Teen pregnancy??

seannasmommy16 · October 2013

So, I like to hear people opinions. I love knowing what people honestly think.
Here's another question I have for you ladies. What are your thoughts on teen pregnancy?
I myself am I teen mother. I was 15 when I got pregnant with my daughter, her biological father walked out the day we found out we weren't having a boy. We haven't heard from him since then. It was a scary time for me, I was alone with just me and my mom, when I had her I was freaked out thinking that my life was over and I couldn't do this. I was crying everyday and so worried I would fail as a mother.. I dropped out of high school at 16 and I was convinced that that was going to be it for me, but then something clicked in my head and everything changed, I got my ged and now I'm going to school to be an ultra sound technician. And I love my daughter more then anything on this earth.
My thoughts on teen pregnancy are, if you can't step up to the plate and realize what's it's going to be like being a mom and no longer a teenager then you need to find another option then being a parent. I know plenty on teen moms who never see there kids and are always partying .
Once again. What are your thoughts?
Sorry for the long background story, I just thought I would share my experience as a teen mother.

BiggerinRealLife · October 2013

That's quite a story. Thanks for sharing it, and your perspective. I'm not sure how to answer such an open-ended question though. Are you asking for thoughts in general on teen pregnancy? Or if we agree with your thoughts on teen pregnancy? I guess I'm just trying to figure out what motivated your question so you can get opinions on what you're asking.

seannasmommy16 · October 2013

BiggerinRealLife said:
That's quite a story. Thanks for sharing it, and your perspective. I'm not sure how to answer such an open-ended question though. Are you asking for thoughts in general on teen pregnancy? Or if we agree with your thoughts on teen pregnancy? I guess I'm just trying to figure out what motivated your question so you can get opinions on what you're asking.

I'm asking what your thoughts are on teen pregnancy, how do you feel about " babies having babies " just general thoughts on the whole concept of teen pregnancy

Medic99 · October 2013

I think it really depends on the teenager. There are some teenagers who could handle it and others who could not. I personally don't think it is the best thing to happen to a teenager but it is definitely not the worst thing that could happen either. When you are a teenager you are still figuring out what you want to do with your life and all that changes to varying degrees when you get pregnant as a teen. Edit because I hit enter too soon.

Sheybre · October 2013

Well, I really don't think anyone thinks "wow, a 16 yr old having a baby.. How wonderful!" But if it does happen, I think it is a great thing that you step up to the plate and still strive to better the lives of you and your child. I couldn't imagine having a baby so young so I really applaud you for staying strong and fighting to reach your goals! I do think that is wonderful.

seannasmommy16 · October 2013

Sheybre said:
Well, I really don't think anyone thinks "wow, a 16 yr old having a baby.. How wonderful!" But if it does happen, I think it is a great thing that you step up to the plate and still strive to better the lives of you and your child. I couldn't imagine having a baby so young so I really applaud you for staying strong and fighting to reach your goals! I do think that is wonderful.

Thank you ma'am

BiggerinRealLife · October 2013

aviola329 said:
I think it's a shame when it happens because it limits/constrains the teens choices in life in a way that they wouldn't necessarily be otherwise. That being said, there are plenty of teen parents who step up to the plate and do what they need to do for themselves and their children and end up making a pretty great life....and there are others who never make that choice and their children suffer for it.

I think that teens who become pregnant, and the fathers, need to take that positive test as a wake up call and make serious and realistic decisions about what they are willing and able to do for a child, and they need to be able to be selfless in that decision and do whats truly best for the child.

This. Said everything I wanted to say. It's certainly not something I would hope for my son or daughter, or for any of the high school kids i mentor, but it's definitely not the end of the world either.

Although, to the limited choices point, I will say that when I was 17 my best friend got married and tried to get pregnant right away. All she ever wanted to be was a wife and a mom. So for some kids it's part of their plan and aren't "limited and constrained" in their eyes. That being said, she didn't tend to make great choices in general. She didn't get pregnant right away, thank God, and I often wonder now how her life turned out...

Marusika · October 2013

The worst thing is that most of teenagers who are getting pregnant are getting abortions, killing their small helpless babies... And then have regrets all their life..or worse, don`t even have regrets.

