So confused!!

justandhay · September 2013

No I'm not fucking kidding you.... Don't be so rude

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

justandhay said:
@sweettea42 what is your damn problem... I'm trying to get help here! Can everyone not see the reason I called you a bitch in the first place?? I have learned my lesson... I will get my help elsewhere... I'm so glad that you can sit on your ass all day making us women feel even more
Confused than we already are?? Get a damn life.

Bingo anyone? I've got the booze, popcorn & big soft pretzels.

SCSmith2011 · September 2013

justandhay said:

I don't think I ever was being rude all I said was thanks for the positive feedback and everyone kind of jumped on me.... I never wanted to start a fight or be rude to anyone

Uhhh, and then your very next post was this:

justandhay said:

Any advice is great advice... Sometimes it just seems like everyone Is so negative on here.... And a lot of you guys act like us first timers are complete idiots. We are all here to get help and advice. Not to get belittled and treated like we are stupid.

And then this:

justandhay said:

It also seems like the same ten women sit and post replies.. Do you all just sit around all day waiting to crush someone's hopes?

And then you started flagging people who were just posting funny gifs. That's when people jumped on you. You got good advice at the beginning.

justandhay · September 2013

The gifs aren't funny they are rude

SCSmith2011 · September 2013

The first gif that you flagged? That was so not rude. Prim is right. You're being a little over sensative and melodramatic.

TeeJ526 · September 2013

justandhay said:
The gifs aren't funny they are rude

Making fun of other women's infertility is rude.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

thatsslightlyraven said:
There is a clique of old
posters who have been here forever and they try to scare away 90% of
the new people who have questions or excitement. It's just because they
are bitter that they've been here so long. There are also people who
jump on that hateful bandwagon, simply because they want to fit in.

I
think this board could be really awesome if a group of people were
committed to making it more positive and welcoming new people who have
questions. Even if those questions are abnormal or some regulars think they are silly questions. I hope you
will think about staying on the board, and being a part of that
movement towards positivity, even if it means you will have to put up with some haters first!

Oh good. YOU.
A) I am a graduate that lurks for fun. I'm TTA for now, but not everyone that responds has "been here forever".

Just because a poster has been here a while doesn't make them bitter. You need to cut it out with that shit.

C) I find it kind of gross how you claim to want more positivity on here but call long time TTGP regs bitter. If you lurk like you say then you should know this is not positive. It's hurtful, low-down & petty. GTFO with this "we want nicer posters" thing if you can't even bother to lead by example.

SCSmith2011 · September 2013

jefa621 said:

Obviously justandhay needs to go back and re-read this entire thread.

I know right? I'm sitting here thinking, "Is she reading the same thread I am???"

Edited becuase I really do know how to spell know.

justandhay · September 2013

I am reading the same thread all of you are... I understand it's frustrating and hurtful what everyone is saying... But when I very first posted this I felt like people were being kind of ride to me maybe I took it the wrong way but. When she said "how do you even know you ovulated?" That kind of makes me feel like I'm
Being belittled in a way. We are all dealing with the same issues here. Some have been dealing with this longer than others. I am sorry if I have offended anyone. I thought I could come to this board for help... I have been looking around and trying to educate myself on the BBT stuff but it's a little confusing to me. I will keep reading up and try to figure it out. I hope everyone can forgive me for being such a newbie bitch and hopefully I will learn how all this works

SCSmith2011 · September 2013

justandhay said:

I am reading the same thread all of you are... I understand it's frustrating and hurtful what everyone is saying... But when I very first posted this I felt like people were being kind of ride to me maybe I took it the wrong way but. When she said "how do you even know you ovulated?" That kind of makes me feel like I'm Being belittled in a way. We are all dealing with the same issues here. Some have been dealing with this longer than others. I am sorry if I have offended anyone. I thought I could come to this board for help... I have been looking around and trying to educate myself on the BBT stuff but it's a little confusing to me. I will keep reading up and try to figure it out. I hope everyone can forgive me for being such a newbie bitch and hopefully I will learn how all this works

Yes you took it the wrong way. People come on here all the time saying they are late or whatever and they don't really know if/when they ovulated. So we generally ask posters if they knew when they O'd if it's not apparent from the OP. She was in no way being rude.

