Yes, this is a religion post

Rogue237 · October 2013

And I'm certain we will do fabulously discussing. I'm just curious what people's plans are as far as their kids and religion. My DH and I are agnostic, but we've always agreed that when LO is old enough to be interested and curious, we'd teach them about all of the major religions so that one day they can pick which one (or none) works best for them with all the facts. I'm curious if people that are religious ever do that or if you only pass on your own beliefs and traditions. Also, people that are a different religion than their SO, how will you work that? I have an aunt (my mom's sister) who is Methodist and she married a Jewish man and they raised their son with both until he was old enough to choose which I always thought was cool. Anyway, any thoughts? All religions are welcome except for crazy cults that tell women who have had c-sections that they didn't give birth

seannasmommy16 · October 2013

Okay so this is going to be a wired story. But my DH believes in Buddhism. And I believe in god but I don't believe everything the bible has to say... I don't know if that makes since or not.. But with my kids I just plan on letting them choose what they want to believe in.. I've never been the type of person to force a believe on someone my DH is the same way

hlm184 · October 2013

We're agnostic as well, but we are having a godfather for our child and they can learn about religion with that person. If they express any interest in other religions, we'll accommodate that learning as well.

myschlove · October 2013

My husband and I both grew up attending the Church of Christ and will continue attending with our children!

My parents always told us that it's important for us to have our own faith and not our parents and they encouraged us to read and study the Bible for ourselves which is what I plan to do with my children

thomas930 · October 2013

Both DH and I were raised in the non-denominational Christian church and we plan to raise our kids the same. We attend church every Sunday as long as we arent out of town. It is very important for me to raise my kids as Christians but to teach them love and not to judge other people for their beliefs, if that makes sense. We read Bible stories to the kids and we pray before bedtime.

hordol · October 2013

DH and I are both Christians and we will raise the baby as a Christian. I don't think it's a bad thing to raise the baby with one specific religion just because they didn't choose it themselves. Someday they will be old enough to make their own decision and they can do so then, but because DH and I wholeheartedly believe our religion, it wouldn't make sense not to teach that to our child. People can argue that organized religion is bad and causes wars/hate/discrimination, whatever, but you don't usually see that in the children. It's the adults that can take things too far.

hlm184 · October 2013

jellysparkles said:

I was raised 'outside of religion' with the option to explore, which honestly made for a lot of difficulties for me growing up, personally and socially. Fine idea in theory, maybe my parents executed poorly. I don't know. In my adult life, I've joined a church and become baptized, and we're raising our daughter in the church DH grew up in. However, we're going at it pretty progressively and leaving plenty of room for questioning.

Pure curiosity here - what sort of difficulties did you experience? Do you have any advice for mitigating those difficulties for those who want to raise their kids without religion?

JulianneJacks · October 2013

My take on religious education is kind of weird. I think it's important for kids to get exposed to Christianity and Judaism for the prior knowledge when they are learning about religion and it's impact on history and culture in school. I remember being grateful for having to go to Sunday school in middle school and high school history classes because it would have been a LOT to learn all at once at that time. I plan to send my kids to a Protestant church for Sunday school when they are young and then as they get older I will let them pick which church (or no church at all) they would like to attend.

I will also try to educate my children (and myself) about other religions outside of Christianity so that they can be informed as history text books are starting to be less focused on white European culture.

I have no problem with parents who decide to raise their children agnostically but I think it's important for these parents to teach their children about what popular religions believe and how religion has impacted history so that their kids will have prior knowledge and won't be at a disadvantage when they learn about these things in school.

BiggerinRealLife · October 2013

We're Christian, but for us it's not a religion, it's a relationship. I don't go because I have to, and I don't practice my faith because I feel obligated or guilt. I love God and Jesus and my faith is the natural outpouring of having a relationship with them.

