Where Will Your Baby Sleep?

RedSoxGirl10 · October 2013

I just realized that the recommendation for SIDS is having the baby in my room for 6 months. Yikes. My friend's doctor told her 6 weeks was fine. Either way, I'm looking at a period of time where the baby will not be sleeping in his crib.

I was originally planning to buy an Uppa Baby Vista stroller which comes with a bassinet that the baby could probably sleep in. However, I think I'm going to go with a snap and go, and then jogging stroller instead. I am registering for a Graco Pack and Play with "bassinet" - can the baby safely sleep in that?

I would consider a cosleeper but my side of the bed is basically against a wall, so I don't know how useful that would be.

I swear I will finish this registry soon and stop constantly asking baby product questions!

azzyberry · October 2013

Both my kids slept in their Pack n Play for the first 9 months in my room and this baby will do the same.

inluv4life2 · October 2013

We used a pack n play for a while, too. We had the bassinet part but didn't really like it and used the main PNP surface instead. It's totally convenient.

Madelyn0713 · October 2013

The baby will sleep in our room for awhile. We are getting pack and play and a bassinet. One will be in the bedroom, the other will stay downstairs.

ziggy903 · October 2013

PNP here.
although we're in a one bedroom apartment, so even when we move to a crib baby will be in our room.

MissDemeanor · October 2013

I'm borrowing a co-sleeper from a friend, even though they are now illegal here. But we're also considering putting a day bed/twin bed in the nursery, so one of us can sleep there occasionally, while the other gets to sleep uninterrupted. But we're first time parents, so I guess really we just have to play it by ear.

SuzyQq02 · October 2013

Not sure yet. The nursery shares a wall with our room, so we're hoping that well be able to put her straight into the crib with both doors open (shed literally be about the same distance ffrom my head as she would be at the foot of the bed). But if we do want to room in, I think our only option would be the rock n play, a pack n play or co sleeper won't fit. Maybe a Moses basket and stand could also be an option.

Ladyburd · October 2013

Hi everyone,

Great conversation! Just went to a class on safe sleep and wanted to share things that can help reduce SIDS and other sudden death accidents due to sleeping conditions.

1. Reduce soft bedding (i.e. pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, toys, and bumpers). There are sleep sacks that can be used to keep babies warm that are more safe than blankets. You can find them at target.

2. Place babies on their back to sleep. Babies are nasal breathers and due to their physical development they cannot turn their heads or bodies if their nose is blocked by soft bedding or other objects. This also true of their chest and bellies if continually pressed on.

3. Co-sleeping is super convenient for exhausted parents but can be very dangerous if the child is accidently rolled on or shifts due to movement by the co-sleeper in the bed or on the couch.

4. Pacifiers can help prevent death from airway constriction because they provide a barrier b/w the nose and soft bedding allowing air to flow in and out of the nose.

5. While there are always acceptions to the rule, most infants are at risk from birth to 4 months due to the lack of head/body control.

6. If the baby is sleeping in a carrier or anything where they are not laying flat make sure they're buckled in. This can help stop them from sliding down and reducing their airway capacity.

7. Most babies that died ( at least in our area - VA) due to the environment had a separate sleep area that was not used.

8. Babies that died from their environment typically did not cry.

For more info please google safe sleeping conditions for babies. I'm sure there is more that I'm missing. Not trying to scare anyone but empower mommies! Whatever you choose for your baby's sleeping conditions make sure you educate all caregivers that may watch your child during their sleep time for safe care. Some deaths can be prevented.

JordyInIndy · October 2013

DD slept in a PNP next to my side of the bed and it really worked for us so that's what we will do with this LO.

TreeOLife · October 2013

She will be sleeping in her crib, in her room. No blankets, only a tight fitted sheet on crib mattress.

karich · October 2013

My babies have always been in a cosleeper attached to my bed for the first few months (really, until they can sit up in it). We've also been known to do some bed sharing.
These arrangements have more to do with the fact that I exclusively nurse my kids, and this is much more convenient for me. I actually get more sleep when my babies are near me at night. The reduced SIDS risk is just a bonus.

emm57 · October 2013

DS slept in our room for the first 7 months then I transitioned him to the crib in his room. In our room he started out in the PNP with the bassinet. After a month of no sleep and screaming laying flat we found out he had silent reflux and was put on Zantac and told to use an incline to sleep. We used the RNP for about 3 months.

