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shower etiquette with PGAL/PAIF caveat

BzeetyDBzeetyD member
in Pregnant after IF
Here's a question for you gals -

Do I include on the guest list (I'm supplying to my gracious shower throwers) addresses for people who are out of town/who can't make it?

Slight caveat - since this bean is a long time coming, many people seem extra excited for us, not saying that means they want to attend a shower but I'm sure some of you have the same situation/feelings expressed so that's why I'm asking you and not the baby shower board.

I'm keeping my shower list to those friends/folks we see regularly, currently - it is not a list of everyone I've ever known. I have certainly gotten a shower invite where I think "really?, me?" so I'm playing this close to the heart. I don't personally see shower invites as gift grabby things, but I understand that some might.

Examples under consideration:
my sister in law who lives many many states away?
One of my lifelong/best friends - ditto?
Someone from a group of my mom's friends where the rest of the group is likely coming - ditto?

Thanks!

BzeetyD = 38, Mr. BzeetyD = 44 together 12/02 married 9/08
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues

Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013

Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

Moving on to IVF.

IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14

After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
We are so in love with her.

"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

Everybody is welcome!!!
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Re: shower etiquette with PGAL/PAIF caveat

  • Crystal120410Crystal120410 member
    I would think you should extend the invitation to them. They may not come but may want to send a gift or will get butt hurt if you don't send one. An invite isn't an obligation.
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  • Gr8teGr8te member

    My MIL asked me to send invites to her out of state sisters, so I did. DH and I only invited close friends or those who we've given lots baby stuff to over the years. Overall, I think people like to be included. We had a 90% turnout.

    ~ Everyone Welcome ~
    TTC: 05/2011 Me: 32, All Clear DH: 38 Dx: MFI Low Testosterone & 1% Morphology
    IVF #1 w/ICSI & IMSI, 12/03/12: ER: 27R, 20M, 15F
    4 blasts frozen (3BA 4BA 4BB 5BB) b/c of moderate OHSS
    FET #1: 02/08/13 Transferred 3BA & 4BA | HPT 5dp5dt BFP!

    10dp5dt Beta #1 - 810 | 12dp5dt Beta #2 - 1843 BabyFetus Ticker
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  • TJ1979TJ1979 member
    I didn't send an invite to my SIL because she lives on the other side of the country, and I knew she couldn't come.  Turns out her feelings got hurt for not being included.  So I would say send them to people who you would want to be there, if they could come.  So they know you were thinking about them and want them there.  But also totally understand that they can't make it.
    I don't think I have ever gotten a baby shower invite and thought they were just gift grubbing.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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  • 74dragonfly74dragonfly member
    Id send the invites. The only invite I ever got that I felt was gift grabby was from my manacurist after I moved across the country.




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  • BeeBee08BeeBee08 member
    I would say send the invite.  If they can't come, they will still be happy they were invited.

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

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  • hootie123hootie123 member
    I would invite the people on that list too. 
     TTC #1 since 6/09
    Dx: PCOS and MFI
    3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
      3rd RE: IVF #5/FET = BFP
    14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573
    1st u/s=    TWINS!
    It's a Boy and a Girl!

    Born at 34w3d! 
     

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  • PhillyJ33PhillyJ33 member
    I would invite them as they are close family/friends.
    Me 36/DH 46 Me: Low AMH (.21) DOR, mild endo; Started seeing RE 11/12
    Jan-March '13 3 IUIs Clomid + Trigger = BFN
    April '13 IVF 1 MDLF converted to 4th IUI due to 3 runaway follicles! BFN
    July/Aug '13 IVF 1.2 Long Lupron = 7R, 6F, 2T= BFP!!!
    Beta 1=512, Beta 2=1,368 Beta 3= 4,128
    It's a boy!!!!
    SUA, GD
    EDD 4/26/14

    He's Here! Arrived 4/15/14!!!!

    September 2015 - FET with remaining embryos
    Twins! EDD: 6/14/15

    PAIF/SAIF Everyone welcome!
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  • RoseHQ12RoseHQ12 member
    Another vote for sending the invites!
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Peanutz21Peanutz21 member
    I think it's polite to extend an invite to people even though they live far away because you don't know if they'd be able to come or not.

    I was somewhat miffed when my BIL's wife who lived in california at the time (i live in NJ) had her first shower - obviously her MIL (also my MIL and who lives in NY) was invited.  I would have totally gone with my MIL - we could have flown to california together.  But alas, I wasn't even invited ....  ouch.

    TTC#2
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Our little IVF miracle born 5/7/2014
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • imoveritimoverit member
    Crystal120410 said:

    I would think you should extend the invitation to them. They may not come but may want to send a gift or will get butt hurt if you don't send one. An invite isn't an obligation.

    All of this!!
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  • VegasGal1978VegasGal1978 member
    My shower planners sent invites to out of staters who were family or close friends. Anyone who was not that close didn't get an invite. We actually had family from NV and a friend from NY attend (we are in MA). It was great to see them!
    Can't figure out the signature thing, so here's the short, short version.....first daughter born on November 10, 2013. She was conceived through the magic of IVF after 2+ years of TTC.
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  • Julie21613Julie21613 member
    Crystal120410 said:
    I would think you should extend the invitation to them. They may not come but may want to send a gift or will get butt hurt if you don't send one. An invite isn't an obligation.
    This.. exactly....We sent an invite to my aunt who lives on the west coast... she would have been devastated if she had not received an invite... we knew she wouldn't be able to come....but she called my mom first telling her how she loved the invite then immediately called me. 
    Me 35, DH 36
    TTC summer 2008
    Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
    IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
    IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
    IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
    IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
    Mental health break for 10 months
    IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
    IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
    7 fertilized transferred 3
    Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
    First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
    IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
    3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet.
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome! Its a girl! 

    Maggie Grace is here!  10/5/13... 8lbs 6 ounces of pure joy!

    TTC#2  No birth control since DD was born.  Getting ready to jump back in the saddle.  Weaning this month. RE
    appt scheduled 5/8.   Here we go again!

    IFV# 6.  10/27  6 retrieved 4 mature 3 fertilized.  2 made it to 3dt 10/30. 1"very pretty 8 cell" and 1 6 cell.  Beta
    11/13.   Please stick embies!!!!  We love you so much already! 11/12/14  POAS, BFP... beta tomorrow!
    11/13 beta #1  924!!!  2nd bet 11/15 1906, one more on 11/17 3rd & final beta 3430.  First u/s 12/5, 7w4d, 2 heartbeats,
    both measuring right on track....2nd u/s... all is well... both beans measuring right on track... released from RE... first
    appointment with MFM 1/5.  Looks like this is really happening!

    image




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