Found out yesterday. Panicking

flyingryann · September 2013

I felt strange and on a whim grabbed a test at Walgreens yesterday, and there in the pharmacy bathroom found out I was pregnant. I JUMPED in my car, drove about 80 to my family doctor and walked in demanding a confirmation test. And HELLO I am 4 weeks 2 days. I need someone to tell me that I am not an awful person for have intense panic/anxiety/shocked feelings. I haven't told my husband yet because I know he'll be over the moon and I don't want to upset him with my lack of excitement. I'm more terrified than anything right now. For those of you that waited to tell your BabyDaddy....how long did you keep it to yourself and what was your reveal? I hid my test at the back of my closet.

akifyre · September 2013

Firstly, we are all different people in very different situations in life.

You are not a terrible horrible person for panicking.

I will assume this was not planned. But that is okay, many ladies from what I have read have reacted very similarly as you.

I recommend taking some deep breaths, perhaps go to a quiet place you like to think at. The beach, or perhaps a mountain field, or a park in your city. Sit down and think about it.

You are not required to have happy rainbow sparkly thoughts you know. Its a huge life changing event.

I would recommend telling your hubby sooner rather then later. It saves on the whole, why didn't you tell me conversation.

Mine was involved from the beginning. We watched the test turn together.

Dianakdee · September 2013

I waited like a week but it kills you soo bad! I was around him knowin I had a secret and then got advice from somewhere online to tell him right away. Didn't go so well but after 3 weeks of he's in love! He told his whole family a his friends more people than me for goodness sakes . Me I'm waiting 2 weeks to tell the rest of my family where I'll be 13 weeks good luck

LRWright50 · September 2013

Don't feel bad. It's some urban myth that we all want to do cartwheels and tell the world as soon as we know. My husband and I were trying to get pregnant and even when the test came back positive, I wasn't ecstatic....mainly due to all the major life changes that I knew were coming and stressing about handling everything on our plates. It'll get better. Sometimes it just needs a minute to sink in or you need a minute to really work through your anxieties. I agree that you should tell your husband soon. My husband was also over the moon but when I expressed my anxieties, he helped me feel better and now I'm really excited too. Good luck!!

Saltylady · September 2013

Hi all. I am new to this group. Just got confirmation today from GYN that I am indeed preggo (did not really need confirmation from them since my body has already let me know).

I was going to wait a few weeks before telling Husband but now I am just so excited I cannot wait till then. Plus I thought about what if I M/C again......how would I tell him "oh by the way I was going to wait a few weeks but...." Congrats to everyone. I plan on putting a tee-shirt on our 14 month old that says BIG BROTHER tonight. Praying our little beans stick!!!!

p.s. I have informed my boss of this (we are a very tight knit working group). Just in case anything happens and to let him know of my upcoming appt in a few weeks. He is a dad so he is just as excited as me LOL

spinsoffresonance · September 2013

When we were TTC LO1, my first thoughts when I got my BFP was "oh my god, what have we done!" then panic. And this was for a planned pregnancy. It's perfectly normal to have mixed feelings.
With both babies DH was waiting outside the bathroom while I POAS, so I say tell your DH ASAP

Reagan1010 · September 2013

Saltylady said:
Hi all. I am new to this group. Just got confirmation today from GYN that I am indeed preggo (did not really need confirmation from them since my body has already let me know).

I was going to wait a few weeks before telling Husband but now I am just so excited I cannot wait till then. Plus I thought about what if I M/C again......how would I tell him "oh by the way I was going to wait a few weeks but...." Congrats to everyone. I plan on putting a tee-shirt on our 14 month old that says BIG BROTHER tonight. Praying our little beans stick!!!!

p.s. I have informed my boss of this (we are a very tight knit working group). Just in case anything happens and to let him know of my upcoming appt in a few weeks. He is a dad so he is just as excited as me LOL

Wait.....you told your boss today before your DH knows? Did I read that right?

ASmallWonder · September 2013

Reagan1010 said:

Hi all. I am new to this group. Just got confirmation today from GYN that I am indeed preggo (did not really need confirmation from them since my body has already let me know).