I did a lot of research on the RNP and flat head, basically there wasn't a lot of padding between the fabric cover and the hard plastic support. I folded up a receiving blanket and placed it between the cover and the plastic. I only let DS sleep in it at night. During nap time he slept in a swing and I was able to reposition his head differently at naps. I also offered a lot of tummy time and propping with a hoppy when he was awake. We never had an issue with flat head.

After the RPN I transitioned him back to the PNP, w/o the bassinet, while still in our room up until we transitioned to the crib.

slwprincess · October 2013

We have a bassinet but have used a PNP in the past- both work fine. Baby moved to nursery around 4 mos. this is also when they both started STTN.

karich · October 2013

@car seat, I took it as....babies who died because their sleeping environment was unsafe, had their own separate sleep area that wasn't utilized. For example, sleeping on the couch with mom, when their crib was available.

Mazingmommyof6 · October 2013

LO will be in a bassinet in my room

AngLK987 · October 2013

we had a bassinet for DD, I gave it away, we want a rock n play for this one, it takes up less space, and would have been great for my DD's reflux, pending this baby has it too we'll already be set, after about 5 months DD moved to her own room, when she outgrew the bassinet we put the crib in our room for a little while then moved it back to her room, this time we'll just use the pnp if we need to transition early.

Ladyburd · October 2013

@ car seat @ karish. You are correct most babies that died a preventable death had a safe sleep area such as a crib that was not used. These babies typically died sleeping in the bed or on a couch with a caregiver.

CarynJeanG · October 2013

Not exactly a proud moment... BUT... DD slept in her bouncer for a good 4-5 months. It's the only way she would sleep.

thusain7712 · October 2013

I am a huge fan of the bassinet right by the bed. i like the smaller size than the PnP and how easy it can roll from one room to the next.

with my first, he was in my room till 18months...my second five months. he snored like there was no tmr (ended up having surgery at 18months) so no one was getting any sleep. putting him in his own room helped a ton for this tired mama.

our masters is downstairs so he'll be in our room for a while

keags5496 · October 2013

With DS we started him in a PNP in our room. We moved him into his crib at about 3 weeks because I wasn't sleeping at all with him near me and was actually waking him up way more than I needed to because I was a nervous nelly about every little snort.

I plan to start this LO in a PNP too and just see how it goes.

versed · October 2013

We had DS in the arms-reach cosleeper for the first 7m and then in my bed for 7m after that. We'll do about he same for this little one.

versed · October 2013

Also want to add that there is no increase to the risk of SIDS when bed sharing if the safety guidelines are followed.

From https://www.askdrsears.com/news/latest-news/dr-sears-addresses-recent-co-sleeping-concerns

*Cultures who traditionally practice safe co-sleeping, such as Asians, enjoy the lowest incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

*Trusted research by Dr. James McKenna, Director of the Mother-Baby Sleep Laboratory of the University of Notre Dame, showed that mothers and babies who sleep close to each other enjoy similar protective sleep patterns. Mothers enjoy a heightened awareness of their baby’s presence, what I call a “nighttime sleep harmony,” that protects baby. The co-sleeping mother is more aware if her baby’s well-being is in danger.

*Babies who sleep close to their mothers enjoy “protective arousal,” a state of sleep that enables them to more easily awaken if their health is in danger, such as breathing difficulties.

*Co-sleeping makes breastfeeding easier, which provides many health benefits for mother and baby.

*More infant deaths occur in unsafe cribs than in parents' bed.

*Co-sleeping tragedies that have occurred have nearly always been associated with dangerous practices, such as unsafe beds, or parents under the influence of substances that dampen their awareness of baby.

* Research shows that co-sleeping infants cry less during the night, compared to solo sleepers who startle repeatedly throughout the night and spend 4 times the number of minutes crying. Startling and crying releases adrenaline, which can interfere with restful sleep and leads to long term sleep anxiety.

* Infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone. This means baby sleeps physiologically safer.

