Discipline

Heyjordynhey · October 2013

DCKate · October 2013

Do not slap his hand. He's only 9 months old. I know it's really exhausting now that our babies are so mobile, but at your LO's age, he doesn't understand why he can't grab, reach, pull, etc. he's mobile and exploring his environment.

We do a lot of redirecting, and our living room looks like a maze of baby gates and barriers to keep our DD out of trouble! Couldn't you put something in front of the cable box?

nanabanana06 · October 2013

They really have zero concept of whats going on right now. Everything is new to them and smiling =/= comprehension. The only thing you can really do at this age is redirect and tell them 'No'. Nothing will truly stick until closer to 2 and that's when you start real discipline.

kjsmith9 · October 2013

Yup, redirection over and over again. And maybe put some baby gates up to keep him away. If he likes to bang, give him toys that promote that... like musical instruments (bongo, piano, etc), pots and pans, and other things that make noise.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

The user and all related content has been deleted.

jwebb0512 · October 2013

Holy cow, first let me say that some of the PPs are unnecessarily harsh! Although I agree, some people need to learn manners.

My son is also 9 months old and incredibly active! I don't smack my son's hand because I don't want him to learn it's ok to hit. At this point, I just redirect him, or distract him. I don't even use 'no' so much. I always explain to him...You can't pull mommies hair. It hurts mommy. Even though he doesn't understand right now, he will eventually, and 'no' looses meaning if that's all they hear. My son also likes to bang, so I got him a xylophone. He also like pots and pans, or sometimes he'll lay on the laundry room floor and smack the tile with his hand. Good luck!

ASmallWonder · October 2013

PPs were harsh? Where? Hitting a 9 month old is absurd. Child development is just as important to know as all the other stuff people research like car seats and vaccines. They aren't parenting him in a way that makes any sense and people were letting her know that. They're basically banging their heads against a wall because he doesn't understand what they think he should.

jwebb0512 · October 2013

MrsMuq said:
You can't discipline a 9mo.

Babies don't even understand the concept of discipline until between 18 and 24mo.

Try distracting your LO, or gosh darn, move the effing cable box to a place where he can't reach it.

Oh, and maybe read a book or two on infant/toddler development.

Problem solved.

This is harsh. There is a way to get your point across without being a jerk and making someone feel bad. If you continue reading my post, I said I agree with their responses and solutions. Hitting a 9 month, or any aged child, is not ok. I just don't agree with the way she presented it. It's called respect.

ASmallWonder · October 2013

Ok well you used a plural, implying more than one person. That person was really blunt but still. Someone who hasn't taken time to learn about child development needs the blunt truth.

DCKate · October 2013

I think it's ok to be blunt when someone would rather smack their 9mo's hand, instead of doing some parenting and putting up a baby gate. Sorry I'm not sorry.

BrittanyDoesDerby · October 2013

DCKate said:
I think it's ok to be blunt when someone would rather smack their 9mo's hand, instead of doing some parenting and putting up a baby gate. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Word.

Heyjordynhey · October 2013

MrsMuq said:

You can't discipline a 9mo.

Babies don't even understand the concept of discipline until between 18 and 24mo.

Try distracting your LO, or gosh darn, move the effing cable box to a place where he can't reach it.

Oh, and maybe read a book or two on infant/toddler development.

Problem solved.

Excuse me but there is no reason to get rude about it. I never said I have done anything to my child, i'm simply asking a question. there is NO reason for you to act like that. Maybe you should take a your own lesson and read a book about how to act like a decent human being.

Heyjordynhey · October 2013

OK let me clear this up. I NEVER SAID I HAVE HIT MY CHILD. I NEVER HAVE NOR WILL I EVER. I SIMPLY SAID THAT MY HUSBAND THINKS THAT'S WHAT SHOULD BE DONE. I NEVER SAID THAT IS WHAT WE DO. Maybe you all need to re-read before you decided to go off.

Just because I asked how to discipline my child doesn't mean that i beat him and it is aboustley unacceptable for you guys that are mothers to say the stuff you have. How old are we here? Act your age, read, and move on with your lives. If you can't read the post correctly maybe you shouldn't even post anything.

THANKS

BrittanyDoesDerby · October 2013

Lmao. All you can do is redirect and say not to do whatever it is and when he goes back to it you redirect again.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

Lol. The only person "going off" is the OP. Funny.

nanabanana06 · October 2013

@BettyandCo that's usually how it works!

Seriously OP. You've been given great advice. It also wouldn't hurt to read a book or two on baby/toddler development that way you know whats really going on in their little heads. This way you can treat them appropriately. It's not ok to hit a child at all. You need to inform your DH of that.

