Am I overreacting??

iluvchris27 · October 2013

H goes to daycare and I really have no complaints with them, we really lucked out and they have been so wonderful since day one. This daycare has 3 infant rooms and he was moved to the second one in June since he's more mobile now. Most of the kids that are in his room, he has been with since starting at 6 weeks old. There is this little girl in his room that is a biter, She has now bit H 3 times. The last time she did it, she also bit the teacher and another little girl in the same day. They claim she's teething but now I'm not so sure. The director moved her to the 3rd infant room the last time it happened to give everyone a break from her, she should technically be in the other room but she's so small that they are afraid she will get trampled in there.

I'm starting to get upset that this keeps happening. My DH thinks I'm overreacting and that these things just happen but I feel like this is just a little ridiculous. His poor arm looks terrible. The director was upset the last time it happened because the teacher didn't tell her about it and she was going to talk with her. The same teacher was in there yesterday, she's young and still in high school and I don't know if she's not paying attention to them or she's just overwhelmed. My DH takes him and picks him up and said he would talk to them but I highly doubt he will because he thinks I'm overreacting.

What do you guys think? Am I overreacting or do you think this is serious and I need to have a one on one with the director?

I also understand that they are little and these things happen but I just feel like they are happening too often.

AmySmolos · October 2013

I'd be upset too but I tend to overreact a little when it comes to my ds. But I understand things happen but when it's constant something needs to change for your LO's well being. Now as to what the daycare should do I don't know but I would ask what's being done to address it and what the repercussions will be if it continues.

Megispreg · October 2013

I'm sorry. I'm sure I would be upset to see my child get hurt, too.

Just to offer another perspective, my friend's son is a biter. It's stressing her out, but how do you really deal with the behavior at this age? He's too young to control impulses or think of consequences. All you can really do is watch them very closely I guess. Her son is also small, and she feels like it's a defense mechanism for him.

I don't think it would hurt to have a conversation with them about it. Maybe the teacher needs a helper.

britvahok · October 2013

I would be very upset and request a meeting with the director. 3x seems like a lot but I'm also very protective

iluvchris27 · October 2013

Megispreg said:

I'm sorry. I'm sure I would be upset to see my child get hurt, too. Just to offer another perspective, my friend's son is a biter. It's stressing her out, but how do you really deal with the behavior at this age? He's too young to control impulses or think of consequences. All you can really do is watch them very closely I guess. Her son is also small, and she feels like it's a defense mechanism for him. I don't think it would hurt to have a conversation with them about it. Maybe the teacher needs a helper.

I totally get what you are saying and that's why I've been pretty understanding up until now. The more I think about it, the more I think it's partly the teachers fault. They have all kinds of signs and instructions in his room on what needs to be done, they have all also been talked to by the director on what to do. I'm not trying to jump to conclusions but I feel like maybe she just isn't watching them closely enough.

NeneCakies · October 2013

Bite your H a few times. Bet you'd see some over reacting then. You, however, are not. DC needs to fix the sitch!

MoFree · October 2013

I would also be upset if that happened. I understand that little children sometimes bite but 3x is too much. I would call the director to express your concern.

Jessica Swanlake · October 2013

You are totally in the right to be upset. The child is not teething. Some kids are like puppies- they nip at things to try them out. Most centers have rules about biters. Since she is too young to understand rules they should keep a closer eye on her. If the teacher is overwhelmed by the child perhaps they can move someone into her classroom to try and keep the situation under control. Call the director.

iluvchris27 · October 2013

Thanks Ladies! I try to pick him up on Friday's when I get off early so I will talk to the director then and see what she has to say. I can almost guarantee the teacher didn't tell the director it happened again. They didn't tell her when it happened the second time and she was livid when I picked him up that day. If she knew, I would think she would have been waiting to talk to my husband about it.

RNbock2 · October 2013

DS1 was a biter I felt so bad, went home crying, thinking that I was failing at parenting. Then, around 18/19 months it stopped.

I totally understand your frustration. I hope they resolve the situation.

ks3pink · October 2013

DD was a biter and trust me that parent is just as upset as you. If you want to speak with the director fine but be careful how you word things because instead of getting the teacher in trouble you might get the child kicked out. If it hadn't been for my family ties to DD's daycare she likely would have been kicked out and if have had to quit school and work. It's bad for everyone but just think about both sides!

mrs mosby · October 2013

As a parent of a former biter it is rough on both ends. I was mortified when my daughter bit another kid at daycare. It's a little different because we use an in home so I've gotten to know the other families and they know my DD. but either way I would talk to the director to express concern and make sure everyone is on the same page and knows what is going on. At this age they can tell the biter no and redirect but it's not going to stop overnight.