* A recent large study concluded that bed sharing did NOT increase the risk of SIDS, unless the mom was a smoker or abused alcohol.

For safe co-sleeping:

We recommend using a bassinet that attaches safely and securely to parents’ bed, which allows both mother and baby to have their own sleeping space, while baby still enjoys sleeping close to mommy for easier feeding and comforting.

If bed-sharing, practice these safe precautions:

*Place babies to sleep on their backs.

*Be sure there are no crevices between the mattress and guardrail or headboard that allows baby’s head to sink into.

*Do not allow anyone but mother to sleep next to the baby, since only mothers have that protective awareness of baby. Place baby between mother and a guardrail, not between mother and father. *Father should sleep on the other side of mother.

*Don’t fall asleep with baby on a cushy surface, such as a beanbag, couch, or wavy waterbed.

*Don’t bed-share if you smoke or are under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or medications that affect your sleep.

slwprincess · October 2013

CarynJeanG said:
Not exactly a proud moment... BUT... DD slept in her bouncer for a good 4-5 months. It's the only way she would sleep.

No judgement here! Mine slept in their beds mostly but I absolutely remember nights where they slept in the swing/bouncy. Whatever worked! Especially if they were congested- that was the only way any of us could sleep!

AKAP2010 · October 2013

DS slept in a Moses basket in his crib from day one and so will this one. The nursery is 2 steps from our room. I wake to every noise so having them in our room would not be good for my sleeping. I have also heard that a ceiling fan can reduce chances of SIDS. Don't know if its true but we installed one anyway. After he was too big for the basket he went into the crib with nothing!!! We swaddle until like 5 months. Once he was moving all over we have him a blanket.

Babyhull4 · October 2013

My baby will be in our room in the pack N play.

karich · October 2013

They d

TyrannosaurusLex said:
I'm agonizing over this right now. I have a PnP already from my home daycare, but it doesn't have the bassinet attachments I'd need to use it effectively next to our bed.
So I've been looking at the "arms reach" cosleeper, which looks enormous, and I'm worried will be too high for our pretty low bed (Ikea Malm). So do we buy a new bedframe just so this one piece of baby equipment works for us for a few months? This is getting expensive.
Considering a moses basket/stand, but don't know much about them.
All I know is I'm already a delirious mess when woken from sleep, and I can't imagine it will get any better when my sleep deprivation is compounded by a newborn, so I'd really like to be able to sit up in bed to nurse etc without having to stand up or walk anywhere.
I want to be able to reach over and pick the baby up without major back strain.
RnP's aren't allowed in Canada, and I'm wary of using a swing for sleeping at night for the same flat head reasons.
This is the first baby issue that has me really panicked.
</blockquot

Arms Reach does make a mini cosleeper, which is a lot smaller than the full size one, and is less expensive.
I think the cosleeper is invaluable.

Mazingmommyof6 · October 2013

TyrannosaurusLex said:
I'm agonizing over this right now. I have a PnP already from my home daycare, but it doesn't have the bassinet attachments I'd need to use it effectively next to our bed.
So I've been looking at the "arms reach" cosleeper, which looks enormous, and I'm worried will be too high for our pretty low bed (Ikea Malm). So do we buy a new bedframe just so this one piece of baby equipment works for us for a few months? This is getting expensive.
Considering a moses basket/stand, but don't know much about them.
All I know is I'm already a delirious mess when woken from sleep, and I can't imagine it will get any better when my sleep deprivation is compounded by a newborn, so I'd really like to be able to sit up in bed to nurse etc without having to stand up or walk anywhere.
I want to be able to reach over and pick the baby up without major back strain.
RnP's aren't allowed in Canada, and I'm wary of using a swing for sleeping at night for the same flat head reasons.
This is the first baby issue that has me really panicked.

Is you bed too high or too low or is the side rail in the way? They do make adapters to raise the co sleeper to the height of the bed. I used one and had to move the mattress and box spring all the way to the side so I felt comfortable.

dadalou · October 2013

We have zero room for a baby in our room. It is tiny. DD slept in her crib in her room across the hall from day one. This baby will do the same. We just haven't decided if we are going to have them share a room or not yet.

shellbell3845 · October 2013

We got the Graco version of the RNP. I liked it because it could be flat or inclined. I'm going to see how it works in our room. We might also use the PNP. Baby will definitely be in our room for a few months. I was reading this thread before I went sleep last night, and I was trying to picture a baby sleeping by my side of the bed. Holy cow!