ASmallWonder · October 2013

Listen OP, my genuine advice is to read and research because, not to go all "you just wait" but this age is FAR from the most challenging you'll encounter. If your DH thinks for even a second that smacking is the answer to normal curiosity in a tiny person who doesn't know they're doing wrong, he's going to be screwed when faced with a 3 year old who deliberately does shit to straight up piss you off.

beccalee721 · October 2013

Heyjordynhey said:

OK let me clear this up. I NEVER SAID I HAVE HIT MY CHILD. I NEVER HAVE NOR WILL I EVER. I SIMPLY SAID THAT MY HUSBAND THINKS THAT'S WHAT SHOULD BE DONE. I NEVER SAID THAT IS WHAT WE DO. Maybe you all need to re-read before you decided to go off.
Just because I asked how to discipline my child doesn't mean that i beat him and it is aboustley unacceptable for you guys that are mothers to say the stuff you have. How old are we here? Act your age, read, and move on with your lives. If you can't read the post correctly maybe you shouldn't even post anything.

THANKS

Don't worry about the negative stuff people say to you on these boards. We do the hand tap too when our LO is grabbing to banging on something she isn't supposed to. And by "tap" I mean my one finger touches the hand that is doing something wrong and I say "no" and redirect her to something else to show her why I'm saying no. There's not much else you can do, in that aspect the other parents are right. I also tap her food tray and tell her to "eat" when she's refusing her eat a certain food I gave her. In both cases, it brings her attention to understand what I'm trying to tell her. But for someone to tell to you go read a book on child development is plain rude. Everything everyone asks on these boards could be answered by reading a book or doing research on the internet, we come here to get regular peoples' experiences.

Heyjordynhey · October 2013

beccalee721 said:

Heyjordynhey said:

OK let me clear this up. I NEVER SAID I HAVE HIT MY CHILD. I NEVER HAVE NOR WILL I EVER. I SIMPLY SAID THAT MY HUSBAND THINKS THAT'S WHAT SHOULD BE DONE. I NEVER SAID THAT IS WHAT WE DO. Maybe you all need to re-read before you decided to go off.
Just because I asked how to discipline my child doesn't mean that i beat him and it is aboustley unacceptable for you guys that are mothers to say the stuff you have. How old are we here? Act your age, read, and move on with your lives. If you can't read the post correctly maybe you shouldn't even post anything.

THANKS
Don't worry about the negative stuff people say to you on these boards. We do the hand tap too when our LO is grabbing to banging on something she isn't supposed to. And by "tap" I mean my one finger touches the hand that is doing something wrong and I say "no" and redirect her to something else to show her why I'm saying no. There's not much else you can do, in that aspect the other parents are right. I also tap her food tray and tell her to "eat" when she's refusing her eat a certain food I gave her. In both cases, it brings her attention to understand what I'm trying to tell her. But for someone to tell to you go read a book on child development is plain rude. Everything everyone asks on these boards could be answered by reading a book or doing research on the internet, we come here to get regular peoples' experiences.

EXACTLY that's all it is. We DO NOT hit our child nor will we ever. Every person has their own parrenting and if you do not agree with how i parent guess what i probably don't agree with the way you parent. who are you to judge or talk crap about how i treat my child. take some of your own advice before all yall go jumping on other. i'm pretty sure i'm not the only person that has the thought of tapping his hand. get over yourselves and move on with your life.

BrittanyDoesDerby · October 2013

I don't understand why you think that hitting their hand is necessary at all. It's not. It's completely useless and does nothing for the child, so why include it in your redirection?

ETA: These are babies we are talking about. Of course they are curious and getting into things. Have you thought about rearranging your place and putting things away to make it more of a peaceful and baby friendly environment? Him getting into things that you do not like is not his problem, but a problem where he has an environment that he can't explore freely. Obviously you most likely can't change everything, but you can probably change some things so it isn't driving you mad all day.

nanabanana06 · October 2013

So essentially OP you were looking for someone to tell you hitting your barely lived babies hand. Not listen to suggestions. Then get pissed at it. Why even ask the question in the first place.

ASmallWonder · October 2013

beccalee721 said:

Heyjordynhey said:

OK let me clear this up. I NEVER SAID I HAVE HIT MY CHILD. I NEVER HAVE NOR WILL I EVER. I SIMPLY SAID THAT MY HUSBAND THINKS THAT'S WHAT SHOULD BE DONE. I NEVER SAID THAT IS WHAT WE DO. Maybe you all need to re-read before you decided to go off.
Just because I asked how to discipline my child doesn't mean that i beat him and it is aboustley unacceptable for you guys that are mothers to say the stuff you have. How old are we here? Act your age, read, and move on with your lives. If you can't read the post correctly maybe you shouldn't even post anything.