We have an awesome church with a huge children's ministry and a private school that DH grew up in and now is on the Board of. At our church it's ok not to be perfect. It's ok to have questions. It's ok to come as you are, we'll love you right where you're at. It's a community of awesome people who have loved and supported us since we were dating, and became a surrogate family to us when our families of origin blew up. As soon as we tell them about LO I know there will be a huge shower, and families signing up to keep us in dinners for two months after I give birth. My baby already has tons of 'aunts an uncles' and I can't wait for LO to be a part of that.

Community aside, I love God and really, really, can't wait for LO to have a relationship with our Lord. I know there will be questions, I expect that they'll look at other faiths. I've studied the world's religions at length, and I expect my child will want to as well. We wouldn't disown them or anything if they didn't believe what we believe. We have tons of friends who are other religions/atheist/agnostic, and we respect their belief systems and love them. But I'll always want what's best for my child, and based on my beliefs, that's raising them to love and honor the God of the Bible.

Sorry so long, I get really excited.

SIR12 · October 2013

DH was raised Chatholic orChristian I don' t know the difference. I was raised without religion ~ don't believe in god. We are raising our children without religion.

JulianneJacks · October 2013

hlm184 said:

We're agnostic as well, but we are having a godfather for our child and they can learn about religion with that person. If they express any interest in other religions, we'll accommodate that learning as well.

I think what you are doing is great. We have relatives who are agnostic and they haven't provided their children with any information about popular religions. My reason for concern is that when their kids are studying the middle ages a lot of teachers assume that students are familiar with Christian beliefs and don't spend time explaining them. I think that parents should make their children aware of the impact religious beliefs have had on history and culture. I don't understand the reason for withholding information- quite frankly it may make their children more agnostic than ever!

ETA- I meant knowledge about different religions might make children decide to be agnostic.

JessSSutton · October 2013

So this seems to be less strange reading some of the other posts...there are others!!! (Bible belt resident here) I am a spiritual person but don't follow any region. My family is catholic and I always thought I would never consider rasing my kids catholic or sending them to catholic school util last spring when I did my student teaching at a catholic school. It was a wonderful experience all the teachers were highly qualified with masters degrees and the entire school including kids and parents really got behind me in support! They were so encouraging and even took time to help explain what was going on during mass (even though I pretty much knew). I had such a great experience I one am very interested in teaching at a catholic school (social studies not relegion of course) but also would send this LO to catholic school. Showed me to keep an open mind that's for sure!

TallaB · October 2013

DH is from a Catholic home and identifies as a Christian. He studied religion a lot in university and had great interest in many religions. But, he doesn't go to church regularly or study the bible anymore. I'm agnostic and come from an agnostic/catholic/atheist family (hey - we have a good mix!). While I don't believe in the church or bible, I do believe in higher power, and I would want my child to know enough to make their own decisions. I think the amount of religion are child learns will kind of be up to DH. But, I would never frown upon our child being informed. I attend holiday church with DH and have gone to church events with friends. It will be interesting to see which direction our future children choose!

janice9821 · October 2013

My husband's family is Catholic. I was brought up in a pretty unreligious home but baptized Lutheran.We doesn't regularly attend church. Our kids will be baptized but when they are old enough to be curious we plan to give them information and let them choose.

BiggerinRealLife · October 2013

hlm184 said:
We're agnostic as well, but we are having a godfather for our child and they can learn about religion with that person. If they express any interest in other religions, we'll accommodate that learning as well.

This is what my oldest friend did with her daughter. I'm her godmother, and she chose me because she wanted her daughter to learn about faith, and she said she respects mine. Her daughter's almost old enough to start visiting us over the summer and going to church camp with us. (We're in Cali and they're in D.C.) I can't wait!

katieharpiceland · October 2013

Both DH and I are atheist. However, i want to raise my child to be respectful of other people's beliefs. I honestly think a lot of my experiences in church when i was young were fun. However, then I went to Christian high school and started reading the Bible and the more I read the less I believed. If my child comes home one day and says she or he wants to go to church than I'm more than happy for them to go. Religion, in my mind, was my parents' thing until I was old enough to decide on my own. So, non-religion may be DH and I's thing and one day our child will decide what is right for them on their own.

edoliesmom · October 2013

kbuckleyharp said:

Both DH and I are atheist. However, i want to raise my child to be respectful of other people's beliefs. I honestly think a lot of my experiences in church when i was young were fun. However, then I went to Christian high school and started reading the Bible and the more I read the less I believed. If my child comes home one day and says she or he wants to go to church than I'm more than happy for them to go. Religion, in my mind, was my parents' thing until I was old enough to decide on my own. So, non-religion may be DH and I's thing and one day our child will decide what is right for them on their own.

