When talking to young kids, what do you call penis and vagina?

wilburbud · September 2013

Im talking 3 and under. You have to call them SOMETHING.. When your 2 year old girl has daiper rash are you going to tell her your putting cream on her labia, or on her _____ (insert cutsey name here)? We call butt area items hineys, and her front vagaina is her lovey. I dont know why.

jessicacss · September 2013

I call it pee pee, girl or boy. But after seeing other posts, on WHY it is important to use the correct names, I think I will start telling my 23 month old that she has a vagina and daddy has a penis

MeganWorden · September 2013

When nannying in the past I was always asked by the parent to call things by their proper name. So I would say penis and vagina. I plan to do the same with my kids. In my opinion they are not "bad" words anymore than arm, head, breast... are bad words and a child should know the proper name of things.

sugarland726 · September 2013

Vagina and penis. We don't use cutesy names. She hasn't asked much about the boy parts, but she knows pee comes out of her vagina and poop comes out of her butt. We don't get in to all the specific parts of a vagina.

SunflowersBride · September 2013

I hate, HATE cutesy names for genitalia. My mom is a nurse and always taught me the proper terms, and I will do the same. I honestly don't understand why someone wouldn't utilize proper terminology, it just seems silly to make up dumb words.

SunflowersBride · September 2013

MeganWorden said:

When nannying in the past I was always asked by the parent to call things by their proper name. So I would say penis and vagina. I plan to do the same with my kids. In my opinion they are not "bad" words anymore than arm, head, breast... are bad words and a child should know the proper name of things.

I think this is one of the reasons it bugs me so much. I feel like using proper terms for all body parts other than penis and vagina, turns them into something dirty they should feel ashamed of.

genaruthp · September 2013

I use correct names. Between research and my years teaching - it is better.

mrsjenni · September 2013

"Pee Pee" and "Pecker"... I have no idea how they developed into those nicknames, it's just what we say (when we have too.)

Deblondie1 · September 2013

Penis and vagina. For the reason stated by @KaitiMac. And also because if she goes to a different adult and says her "insert cutesy name" hurts, the adult may not get what she is trying to tell him or her.

ach298 · September 2013

We say the proper names, though sometimes I saw "we have to wipe your hiney/booty" instead of butt or bottom.

Deblondie1 · September 2013

ach298 said:

We say the proper names, though sometimes I saw "we have to wipe your hiney/booty" instead of butt or bottom.

This made me think of DD. She's heard me call it a butt so much that when I'm washing her bottom she says"butt butt butt" the whole time LOL

2Dash · September 2013

We use penis with DS - no problems...... I heard him say pee pee a couple of times which he must of picked up at daycare. I'm fine with that but I wouldn't keep the proper term from him. We use bum for backside.

megngregk · September 2013

KaitiMac said:

MarBee1214 said:

I think its going to feel weird to me, but I want to use proper names because of what happened to me when I was only 3 years old. It was the only way I knew how to tell my parents what happened.

This. Real words are important because child molesters never use the anatomical names for body parts - they usually opt for the cutesy stuff. When a kid is used to saying 'penis' and another adult starts calling it his "pee-pee" while doing uncomfortable things, the child is better able to differentiate normal adult behavior from abnormal adult behavior. (source: many years of child care training)

We will be using proper language for this reason. I don't see any reason for cutesy names.

vstevens · September 2013

I've always said penis with DS (when I've called it anything), but he has started calling it his "Pee Pee" on his own. I don't correct him, I just make sure that I always use the right term.

Oh, and I use bum or butt.

Jen4033 · September 2013

I've honestly gone back & forth, but will be trying to call it by proper name more regularly. I've usually said Winky though

jldubb0626 · September 2013

We use penis. On occasion I'll say "Eli, quit pulling on your friend. You'll want to use it someday!" But when he gets to an age where he starts communicating his body parts, I'll make sure he knows we call it a penis. We use butt for his backside. I always say "Let's go change your butt" when he poops and he'll run through the house yelling "Change butt, change butt!" all the way to his room.

nbbride06 · September 2013

We use vagina and penis. Growing up it was pee pee and weiner - no idea if that was the kids or parents who came up with that

halfthetree · September 2013

megngregk said:

KaitiMac said:

MarBee1214 said:

I think its going to feel weird to me, but I want to use proper names because of what happened to me when I was only 3 years old. It was the only way I knew how to tell my parents what happened.

This. Real words are important because child molesters never use the anatomical names for body parts - they usually opt for the cutesy stuff. When a kid is used to saying 'penis' and another adult starts calling it his "pee-pee" while doing uncomfortable things, the child is better able to differentiate normal adult behavior from abnormal adult behavior. (source: many years of child care training)

We will be using proper language for this reason. I don't see any reason for cutesy names.

Us too.

Every parent should read "Protecting the Gift" by Gavin Baker ( I think that's his name), it is uncomfortable but important.

cpm1223 · September 2013

I agree that using proper terms is best and we'll be doing that as well.

