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July 2012 Moms
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Open Discussion follow-up?

Boing214Boing214 member
in July 2012 Moms

I know last week we opened up about our problems in our relationships and what we really wanted. @emilypc, you had a very straightforward discussion with your H, have you guys continued forward and gone to counseling like he agreed to? Has anyone else had a breakthrough just in this week? Anything new?

I was straightforward with MH about how upset it makes me when he snips and is mean about things and he told me that he feels like I'm always arguing about everything. So I stopped. I decided that when he makes a comment that could lead to an argument I would bite my tongue and just be silent. He's noticed I think and has gotten less likely to say them and has thought over his comment and actually apologized faster. We haven't had a fight in two days now. It's been amazing, since lately it has been at least every other day, if not every day, that we argued. I'm actualy happy to be around him. I haven't brought up the infidelity again yet, I think we need to have a counselor there to help lead us through it and he's been so busy that there's been no time.

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Re: Open Discussion follow-up?

  • Boing214Boing214 member
    @bellaxanthe I think the fact that you have it planned out will help with starting it. You know what you need to say. And the lube can't hurt... ;) Hopefully it works for you.

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  • Pandril19Pandril19 member
    edited October 2013

    Umm.. I got irritated the other night and told him that I gave up and walked off to the bedroom to read.  :-/  

    It didn't lead to any grand discussion and I hadn't intended it to (I just suddenly needed to be somewhere else doing anything other than trying to plan tomorrow's dinner), but he seemed thoughtful when I was ready to resurface. 

    There were a few jokes on the last thread about chore charts.... I actually _did_ make a chart, I just made it general and for both of us without labeling who would do each activity.  (More like a house checklist.)  It didn't work.

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  • Boing214Boing214 member
    @Pandril19 I actually thought about doing something similar when he told me I basically didn't do anything around the house. Just making a list with a spot next to each item to put initials and the date it was done. I will if he starts acting like an asshole again about it.

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    Even a minor event in the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world event.

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  • Pandril19Pandril19 member
    Heh - @mightybee - I feel for everyone affected by furloughs (whether govt or private) but I have to admit, I think TheBoy and I could actually benefit at the moment from having the work part of the work/life balance forcibly removed. 
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  • Barefoot84Barefoot84 member
    Checklist :  https://howcanibeyourloverq.com/  In the middle of the page, you can download a checklist for those having issues with the sharing of chores. You can then adapt it to your situation, especially in regards to LO. 

    I didn't share in the first open discussion, because I think I would end up being book-length, but a lot of good advice was given, and mostly the general support has been helpful. Relationships are soooo hard.  :(
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  • zyaszyas member
    @cpasley I'm glad to hear things are going a bit better! I hope they continue that way :)

    @bellaxanthe I love the idea of the checklist that you can initial beside. I may have to implement something like that eventually.

    @hibiscus29 Have fun on your date night! :) Hopefully it will do you guys a world of good! 

    Right now my H and I are getting a break from each other even though things have been going pretty good the last couple weeks. However now that I'm away it's a bit strained as he has everything to look after on his own. Also he really did not want me going away. He'll never stop me from going but he doesn't understand my closeness to my family. He thinks it should just be the 3 of us (him, me and Ava) and that's all that matters. 

    He was being kind of an ass on the phone a couple nights ago as he was just overwhelmed with stuff and I so felt like lashing out and saying that I was just going to stay out here at my parents with Ava and not come home at all. That would have gone over VERY badly. So it's a good thing I bit my tongue on that one, lol.



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