shower etiquette with PGAL/PAIF caveat

BzeetyD

Here's a question for you gals -

Do I include on the guest list (I'm supplying to my gracious shower throwers) addresses for people who are out of town/who can't make it?

Slight caveat - since this bean is a long time coming, many people seem extra excited for us, not saying that means they want to attend a shower but I'm sure some of you have the same situation/feelings expressed so that's why I'm asking you and not the baby shower board.

I'm keeping my shower list to those friends/folks we see regularly, currently - it is not a list of everyone I've ever known. I have certainly gotten a shower invite where I think "really?, me?" so I'm playing this close to the heart. I don't personally see shower invites as gift grabby things, but I understand that some might.

Examples under consideration:
my sister in law who lives many many states away?
One of my lifelong/best friends - ditto?
Someone from a group of my mom's friends where the rest of the group is likely coming - ditto?

Thanks!

Crystal120410

I would think you should extend the invitation to them. They may not come but may want to send a gift or will get butt hurt if you don't send one. An invite isn't an obligation.

Gr8te

My MIL asked me to send invites to her out of state sisters, so I did. DH and I only invited close friends or those who we've given lots baby stuff to over the years. Overall, I think people like to be included. We had a 90% turnout.

TJ1979

I didn't send an invite to my SIL because she lives on the other side of the country, and I knew she couldn't come.  Turns out her feelings got hurt for not being included.  So I would say send them to people who you would want to be there, if they could come.  So they know you were thinking about them and want them there.  But also totally understand that they can't make it.
I don't think I have ever gotten a baby shower invite and thought they were just gift grubbing.

74dragonfly

Id send the invites. The only invite I ever got that I felt was gift grabby was from my manacurist after I moved across the country.

BeeBee08

I would say send the invite.  If they can't come, they will still be happy they were invited.

hootie123

I would invite the people on that list too. 

PhillyJ33

I would invite them as they are close family/friends.

RoseHQ12

Another vote for sending the invites!

Peanutz21

I think it's polite to extend an invite to people even though they live far away because you don't know if they'd be able to come or not.

I was somewhat miffed when my BIL's wife who lived in california at the time (i live in NJ) had her first shower - obviously her MIL (also my MIL and who lives in NY) was invited.  I would have totally gone with my MIL - we could have flown to california together.  But alas, I wasn't even invited ....  ouch.

imoverit

Crystal120410 said:

I would think you should extend the invitation to them. They may not come but may want to send a gift or will get butt hurt if you don't send one. An invite isn't an obligation.

All of this!!

VegasGal1978

My shower planners sent invites to out of staters who were family or close friends. Anyone who was not that close didn't get an invite. We actually had family from NV and a friend from NY attend (we are in MA). It was great to see them!

Julie21613

Crystal120410 said:

I would think you should extend the invitation to them. They may not come but may want to send a gift or will get butt hurt if you don't send one. An invite isn't an obligation.

This.. exactly....We sent an invite to my aunt who lives on the west coast... she would have been devastated if she had not received an invite... we knew she wouldn't be able to come....but she called my mom first telling her how she loved the invite then immediately called me.