I don't know if you said the above bold statement as more of a hypothetical scenario, or if you think it could actually be a possibility, but I had a question. If your child expresses an interest in going to church, would you take them there (assuming they can't get there themselves)? And if that interest grows into a passion, would you attend with them? I'm only asking because of other interests/hobbies/passions our children might have, parents are usually involved whether it be soccer games, plays, choir performances, etc. Asking purely out of curiosity.

katieharpiceland · October 2013

@SLSchuerg We live in a small city in a country with a state church. I'm imagining the scenario to be that my child has a friend that he or she wants to go with. I wouldn't go in that case. If they wanted to go with me, I would have no problem going. I have an easy time tuning out the language anyway. After that, we would explain to he or she that we don't believe in that and let them ask questions. It would be rare that they would go to the national church in our neighborhood and not know every kid and their parents there. I guess some bridges will have to be crossed when we get there. I'm not too worried! The biggest thing will be at 13 when kids get confirmed here. They always get a big party. Hopefully they'd be cool with just the party. Its similar to our sweet 16, a coming of age thing. I wouldn't dream of denying them that.

joyfullyfound · October 2013

DH and I are both Christians and will raise our kids with the hope they'll become Christians as well. Our beliefs teach that the only way to heaven is through belief in Christ and what he did for us, so obviously we want our kids to have a saving faith in Jesus. Denomination doesn't matter to us... just the core beliefs.

I should be clear that it isn't our intention to shut off our kids from the rest of the world, and teach them that our way of thinking is the only way. I think it's important to be educated about the world - the many different cultures, beliefs systems, and people groups that shape the world we live in, so we will teach them about other religions, just not with the purpose of them choosing whatever one appeals to them most. They'll be raised with me talking about God and Jesus,etc, as real things because I believe they very much are so.

Holljade · October 2013

Hubs says he doesnt believe in anything but he was raised in a catholic family and I think feel down if he HAD to choose a religion it would be catholic.

My mom is christian and my dad is jewish, I havent converted but I would love to call myself jewish (hey im a carrier for a disease for those with jewish ancestry that has to count for something, right? Its in my blood whether or not my mom is jewish.. at least thats what i tell myself to make me feel better...) ANYWHO when lils is enough I will go over both backgrounds, to be fair, but would love for her to carry out the jewish faith.

I am also exploring other forms of spirituality I am into the placemrnt of the stars and the magic of the earth (sorry that sounded cornybut I am too lazy to come up with betternwording)

Rogue237 · October 2013

I was actually raised without religion and loved it. My mom is someone that always reads and learns and she actually believes in God and Jesus but just not in organized religions interpretation all of the time. But that aside, she raised me with a knowledge of all religions and I feel it gave me a better understanding and acceptance of others. I ended up agnostic - I believe there is something more than just flesh and bone, but I don't think we'll ever be able to comprehend something of that magnitude or prove/disprove it. I liked @poru 's way of putting it and that's how I usually describe it - a higher energy. But I also think there are great core values in many religions - a lot of them being more similar than people think.

ricekez · October 2013

DH and I are both practicing Catholics and plan to raise our children in our faith. Not really an issue since we're a Catholic family.