Teenage pregnancy happened all the time, and will happen no matter how much we educate them... but they must feel supported by their parents and society no matter what.

Avion22 · October 2013

I guess I don't really have any "thoughts" on teen pregnancy. Am I supposed to?

Clearly there are some teen moms who make things work, and some who don't. Just like all moms. I don't think being a teenager automatically means that someone will be a bad parent, just like being an adult doesn't mean that someone will automatically be a good parent.

I have some friends from high school who were dating, and the girl got pregnant. I think they were 16. They got married once they were legally old enough, and they are still married (and have a few more kids now I think), 16 years later.

Statistics show that teen pregnancy has decreased significantly over the last few decades. I kind of feel like society has failed kids, in a way, when teenagers end up pregnant. I guess I think teen pregnancy is probably the result of a lack of educational programs? I'm not sure what else we should do, as a society, to further prevent teen pregnancy.

emanresu14 · October 2013

I personally am conflicted with teen pregnancy. Obviously I am relieved when they step up like you! It seems like you made the best of things and that is great! I am positive it's a very difficult road! I'm a FTM at 26 and settled down. Still pretty terrified. I can't imagine how you must have felt. I guess my point is, some people fail as parents no matter what their age is! I have seen people fail when they are older and stable. Perhaps that is a sadder (aka worse in my eyes!) story than accidentally becoming a teen parent.

Edit: butterfingers. :-<

katieharpiceland · October 2013

My thought is if America would accept that teens are going to have sex, instead of trying to fight it with ridiculous ideas like abstinence only education, a lot of these births could be prevented. Also, if a teen DOES have one, we should have a safety net in place to help them finish high school. Its not ideal but ostracizing these girls (because America NEVER seems to pick up that there are fathers involved in this) is NOT helping. Not every teen will have sex but the resources to protect themselves if they do should be readily available. That's my thought. Educate!!!

cjpell0 · October 2013

I have mixed feelings. As many of you mentioned, if the teens can step up, great. If not they'll need options. My mom had me when she was 16/17, my parents get married and my grandparents helped them out a ton. My mom went to college and has her masters, and my parents stayed together for almost 10 years before getting a divorce. That being said, my moms emotional growth is definitely stunted to that of a teenager, which can be attributed to my birth. I also frequently get guilted by my family to be more involved with my mom since she gave up so much of her life to give me a good one. My mom and I fight like sisters. Due to all of this, I often wish I was aborted or adopted. Not because I want to die but because I don't think the amount of guilt is worth it

GoldenGibson · October 2013

The only thoughts I have on this topic are related to the fathers in teen pregnancies. It seems like more often than not they skip out on their child's life when they are a teen parent and get away with it which really sickens me. The mothers are often forced to step up and care for the child they both made together but the dads feel like they have a choice. I'm sure there's a small percentage of fathers that stick around but definitely not the majority.

MarcyElizabeth · October 2013

My mum had her first baby at 16, sadly she was still born. She got pregnant again at 18 with my brother, at 21 with me and 25 with my other brother. My dad has always been there for her and they are still together to this day. I have so much respect for teen parents who accept the responsibility and step up to the plate.
There are however a lot of people who don't use contraception and think it'll be a walk in the park until the babies daddy walks out and they realise it's not at all. I've seen it many times and it's sad

I guess what I'm saying is I don't think many people actually plan to be a teen parent, it just happens and to the people that step up to the plate and accept their responsibilities I have a lot of respect!

Long post! Oops

DemoDoll · October 2013

I don't have any formed opinions on teen pregnancy. I've never known a teen who was pregnant and haven't been affected by it at all so I don't have an opinion one way or the other.

I applaud the OP for being such a strong woman though! That's awesome and I would be pretty proud of what you are doing for yourself and your daughter.

