Just need a little, whiny vent

alleycat39 · September 2013

Good morning ladies! I hate to be all whiny, but I feel like I can't talk to anyone IRL right now about this because they don't get it and it is somewhat embarrassing. So ladies, thank you in advance for listening!

As most of you know, I have been benched since my mmc last November due to finding out I had a uterine septum, then a postponed surgery, then a 2-3 month recovery from that, followed finally by AF now showing up and needing to be induced with Provera. All of that was also coupled with some timing issues because of grad school clinical rotations. So needless to say, I was super excited that this would FINALLY be the 1st cycle that DH and I could TTC again!! About 7 months ago, DH had a conversation with his manager (owner of the company he works for) about adding me on to his insurance October 1st since my coverage through my old job ends Sept 30th (I had to stop working since I just started clinical rotations for school). His manager said that in lieu of a raise this year, he was going to cover the total expense (both employer and employee portion) for putting me on his insurance. Fast forward 7 months, DH and his boss had a conversation on Friday and his boss claims that he only meant he would pay for the employer portion. He also said he would rather me not go on the company plan, but would give the equivalent of the employer contribution in cash to DH each month. That amount does not cover any plans we have found. We feel that he has completely gone back on his word and now we are left just 2 days before needing coverage, scrambling for a private health insurance plan. I have the option of COBRA, which will cost $560/month. Many of the private plans we are looking at have waiting periods for maternity coverage. So basically it comes down to that we have to postpone TTC again for at least another month. I've been so patient over the past year and now just want to cry. Yes, in the grand scheme I know that waiting another month isn't the end of the world, but how many times can we keep saying "just another month."

Thank you ladies for listening. I think I'll go start off my Sunday with a mimosa.... (if I could ever figure out how to do a PIP, I'd have one waiting for all of you!)

jenn0021 · September 2013

Oh hon, that totally sucks! And of course you can come whine to us, it's totally justified. I know how much long term TTA sucks and adding another month stings, especially when you've been planning on finally getting off the bench. Sending you huge ((hugs)) and I hope you guys can find an insurance plan soon. I'm so angry at your DH's boss for going back on his word, that totally sucks.

AnyMax · September 2013

Oh hun, I am so sorry. This is so incredibly shitty of his boss. I wish knew a way to make this better. It is completely understandable to feel so upset and disappointed, even if it is only a month. So many (((HUGS)))

You know how to reach me if you want to talk.

Poppy715 · September 2013

Oh sweety. I went through the insurance drama too. I'm no longer eligible for an individual plan because I'm such a high risk to them. I think all my drama went down before you joined us.

It's so frustrating and hard. And in your situation you've basically been lied to. COBRA is such a hassle too. I had a really hard time finding coverage. I don't quite understand how your DHs employer can just change his mind like that. Do they have any written policy for insurance coverage? He shouldn't be allowed to dictate who gets coverage like that.

Your situation sound so familiar, it makes my heart break. You think finally its time to TTC again and now the brakes are jammed on. I'm sorry you are going through this!! Just keep looking for individual plans. They are obviously better than COBRA. Hang in there!!!

MollySm · September 2013

((hugs)) I'm so sorry! Insurance problems are sucky enough without adding in an asshat boss! I can't believe he can just take that back like that. Is there any way your H would be willing to go and argue for getting you on the insurance?

carlsonbaby2014 · September 2013

Oh no! That is awful!! What a terrible thing to do and horrible timing. Did your H get what he agreed to in writing?! I'm so sorry....sending you lots of (((hugs)))

alleycat39 · September 2013

Thank you ladies! I really appreciate all of your hugs and support. It is a crappy situation and I try to remind myself that there are people out there in much worse situations, but realize that I can only worry about my own situation. Unfortunately DH had nothing in writing X( but from what he said, the conversation was pretty spelled out. This is the 2nd empty promise from this boss....maybe it is time for DH to search for something else?