ohbaby4 · October 2013

Ohhhh I love this thread! It is so interesting to see what everyone believes about this!
Both DH and I are very strong Christians and are very involved in our non-denominational church. We try to base everything we do off of our relationship with Christ and our understanding of the Bible, so our children will be brought up in that environment. We will raise our children to know Jesus and make their relationship with Him their greatest priority. With that being said, like many Christian PPs have mentioned, we believe in love and respect for everyone. Unfortunately, some "Christians" give the majority a bad reputation as they are not at all Christ-like with a lot of what they do and say. We intend on teaching our children to understand and respect other religions and beliefs, and to love everyone, regardless of their belief system.
I completely agree with what @BiggerinRealLife said about church community. Our church community is like our family and we can't wait for our LO to be a part of it. I loved going to church every Sunday, Wednesday, and any other time I could when I was younger, and I still do. I love learning more about the love and faithfulness of God, and I am so excited to share that with our children.
DH and I are also extremely passionate about missions and travel on a lot of mission trips with our church group. I really cannot wait to one day take our (older) children with us to help show love to others through humanitarian aid. I think it is so important for them to learn about love and compassion and to see the world beyond themselves, no matter what religion they choose to follow when they get older. So I am SO excited for that!

MamaFantastic · October 2013

haven't read the responses above yet.

we will raise (and have raised) or kids in a Christian home, and will pray they continue in their faith as they venture out as teens and adults.

Tferr02 · October 2013

My husband grew up in a Pentecostal church and I grew up in a Baptist church. To me, denomination really doesn't matter much, my parents let me go to a non denominational church, a Nazarene church and catholic services. The core beliefs are what matters to me, the small details and types of service are personal preference. My husband and I attend a more liberal baptist church now, but we will raise our son the same way, denomination doesn't matter, just find your home.

RocksInTheWater · October 2013

My DH and I were both raised in the Catholic church. He has 5 uncles that became priests and 1 aunt that became a nun! It was refreshing to get to know DH's family when we met because my family seems to have this Catholic=Republican thing that I just can't get behind but DH's family is much more liberal. It showed me that I can have my faith in God but not feel like I need to follow every conservative rule the Church continues to try to enforce. I know this is treading into political territory now. Back to the original question, we will plan on raising our children Catholic.

mskitty1985 · October 2013

My kids, dh and i are christians and are raising our unborn christian as well

Hmesh0421 · October 2013

I was raised Jewish and my fiancé is Christian. We have agreed to raise the baby with Jewish core beliefs but it will always know there are other religions out there and not everyone believes the same things. We want our child to go through the ceremonies as a Jewish child but when the child is older is has the freedom to explore and believe whatever it wants.

bingbongsmama · October 2013

Really interesting responses! I am Jewish culturally, but religiously am agnostic, DH leans more towards atheist. I like the community aspect of religion but don't believe in the doctrine/ideology. I will enroll my kids in a very liberal/open minded Sunday
school so they can learn about the culture without the religious aspect being a focus. I also love celebrating the holidays and cooking traditional foods so that's something I want to pass onto my children.

pannk · October 2013

ColleenSwerb said:

As I got older, I questioned more of the teachings/interpretations that were being taught and disagreed with things that were done. At 17 I got a job and I had to close Saturday and open Sunday. I was not upset to be at work instead of at church. To this day I have a hard time attending church. DH would much prefer we go as a family (he takes DS unless he's napping), but I don't feel right going and sitting there resentful of a homily that I disagree with. I usually try and zone out and see my own interpretation of the readings and the gospel, but sometimes I just can't. Our children will be raised Catholic and will attend Sunday school and all of that. But I will make sure that they understand that having a belief that differs from that of the church is not a bad thing.

Agreed! I think this is really important. The Catholic church in my town that I was raised in was a horrible representation of the Catholic church as a whole. They taught us things that I now know the universal Catholic church doesn't teach or believe. I resented my church and became very anti-Catholic in high school. Once I got to college, I started researching for myself what the Catholic church actually teaches/stands for/believes in, and I realized I agreed with a lot of it. Now I'm a Catholic by choice, and DH is converting because he has chosen the beliefs of the church as well. I think it's really important to realize that not every local Catholic church is the same.

Also, I think religion/faith/belief is an evolving process. I don't agree with absolutely everything the Catholic church teaches, but I'm constantly trying to understand and learn. We will raise our children Catholic, but will teach them WHY we believe something and encourage them to research and learn and ask questions.