J&NL · October 2013

What's to think about honestly? Yeah, it's sad that teens that young have to grow up so quickly and essentially put their life on pause to raise a baby but I know a lot of good teen moms that are successful so I know it's not the end of the world. Just do what you need to do. That's the life you chose (or chose you) and now you have to reap what you sew.

maelic · October 2013

I support better, safer, easier access to abortions along with the obvious increase in availability of birth control and more comprehensive sex education. Teens will have sex. Hopefully we can minimize unintended pregnancies with education and, at the same time, offer more options to those teens who do end up pregnant, including schooling, health insurance, and a social safety net.

And for those teenagers who choose to not be pregnant, cheap and safe abortions, with counseling if they so desire, and no parental notification necessary.

NicoleAnne416 · October 2013

It sucks. I feel that for many of them, the father skips out, the teen mother is still figuring out who she is, school can be hard with a baby/child and who will watch that baby/child? I always hope their parents have the means to help, daycare if they work, too, etc. But it does happen. Some are more able than others (like you) and that's great. I just found out my cousin is in high school and due in february. Only a few people know and when i came out with my own pregnancy, my aunt messaged me and told me. I told her "every baby is a blessing" and "congrats" but yes my initial thought was "that's sad because this will cause a strain for my little cousin. But it can be done, and it can be done right, so I try to see the positive and be supportive of any teen parent.

KatieGummow · October 2013

I got pregnant at 16 and gave the baby up for adoption. There was no way I was ready. With my mom a single parent with three kids, two of which in college, and on a teacher's salary, there was no way I could give that special baby what he deserved. We found an awesome family who deserved the baby much more than I did. It's an open adoption, and I luckily get to text/call/facebook with his mom when I want.

I can't say I can blame the pregnancy on my parents' divorce, or the lack of having a dad role model. It was my stupid choice to start having sex so young, and carelessly use protection. It is honestly the best feeling ever to plan this pregnancy and decide that over 10 years later I am ready for this. So, I consider myself a FTM, because I am. Wow. Weird...

I do know a friend a year younger who also got pregnant a year after me, and she and the dad are married, happy and have three kids now. To each their own.

BiggerinRealLife · October 2013

@KatieGummow I have so much respect for you. And don't think it's weird at all that you call yourself FTM. this is the first time you're stepping into the role if mother, even though you've had a biological child before. Makes perfect sense to me.

Rogue237 · October 2013

My parents had my brother at around 18. Luckily for them it worked out and they are still together and happy and they waited 8 years to have me, but it's definitely a situation that's different depending on the teenager and their situation and personality.

isamaraguirre · October 2013

Hi there,

I think teen pregnancy is a problem, and I don't think that where you come from or what your background is has anything to do with it.
I have lived in bad neighborhoods, I went to horrible schools and I didn't get pregnant.

I believe that lack of information could be the problem. Parents should take the initiative and talk to their teens about sex and the consequences of it. Too bad that there aren't enough responsible parents that do this with their kids.

Ps.
I'm glad you are taking the necessary steps to succeed in life!

Avion22 · October 2013

mummyofsix said:

Marusika said:

The worst thing is that most of teenagers who are getting pregnant are getting abortions, killing their small helpless babies... And then have regrets all their life..or worse, don`t even have regrets.

Am I the only one who can read this? *looks around* Its showing up on others peoples screens too, yes?

It made me so upset that I chose to ignore it rather than say something that I will probably regret. And I didn't want this to turn into a post about abortion. But yeah, I disagree with that statement.

Sisimama10 · October 2013

Avion22 said:

mummyofsix said:

Marusika said:

The worst thing is that most of teenagers who are getting pregnant are getting abortions, killing their small helpless babies... And then have regrets all their life..or worse, don`t even have regrets.

Am I the only one who can read this? *looks around* Its showing up on others peoples screens too, yes?

It made me so upset that I chose to ignore it rather than say something that I will probably regret. And I didn't want this to turn into a post about abortion. But yeah, I disagree with that statement.

I thought it was someone joking or saying that just to start drama so I just ignored it. I didn't even think it might be an actual comment. Lol

mskitty1985 · October 2013

I was a teen mom as well as mom, she got prego at 14 with me and got prego with my bro at 16... She was hurt when she found out i was prego as a teen,im 28 tmaro! But i was like u were a teen mom too... Anyway i dnt want my kids to be teen parents because my child hood was gone and i had two kids and now im expecting my third nine years later.i want my kids to enjoy their childhood and have kids when they are adults

myschlove · October 2013

Good for you for stepping up to the plate and keeping things together!

