Needing a place to vent for a moment...NBR loss mentioned

sparrowmomma24 · October 2013

So as of yesterday, it's been 3 weeks since Ellie was born and passed. I've been doing very well. I really couldn't be more blessed with my health and my emotional healing is doing ok too. So last night I was talking to my sister via Facebook about Ellie's memorial. I can't seem to get it all planned, Now it's October which is hell month to plan something like this. Both of my parents are music teachers with concerts and competitions galore. So I asked her what she thought of doing the memorial on the first weekend of November. What was her response???

"Well, you can do that, just understand that I work weekends so I might not be there."

Um, excuse me? You're my only sibling. My little sister. You are going to miss your niece's memorial for a part time job? Are you kidding me? So of course, I said, well it's a month away. Couldn't you ask off? Her response?

"Well, other people may need time off. Not everything revolves around you and Ellie." I promptly said ok and jumped offline. I tried to sleep on it. Give myself time to calm down and think rationally, but it's not working. Even today, I'm so frustrated and furious with her.

Okay.. rant over... thanks ladies.

Dishylo · October 2013

Oh Sparrow, I'm so sorry she reacted in that way!! That's terrible behaviour, it really is.

I hope she apologizes to you. And soon!!

P.s. - nice to see you back briefly and good to hear that you're healing well; physically and emotionally.

Cara1024 · October 2013

I'm so sorry honey. I really hope she changes her mind about it. I'm sorry the planning process is not going so easily.

mrsjenni · October 2013

Wow. How completely insensitive of her. I'm so sorry hun, I'm sure she'll come around. I'd make sure to let her know how much that comment hurt you, however. Obviously you're already trying to plan around your parents schedules, so you're not being selfish in the least (not that planning it whenever the heck you wanted too would be selfish either!!) We think of you often here and hope you're doing well under the circumstances.

{{{HUGS}}}

daltosostarby · October 2013

Oh my gosh! I can't believe she would say that. Hopefully she'll realize what she said was hurtful and apologize. It's good to hear that you're doing ok, and I continue to send T&Ps to you and your family.

MiaMyPuggle · October 2013

:-?
I don't understand your sister and her self-centeredness.
Wow. It's nice to know she puts other people before herself in life..........
I'm so sorry.

ChuggingWater · October 2013

How extremely insensitive of her. That hurts my heart for you.

tootsscott · October 2013

I'm not defending her in any way, because I think what she did/said was wrong, but maybe that's just her method of coping? I know death is VERY uncomfortable for me and avoidance is usually how I handle it!!

I'm so sorry she's not being supportive - I hope she comes around and attends! She will definitely regret not being there!

cowscrub · October 2013

So sad for you to have your sister respond that way. :-(
Glad to hear of your emotional and physical well being too!
Hugs!!

pennstated912 · October 2013

OMG. I literally gasped aloud at work reading your sister's second response. How could she possibly say something like that?!??

I am so, so sorry, Sparrow. My heart aches for you. You are still consistently in my thoughts and prayers.

jhunter89 · October 2013

That was incredibly inconsiderate, she has plenty of time to request it off and should be making it a priority. I am so sorry she reacted so selfishly.

cpm1223 · October 2013

Oh sparrow, I'm so sorry that your sister said that. You have every right to be angry with her, that was so out of line.

Huge ((hugs)) I hope she realizes what an asshole she was and apologizes to you asap!

Glad to hear that you're doing well.

twobluelines · October 2013

What a terrible thing for her to say. she clearly doesn't have any empathy for you and what you have gone through. I am so sorry that she isn't providing you with the support you need. You are in my thoughts daily.

kw42775 · October 2013

I'm so sorry she reacted that way. T&Ps to you...

silentsiren11 · October 2013

That is awful of her. Hopefully, she realizes how insensitive that was, but I do think you should tell her it was hurtful as well.

juliasmama2010 · October 2013

That's awful. I hope she comes around and realizes that she behaved poorly. I'm glad to hear you're healing well

km_md · October 2013

I'm so sorry that you need to deal with this on top of everything else Sparrow ((hugs)) I think your sister is being really selfish. I hope that she comes to her senses.

Unknown · October 2013

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peanutmuse · October 2013

Sparrow, that is horribly insensitive of her. I am so, so sorry.

alinafed · October 2013

Sending you support sparrow - I can't believe your sister reacted that way, there is no excuse. I totally second the several previous suggestions of you telling her it hurt you (or calling her a selfish bitch, either way

)

Continued T&P, thinking of Ellie

moosebaby2011 · October 2013

I'm so sorry about your sister's reaction. That was really insensitive of her.

AnnikaD20 · October 2013

I can recall saying something colossaly stupid after a friend's late pregnancy loss. Fortunately I said it to a mutual friend and not to her, and said mutual friend told me off, and I learned a good lesson about not blurting out stupid stuff. Thinking back, I'm pretty embarassed.

My point is that it's hard for some people to know what to say in uncomfortable emotionally charged situations. I know I've said things I regret. I hope your sister comes to her senses and realizes what an insensitive selfish thing that was to say.

salsamommy · October 2013

I'm so sorry that your sister is being pretty cold about that!! I do hope she realizes how important this is and does it sooner rather than later!!

I'm glad to hear that you are healing well, and feel free to come vent here anytime!!!

fredtheredhead2 · October 2013

I'm so sorry your sister is acting like that sparrow. She is the one being selfish, not you. I hope she realizes how horrible what she said was and offers you a sincere apology.

dland0201 · October 2013

I'm so sorry your sister is acting that way.

jgraham80 · October 2013

Wow, that's really terrible. Hoping she realizes how ridiculous her comments were. Hugs to you!

suupercute · October 2013

Glad you are doing well but so sorry to hear that your sister is behaving that way. I would be hurt by the comment. Perhaps she just doesn't understand because she is younger and have never experienced such a lost herself? Not that it's any excuse for her insensitivity. I don't think asking her to take 1 day off with a month of advanced notice is a lot to ask to give proper respect and remembrance of her niece.

KristaBelieve · October 2013

You do not need to be dealing with that on top of everything else. I'm sorry she was insensitive and hurtful. We've all been thinking about you.

Arrgcr · October 2013

How insensitive of her. ((Hugs)) I'm so sorry she reacted that way. I hope Ellie's memorial is beautiful, with or without your sister.

SvedkaStoli · October 2013

I am really sorry she said. That this is really insensitive. Maybe if she is a bit younger she didn't exactly realize how it came out. I glad to see you stopped by though.