Sarahjess06 · October 2013

I was raised Methodist, however when I told my mom at 11 I didn't want to go anymore it stopped.

We are both agnostic. We vaguely discuss god later on, if he shows interest we will go from there. Whatever he chooses to believe will be fine with us!

ortizem57 · October 2013

Husband and I are both strong Catholics and can't wait to raise our baby in the faith and teach them all about it!

LittleLady77 · October 2013

Rogue237 said:

I was actually raised without religion and loved it. My mom is someone that always reads and learns and she actually believes in God and Jesus but just not in organized religions interpretation all of the time. But that aside, she raised me with a knowledge of all religions and I feel it gave me a better understanding and acceptance of others. I ended up agnostic - I believe there is something more than just flesh and bone, but I don't think we'll ever be able to comprehend something of that magnitude or prove/disprove it. I liked @poru 's way of putting it and that's how I usually describe it - a higher energy. But I also think there are great core values in many religions - a lot of them being more similar than people think.

I couldn't have said this as well but this is our exact situation.

lcr23 · October 2013

ImnAtari said:
I was raised and am still Catholic. I'm not the best about getting to church, but I believe in (most) of the things the church teaches. My hubs is agnostic. We were married in the Catholic church, and as part of that we agreed and promised to raise our children in the Catholic church. This is something hubs and I discussed and agreed upon prior to our marriage. For that reason, I will be responsible for the religious education of our children. When I was a child, we were required to go to church and all religious education until our confirmation and then we were given the choice to go forward with being brought into the church as an adult. This is our plan as well.

For this reason, I also need to start getting back to church and stop being so lazy :-P

Same here! I feel bad about not going much ...

DaniSara21 · October 2013

We are Jewish. Plain and simple!

BiggerinRealLife · October 2013

@JellySparkles That's really sad. I would never dream of not letting my child be friends with someone because they don't believe the same things we do. How in the world are they supposed to grow if all the people they meet think exactly the same way they do? That sounds like a hard way to grow up. I know what it's like to grow up lonely, and I'm sorry you went through that.

BiggerinRealLife · October 2013

A14 may I just say that I'm really happy right now? I love discussing things when we can have an honest exchange of ideas, people can ask questions respectfully, and can share their experiences. I didn't expect tht this conversation would go south, knowing we have a lot of awesome, intelligent ladies on here, but am thrilled that no crazy has shown up to stir the pot. (Knock on wood!) I love hearing beliefs exchanged without people pushing theirs on others or haranguing someone for holding different beliefs. This is why I love this board. Well done, us.

avidkeo · October 2013

Hey, I know this may press some buttons and its genuinely not intended to and this is because of an outsiders impression of Americans (love you all and find you very very fascinating!!!).

Those of you who said you would want your children to learn about all/most religions and would support what ever they choose to believe, how would you feel if that religion was islam??

Knufflebunny2 · October 2013

We are LDS (Mormon). DH and I were both raised in the LDS church and although we did dabble a bit outside of the lines as teens, we eventually found our way back to it. We will raise our kids in our same faith, and as they get older they can decide weather or not it is for them. Either way, they will be loved and accepted.

janice9821 · October 2013

avidkeo said:

Hey, I know this may press some buttons and its genuinely not intended to and this is because of an outsiders impression of Americans (love you all and find you very very fascinating!!!).

Those of you who said you would want your children to learn about all/most religions and would support what ever they choose to believe, how would you feel if that religion was islam??

Personally, I'd respect their choice. I know a few Muslims and they are all lovely people. I think most religions have the potential to be good or bad depending on how they are interpreted and practiced. There are certainly extremists in more than one religious group!

katieharpiceland · October 2013

avidkeo said:

Hey, I know this may press some buttons and its genuinely not intended to and this is because of an outsiders impression of Americans (love you all and find you very very fascinating!!!).

Those of you who said you would want your children to learn about all/most religions and would support what ever they choose to believe, how would you feel if that religion was islam??

All religions means all religions, I think. :-) Its through my own research I came to my conclusions. If LO comes up with something different, that's ok too!

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