As far as abortions go, I will say that I am pro-life. It makes me sad that there are young girls that feel like that's their only option and struggle with the lack of support.

As far as teen pregnancy goes. I personally believe in waiting until you're married to have sex. My husband and I both waited and I feel we're blessed for doing so. That being said obviously that's not always the common mindset. Sex and teen pregnancies especially with very young girls I feel take away some of their childhood. It causes them to grow up really fast and it's a very highly emotional thing. I believe it's something that with a good support system can work out but even at 29 I find I get overwhelmed by it all, I imagine it's incredibly overwhelming for a young pregnant teen!

katieharpiceland · October 2013

Sisimama10 said:

mummyofsix said:

Marusika said:

The worst thing is that most of teenagers who are getting pregnant are getting abortions, killing their small helpless babies... And then have regrets all their life..or worse, don`t even have regrets.

Am I the only one who can read this? *looks around* Its showing up on others peoples screens too, yes?

It made me so upset that I chose to ignore it rather than say something that I will probably regret. And I didn't want this to turn into a post about abortion. But yeah, I disagree with that statement.
I thought it was someone joking or saying that just to start drama so I just ignored it. I didn't even think it might be an actual comment. Lol

Yea, I chose to sidestep this one too.

thomas930 · October 2013

Avion22 said:

mummyofsix said:

Marusika said:

The worst thing is that most of teenagers who are getting pregnant are getting abortions, killing their small helpless babies... And then have regrets all their life..or worse, don`t even have regrets.

Am I the only one who can read this? *looks around* Its showing up on others peoples screens too, yes?

It made me so upset that I chose to ignore it rather than say something that I will probably regret. And I didn't want this to turn into a post about abortion. But yeah, I disagree with that statement.

I'm sure we all saw it but after lasts nights post about the same thing, I think everyone was probably to upset to even feed the drama.

Rogue237 · October 2013

kbuckleyharp said:

Sisimama10 said:

mummyofsix said:

Marusika said:

The worst thing is that most of teenagers who are getting pregnant are getting abortions, killing their small helpless babies... And then have regrets all their life..or worse, don`t even have regrets.

Am I the only one who can read this? *looks around* Its showing up on others peoples screens too, yes?

It made me so upset that I chose to ignore it rather than say something that I will probably regret. And I didn't want this to turn into a post about abortion. But yeah, I disagree with that statement.
I thought it was someone joking or saying that just to start drama so I just ignored it. I didn't even think it might be an actual comment. Lol

Yea, I chose to sidestep this one too.

Exactly. Not touching it with a 10 ft pole.

melissashogan · October 2013

Let me start by saying that I believe some teens could certainly be capable of being great parents. However, my 16 year old cousin just had a baby and will not spend more than a few hours alone with her claiming she can't take care of her by herself. She also posts pictures of her baby in a baby doll stroller which cant be safe since she is too young to hold up her own head. She has already left the baby with her parents for the weekend so she could go partying and commented on facebook that her life was over and she would never be able to do things again since her sister was too busy to babysit. My brothers 17 year old girlfriend is also pregnant, still smoking, dyeing her hair every week, and posting on facebook all kinds of drama. The problem with many teens having babies is that they tend to be selfish. Again that is just in my experience and certainly does not mean that all teen mothers are selfish or immature.

AcaAwkward · October 2013

kbuckleyharp said:

Sisimama10 said:

mummyofsix said:

Marusika said:

The worst thing is that most of teenagers who are getting pregnant are getting abortions, killing their small helpless babies... And then have regrets all their life..or worse, don`t even have regrets.

Am I the only one who can read this? *looks around* Its showing up on others peoples screens too, yes?

It made me so upset that I chose to ignore it rather than say something that I will probably regret. And I didn't want this to turn into a post about abortion. But yeah, I disagree with that statement.
I thought it was someone joking or saying that just to start drama so I just ignored it. I didn't even think it might be an actual comment. Lol

Yea, I chose to sidestep this one too.

