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Need advice. NBR. (Long.. sorry!)

ctm1013ctm1013 member
in Babies: 6 - 9 Months
  It's been awhile since I've been on here, but I wanted to post this up where my friends/family won't see it. Just looking for some input!

   The month of August was EXTREMELY stressful for me. My DH is military and left Aug. 7 for a month. A month is not a terribly long time (compared to deployments), but there was SO much that was going to happen that month. I had to register for my classes (full-time online student), get all of my books and supplies, and then classes began on the 19th. On top of that, we were right smack in the middle of closing on our new home (yay for more space!) and DH had a POA drawn up so I could sign everything for him while he was away. Closing was originally set for Aug. 9... got pushed to the 16th... then the 23rd... and we FINALLY closed on the 26th (yay)!
   However, the house we were renting had a few things that needed to be done there before we could move out. When we moved in, we had an agreement with the owner to do some repairs and painting in exchange for a few months rent-free. Since the stupid banks couldn't get their sh!t together and allow us to close on time, I was left with 5 days to move us out and complete the painting. 

   Did I mention I was attempting to do all of this with a 3 year old and EBF 8 month old in tow? 
   Yeah. Not fun.

   Out of all of that mess, I DID enroll in school and start classes, I DID complete the closing of the house, and I DID successfully move us from one home into another. I didn't complete the painting I needed to do in the house... at least not all of it. 

   The week of closing, I began having what I'm guessing were panic attacks? I felt like someone had placed my chest in a vice or I had a constricting band wrapped around my lungs. I got lightheaded and dizzy easily and it felt like I was drowning with every breath. Like literally felt like I was not getting enough air. Every time I would try to take a deep breath, it felt like my lungs would fill up halfway and then... nothing. I would start trembling when I reached that point. I knew I had too much on my plate and told the owner of the house that I couldn't complete the work until after my husband came home. I took a little break and tried to relax some, but the breathing issues would NOT go away.
   When DH came home, I told him about it. Well, more like he knew something was wrong because I was trying to tell him something and kept having to pause to catch my breath. He asked if I was okay and took a listen to my lungs (he's in the medical field) and said everything sounded fine. The very next day, I was in a rush to get out the door on time to bring my son to preschool and almost fainted walking down our stairs to my car. I actually had to sit down and wait before I could get up again.
   Once things started to settle down some (no work at old house, DH home, good schedule) it started to ease up. But only for a week. I'm now back to having the issues with breathing and it's all day, every day. On top of that, I am easily startled (my 3 year old has scared the crap out of me three times in the past 2 days... by saying "Hi Mommy." I actually freaked him out one of the times because I jumped in my seat and yelped), afraid of being home alone, tired all the time, and constantly feeling like I'm on edge. My brain feels fuzzy - like I'm in a fog. I can't remember important things (unless I write it down) and I can't focus. I just want to stay in bed and sleep until I feel normal. My supply has taken a hit as well. 
   I keep trying to tell myself that all of that stress is gone, but it is NOT doing a thing. I have a happy marriage, two wonderful kids, a loving family, and great grades in school. School, kids, and housework are literally the only things I have to do now. But I feel like I have all this residual stress that I can't shake. DH says I need to get out of the house and do something (I actually run 3 miles 3x a week and go to the gym) but I don't think that's it. I feel like I'm losing it.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? I've considered going to my doctor, but I really don't want to be placed on any meds. But I'm worried because I feel terrible and my supply has taken a hit. I'm also becoming less patient with my kids. :/ I hate being that person. DD is still getting plenty of BM, but only because I've been eating lactation cookies like a fiend. 
If you've dealt with anxiety/stress like this, what did you do??? Also, has anyone had any experience with anti-anxiety meds and BFing? I have no clue what to do about this... 

**Sorry this post is so long! I've had a lot on my mind and needed to get it all out there...**
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Re: Need advice. NBR. (Long.. sorry!)

  • ctm1013ctm1013 member
    edited September 2013
    DD was only 6 and 7 months at the time... whoops! She will be 8 months on the 27th of this month. Ha... this is how scatterbrained I am...
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  • Ler621Ler621 member

    I have dealt (and still dealing) with stress and anxiety, and it really sucks! I would go and talk to your doctor, I'm sure there is a way they can help you without going on medication...on the other hand if medication is necessary, they will work with you so as to not impact negatively on breastfeeding.

     

    With everything that you have stated above that has been going on in your life for the past month (and I'm sure you have the usual every day stress triggers you probably haven't mentioned), it's no wonder you feel stressed! I hope everything works out for you. p.s. it looks like our LO's are one day apart! my DS will be 8 mos. on the 28th.

     

    Stress sucks. It can affect you physically as well as mentally. Everyone needs a little help every now and then. I hope you find relief from this :)

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