Girl moms- can you avoid the princess phase?

JenMatt2010 · September 2013

We are team green but one of my good friends has a 2 1/2 yr old who is obsessed with princess themed anything- tutus, tiaras, etc.

I don't think I can handle having a "princess" if we have a girl. Is it possible to avoid tutus, etc. or do most little girls go through that phase??

Ugh.

Crinita · September 2013

I hope so.

MichelleApple · September 2013

Is it the tutus or the behavior that usually comes with girly girls? Our 6 year old SD loves anything sparkly pink and frilly but she also loves wrestling and has MMA class 4 times a week. I don't mind her wearing princess clothes only because she is also tough. I like the balance and I hope DD will take after some of that too, I just want her to be confident.

babydoll22308 · September 2013

My DD likes those things, but is by no means obsessed. She would like to have tools to help daddy with a baby in hand. She has dress up stuff and barbies and princess stff, but she also has trucks and books and "tools". I think it more so has to do with whatyou expose her to.

shelliescove3 · September 2013

I was a Tom boy growing up so it never occurred to me to use princesses for dd... She has never seen a Disney princess movie but she is obsessed with them! Sometimes they decide.... That being said she also likes trucks, cars, and Thomas the train lol

bkeane619 · September 2013

HATE IT! I did a fairytale theme in our nursery and I try to point out that red riding hood and thumbelina are NOT princesses.

norbert5 · September 2013

I have a almost 4 year old girl and and a 2 year old girl we have done a pretty good job avoiding it.

We were pretty clear in the beginning that we didn't want princess things for the girls, their amazon wish list is princess free, and we don't call them princess.

DD1 does have a Melissa and Doug castle but that is the most princessy item we have.

They both love trains, cars, my little pony, and strawberry shortcake. They also love the Pixar movies.

I hate all the princess crap.

bnikiz · September 2013

I couldnt with dd. She wears tutus and hunts ants lol

JenMatt2010 · September 2013

Haha love all the feedback! I am much more into the classic/color neutral clothes from Baby Gap, etc. than all the sparkly/glittery/sequin shirts...it is going to be a rude awakening if it's a girl and she loves all of that...

Hopefully having a big brother would tone it all down!

HFrizzle · September 2013

Haha! No....we have 3 girls and they've all been through this phase. My youngest is 3 and we watch Cinderella daily, if not several times a day.

trackgirlparis · September 2013

We most certainly will do our best to avoid a major princess phase. I'm okay with some things but I've already nixed the tutus. MIL has tried and I've put my foot down.

I have always had a balance between the girly stuff and the tomboy ways I was drawn too and I'm hoping my little girl can balance the two as well! Love cars, pink heels, hockey, dressing up and playing in dirt!

For those of you who have girls, or if you find out you have a girl @JenMatt2010 I highly recommend the book "Cinderella Ate My Daughter". I read during the 2nd trimester and it was a great read on how society views the whole "princess/girly/pink" ideals for girls.

spldyollie · September 2013

With DD1 we avoided all princess crap and I dressed her neutrally from Gap. As she got older she was quick to tell people not to call her princess. DD2 dodged the bullet too. Super headstrong and into science and math. DD3 stood no chance at the princess mode with the older 2 influencing her. It can be done, but it is a fight with my family to not buy them pink frilly stuff.

JenMatt2010 · September 2013

I am absolutely terrified at what my MIL and some friends will be buying if we have a girl...

I foresee a lot of returns in my future.

trackgirlparis · September 2013

JenMatt2010 said:
I am absolutely terrified at what my MIL and some friends will be buying if we have a girl...

I foresee a lot of returns in my future.

I've already had to return a few things and she isn't even here yet!

kdjudd · September 2013

My daughter is only 15 months old, but I can already tell that she is going to be into all things girly. She puts on my bras, steals all of my jewelry/tries to wear it, and is obsessed with spinning around in her dresses. Some girls are just more prissy than others. As a child I was more of a tomboy and I'm still not super girly. She doesn't get it from me! haha

CousinVicki · September 2013

i would control it as much as i could, particularly by not dressing her in pink./glitter/tutu / princess gear. but most importantly NOT CALLING HER a 'princess' ew gag barf

of cousre if a child gravitates towards those things, then you can't really do much except limit it , if you think it's getting to be too much. then again, as far as disney, though we have a boy, we still don't watch really any disney movies or read any of those stories. i can't see that changing if we had a girl. *shrug

pandaglitter · September 2013

Kids go through phases. I could take away DD's princess dress (I didn't get it for her) but it would be punishing her for liking princesses. I definitely make sure she knows what's important (being a good friend and person and learning and being creative) but she freaking loves her damn princess dress. Now she's moved toward mermaids more than princesses. She's just "girly". I'm not going to force her to do sports or anything, but she does do swimming and plays games with other kids that aren't all about princesses. But yea, if we're at the park just us, she wants me to be queen and her the princess.

She basically latches on to anything princess. I don't want to discourage her too much, but I try to balance it out and watch Star Wars, men in black, and mad monster party. Princess Leia > Sophia the First.