Ditto. I just don't have the energy deal with this one at the moment.

BiggerinRealLife · October 2013

isamaraguirre said:
Hi there,

I think teen pregnancy is a problem, and I don't think that where you come from or what your background is has anything to do with it.
I have lived in bad neighborhoods, I went to horrible schools and I didn't get pregnant.

I believe that lack of information could be the problem. Parents should take the initiative and talk to their teens about sex and the consequences of it. Too bad that there aren't enough responsible parents that do this with their kids.

Ps.
I'm glad you are taking the necessary steps to succeed in life!

This. Ohmigosh if parents were to take the initative! So many are content to let schools teach sex ed/beliefs/morals for them, and as we all know there are SO MANY problems with how schools teach/are allowed to teach kids about sex. I absolutely intend to have regular, open, age-appropriate dialogues with my children about sex. So does my husband. But that's a common problem in schools: almost everything would be more effective if parents took initative and got involved. (/educator rant)

bingbongsmama · October 2013

I don't think being a teen mom automatically means you are doomed. It certainly makes life harder and you need a strong support system which it sounds like you had in your mom.

I had my first child in my late 20's and have found that having a kid means that studying, traveling and having other life experiences are put on hold or become a lot more challenging. I do feel like teen moms miss out on a lot of life experiences because of this.

AcaAwkward · October 2013

First, OP, I majorly respect you for rising to the occasion for your daughter and furthering your own education / career after having such a major life hurdle thrown up against you. I am sure you are great mom, and I bet when she is older your daughter is going to be very proud of you.

Thoughts on teen pregnancy... Generally speaking, I think our children need and deserve better education about and access to birth control. None of this Abstinence Only Bullshit. I think we as parents also need to take major responsibility in this arena and not stick our heads in the sand when it comes to thinking about our kids as sexual beings. I have major, major respect for my parents in this regard -- they were always very open and honest with me about sex. As a result, I grew up with a healthy respect for sex and was 100% safe when I did choose to have sex (at 17, with a serious boyfriend I ended up dating for 3 years). I think so many parents are afraid that if they acknowledge that their children have sexual desires, their kids will think it's okay to be super promiscuous... I think the opposite is actually the case.

Thinking a bit more specifically... Now that I have a daughter, it's difficult for me to hear about teen pregnancy without automatically thinking about how I'd feel if she were in that situation. Honestly, I would hope she would either choose adoption or abortion. Adoption would be my personal preference, but I would understand completely if she chose to terminate -- pregnant teenagers face such stigmatization that I would never ask or demand she suffer through months and months of dirty looks and behind-the-back whispers if she wasn't emotionally ready to face that kind of reaction from her community. If she chose to keep her baby, I would support her in any way I could, but I would most definitely mourn the loss of her adolescence and of educational / personal growth opportunities.

edoliesmom · October 2013

Avion22 said:

I guess I don't really have any "thoughts" on teen pregnancy. Am I supposed to?

Clearly there are some teen moms who make things work, and some who don't. Just like all moms. I don't think being a teenager automatically means that someone will be a bad parent, just like being an adult doesn't mean that someone will automatically be a good parent.

I have some friends from high school who were dating, and the girl got pregnant. I think they were 16. They got married once they were legally old enough, and they are still married (and have a few more kids now I think), 16 years later.

Statistics show that teen pregnancy has decreased significantly over the last few decades. I kind of feel like society has failed kids, in a way, when teenagers end up pregnant. I guess I think teen pregnancy is probably the result of a lack of educational programs? I'm not sure what else we should do, as a society, to further prevent teen pregnancy.

^ Yes, one point I was thinking of exactly. For some teens it's a wake-up call, and they get on the ball and do what they need to do. For other teens, it's not, and they try to push the baby off on their parents so they can still be a kid. But on the other hand, adults can be that way too. One of my sister-in-laws is exactly this way, and it's a shame.