Sweets11 · October 2013

We use a bassinet for the first 12 - 14 weeks and then bed share (according to guidelines) until they're ready for the crib.

It worked with DD, but every baby is different.

Sweets11 · October 2013

NextVerseUnknown said:
Also want to add that there is no increase to the risk of SIDS when bed sharing if the safety guidelines are followed.

From https://www.askdrsears.com/news/latest-news/dr-sears-addresses-recent-co-sleeping-concerns

*Cultures who traditionally practice safe co-sleeping, such as Asians, enjoy the lowest incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

*Trusted research by Dr. James McKenna, Director of the Mother-Baby Sleep Laboratory of the University of Notre Dame, showed that mothers and babies who sleep close to each other enjoy similar protective sleep patterns. Mothers enjoy a heightened awareness of their baby’s presence, what I call a “nighttime sleep harmony,” that protects baby. The co-sleeping mother is more aware if her baby’s well-being is in danger.

*Babies who sleep close to their mothers enjoy “protective arousal,” a state of sleep that enables them to more easily awaken if their health is in danger, such as breathing difficulties.

*Co-sleeping makes breastfeeding easier, which provides many health benefits for mother and baby.

*More infant deaths occur in unsafe cribs than in parents' bed.

*Co-sleeping tragedies that have occurred have nearly always been associated with dangerous
practices, such as unsafe beds, or parents under the influence of substances that dampen their awareness of baby.

* Research shows that co-sleeping infants cry less during the night, compared to solo sleepers who startle repeatedly throughout the night and spend 4 times the number of minutes crying. Startling and crying releases adrenaline, which can interfere with restful sleep and leads to long term sleep anxiety.

* Infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone. This means baby sleeps physiologically safer.

* A recent large study concluded that bed sharing did NOT increase the risk of SIDS, unless the mom was a smoker or abused alcohol.

For safe co-sleeping:

We recommend using a bassinet that attaches safely and securely to parents’ bed, which allows both mother and baby to have their own sleeping space, while baby still enjoys sleeping close to mommy for easier feeding and comforting.

If bed-sharing, practice these safe precautions:

*Place babies to sleep on their backs.

*Be sure there are no crevices between the mattress and guardrail or headboard that allows baby’s head to sink into.

*Do not allow anyone but mother to sleep next to the baby, since only mothers have that protective awareness of baby. Place baby between mother and a guardrail, not between mother and father. *Father should sleep on the other side of mother.

*Don’t fall asleep with baby on a cushy surface, such as a beanbag, couch, or wavy waterbed.

*Don’t bed-share if you smoke or are under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or medications that affect your sleep.

Thank you! We went to prenatal courses and they taught us the same thing.

We were also taught that the rolling over on your baby while sleeping thing is almost an old wives' tale.

Most injuries/deaths happen from unsafe practices (mentioned above).

boogerbearoriginal · October 2013

I think the most important thing is to do things safely, whether it's in a crib or your bed or a bassinet in your room.

When LO was first home, we put him in the bassinet part (it was basically a raised whole surface of the PnP not the sleeper that some have) of the PnP. At ~8wks, H kept coming in to find me asleep in bed but sitting up, with LO on my lap because I had zonked out nursing him at 3a. That's when we decided it was time to start bed-sharing because what was happening wasn't safe. We set up the crib along side the bed as a cosleeper, so one side was taken off and mattresses were flush (we lucked out everything lined up perfectly). And LO started off in his crib, but would end up next to me. I researched safe bedsharing, and made sure to do everything right. Never worried about rolling onto baby, often we'd wake up in the same place we fell asleep and he was able to roll over, latch on and nurse and we'd both get extra sleep. Right before turning 2, we transitioned him out and LO is now sleeping mostly through the night (some times he wakes 1x rarely twice) in his own room/bed. And interestingly when he wakes up he calls for me to come to him, he's stopped coming up into our bed on his own. I mention that because some people will act like kids will never want their own bed if you bedshare ever. My experience, and that of people I know who've also bedshared, have not found that to be true at all. Children will naturally crave more and more independence as they grow, including their sleep space.