I was going to wait a few weeks before telling Husband but now I am just so excited I cannot wait till then. Plus I thought about what if I M/C again......how would I tell him "oh by the way I was going to wait a few weeks but...." Congrats to everyone. I plan on putting a tee-shirt on our 14 month old that says BIG BROTHER tonight. Praying our little beans stick!!!!

p.s. I have informed my boss of this (we are a very tight knit working group). Just in case anything happens and to let him know of my upcoming appt in a few weeks. He is a dad so he is just as excited as me LOL
Wait.....you told your boss today before your DH knows? Did I read that right?

Hold up. A million times THIS.

food_chick · September 2013

This is our third, it was planned, and I have moments of panic still and I'm 10 weeks. I also have moments of total excitement. I blame the hormones.

Saltylady · September 2013

LOL sorry ladies....yes I did tell my boss first. He knew we were not taking any precautions - he knew about my last BFP and M/C. Yes I guess I should get flamed for that. With the work I do we are very open with each other. In case another M/C happens and I need to leave quickly and be out for a few days he can handle any questions with confidentiality.....I work in Federal Law Enforcement.

Reagan1010 · September 2013

Saltylady said:
LOL sorry ladies....yes I did tell my boss first. He knew we were not taking any precautions - he knew about my last BFP and M/C. Yes I guess I should get flamed for that. With the work I do we are very open with each other. In case another M/C happens and I need to leave quickly and be out for a few days he can handle any questions with confidentiality.....I work in Federal Law Enforcement.

I'm sorry, but I don't care who you work for!! You shouldn't be closer to your boss and coworker than your DH! That is so disrespectful to your DH and your marriage. And you said you were originally going to wait weeks to tell him?!?! I don't care what they know about your planning/ not preventing....your DH, father of your child, DESERVES to know first! Gah...I just can't wrap my mind round this.

Saltylady · September 2013

Your right. I feel awful now.......seriously I do. Guess the excitement and all those feelings rushing thru my body just made my mind go numb....but again no excuse at all. Will make it right tonight.

ABColeslaw · September 2013

elmoali said:

Reagan1010 said:

Hi all. I am new to this group. Just got confirmation today from GYN that I am indeed preggo (did not really need confirmation from them since my body has already let me know).

I was going to wait a few weeks before telling Husband but now I am just so excited I cannot wait till then. Plus I thought about what if I M/C again......how would I tell him "oh by the way I was going to wait a few weeks but...." Congrats to everyone. I plan on putting a tee-shirt on our 14 month old that says BIG BROTHER tonight. Praying our little beans stick!!!!

p.s. I have informed my boss of this (we are a very tight knit working group). Just in case anything happens and to let him know of my upcoming appt in a few weeks. He is a dad so he is just as excited as me LOL
Wait.....you told your boss today before your DH knows? Did I read that right?

Hold up. A million times THIS.

erm

Saltylady · September 2013

i feel better now, the main thing is I'm pregnant. and pray that things continue normallyI I know some of you will not understand And Continue TO Flame Me But Thats Okay...... I'm filled with so much joy right now its fine.

ASmallWonder · September 2013

I just have to chime back in. My husband would have been SO hurt if I had told a soul before I told him about either of our babies. Can you imagine being your DH and not being the FIRST person to be told that you are bringing a baby - your own son or daughter - into the world?

MMason12 · September 2013

I have never understood how people tell anyone besides their DH first. I wouldn't ever dream of telling anyone other than my DH first with that kind of news. If your DH cannot be there to support you during a m/c and you need your boss there -- that is just messed up.

And OP... I cannot stand people using the phrase Baby Daddy to refer to the husband. He is the farther of your child not a baby daddy.

ExpectingBlessing2009 · September 2013

Is it your bosses baby or your DH?? I told my husband immediately while shaking...lol..we were told we wld never conceive naturally & ill be 6wks on Saturday. I had to tell my husband because a marriage is about being faithful, truthful etc. So you should have told him first...

roadspeckle · September 2013

Give her a break. She's already been ostracized for it, but who are any of you to judge? She made a mistake. It happens.