I am in the process of filling out an application for an Aetna plan now, so FX that this all goes smooth!

ball.and.chain · September 2013

UGH!! I'm sorry. That has to be really frustrating. I hope you are able to figure out the insurance thing soon, and that it is really JUST another month before you can get back in the game!

luciddreamer106 · September 2013

Oh no! That is so incredibly frustrating. Even though it's only another month, it still sucks because you've already been waiting so long. I totally get it. ((Hugs))

And huge double TP to YH's boss for treating you like that. Not ok.

luciddreamer106 · September 2013

snegde said:
I am sorry love. What the hell?!?!? Seriously. Is it a small company? Isn't obamacare supposed to fix this? Can you purchase insurance through your university as a student?

I believe you can sign up on October first. I don't know much, but it's probably worth looking into.

alilbear · September 2013

Oh no! How incredibly frustrating and irritating. am sorry you are going through such a hassle. FX everything goes smoothly with Aetna.

Poppy715 · September 2013

snegde said:
I am sorry love. What the hell?!?!? Seriously. Is it a small company? Isn't obamacare supposed to fix this? Can you purchase insurance through your university as a student?

Obamacare isn't effective until the new year. Then individual plans can no longer refuse people. But the rates are still higher than work provided insurance.

Poppy715 · September 2013

Good luck with the new plan! I was turned down by 3 before giving up and joining DHs insurance. Us is the same price as COBRA so it was our last resort. FX you hear back from them quickly!!

buggirl72 · September 2013

I'm so sorry (((hugs))). My DH has been in insurance forever and from what you are describing, you losing insurance sounds like a qualifying event. What he was wondering is if any other employees have spousal coverage - if no, then they do not offer it. If yes, I don't think the boss is allowed to deny enrolling you from what you described.

alleycat39 · September 2013

snegde said:

I am sorry love. What the hell?!?!? Seriously. Is it a small company? Isn't obamacare supposed to fix this? Can you purchase insurance through your university as a student?

The Obamacare stuff will go effective Jan 1st. What it comes down to with this Aetna plan is that I will be covered for maternity care assuming that I am "not deemed pg" as of Oct 15th (the date the plan starts). Well.......they consider date of conception (according to dr. I believe) to figure out if I would qualify or not. If my ute and ovaries work as they should, O will be sometime between Oct 9-12th. Awesome, that means if I O any time before CD25 and we were oh so fortunate to conceive this month, I wouldn't be covered for maternity services until after Jan 1 (when it is mandated by obamacare to cover maternity).

It is just a month....it is just a month....that is my mantra of the day

X(

alleycat39 · September 2013

luciddreamer106 said:

I am sorry love. What the hell?!?!? Seriously. Is it a small company? Isn't obamacare supposed to fix this? Can you purchase insurance through your university as a student?
I believe you can sign up on October first. I don't know much, but it's probably worth looking into.

I should have been able to sign up for October 1st, however DH's a**hole boss didn't sit down with him in time to discuss this (DH had been asking him for a few weeks about this). You have to apply 5 days prior to the start date of the plan. So for an Oct 1st start date, I would've had to apply by Sept 25th. The boss didn't handle the situation until Friday the 27th. Total TP!

abryars · September 2013

carlsonbaby2014 said:
Oh no! That is awful!! What a terrible thing to do and horrible timing. Did your H get what he agreed to in writing?! I'm so sorry....sending you lots of (((hugs)))

I was going to ask the same thing. If he got anything in writing? I'm sorry you're going through this! I am learning so much from you ladies and the more I learn about everyone's situations my heart just breaks for all of us. I hope it is only another month:( (((hugs)))

luciddreamer106 · September 2013

alysonjill said:

luciddreamer106 said:

snegde said:
I am sorry love. What the hell?!?!? Seriously. Is it a small company? Isn't obamacare supposed to fix this? Can you purchase insurance through your university as a student?
I believe you can sign up on October first. I don't know much, but it's probably worth looking into.

I should have been able to sign up for October 1st, however DH's a**hole boss didn't sit down with him in time to discuss this (DH had been asking him for a few weeks about this). You have to apply 5 days prior to the start date of the plan. So for an Oct 1st start date, I would've had to apply by Sept 25th. The boss didn't handle the situation until Friday the 27th. Total TP!

I see. What a jerk.

alleycat39 · September 2013

snegde said:

Gotcha. I am disappointed for you. So your husband's company doesn't provide family insurance to any employee?