However, while I agree there should be better education that provides information and birth control, it's not completely up to society or schools or whoever to educate teens about sex; it needs to start at home. I more or less grew up under Christian influences, so naturally I knew what was expected of me: wait until marriage to have sex. But I never got "the talk" from my mother, and sex was just never brought up. Thankfully, I didn't end up pregnant, but guess who did? My younger sister. She's 17 years old with a 6 month old daughter. While she's come a long way and matured over the past year, she still makes bad choices sometimes and puts herself first at times when she absolutely should not.

So, while I can personally name two wonderful women whose lives turned out great despite being a teen mom (and maybe even BECAUSE they were teen moms), I can safely say it is just not an ideal situation for a teen to get pregnant any way you look at it. It makes their life more difficult than it should ever have to be at their age, but I'm always grateful when they take responsibility for their choices and choose to be a selfless, loving parent.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

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lilmama412 · October 2013

P&B715 said:
The only issue I have with teen pregnancy is MTV glorifying it. All my friends in HS had kids and it wasn't fun for them I don't wish that upon anyone. The main positive thing about teen pregnancy is the miracle at the end. More power to anyone that is a teen or a single mother and can continue to do what is best and right for their babies.

I don't think MTV glorifies it at all. In fact I think their intent was the opposite. They show the good, bad and ugly of being a teen mom. It shows the dads promising them the world and then walking out, it shows all of their friends being able to go out when they can't. How these moms have to drop putt of school because they can't be a mom and finish high school. It's very real and shows real issues. Real being used realitivy because all those dumb shows are scripted to hell.

seannasmommy16 · October 2013

Coming from a teen mom, I deffently don't want this for anyone.. I love my child to the moon and back, but till this day I still struggle, I ask for help on a Daliy basis and I'm always worried she will fall into the same place I did.. I just wish I had more of myself togother before she came along. But she's my little blessing and I would never trade all the tears and heart ache for anything.

KatieGummow · October 2013

BiggerinRealLife said:

Hi there, I think teen pregnancy is a problem, and I don't think that where you come from or what your background is has anything to do with it. I have lived in bad neighborhoods, I went to horrible schools and I didn't get pregnant. I believe that lack of information could be the problem. Parents should take the initiative and talk to their teens about sex and the consequences of it. Too bad that there aren't enough responsible parents that do this with their kids. Ps. I'm glad you are taking the necessary steps to succeed in life!
This. Ohmigosh if parents were to take the initative! So many are content to let schools teach sex ed/beliefs/morals for them, and as we all know there are SO MANY problems with how schools teach/are allowed to teach kids about sex. I absolutely intend to have regular, open, age-appropriate dialogues with my children about sex. So does my husband. But that's a common problem in schools: almost everything would be more effective if parents took initative and got involved. (/educator rant)

True; I think teens and younger have a false sense of "invincibility," and the active role of parents in most cases would be helpful in lowering the rate of teen pregnancies. Always there are exceptions.

One tough idea for me is I am pro-choice; adoption, abortion, or acceptance. Everyone and anyone should be able to change their future, for better or worse. I don't know what I would do/how I would reach if my child became a teen mom.

Mamamonzo · October 2013

I guess my opinions go back to the schools and parenting in general. I think in this day an age most kids by middle school have a very clear idea how babies are made. We can't use the excuse of we're teaching the wrong things in sex ed. Sex education plays some role but I think we as educators and parents need to be involved in our kids lives. Give them activities and goals to strive for, things to do after school and on the weekends. We need to focus less on being "cool parents" and fitting some mold where our kids set the boundries of what is acceptable behavior from parents.

We NEED to set the boundries what what behavior is acceptable and what will not be tolerated. We need to stick to our guns, punish appropriately when boundries are crossed. We are the adults in the situation not our children who seem to be playing house at 14 and 15 years old.

bingbongsmama · October 2013

seannasmommy16 said:
Coming from a teen mom, I deffently don't want this for anyone.. I love my child to the moon and back, but till this day I still struggle, I ask for help on a Daliy basis and I'm always worried she will fall into the same place I did.. I just wish I had more of myself togother before she came along. But she's my little blessing and I would never trade all the tears and heart ache for anything.

Sounds like you're doing an amazing job and setting an excellent example for your daughter

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