I plan to do the same for #2, for the first 4-6m at least but I'd like to move LO out of our room sooner than 2yrs. We're thinking around 1yr-18m max, but we'll see how it all works out. We had zero issues with the transition for #1, and I think it's partly because he was old enough/ready to be out so it wasn't something we forced on him.

Regarding the RnP/flathead, I've known people who used them without issue so I can't help but wonder how much is situation dependent and not the item itself. We used it for day time sleep and never had a concern about his head/neck, in fact, he never got a bald spot so many babies get on the back of their head. If you constantly have LO on her back in a seat - carseat, swing, etc. you're going to run the risk of those issues. And some kids are more prone to wry necks which can worsen flat head. We tried to lessen our risk by holding LO, or using the carrier, in lieu of swing/bouncy seat.

RedSoxGirl10 · October 2013

It's so interesting to get these many different opinions, and reinforces my idea that we may just have to see what works for us after the baby is born

Right now I don't think cosleeping is for us, but I fully admit if I get exhausted enough I might be willing to try to do it safely so I'm going to save all the advice on how to do that. I think it's comments like the one above that "only the mother has protective instinct" that scare me away. It's impossible to make such generalized comments about every mother/father in the world. I'm sure there are many situations where the father has a much BETTER protective instinct than the mother.

But really, I think it's great that there are so many options for babies so that we can find the things that works best for our family and of course, the baby himself!

BioGirl21 · October 2013

Our son will sleep in his crib but it will be in our room since we have a one bedroom apartment. Our bed and the crib will be on opposite walls and if I feel the need to have him closer, we'll get a bassinet or a RNP, a PNP won't fit in the room.

We plan on getting a two bedroom apt after our lease is up in June but if it doesn't happen it's not a big deal to me. I figure if he's crying in a separate room, I have to get up, go to the room and get him. This is just eliminating one of the steps.

versed · October 2013

RedSoxGirl10 said:

It's so interesting to get these many different opinions, and reinforces my idea that we may just have to see what works for us after the baby is born

Right now I don't think cosleeping is for us, but I fully admit if I get exhausted enough I might be willing to try to do it safely so I'm going to save all the advice on how to do that. I think it's comments like the one above that "only the mother has protective instinct" that scare me away. It's impossible to make such generalized comments about every mother/father in the world. I'm sure there are many situations where the father has a much BETTER protective instinct than the mother.

But really, I think it's great that there are so many options for babies so that we can find the things that works best for our family and of course, the baby himself!

The idea is that the mother has a protective "awareness" that is extra finely tuned while breast feeding. You seriously awaken to every rustle or sigh. It's also been proven that women are biologically programmed to be woken by high-pitch sounds (I.e. Baby cry) while men are biologically programmed to awaken by low-pitch sounds (I.e. A predator or burglar). While my husband would put his life on the line for our children, he's rolled on me in his sleep without knowing so there's no way I'd let a defenseless baby sleep next to him. DS slept between me and a bed rail.

So yes, these statement are made based on biological programming. Women were programmed to sleep with and nurse infants. This does not mean everyone chooses this route, but like men can't nurse, men weren't programmed to be aware of and to protect an infant while it sleeps.

orchid8301 · October 2013

NextVerseUnknown said:

RedSoxGirl10 said:

It's so interesting to get these many different opinions, and reinforces my idea that we may just have to see what works for us after the baby is born

Right now I don't think cosleeping is for us, but I fully admit if I get exhausted enough I might be willing to try to do it safely so I'm going to save all the advice on how to do that. I think it's comments like the one above that "only the mother has protective instinct" that scare me away. It's impossible to make such generalized comments about every mother/father in the world. I'm sure there are many situations where the father has a much BETTER protective instinct than the mother.

But really, I think it's great that there are so many options for babies so that we can find the things that works best for our family and of course, the baby himself!

