with an elective C/S just because. I agree that you should talk to your OB and therapist to work on preparing for birth, because whether you deliver vaginally or via C/S it's intense and I've never heard of anyone walking away pain free.

That said, this thread has turned into the horrors of a C/S. Because a large number of women on this board will end up with one regardless of planning, I just want to share that my experience was awesome and my recovery was easy--and I can't take pain meds so I did it only on ibuprofen. I definitely had pain and I had a hard time getting up and down for a week or so, but by the the time I was home I was 80% and by the end of the second week I was going for walks with the baby, stairs were no problem and I was off ibuprofen in 6 days (the day after I got home from the hospital). Did I just get lucky? Maybe. Maybe I have a high pain threshold and maybe this next one is going to be a lot harder. But I just hate the idea that women are so terrified of a C/S and end up taking risks to try to avoid it. At the end of the day, the ONLY thing that matters is getting a baby here safely. Most birth plans don't go exactly according to plan and romanticizing the birth experience can lead to long term emotional issues when you feel like you failed.

Yes, I agree that the most IMPORTANT thing is the baby coming safely and I think your heart is in the right place by trying to diminish fears of women who may eventually be forced into unwanted c/s but let's not say the ONLY thing that's important is the baby arriving safely. This diminishes the other pain and suffering, both physically and emotionally, that a mother goes through during and following a c/s. I have talked to some moms who have no ill feelings or suffering following a c/s and it sounds like you're in this camp, which is great for you. But there are a lot of us who have really sad feelings and grief following our c/s. and this is something that should be respected and not diminished by acting as if our feelings don't matter and aren't important because the ONlY thing that is important is the baby is here. Mothers are an important part of thie birthing process too and our health and emotional well being is important and valuable too. I'm sorry to go off on this tangent but I hear a lot of this, that as long as the baby arrives safely, who cares how its born, and saying things like this dismisses the feelings and sadness the mother may feel about how the baby arrived. A mother can certainly feel joy with the arrival of the baby, but that doesn't just eliminate her physical paind and sadness with the experience.
And it can happen with a vaginal delivery. I think its important to realize that anything can happen or go wrong regard less how how a child comes into the world. I think its great people walk away from vaginal tears and feel great a week later but that's also not always true either.No one EVER told me my situation was possible. The nurse told me "oh honey. Your a first time mom. This baby isn't coming for hours." Well she ended up delivering my son 45 minutes later. I had 4 degree tears...through my rectum. Alarms going off every where. Surgeon screaming at people. I don't remember holding my son for the first time. I felt a loss...sadness for months. That feeling isnt limited to c-sections. My point again is there are horror stories with both. We don't get to control anyof it really. Looking back, I wish I knew more, understood the delivery process better, researched better techniques and had more conversations with my doctor about my fears or expectactions. Every mother wants the ideal delivery but its not guaranteed either way.

This is my whole point exactly. I'm not trying to say that the sad feelings for not having the delivery you hoped for aren't valid, I just have seen so many people fixate on the ideal birth and there aren't any guarantees. Anyone can end up with a C/S. Anyone can end up with an horrible vaginal birth experience, too. The reason I say the only thing that matters is getting the baby here safely is because everything else really is gravy. And you never know what you avoided by having a C/S. My OB very candidly told me that mine saved my sex life. So while I would love to have the experience of pushing and for my husband to see it all happening (I was there for a friend and it was the most amazing thing), at the end of the day, that stuff is all gravy and leaving the hospital with a healthy baby trumps everything else. If you go in with that being your goal, you're much less likely to leave feeling sad that things didn't go the way you wanted.