I do have a question though for the BTDT moms: How often do you even say these words to you kids? I mean, if I'm changing a diaper, I don't see myself giving a play by play to LO about what I'm doing. So at what other times do you find yourself using these words?

csandroo · September 2013

My favorite cutesy term for either one is a "go-go" because you GO pee or poop from it

sugarland726 · September 2013

cpm1223 said:

I agree that using proper terms is best and we'll be doing that as well.

I do have a question though for the BTDT moms: How often do you even say these words to you kids? I mean, if I'm changing a diaper, I don't see myself giving a play by play to LO about what I'm doing. So at what other times do you find yourself using these words?

You won't say it at all for probably the first 2 years. Once you start potty training is when you use it a lot. Specifically "Ok, now let's wipe your vagina." It helps teach her the proper steps of how to use the toilet.

cpm1223 · September 2013

sugarland726 said:

cpm1223 said:

I agree that using proper terms is best and we'll be doing that as well.

I do have a question though for the BTDT moms: How often do you even say these words to you kids? I mean, if I'm changing a diaper, I don't see myself giving a play by play to LO about what I'm doing. So at what other times do you find yourself using these words?

You won't say it at all for probably the first 2 years. Once you start potty training is when you use it a lot. Specifically "Ok, now let's wipe your vagina." It helps teach her the proper steps of how to use the toilet.

Ahh, that makes sense!

mrsjenni · September 2013

sugarland726 said:

cpm1223 said:

I agree that using proper terms is best and we'll be doing that as well.

I do have a question though for the BTDT moms: How often do you even say these words to you kids? I mean, if I'm changing a diaper, I don't see myself giving a play by play to LO about what I'm doing. So at what other times do you find yourself using these words?

You won't say it at all for probably the first 2 years. Once you start potty training is when you use it a lot. Specifically "Ok, now let's wipe your vagina." It helps teach her the proper steps of how to use the toilet.

Yeah I hardly ever say anything. Even when potty training I say "Make sure to wipe yourself." DS calls it his pecker and I have no idea where he picked that up but I just don't correct him. DD doesn't call it anything and she's 3.

jldubb0626 · September 2013

cpm1223 said:

I agree that using proper terms is best and we'll be doing that as well.
I do have a question though for the BTDT moms: How often do you even say these words to you kids? I mean, if I'm changing a diaper, I don't see myself giving a play by play to LO about what I'm doing. So at what other times do you find yourself using these words?

I'm just now starting to use them with DS because we'd like to start introducing the potty soon. And his obsession with his penis right now has me talking about it a lot more than I ever thought I would at 20 months old.

RingOfFire11 · September 2013

sugarland726 said:

Vagina and penis. We don't use cutesy names. She hasn't asked much about the boy parts, but she knows pee comes out of her vagina and poop comes out of her butt. We don't get in to all the specific parts of a vagina.

This exactly.

Jen4033 · September 2013

cpm1223 said:

I agree that using proper terms is best and we'll be doing that as well.
I do have a question though for the BTDT moms: How often do you even say these words to you kids? I mean, if I'm changing a diaper, I don't see myself giving a play by play to LO about what I'm doing. So at what other times do you find yourself using these words?

It feels very strange at first, but when I worked in childcare, I was taught how important it is to somewhat do the "play by play." With whatever you are doing. Basically any talking to your infant is beneficial. So sometimes you resort to a "play by play" when you have run out of things to say. Overall it helps with communication & language development.

Also - I was taught that a baby is a person who also deserves respect. So when you are picking them up to change their diaper, you tell them what you are doing vs just doing it to them. It sounds cheesy, but I liked the idea behind it. So I have always been one of those people who probably looks like a goof walking through the grocery store talking to DS... even if he doesn't fully understand.

Deblondie1 · September 2013

Jen4033 said:

cpm1223 said:

I agree that using proper terms is best and we'll be doing that as well.
I do have a question though for the BTDT moms: How often do you even say these words to you kids? I mean, if I'm changing a diaper, I don't see myself giving a play by play to LO about what I'm doing. So at what other times do you find yourself using these words?

It feels very strange at first, but when I worked in childcare, I was taught how important it is to somewhat do the "play by play." With whatever you are doing. Basically any talking to your infant is beneficial. So sometimes you resort to a "play by play" when you have run out of things to say. Overall it helps with communication & language development.
Also - I was taught that a baby is a person who also deserves respect. So when you are picking them up to change their diaper, you tell them what you are doing vs just doing it to them. It sounds cheesy, but I liked the idea behind it. So I have always been one of those people who probably looks like a goof walking through the grocery store talking to DS... even if he doesn't fully understand.

This is how I am with DD. Don't worry, you aren't alone lol

sugarland726 · September 2013

blondie7385 said:

My friend has a son and they call it his "worm." I have to discuss what we are gonna call it with my husband. I will probably call it his penis though.