TeeJ526 · September 2013

justandhay said:

I am reading the same thread all of you are... I understand it's frustrating and hurtful what everyone is saying... But when I very first posted this I felt like people were being kind of ride to me maybe I took it the wrong way but. When she said "how do you even know you ovulated?" That kind of makes me feel like I'm Being belittled in a way. We are all dealing with the same issues here. Some have been dealing with this longer than others. I am sorry if I have offended anyone. I thought I could come to this board for help... I have been looking around and trying to educate myself on the BBT stuff but it's a little confusing to me. I will keep reading up and try to figure it out. I hope everyone can forgive me for being such a newbie bitch and hopefully I will learn how all this works

That's the thing about writing on the Internet. You can't always accurate assess someone's tone. Just because PP said "How do you even know you ovulated" and you took it in a belittling way, doesn't mean that's the way it was meant. If you throw it out there in your OP that you ovulated yesterday, we're going to ask you "How do you know?" We're an educated group of women that like to know what's going on with our bodies and those that come to this board, we want them to have that same opportunity. And if you don't know for certain that you've ovulated, we'll direct you to Fertility Friend that will show you how to chart. But if you weren't so busy trying to pick apart one sentence, and lurked the board to see how helpful we are, you would've seen that.

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

justandhay said:
The gifs aren't funny they are rude

I dunno. I think they're funny. Maybe you need to lighten the fuck up and/or get the fuck out if you don't like the way we roll?

All anyone did was answer your questions & direct you to other resources to help you out. You flipped shit and went nuts w/Raven there. I think it'd be best if you find another forum. You shat all over your bridges & then burned them aligning with anyone who uses the "bitter" card.

mak7788 · September 2013

@justandhay: I love how you're saying that we should be out having sex or that it's all the same people posting on here....acting like they're high schoolers, etc..

But then aren't you doing the exact thing by getting back on here and commenting back? Just stop already. You're not going to win here and no one jumped down your throat to begin with. You kind of had a chance to redeem yourself, and then you decided to back up "Raven"'s hurtful comments about IF.

Now...why don't you get out of here and go have sex since clearly none of us are getting any, right?

I'd enter a snarky .gif here, but I don't feel like researching how to insert them into a comment, haha!

mak7788 · September 2013

lol!!! Thanks @crazycornball

justandhay · September 2013

Nope i just barely joined

justandhay · September 2013

K are we done here?

justandhay · September 2013

This is my board isn't it? You guys leave!!

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

justandhay said:
This is my board isn't it? You guys leave!!

Lol. This is your thread but most certainly not your board.

PS- just because you start a thread doesn't mean you have control of it. Folks can post all they want as long as they don't violate the terms of service. You're welcome.

justandhay · September 2013

I am new here.. This is my "thread"
Sorry for the confusion..... But you guys are viscous...

justandhay · September 2013

i was using my phone, must have auto corrected on me, sorry. i just want to be able to get on these boards and threads and talk to real women who can help me..

teresaide · September 2013

justandhay said:

This is my board isn't it? You guys leave!!

You leave!

No, YOU leave!

Squeepatrol · September 2013

justandhay said:
i was using my phone, must have auto corrected on me, sorry. i just want to be able to get on these boards and threads and talk to real women who can help me..

It does not come off that way. You've said some horrible things to people who did nothing but post (rightfully) cheeky gifs and answer your original question with wise advice. You have only half apologized and continue to call us vicious and tell us to get out of your thread. As I said before, it is not our job to help you learn about your own body. This can be an amazingly supportive place but you should try to lurk and give support before you come in here demanding sunshine.

justandhay · September 2013

MauiBliss

justandhay · September 2013

sorry i am at work so i didnt have a ton of time to loook at it but yes i looked at it... @mauibliss i was being serious when i told you about the BBT... i wasnt trying to be rude in anyway at all. i know that everyone is trying to help me, i get that. i was just answering what you asked me. like all of you are doing for me.

teresaide · September 2013

justandhay said:

MauiBliss

So here's how I do it. I do BBT throughout my entire cycle (take my temp with a basal body thermometer at the same time each morning before I talk, or get up, or do anything and record the temp with Fertility Friend) plus, from cycle day 10 onward, I test my FMU (first morning urine) with an OPK. The OPK tests for LH which is the hormone that triggers ovulation - which you already know. A positive OPK lets you know that you MIGHT ovulate in the next 12-48 hours, but there's no way to guarantee that ovulation actually happened with an OPK. This is where the BBT comes into play. When you get a temperature dip followed by at least three BBT temps that are higher than your pre-ovulation temps, that is the only thing that conforms that ovulation actually happened.