Saltylady · September 2013

ExpectingBlessing2009 said:

Is it your bosses baby or your DH?? I told my husband immediately while shaking...lol..we were told we wld never conceive naturally & ill be 6wks on Saturday. I had to tell my husband because a marriage is about being faithful, truthful etc. So you should have told him first...

Are you serious about asking such a dumb question???? How old are you!!!! Don't preach to me about what marriage is about hun. I am sure lots of people have told one person first, such as I have read on here, before telling their husband>>>>>best friend, another co-worker, mom, etc. My choice on who to tell first is that - my choice. Anyway Husband was super excited when I broke the news.....well actually our 14 month old broke the news....I wrote "BIG BROTHER" on a white shirt as well as "EDD - May 30" which is his birthday. We are going to wait a few weeks before telling his mother and sisters and my family as well.

sueann911 · September 2013

Saltylady said:

ExpectingBlessing2009 said:

Is it your bosses baby or your DH?? I told my husband immediately while shaking...lol..we were told we wld never conceive naturally & ill be 6wks on Saturday. I had to tell my husband because a marriage is about being faithful, truthful etc. So you should have told him first...

Are you serious about asking such a dumb question???? How old are you!!!! Don't preach to me about what marriage is about hun. I am sure lots of people have told one person first, such as I have read on here, before telling their husband>>>>>best friend, another co-worker, mom, etc. My choice on who to tell first is that - my choice. Anyway Husband was super excited when I broke the news.....well actually our 14 month old broke the news....I wrote "BIG BROTHER" on a white shirt as well as "EDD - May 30" which is his birthday. We are going to wait a few weeks before telling his mother and sisters and my family as well.

Well thank goodness you came to your senses but I will echo the sentiment that it was ridiculous to tell your boss before DH. You say you're close an you have special snowflake work reasons but all that does is tell me that you're closer with your boss than you are with your husband.
Put yourself in your DHs shoes. How would you feel if you didn't find out first and your spouse told a coworker? It's completely different than telling a BFF or mother first. He's you boss, not family, not friend, not doctor.

NorthernGal248 · September 2013

Back to flyingryann.. My pregnancy was planned.. but when I saw that line show up I did panick.. and I was open with my husband about it and it made it so much easier.

Let him know that you are scared and worried, respect him and hopefully he will respect you back.. good luck!

ExpectingBlessing2009 · September 2013

First of all salty age has nothing to do with what I posted there for your question is irrelevant. 2nd I seriously did ask that question t he only man you should be closer to than your husband is your father not your male boss. On that note I'm not going to entertain you!!

keetaskye · September 2013

I am surprised at the behavior on this board.. I thought that these groups were for support and for sharing our stories not for judging each other. There are so many different situations and every one should be able to share knowing there could be someone else out there in a similar situation that doesn't have the courage to join the conversations online. I'm not saying I would go about things the same way that @saltylady did, but those are her decisions and we do not know her whole life story nor do we have any place to judge. I hope all the boards aren't like this because that may discourage many new moms from looking for advice and support here.. I'm sorry for all the hurtful words Saltylady!

Saltylady · September 2013

ghost monkey you guys push me over the edge to act like a b**** on here and I will. I give my opinion my experience and I get trashed and degraded for it

Saltylady · September 2013

you think I'm going to sit back and not say anything. I'm the nicest person you'll ever meet. I work my ass off for my family. I thought this was the support bored as well.

Saltylady · September 2013

like the comment is it my Boss The Babys Father Or My husband what the hell...... those are fightin words right there.

Saltylady · September 2013

see you all don't get it I work for the federal government there is not maternity leave. I need my boss to work with me when I have doctor appointment and what not so that I don't exhaust my time off. that's important for him to know.... and help me get through what I need to do. maybe I should have explained that in the beginning

Erica314 · September 2013

SaltyLady said:

you think I'm going to sit back and not say anything. I'm the nicest person you'll ever meet. I work my ass off for my family. I thought this was the support bored as well.

Nice? Yes, telling a woman who gets a faint positive hpt that it could be a sign of miscarriage is a nice thing to say.