The idea is that the mother has a protective "awareness" that is extra finely tuned while breast feeding. You seriously awaken to every rustle or sigh. It's also been proven that women are biologically programmed to be woken by high-pitch sounds (I.e. Baby cry) while men are biologically programmed to awaken by low-pitch sounds (I.e. A predator or burglar). While my husband would put his life on the line for our children, he's rolled on me in his sleep without knowing so there's no way I'd let a defenseless baby sleep next to him. DS slept between me and a bed rail.
So yes, these statement are made based on biological programming. Women were programmed to sleep with and nurse infants. This does not mean everyone chooses this route, but like men can't nurse, men weren't programmed to be aware of and to protect an infant while it sleeps.

This makes me feel horrible. I rolled over on my son and the only way I knew was because my husband woke me up. We kept my son in our room in a cradle 99.9% of the time and my husband would always wake up first. I always thought he was a light sleeper and I am a heavy one. I know it seems like a silly comment to make, but I wonder why I wasnt given this mother intuition.

versed · October 2013

CrisM022 said:

NextVerseUnknown said:

RedSoxGirl10 said:

It's so interesting to get these many different opinions, and reinforces my idea that we may just have to see what works for us after the baby is born

Right now I don't think cosleeping is for us, but I fully admit if I get exhausted enough I might be willing to try to do it safely so I'm going to save all the advice on how to do that. I think it's comments like the one above that "only the mother has protective instinct" that scare me away. It's impossible to make such generalized comments about every mother/father in the world. I'm sure there are many situations where the father has a much BETTER protective instinct than the mother.

But really, I think it's great that there are so many options for babies so that we can find the things that works best for our family and of course, the baby himself!

The idea is that the mother has a protective "awareness" that is extra finely tuned while breast feeding. You seriously awaken to every rustle or sigh. It's also been proven that women are biologically programmed to be woken by high-pitch sounds (I.e. Baby cry) while men are biologically programmed to awaken by low-pitch sounds (I.e. A predator or burglar). While my husband would put his life on the line for our children, he's rolled on me in his sleep without knowing so there's no way I'd let a defenseless baby sleep next to him. DS slept between me and a bed rail.
So yes, these statement are made based on biological programming. Women were programmed to sleep with and nurse infants. This does not mean everyone chooses this route, but like men can't nurse, men weren't programmed to be aware of and to protect an infant while it sleeps.

This makes me feel horrible. I rolled over on my son and the only way I knew was because my husband woke me up. We kept my son in our room in a cradle 99.9% of the time and my husband would always wake up first. I always thought he was a light sleeper and I am a heavy one. I know it seems like a silly comment to make, but I wonder why I wasnt given this mother intuition.

Oh no, don't feel horrible! I also don't completely trust myself and my instincts, so I follow a little trick I read : if you sleep on your side with "under arm" (left arm when on your left side) straight out, you can't roll into your own arm. So, I slept on my left side with left arm out and baby sleeping pretty much in my armpit. I liked the added assurance that it was physically impossible to roll on him.

RedSoxGirl10 · October 2013

I have heard about women being programmed to wake up to higher pitched sounds and I definitely think in most situations, this is probably true. However, what about women who can't nurse for one reason or another? I'm sure there are also women who (like the above poster) could easily roll over on a baby because they are a heavy sleeper or just THAT tired, or who knows why. I just think it's hard to make blanket statements about what all women and/or all men can or will do. We all have to know ourselves and use tricks like the one you mentioned etc.

I guess I'm just over sensitive to comments like this that just make women feel bad. Isn't there enough to feel guilty/bad about in motherhood? I'm not even there yet and I already feel like pregnancy is one big game of guilt after another.

mom2case · October 2013

Interesting facts put out there! Thanks for all the info. DD slept in a bassinet from day 1. It was right next to my side of the bed so we were as close as possible without co-sleeping. She moved to the crib at 4 months.

Oasismomma · October 2013

We set up a PnP and a RnP in our bedroom before DS1 was born and then ended up cosleeping with him. We are planning to cosleep from day one with DS2.

becausemom · October 2013

J used bed guards and slept with me for a month. I found out he had reflux and moved him to the bouncer. He transitioned to a crib in my bedroom at 4 months and didn't move to his own room until a year.

Isabella will use a PNP in my room and I will go from there.

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