If you want, take a look at my chart (click the fish in my signature). I have had NINE positive OPKs this cycle, but I know that ovulation has not been confirmed because I've never had three high temps in a row. If you Google 'Sample BBT chart', you'll see what a 'normal' chart looks like.

Hope this helps. And when you have some time, read through the newbie blog. I know it seems daunting, but it will really help you understand temping, and paint a better picture of what is going on inside your body.

justandhay · September 2013

i got the fertility friend app on my phone and it is sooo confusing to me! i must be so dumb. haha thanks again for the help

KingLED · September 2013

justandhay said:

i got the fertility friend app on my phone and it is sooo confusing to me! i must be so dumb. haha thanks again for the help

Well at least she got something right.

TeeJ526 · September 2013

justandhay said:

i got the fertility friend app on my phone and it is sooo confusing to me! i must be so dumb. haha thanks again for the help

Not dumb. It just takes time to properly time everything, especially when to start using OPKs. You'll get the hang of it, but keep reading their tutorials.

teresaide · September 2013

justandhay said:

i got the fertility friend app on my phone and it is sooo confusing to me! i must be so dumb. haha thanks again for the help

You're not dumb. You just need to take the time to learn it and research it. I personally like entering my data in on the Fertility Friend website better than the app. Now go, and read about ovulation, temping, and OPKs.

justandhay · September 2013

@teresaide thank you for the help. i looked at your chart and it looks confusing lol. but i see where you mean the three days of a higher temp. does it have to be exactly 3 days? i just thought that if it dipped at all you were good to go. but that makes sense now. i dont know if i am smart enough to do all this. i was telling my husband today that i wish you could just go to the store and buy a baby! haha i mean we just barely started TTC so i really shouldnt expect to get preggo the first time (as nice as that would be!

) I am stilll waiting for my cycle to start over or to get a BFP. i just wish that my periods were more normal than they are. they can be very long. and/or very short. its really frustrating. and scary because i dont know how long it is going to take us to conceive.

justandhay · September 2013

thank you to the few of you that decided to help me out even after i was a total beast! i really appreciate it very much!

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

justandhay said:

MauiBliss

Really. Take the tutorials on FF. Spend the time. Its worth it.

You aren't sure when you ovulated and WE aren't sure when you ovulated. That's the point. We don't know and the only way to know is to chart. You don't know your body any more than we do at this rate.

pjaimeal · September 2013

Can we end this thread with a gif?

Turtle0806 · September 2013

justandhay said:

@teresaide thank you for the help. i looked at your chart and it looks confusing lol. but i see where you mean the three days of a higher temp. does it have to be exactly 3 days? i just thought that if it dipped at all you were good to go. but that makes sense now. i dont know if i am smart enough to do all this. i was telling my husband today that i wish you could just go to the store and buy a baby! haha i mean we just barely started TTC so i really shouldnt expect to get preggo the first time (as nice as that would be! ) I am stilll waiting for my cycle to start over or to get a BFP. i just wish that my periods were more normal than they are. they can be very long. and/or very short. its really frustrating. and scary because i dont know how long it is going to take us to conceive.

Now that you're playing nice, here's my 2 cents. Take the charting course through fertility friend. Even if you ignore the first few about cervical mucus, save them for later and read the ones about temping. Temp every day and input the data. Keep doing the OPKs. Input your result into FF. then, let the program interpret your chart for you. If you have good data and it detects ovulation, it will give you crosshairs that basically point out when you ovulated. As you have more time and practice, you can even play the charting game on fertility friends program that lets you pick the ovulation day on other people's charts and then tell you the right answer. That helped me figure it out. It looks confusing until you actually do it. Eta spelling

greeneyed_bride · September 2013

thatsslightlyraven said:

After 3 weeks, a HPT should be positive. The bleeding could be anything, sorry! Keep testing and eventually you will either get a + or get AF. If you go 60 days w/o AF, see your doctor.