I hate to beat a dead horse here, but I still don't think you quite get it or maybe i'm just especially sensitive to this subject. I think we can all agree that the absolute most important thing here is a healthy baby. 100%. And there are traumatic c-section experiences and traumatic vaginal experiences and there's no telling what emergency event could happen and what could go wrong. But by telling everyone how great your c-section experience was and stressing the ONLY thing that is important is a healthy baby (you did capitalize this in order to stress this to us all), you just don't get the impact those words can have on a woman who suffered or who is grieving the loss of the birth that she wanted. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman who has a birth plan and an idea of how she wants things to go. It's one of the most important days of our lives when we become mothers. And it may not even matter if a woman went in thinking she was flexible with anything that could happen- her feelings, her recovery, her experience is perfectly valid and she's allowed to feel sad and grieve. "The only thing that matters is a healthy baby" is so commonly said and so untrue. Maybe I'm not saying it as well as I wish I could, but there's a much more eloquent piece on this statement than I could ever say located here: https://birthingbeautifulideas.com/?p=142. I just really want you to understand how hurtful and untrue your statement is to some of us who grieve the birth experience we ended up having, vaginal or c-section. Please don't diminish womens' feelings about their birth experiences. Maybe that isn't how intended your comment, but this kind of comment that is so commonly said to those of us with less than positive experiences can really sting and make us feel as though our feelings are invalid and shameful at one of the most emotional and important times of our lives.

I never said your feelings aren't valid. I'm just hoping to help FTMs be prepared that a lot of things can happen when they deliver in hopes that they can avoid the pain that you--and a number of my very dear friends--have experienced because they were so focused on what their ideal birth experience is or had a set of expectations that weren't met. We all have plans and hopes and imagine what that day will be like. I think where women can set themselves up for the kind of disappointment that leads to a grieving experience or feeling like they failed or even serious depression is when they put the set of circumstances under which the baby comes into the world at the same level of importance as walking away with a healthy baby. That's not meant to insult you--it's meant to give FTMs something to think about as they prepare for the birth of their babies.

Excitedmum35 · October 2013

OP I suffer from anxiety but I guess it's not severe I deal with it and take 50mg zoloft a day.
I am having my third baby- my first birth was pretty full on, epidural and episiotomy etc. my second MH and I were left alone to labour in the tv room as there were no birthing rooms avail and no dr avail (despite me being induced as I was considered high risk due to having GD)
Anyway I now am VERY anxious about my next birth. After not having an Epi the second time id like to try that again but after such a traumatic experience that we weren't prepared for (we assumed we would have a room and at least a midwife) I have decided that This time we will be better prepared.
We are going to a different hospital as we have moved (but I wouldn't go back to the other one anyway) and we are going to birthing classes at the hospital to find out as much as we can about how they work and I'm pretty sure I'm also hiring a doula.
Why don't u look into the hypnobabies birthing classes and your own doula? I really think education and being prepared is the answer, not a c section!

ALHolli · October 2013

I didn't make it through all the comments yet, so if I'm repeating something, I apologize.

I didn't have nearly as bad of a c-section experience as some of you have, yeesh!! I'm so sorry you went through that. DD's heart rate dropped with each push so I had to get an emergency c-section. Was not planned but went smoothly and I had a doctor I liked.

I had lots of drugs but I remember the birth, time is just weird. I don't know how long it was til I could hold DD, my memory wants to say an hour. I got the shakes real bad from all the meds. By the next day though, they had me get up and walk to the shower.

OMG the pain. Searing, burning, tearing pain, and I have a very clean scar, healed up beautifully, you can barely see it. I started some physical therapy at my chiropractor's office at 4 weeks post-partum and I think it helped me heal a lot faster.

Funny story though, I was in desperate need of nursing tanks/bras when we left the hospital that we went straight from checkout to the mall. I walked the mall (very very slowly) and hobbled into Motherhood Maternity and scared the daylights out of the poor clerk when I told her I was fresh out with a c/s and needed clothes lol.

If you want kids close together, my OB recommended we wait for at least a year to heal. It's been 1.5 and I still get pulls, twinges, itches. After exercising the scar burns. It's numb around the scar and the numb patch was huge (belly button to crotch) for at least 6 months. As things grow now, I get itchy and can feel the pulls. It's so weird. I'm trying for VBAC this time, because I'm scared of multiple c-sections.