THANKS
Don't worry about the negative stuff people say to you on these boards. We do the hand tap too when our LO is grabbing to banging on something she isn't supposed to. And by "tap" I mean my one finger touches the hand that is doing something wrong and I say "no" and redirect her to something else to show her why I'm saying no. There's not much else you can do, in that aspect the other parents are right. I also tap her food tray and tell her to "eat" when she's refusing her eat a certain food I gave her. In both cases, it brings her attention to understand what I'm trying to tell her. But for someone to tell to you go read a book on child development is plain rude. Everything everyone asks on these boards could be answered by reading a book or doing research on the internet, we come here to get regular peoples' experiences.

Honest question - why do you think actually bringing her attention to something isn't going to be more effective than tapping her hand to bring her attention to it. What I'm trying to say is that you're choosing a method of discipline that has no context for her. It's like yelling "FIRE" at an infant and expecting that they know to get out of the room. She doesn't know WHY you're tapping her hand. At this age, ALL you can do is say "Let's play with one of our toys" and take them away from the super cool thing they want to touch because anything else is beyond their comprehension level.

The fact that people don't understand that is the exact reason why people are saying to read a development book. It's not to be snarky - if you don't know, you don't know but someone suggesting that someone educate themselves shouldn't be taken as "Parenting: You're doing it wrong" but rather an opportunity to be the best parent you can be. You wouldn't put your kid in a car seat without reading the manual, right?

Kara011889 · October 2013

This whole thread is the reason I'm scared to post anything on this website.

Why do we as moms, who know how hard it is to raise a LO, bring each other down as moms. If you don't agree with the hand TAP, then simply say we don't hand tap because at this age babies won't understand that and I don't want to disipline my child physically. OP is clearly not abusing her child, so back off.

BrittanyDoesDerby · October 2013

Kara011889 said:
This whole thread is the reason I'm scared to post anything on this website.

Why do we as moms, who know how hard it is to raise a LO, bring each other down as moms. If you don't agree with the hand TAP, then simply say we don't hand tap because at this age babies won't understand that and I don't want to disipline my child physically. OP is clearly not abusing her child, so back off.

No one should be "tapping" a baby. There's no reason beyond just being a lazy parent to do that. There are plenty of other ways to get a baby's attention, why result to hitting in any form? This isn't so much directed at OP as it is to anyone already hitting their kids hand.

JFC, They're only babies for so long. Make their environments more suited to babies instead of smacking their hands when they do something you don't like.

And, honestly, if this stuff makes you hesitant to post here you need to get more secure in your parenting decisions or just avoid the bump.

honeydew01 · October 2013

Nicb13 said:

BrittanyDoesDerby said:

This whole thread is the reason I'm scared to post anything on this website.

Why do we as moms, who know how hard it is to raise a LO, bring each other down as moms. If you don't agree with the hand TAP, then simply say we don't hand tap because at this age babies won't understand that and I don't want to disipline my child physically. OP is clearly not abusing her child, so back off.
No one should be "tapping" a baby. There's no reason beyond just being a lazy parent to do that. There are plenty of other ways to get a baby's attention, why result to hitting in any form? This isn't so much directed at OP as it is to anyone already hitting their kids hand. JFC, They're only babies for so long. Make their environments more suited to babies instead of smacking their hands when they do something you don't like. And, honestly, if this stuff makes you hesitant to post here you need to get more secure in your parenting decisions or just avoid the bump.

Agreed. This site is awesome for advice and you have to learn to take some things with a grain of salt. Not a big deal at all.

I second this.

Heyjordynhey · October 2013

Kara011889 said:

This whole thread is the reason I'm scared to post anything on this website.

Why do we as moms, who know how hard it is to raise a LO, bring each other down as moms. If you don't agree with the hand TAP, then simply say we don't hand tap because at this age babies won't understand that and I don't want to disipline my child physically. OP is clearly not abusing her child, so back off.

amen. i couldn't of worded this better.

Heyjordynhey · October 2013

Nicb13 said:

You titled your post "discipline" on the 9-12 month board so some people might be confused because a 9 month old baby doesn't need discipline. If him going to the cable box is your biggest problem right now then I'd say you are doing good!
My 2 cents: pick your battles. Don't tell him "NO" to everything. Let him explore a little, figure out what sounds things make when he taps them, etc and just always have your eye on him. Just get used to constantly moving him away from things that he shouldn't touch, or move everything up higher.

this was the response i was looking for. not people bashing me.

thank you.

nanabanana06 · October 2013

Nobody was bashing you. Why do people getso freaking defensive when people don't agree with people? Like all we did was say "hey, don't "hit" your kid. Redirect them since they are so little. Maybe get some developement books to better inform yourself on whats going on.". That isn't an attack. Your just getting pissy cuz we gave you suggestions you didn't want to hear. Get over it.