I don't know if you have been reading the responses to your question, but I hope you will stick around on this board. There is a clique of old posters who have been here forever and they try to scare away 90% of the new people who have questions or excitement. It's just because they are bitter that they've been here so long. There are also people who jump on that hateful bandwagon, simply because they want to fit in.

I think this board could be really awesome if a group of people were committed to making it more positive and welcoming new people who have questions. Even if those questions are abnormal or some regulars think they are silly questions. I hope you will think about staying on the board, and being a part of that movement towards positivity, even if it means you will have to put up with some haters first!

Using the word "bitter" to describe people who aren't pregnant but hope to be is pretty rude, and it's definitely not appreciated on this board, especially for people who have been trying for years. It's a really hurtful word for some women, so it's ironic that you'd use it in the same post that you ask other people to be positive and welcoming.

OP - I've had periods that started and then stopped for a day for no good reason. It actually happened to me last month (and I posted about it on this board because I didn't know which day to count as CD1.) The human body doesn't operate by any exact science or by a calendar. And the truth is that if you weren't temping, you don't know for sure that you ovulated. OPKs tell you that your body was gearing up to ovulate by releasing luteinizing hormone, but they can't tell you if you actually do ovulate. It's completely possible that a woman's body would release luteinizing hormone to "try to" trigger ovulation but the woman didn't have any mature follicles ready to release an egg, and so she wouldn't ovulate. It's not belittling to tell you that you don't know if you ovulated, it's just scientific fact.

ETA - I typed this and then somehow didn't click send for like an hour, so I missed that you've apologized-ish, OP. But good move.

justandhay · September 2013

im just gonna have sex every single day! maybe that will boost my chances!?

teresaide · September 2013

justandhay said:

@teresaide thank you for the help. i looked at your chart and it looks confusing lol. but i see where you mean the three days of a higher temp. does it have to be exactly 3 days? i just thought that if it dipped at all you were good to go. but that makes sense now. i dont know if i am smart enough to do all this. i was telling my husband today that i wish you could just go to the store and buy a baby! haha i mean we just barely started TTC so i really shouldnt expect to get preggo the first time (as nice as that would be! ) I am stilll waiting for my cycle to start over or to get a BFP. i just wish that my periods were more normal than they are. they can be very long. and/or very short. its really frustrating. and scary because i dont know how long it is going to take us to conceive.

Girl. You are talking to the queen of irregular cycles, so no complaining about yours being irregular. As you see, this cycle for me has been 57 days and I still haven't ovulated. And remember, most girls on this board have been trying for a lot longer than you, so try to be sensitive to that as well. My husband and I have been trying for 7 months now. Some women take years. Get ready for a long ride. But, again, the more you know about conceiving, the better.

gscoville · September 2013

justandhay said:

I don't think I ever was being rude all I said was thanks for the positive feedback and everyone kind of jumped on me.... I never wanted to start a fight or be rude to anyone

Now I'm confused, did you grow up in some weird place where calling people bitches isn't considered rude? Also, I'd like to know where on this board it says we are OBLIGATED to be supportive to anyone, much less people who call us names. Honestly Handywhatever, this board is clearly not your speed, why stay? We are knowledgeable and we have fun while doling out our hard earned wisdom with no BS and puppy farts and rainbows and glitter. Those all make us choke, quite frankly. If straight forward talk and honesty is not your cup of tea, you may as well leave now. You're already worked up and this thread has been pretty mild compared to others, so get gone while the gettin's good! Or if you plan to stick around, UNCLENCH!!

GoaliesWife123 · September 2013

www.fertilityfriend.com -> tutorials

"Taking charge of your fertility"

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

justandhay said:
im just gonna have sex every single day! maybe that will boost my chances!?

You can try that, but ED sex is exhausting & doesn't guarantee conception. We have had success with every other day, but I believe we were also just lucky. Your best bet is to chart, identify your fertile window and hump it out.

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