They don't. His boss was going to make an exception and do us a favor, but then decided it wasn't a good business decision for him. I should just be happy that he is going to still give DH some cash towards insurance. I just wish he would've been honest from the beginning, b/c we would've made some different financial plans over the past few months and also taken care of this situation so that I'd be covered as of October 1st.

Hopefully I'll be over it by tomorrow!

KMW08 · September 2013

Ugh. I'm so sorry love. I hate hate hate hate hate hate this for you!

I didn't realize that insurance through work could even deny offering family/spousal coverage. We are both very fortunate that our jobs pay for our portion (as the employee). Both mine & dh's allow us to add family members, but if anybody else is added to the insurance policy we have to pay for their portion OOP.

I think somebody else asked, but does your school program offer any type of student insurance you could look into? I know at the big university here for grad programs they offer insurance policies to specific programs, it's not just a "generalized" student program it's a more-indepth insurance.

MrsWallick · September 2013

Ugh! This sucks! Im soo sorry! I definitely understand your frustration. Insurances can be a big pain in the ass and your DH's boss sure isn't helping. I went through insurance issues as well and actually had to pay for my previous ultrasounds all out of pocket, so I totally get it and you have every right to be pissed. (((Hugs)))

jbasore1123 · September 2013

I am so sorry, I would be seriously angry if I were in your position, both because of TTA for another month and because of the uncertainty of he insurance. Can your DH confront him and really explain that this puts you in a bad position with only 2 days notice? I wouldn't back down without being more assertive

alleycat39 · September 2013

jbasore1123 said:

I am so sorry, I would be seriously angry if I were in your position, both because of TTA for another month and because of the uncertainty of he insurance. Can your DH confront him and really explain that this puts you in a bad position with only 2 days notice? I wouldn't back down without being more assertive

DH is going in to talk to him about it tomorrow. There have been some other empty promises, so this just fuels the fire. Luckily DH is an extremely calm man, so I know he will stay level headed during the conversation!

Eliz77 · September 2013

Hope your DH has some success in sorting out this mess! So sorry for the hassle and another set back. It is frustrating and while it may be *just* a month, it still is months of waiting when you add it all up. ((hugs))!!!

BluEyedGirl26 · September 2013

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this right now. FX that things work out with the Aetna plan or that DH has some luck with his boss tomorrow. (((Hugs)))

rmpar29 · September 2013

((HUGS)) I'm so sorry that you are going through this!!! It's horrible for DH's boss to go back on his word like this at the last minute. I hope that you are able to find something quickly!

>:D<

RedTwizzlers · September 2013

No!! This sucks so bad. I am right there with you, though, unfortunately. Eff this shit.

((((hugs))))

Amores0121 · September 2013

Ugh, that is such BS!! It is too bad that it wasn't discussed in e-mails b/c then at least YH would have it in writing. I'm so sorry. Huge ((hugs))

jenkellen · September 2013

Oh Alyson, I am so sorry. I was SO SO excited when we had your bench burning last week, and I hate this.

In my experience, I will never trust an employer without something in writing. Empty promises are extremely common. If you feel that your husband could get better coverage through another employer I think it would be worth looking into but I realize it wouldn't solve your problem of having to TTA this month.

I would think you would have excellent coverage when you are done with clinicals right? Would any of this even out if you have to pay out of pocket now?

I am so sick of the healthcare system treating pregnancy as a disease instead of a celebration.

This exact problem is why we put off TTC until I moved into my new job because of this whole pre-existing condition nonsense. So frustrating.

I am so pissed for you. I want to go yell at all of these jerks for you.

JCM285 · September 2013

I'm so sorry that you are facing this situation!!! I also have shed many a tear over insurance battles (mainly for paying bills that I just felt were so unfairly high). I completely empathize with you and I hope that DH can straighten it out. Keep looking out for the insurance companies. My MIL had to change insurances and it took a long time to find a good one (and of course she isn't looking for maternity coverage), but sometimes the better insurance plans at reasonable prices just take a few extra calls to find. FX that you find a great one soon!

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Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

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Just need a little, whiny vent

Re: Just need a little, whiny vent

Began trying for a baby January 2012BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

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Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014