ExpectingBlessing2009 · September 2013

lmao@ fighting words?? Please don't cyber punch me...smh..grow up!! Good day 2 you & God bless you!!

fsumom · September 2013

DD was not planned. I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant. DH and I were newlyweds but I was only 23. I just want you to know it will be ok! My DD will be 7 this coming Wednesday...we couldn't imagine life without her!

auntjessy · September 2013

Well congrats on the pregnancy and I'm glad you were able to chill out and enjoy it! Good luck to you and DH, here's hoping for a H&H 8 more months.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

1.) He was with me when the test came up positive.

2.) My husband is my childrens' father & my partner. He is NOT a baby daddy.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

Reagan1010 said:

Saltylady said:
LOL sorry ladies....yes I did tell my boss first. He knew we were not taking any precautions - he knew about my last BFP and M/C. Yes I guess I should get flamed for that. With the work I do we are very open with each other. In case another M/C happens and I need to leave quickly and be out for a few days he can handle any questions with confidentiality.....I work in Federal Law Enforcement.
I'm sorry, but I don't care who you work for!! You shouldn't be closer to your boss and coworker than your DH! That is so disrespectful to your DH and your marriage. And you said you were originally going to wait weeks to tell him?!?! I don't care what they know about your planning/ not preventing....your DH, father of your child, DESERVES to know first! Gah...I just can't wrap my mind round this.

I agree w/ @reagan1010 ! My husband would be hurt & upset if I didn't share the news with him before anyone else. Seriously? Weeks?! That is so mind boggling to me. I side eye that. I side eye it hard.

Not gonna lie the first thing I thought was: is this baby your boss's baby? Why else would he have a right to know before your husband?

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

Saltylady said:
see you all don't get it I work for the federal government there is not maternity leave. I need my boss to work with me when I have doctor appointment and what not so that I don't exhaust my time off. that's important for him to know.... and help me get through what I need to do. maybe I should have explained that in the beginning

Your explanation doesn't help you at all.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

Erica314 said:

SaltyLady said:

you think I'm going to sit back and not say anything. I'm the nicest person you'll ever meet. I work my ass off for my family. I thought this was the support bored as well.

Nice? Yes, telling a woman who gets a faint positive hpt that it could be a sign of miscarriage is a nice thing to say.

@SaltyLady : Klassy.

I see you are ignoring my advice to use your brain before you post. Good job.

WashingtonQueen · September 2013

Saltylady said:

you think I'm going to sit back and not say anything. I'm the nicest person you'll ever meet. I work my ass off for my family. I thought this was the support bored as well.

@Saltylady

::cough:: bullshit ::cough::cough::

WashingtonQueen · September 2013

Saltylady said:

see you all don't get it I work for the federal government there is not maternity leave. I need my boss to work with me when I have doctor appointment and what not so that I don't exhaust my time off. that's important for him to know.... and help me get through what I need to do. maybe I should have explained that in the beginning

But it's not important for your husband to know...

Luck Be A Lady · September 2013

Saltylady said:

ghost monkey you guys push me over the edge to act like a b**** on here and I will. I give my opinion my experience and I get trashed and degraded for it

I planned on just passing by this thread, but this cracks me up. 90% of what @GhostMonkey says rubs me the wrong way (sorry ghost, it just does) - but that doesn't give me the right to act like a jerk. Choices - you have them. An internet stranger does not force you to post childish replies.

MommyDay2be · September 2013

@saltylady my bestie knew before my SO. He didn't have cell service when I found out and I was spending the day with her and HAD to tell someone. I don't really think its that big of a deal..

LollyLawlz · September 2013

Saltylady said:

see you all don't get it I work for the federal government there is not maternity leave. I need my boss to work with me when I have doctor appointment and what not so that I don't exhaust my time off. that's important for him to know.... and help me get through what I need to do. maybe I should have explained that in the beginning

You keep flashing around that you work for the Federal Government. After reading through your posts I find it horrifying that someone as ignorant as you is in a position of authority.

Found out yesterday. Panicking

Re: Found out yesterday. Panicking

That One Gal From Alaska

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

Choose Another Board

Search Boards