JenMatt2010 · September 2013

CousinVicki said:
i would control it as much as i could, particularly by not dressing her in pink./glitter/tutu / princess gear. but most importantly NOT CALLING HER a 'princess' ew gag barf

Oh don't worry, none of that will be happening. Unfortunately, MIL is not so good at taking hints, even when the hint is telling her very clearly not to do something...

trackgirlparis · September 2013

JenMatt2010 said:

CousinVicki said:
i would control it as much as i could, particularly by not dressing her in pink./glitter/tutu / princess gear. but most importantly NOT CALLING HER a 'princess' ew gag barf

Oh don't worry, none of that will be happening. Unfortunately, MIL is not so good at taking hints, even when the hint is telling her very clearly not to do something...

Are we twins @JenMatt2010 ? Lol

JenMatt2010 · September 2013

Are we twins @JenMatt2010 ? Lol

If your MIL is BSC too, then yes, yes we are. Her only saving grace is that she usually shops at Nordstrom, so I return everything for cash and then buy everything for way cheaper elsewhere... Sorry, DS does not need a $49 sweater. Also she must have forgotten we live in FL because last Xmas she sent him a massive winter wardrobe...

trackgirlparis · September 2013

JenMatt2010 said:

Are we twins @JenMatt2010 ? Lol

If your MIL is BSC too, then yes, yes we are. Her only saving grace is that she usually shops at Nordstrom, so I return everything for cash and then buy everything for way cheaper elsewhere... Sorry, DS does not need a $49 sweater. Also she must have forgotten we live in FL because last Xmas she sent him a massive winter wardrobe...

Mine isn't necessarily BSC but she's borderline sometimes. She just doesn't think before she speaks and acts, and lives in her own little world. I could go on and on, but then I'd frustrate myself and I don't feel like getting worked up tonight lol. Good luck with the girly stuff if you have a girl!

alfan004 · September 2013

I was never really a girly girl growing up and DH is into outdoor stuff (camping, 4 wheelers, dirt bikes, etc.) he's already looking for a mini bike for DD and she hasn't been born yet! Lol. If she wants to wear tutus then that's fine with me. But knowing her daddy, she will also be on a motorcycle at the same time.

JenMatt2010 · September 2013

parisashleymuir said:

JenMatt2010 said:
Are we twins @JenMatt2010 ? Lol

If your MIL is BSC too, then yes, yes we are. Her only saving grace is that she usually shops at Nordstrom, so I return everything for cash and then buy everything for way cheaper elsewhere... Sorry, DS does not need a $49 sweater. Also she must have forgotten we live in FL because last Xmas she sent him a massive winter wardrobe...

Mine isn't necessarily BSC but she's borderline sometimes. She just doesn't think before she speaks and acts, and lives in her own little world. I could go on and on, but then I'd frustrate myself and I don't feel like getting worked up tonight lol. Good luck with the girly stuff if you have a girl!

Haha me too, I need to avoid thinking about her. Have fun with all of your inevitable returns

Arod1087 · September 2013

I'm not Girly at all..but I'm actually excited to buy my little girl princess stuff..I think it's really adorable.weird I know, especially because I'm a jeans a t-shirt type of girl raised with 6 brothers.

June2007 · September 2013

I just let my daughters like what they like without over thinking it. Just like I will do with my son. So when my daughter is wearing boys Spider-Man underwear, a matching spidey shirt, a tiara and tutu while lizard hunting with her barbies I just let her be.

NatesCupcake47 · September 2013

We've nixed the princess nickname with our family and asked them to never buy her princess themed stuff, hoping it helps to avoid the princess attitude.

blondolphn · September 2013

My kid will probably have a princess phase. Maybe I will use it to teach her how to be a lady ie legs together in a dress, be polite, dinner etiquette etc. If I teach her how to be a considerate princess it probably won't be as bad.

karo112 · September 2013

I second the recommendation for "Cinderella Ate My Daughter." I think it's a GREAT book.

We've got a good balance in our house. We would always buy things that were gender neutral - so instead of getting the PINK legos, we got the primary colored ones...just as an example. And we never bought them princess things.

They go to "school" So they've picked up who the princesses are, and they know their names. And at ballet when they get a sticker, it's a princes sticker.

But at home we have a big dress up bin - it has two "princess" outfits and then everything else you can think of - pirates, policeman, doctor, racecar driver....and truthfully they usually pick the non-princess items.

IMO the best way to ENSURE They like all that princess stuff is to make a big deal of it and FORBID it in your house. If you treat it like anything else...and act like it's no big deal, they won't think it's a big deal either.

At the moment, mine would also rather have a JAke and the Neverland Pirate or Mickey Mouse toy than princess....for now....

Good luck

SnoopyLuv · September 2013

DD loves princesses, and super heroes and bugs, too. They go through phases. We never call her a princess, we don't tolerate whiny, spoiled behavior.

It's funny because DH was so anti princess and he's the one who will now buy her the most sparkly, frilly, over the top outfit because "It's for my baby girl!". Gag.