That also makes it complicated for other parents. When my daughter is touching a worm or holding her lovey (a legit stuffed animal), it's going to be weird for the other children who call their parts that. I can only imagine the playground discussions that may happen!

rowanthefrog · September 2013

I say penis, scrotum and vagina. When my 2 yr old is in the bathroom with me, he points to my "gina." I don't believe in cutesy names for private areas. I remember reading something about it helping prevent sexual abuse too.

https://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/153735/what_do_your_kids_call

A

Armyratt · September 2013

Penis and vagina but my daughter would say china instead of vagina so it kinda stuck for her.

Piach · September 2013

It depends on the situation for us. We use "private parts" a lot and lately DD has been sticking her hands in her pants and it doesn't seem right to say stop touch your vagina, so I will say "take your hands out of your crouch."

DD uses butt, so we all use it.

rowanthefrog · September 2013

My friend's nieces and nephews call their privates their "junk." They are ages 5-17. I think its horrible. How can you possibly teach a girl to respect her own body and a boy to respect his and the bodies of other women when they are calling their own privates "junk."

A

rowanthefrog · September 2013

cpm1223 said:

I agree that using proper terms is best and we'll be doing that as well.
I do have a question though for the BTDT moms: How often do you even say these words to you kids? I mean, if I'm changing a diaper, I don't see myself giving a play by play to LO about what I'm doing. So at what other times do you find yourself using these words?

It starts to come up a lot around potty training time, that's for sure. Also, my boys are constantly yanking on themselves. CONSTANTLY. So there is a lot of "stop playing with your penis." Also around bathtime. And when they are in the bathroom with me. There was a time when they both realized that I DIDN'T have a penis and then it was "mommy, do you have a scrotum?" So I explained about girls and boys and that girls have a vagina.

A

cnwilbur1030 · September 2013

Private parts, penis, or vagina. Usually use private parts.

LimeDrops · September 2013

I don't use "correct" terminology out of personal preference, but I understand the reasons for those who do. It does shock me to hear it, but I would never judge a family that makes that choice. My major issue though is that almost every claim of anatomical correctness is B.S. Unless your DD has a medical problem, she is not peeing out of her vagina. That's my pet peeve. If you're going to do it, do it right.

aessary03 · September 2013

I've always called it a vagina. When my daughter was little she couldn't say vagina she calls it a ginny. I still refer to her girl parts as a vagina.

Coco1236 · September 2013

I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with "cutesy words" as long as they know the proper names too. I use the word "peachka" for vagina and "pee pee" for penis, I have for a long time and I will continue to do so.

SunflowersBride · September 2013

LimeDrops said:

I don't use "correct" terminology out of personal preference, but I understand the reasons for those who do. It does shock me to hear it, but I would never judge a family that makes that choice. My major issue though is that almost every claim of anatomical correctness is B.S. Unless your DD has a medical problem, she is not peeing out of her vagina. That's my pet peeve. If you're going to do it, do it right.

I mean, no one would stop you from saying "urethra".

Winnieella · September 2013

H and I haven't talked about this. Growing up, it was boys and girls have different parts, girl private parts, and boy private parts, and everyone has a butt. So to be honest, we called it our privates. I think my mom tried to teach us, but I just remember my brother running around saying Boys have a peeis and girls have a bagina.

sugarland726 · September 2013

LimeDrops said:

I don't use "correct" terminology out of personal preference, but I understand the reasons for those who do. It does shock me to hear it, but I would never judge a family that makes that choice. My major issue though is that almost every claim of anatomical correctness is B.S. Unless your DD has a medical problem, she is not peeing out of her vagina. That's my pet peeve. If you're going to do it, do it right.

Well vagina is still closer to being correct than calling it a flower.

LatteLady5 · September 2013

cpm1223 said:

I agree that using proper terms is best and we'll be doing that as well.
I do have a question though for the BTDT moms: How often do you even say these words to you kids? I mean, if I'm changing a diaper, I don't see myself giving a play by play to LO about what I'm doing. So at what other times do you find yourself using these words?

We use vagina and haven't had to use penis but we will. I always talked to her during diaper changes but not always about changing her diaper and rather than saying, "I'm wiping your vagina now. I'd just say "time for a little wipe" or something similar. DD isn't potty trained and it's only come up during bath time or if she's running around naked. She'd ask "is it, is it?" (what is it?) I said "that's your vagina" and now she'll point to it during bath time or if I'm cleaning her and say "gina." She used to say "giney, rawr!" haha it was pretty cute.

I don't really get the whole child molester thing/kids being able to communicate it to the parents. Maybe someone can explain this to me because surely a kid that can say "so and so touched my vagina" can also say "so and so touched my lovey" or whatever. I also can't imagine a situation (right now or for a few years even) that DD would have to explain to another adult that her vagina hurts. Right now if something hurts she just points to it or rubs it and says owie. I SAH though and she's only ever been left with family and very close friends. Maybe the situation would be different otherwise. I do think lovey is a funny term haha (sorry @Wilburd) I also don't think it's probably that confusing for two things to have the same name. DD is only 2 and knows that Pee fills her diaper and P is a letter. She's never confused the two.

And FWIW I know that vagina isn't anatomically correct but I'll teach the exact anatomical terminology when it's age appropriate. She can't differentiate between vulva, labia, vagina etc. right now.

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