ALHolli · October 2013

Also, people keep saying "our bodies are made for delivery" which kinda throws fuel on my guilt fire that's already there from how DD was delivered. I truly don't think everyone is made for it. Otherwise, why did DD's heart rate drop every time I pushed? I did great through a whole day of labor, did everything I was supposed to, and still "failed." I keep trying to psyche myself up for a VBAC, saying "so this time I won't be a failure." But I'm expecting I might have to do it again

I dunno what the point was for that, except for yay more guilt.

liamandlettie · October 2013

ALHolli said:
Also, people keep saying "our bodies are made for delivery" which kinda throws fuel on my guilt fire that's already there from how DD was delivered. I truly don't think everyone is made for it. Otherwise, why did DD's heart rate drop every time I pushed? I did great through a whole day of labor, did everything I was supposed to, and still "failed." I keep trying to psyche myself up for a VBAC, saying "so this time I won't be a failure." But I'm expecting I might have to do it again

I dunno what the point was for that, except for yay more guilt.

I feel the same way when people say that...that maybe just because we are women and that we have the parts to deliver a baby doesn't mean we all can. I did vaginally deliver and I feel like my body failed me rather than me failing. Does that make sense? Anyway, in a perfect world we would all have the deliveries that go perfectly. I'm hoping #2, whichever way it goes, is better than the first! Everyone keeps telling me it is! OP~there is a lot of good advice here. I'm not sure if you have responded or not but I hope you talk to your doctor about everything you are feeling and have an open discussion about your options..including vaginal delivery options.

Meganequine · October 2013

Seek some help and support for your anxiety. If it's pain that's your worry an epidural will take care of that (most of the time). Also, you will not have "control" over the situation whether you give birth vaginally or a planned c/s. Unexpected things can happen in both and the pain can vary person to person and even birth to birth. Have you had surgeries before? IMO all surgeries have worries that go with (as an adult I've had my tonsils out and ankle surgery.)

I had a C-section the first time around after I started pushing and my cervix began swelling and narrowing. (Unplanned but not "emergency" C-section.) My recovery was fairly easy, even compared to some of my friends that had vaginal births. However, I think that's just me. Despite an easy C-section and my own fears about vaginal pain, I'm going to try a VBAC this go around if baby comes on their own (if I'm late it'll be a RCS)

I'm sure that you can research and hear about all the risks. Here are some little things you may not think of.

*You won't be the first person to hold your baby. They show you the baby and clean them up while you get stitched up. My husband was the first person to hold our baby for the first chunk of his life. Beyond that you can't sit up and get out of bed right away.

*You are restricted on how much you can lift after the birth, which seems like no big deal but is annoying.

*You can't drive for 4-6 weeks (because 1- you twisting and pushing isn't good on the incision and 2- if your still taking pain meds it's likely one that says you shouldn't drive.)

*If you're a side sleeper, sleeping may be tricky for a bit. When I laid on my side the loose skin from my empty baby belly pulled against the incision and was one of the few times I was in pain.

codec · October 2013

ALHolli said:

Also, people keep saying "our bodies are made for delivery" which kinda throws fuel on my guilt fire that's already there from how DD was delivered. I truly don't think everyone is made for it. Otherwise, why did DD's heart rate drop every time I pushed? I did great through a whole day of labor, did everything I was supposed to, and still "failed." I keep trying to psyche myself up for a VBAC, saying "so this time I won't be a failure." But I'm expecting I might have to do it again

I dunno what the point was for that, except for yay more guilt.

Yeah, when I read that it makes me feel bad

. I had a 46 hr labor with pitocin and broken waters the first time and dialated to 2cm. My baby ended up being 10lbs 3oz and was in distress until they decided we had to go the c-section route. So its not like we didn't try.

springbaby03 · October 2013

I just wanted to throw this out there...OP left on page one and hasn't been back. So yea looks like were debating amongst ourselves here. Lol I hate when that happens...look at all of the heart felt stories and opinions we posted.

( No really I'm okay.

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