Anyway DD loves girly stuff and we just have fun with it. I do purposefully point her toward more unisex toys sometimes, but every little girl just wants to be pretty and I can't fault her for that.

pmarie33 · September 2013

We tried. We failed.

We watched Tangled thinking she wasn't so much a frilly princess. It went downhill from there. Rapunzel is like the gateway princess.

norbert5 · September 2013

pmarie33 said:
We tried. We failed.

We watched Tangled thinking she wasn't so much a frilly princess. It went downhill from there. Rapunzel is like the gateway princess.

So true and don't forget Meridia (?) from Brave. She should be considered another gateway princess.

Wino0920 · September 2013

I don't see why kids just can't be into what they like. Why try and control it? I was a "princess" girl and then I went onto my next phase and then a new one and just enjoyed being a kid. Why does she have to be into what mom likes? I am not a throw up pink princess kind of girl now but my daughter can be what she likes to be.

MySunshine213 · September 2013

You will have no say in what she likes. My DD is NOT a huge girly-girl. Occasionally she will wear a tutu or play princess, but she would much rather play in the dirt. She is going to be Diego for Halloween. I don't think her super girly phase has come yet... ETA: DD has a lot of princess stuff, 99% were gifts. People just assume little girls love princesses. She has never seen a princess movie.. I have offered them to her but she is like "No thanks" or gets bored 5 min in. However, she has seen Bambi, Wall-E, and Toy Story a bunch of times. I don't mind when people buy her princess stuff, but I know she won't really care about it.

norbert5 · September 2013

Wino0920 said:
I don't see why kids just can't be into what they like. Why try and control it? I was a "princess" girl and then I went onto my next phase and then a new one and just enjoyed being a kid. Why does she have to be into what mom likes? I am not a throw up pink princess kind of girl now but my daughter can be what she likes to be.

I don't care if she is into what I like I just don't like the message some of the princess stuff (as well as other toys, movies, etc.) project and that is why we avoid it. Just like I control what they eat by what I keep in the house I control what they play with the same way.

Plus it can easily get out of hand. We have one very cute castle set. A lot of our friends that also have girls have crazy amounts of princess stuff and not a lot of other toys that are important to development (blocks, puzzles, age appropriate board games).

JenMatt2010 · September 2013

Don't worry all, I wasn't trying to say if it's a girl and she likes princesses, I will forbid it. I was merely asking if this is a normal phase/how to tone it down, and I'm hoping our family/friends don't push it on her at an early age by buying her 0-3 month tutus.

hartsl01 · September 2013

I was definitely a girly girl throughout most all of my childhood. My parents put me in t ball when I was five because I thought I wanted to play. I have full stage makeup on in my picture (I would totally post the picture if I had a copy) because I told my mom that you couldn't take pictures without makeup (she had them taken the same day as my dance pictures). Needless to say, I maybe played three games of t-ball and spent 23 years dancing.

I don't see any problem with the princess phase as long as you teach your child not to be a snobby, bratty, princess. If my kid likes princesses, who am I to discourage them from liking what they want, boy or girl?

SHAWNACPA · September 2013

We are having a girl and I feel the same way you do about it... Liking princesses is bad enough, but I will not let anyone refer to her a 'princess." When I think of a princess, I think of a self centered brat...

SnoopyLuv · September 2013

JenMatt2010 said:

Don't worry all, I wasn't trying to say if it's a girl and she likes princesses, I will forbid it. I was merely asking if this is a normal phase/how to tone it down, and I'm hoping our family/friends don't push it on her at an early age by buying her 0-3 month tutus.

This doesn't make any sense. I know you're not being literal about the 0-3 month tutus, but try to relax. It can be so much fun having a girl. When it's Christmas and Birthday time, point relatives and friends in the direction of books, blocks, puzzles, etc. This is absolutely not something you need to be concerned with before the age of 1 1/2 or even later.

karo112 · September 2013

So I know that some people are all "Let your kid be who she wants." And I am 100% on board with that - HOWEVER...it's not just because princesses are girly. That really has nothing to do with it. It's the TRAITS that they represent and the mass marketing war that has placed our daughters smack dab in the middle of it.

I'm NOT a feminist by ANY means but the whole concept of the princess culture...I don't want that to be something my kids emulate. Weak women who need to be rescued by the handsome prince? no thank you.

Same reason I'm not on board with the Twilight stuff when my kids are teenagers...

So if she wants to be a princess, fine, but it's not going to be the marketed Disney princesses that just teach lessons that I'm not on board with in terms of my kids development.

LeaLea123 · September 2013

We didn't even try to avoid it! DD lived in her princess dresses and tiaras! She also loved Legos and building blocks! I let her choose who she wants to be. She also likes skulls and bones and monsters. I never thought I'd have a girly girl, but I do! And I even had fun playing dress up with her! Now she's 9 and loves her laptop and iPod.

pmarie33 · September 2013

Even though DD is into the princess thing, she still loves to get dirty. We just want her to be happy.

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