Heyjordynhey · October 2013

ok thread closed. please don't comment on this anymore.

thank you.

ASmallWonder · October 2013

Heyjordynhey said:

ok thread closed. please don't comment on this anymore.
thank you.

LOL

mydixiewrecked · October 2013

LOL @ "thread closed". You don't get to make that call. I hope you follow some of the PP's advice and read a Parenting book. Even contemplating smacking or tapping a 9 month old child's hand is absurd.

myskyegirl · October 2013

amberdb72 said:

LOL @ "thread closed". You don't get to make that call. I hope you follow some of the PP's advice and read a Parenting book. Even contemplating smacking or tapping a 9 month old child's hand is absurd.

@amberdb72,

mydixiewrecked · October 2013

@prncebride

nanabanana06 · October 2013

Nana_Osaki06 said:

Nobody was bashing you. Why do people getso freaking defensive when people don't agree with people? Like all we did was say "hey, don't "hit" your kid. Redirect them since they are so little. Maybe get some developement books to better inform yourself on whats going on.". That isn't an attack. Your just getting pissy cuz we gave you suggestions you didn't want to hear. Get over it.

But, guise! She's not pissy because anyone gave her suggestions, but because there was some snark behind those suggestions.

OP, when you ask for advice on how to "discipline" a 9mo, it really is a red flag you need to read up on developmental milestones for your LO, and milestones/appropriate conduct going forward.

That was snark mild for TB.

Also, LOL at "thread closed" like OP has any say in the matter.

Heyjordynhey · October 2013

Okay, do you guys really have nothing else better to be doing with your time? If i put on here "thread closed", don't you take it as it's over. stop adding fuel to the fire. grow up and act like mothers instead of bullying people. seriously get a life.

mydixiewrecked · October 2013

Heyjordynhey said:

Okay, do you guys really have nothing else better to be doing with your time? If i put on here "thread closed", don't you take it as it's over. stop adding fuel to the fire. grow up and act like mothers instead of bullying people. seriously get a life.

No one bullied you,so knock that off. People responded in ways you didn't like. Do you actually live in a world where everyone you meet agrees with you? Life doesn't work that way,you were given good advice,quit acting like a brat and take some of it.

nanabanana06 · October 2013

Man, my 3 year old throws better temper tantrums than OP. Nobody here was mean or being a bully. You just didn't like what they said. Grow up. Stop acting like my toddler.

Heyjordynhey · October 2013

please explain to me how i'm acting like a brat? when someone simply states okay, let it go and go on with your lives then people continue to talk smack. that's not bullying? i forgot all you moms are perfecccccccccccct and have never ever ever done anything wrong.

I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!! AM I ACTING LIKE A BRAT NOW?

get over yourself

mydixiewrecked · October 2013

Definition of Brat-an ill-mannered immature person. Now,read your replies where you flipped out.

Definition of Bully-
Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively to impose domination over others.

Where were you "bullied"? If you don't want responses to your questions don't post on an open message board. Everyone has the right to respond,even if you don't like it.

Also, using a bunch of ccccccccccccccccc's made me laugh. Seriously,calm down,here...

BrittanyDoesDerby · October 2013

Heyjordynhey said:

please explain to me how i'm acting like a brat? when someone simply states okay, let it go and go on with your lives then people continue to talk smack. that's not bullying? i forgot all you moms are perfecccccccccccct and have never ever ever done anything wrong.

I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!! AM I ACTING LIKE A BRAT NOW?

get over yourself

Hey yo. I think you are taking the bump way too seriously. Step back from the computer. People offered you advice. You didn't like it. You got mad. Whatever. No one is going to leave you alone if you keep coming back here with oversensitive retorts, ALL CAPS, and a million exclamation marks...

ASmallWonder · October 2013

Heyjordynhey said:

Okay, do you guys really have nothing else better to be doing with your time? If i put on here "thread closed", don't you take it as it's over. stop adding fuel to the fire. grow up and act like mothers instead of bullying people. seriously get a life.

No, what you did was delete your question, which is the same as "Screw you guys, I'm taking my ball and going home" and then proceeded to try and manipulate the thread by saying it was "closed." You don't get to decide that. No one bullied you. People told you that you were not parenting in a way that was on par with your daughter's cognitive abilities. If you asked your pediatrician how to discipline your child, told her you tapped her hand and your doctor told you that your daughter was too young to understand why you were doing and comprehend what your desired change in outcome would be, would you say she was bullying you? No. That's all anyone here was saying. You guys thought you had a method. That method won't get you your desired outcome. That's a fact, despite your reluctance in believing it.

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