BTDT Mama ::Check In::

ABColeslaw · September 2013

Sorry I'm a day late! What do we think about the day? Do we want to keep it on Friday?

This week lets talk about our hopes and fear with Adding a new little to the family. And of course any vents, updates, funny stories you want to share

ABColeslaw · September 2013

One of the main reasons I wanted another child is so that Asher wouldn't be alone. I love my siblings, each one of them represents one of the best parts of my life. It has been such a gift having them.

That said, I do worry about how Asher will adjust not even to a new baby...my brain isn't there yet, but to me being pregnant. I'm not sure he can even remotely grasp that. I'm also worried that I'd get HG again and it will affect the time I have with him.

Unknown · September 2013

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ABColeslaw · September 2013

Carabiner252 said:

Fridays work for me!

My major concern about having another baby would be that my son feels jealous or left out of the process. I definitely plan to have him be the big helper and play up the big brother role. I'm a little sad that they won't be closer in age because it will be a while before the baby can really hang as a playmate. We have spent time talking about brothers and sisters and babies and he seemed okay with it, didn't run screaming or anything. We shall see. Judge away but the baby is definitely going to have a big brother present waiting at the hospital for DS.

No judgement, we're already talking about what we want to do for our "big brother" gift.

Unknown · September 2013

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ho11yday · September 2013

I am so looking forward to DS having a playmate. DS seems to crave interaction from other children so I'm hoping he'll enjoy his siblings when they are of an age to play.

On the other hand, I'm afraid he'll accidentally hurt the baby. He has been so gentle with the cats and dog, so I don't really know why I worry so much.

TheBeeCharmer · September 2013

I always wanted more than two because my husband and I had only one sibling and wanted more. A third will probably complete our family. Even though I know we want three, I still love our little family dynamic now and am always worried about how it'll change. I felt this way when I was pregnant with my second too!

MCH77 · September 2013

I plan on using Christmas as our "you're going to be a big brother focus."

I want to get him a baby doll, so he can help me with it. And some big brother books. He loves to help, so I'm really going to focus on that.

It is funny when I was pg with DS I couldn't wait to meet my LO. Now I can't wait to see DS as a big brother, it warms my heart.

I just need to move past this ms so I can be a good mom again.

Chellbell20 · September 2013

I can't wait to see DD as a sibling. She loves the babies at daycare and my bffs DS who is 1.5 years younger than her. I'm still expecting jealousy when she has to share me, but I'm hoping she'll be my little helper too. Once my belly starts to show I'll start playing up the big sister act. I asked her yesterday if mommy should have a baby and the response was her jumping up and down yelling yes.

flutepharm87 · September 2013

I'm worried about so many things with this LO. I'm worried about being outnumbered (we have 1 kid per parent right now). I'm worried that the twins will be jealous. I'm worried that they won't care at all and that this baby will be a third wheel its entire life. But they definitely like to help out, so once we announce to the family, we're gonna play up the mommy's helper stuff as well. DH won't like it, but they'll definitely be getting baby dolls for the holidays as well!

awisern · September 2013

MCH77 said:
I plan on using Christmas as our "you're going to be a big brother focus."

I want to get him a baby doll, so he can help me with it. And some big brother books. He loves to help, so I'm really going to focus on that.

It is funny when I was pg with DS I couldn't wait to meet my LO. Now I can't wait to see DS as a big brother, it warms my heart.

I just need to move past this ms so I can be a good mom again.

We got DS a baby for his second birthday. We got the Manhattan Baby Stella boy doll...it's a great doll! DS really likes it and plays with it occasionally. ..I'm sure he will play with it more as we start to talk more about being a big brother.

MrsT2008 · September 2013

I can't wait to see A as a sister, she loves babies and loves to help out. But of course I fear that she won't adjust well. She's very adaptable and really has been such an easy baby/toddler but obviously her world is going to be shaken up quite a bit!

I worry that having a newborn will strain our relationship since I will need to give extra attention to the baby (esp because I will be nursing).

I hope that they are close and love each other and will always have a built-in playmate.

And I totally plan on having a gift from the baby to give A in the hospital and I will have her pick out something little to give the baby too.

rMe6411 · September 2013

DD loves babies. She's only 14 months but her first word was baby. She always has a baby doll and she carries it so cute and pats its butt. Our close friends have a DD the same age and she just loves her. She's always giving her hugs. But with the hugs she doesn't know her own strength yet and it looks like she is wrestling so I'm fearful she will think the new baby is a doll. I'm also worried about making sure she gets quality time with me. My favorite part of the day is our bedtime routine and I've always been the one to put her to sleep. I really want to stick to that when this LO gets here so she doesn't feel left out. We are also somewhat concerned also money and when the time comes to put them both in care will we be able to afford it? Ahh so many worries.

runningyogimama · September 2013

I'm very excited for them to be close in age (13 months a part). I actually never felt like my brother and my 3 year age difference was too much, but we want more than 2 kids, and I don't want that big of gap between all of them. I'm excited to see the eventual sibling love.

I'm worried about the first few weeks, especially, or DD having spoiled us by being a fairly easy baby. The thought of 2 babies intimidates me, too--like going grocery shopping/running errands. I'm glad DD will be young enough not to be jealous. I'm glad we will learn how to balance 2 early on in both of their lives.

I've heard so many people say (especially girls from me daughter's BMB) that they don't want another one any time soon because they would feel like they're cheating their first out of babyhood by having another baby--I actually don't feel that way at all, and I was hoping I wasn't the only one.

chillypenguin · September 2013

My LO's will be around 20 months apart. I wanted them close in age, my sister and I are 18 months apart and it's been great. Even now, we got married and had our first babies close together. I know it's no guarantee that DD and this LO will be close, but I hope so!

I am worried because I look at DD now, and she is so young. I know her development will change dramatically in the next 7 months, so I am trying not to worry too much. It's also been really hard feeling so sick and tired with a toddler. I am hoping that passes quickly so I can feel like a better mom to her.

Have any of the BTDT moms had 2u2 before? Was it hard for your first child to understand what was going on?

Miles2Go · September 2013

I'm just so tired. I'm worried about how I'll actually be able to function with two. I don't want to neglect dd in favor of the newborn. I'm worried about DH not understanding how much support I'll need. I'm worried about maintaining my business (which is essentially a one woman show) and I'm worried about the effect a new baby will have in my marriage. And all of that has made me not yet able to get excited about this pregnancy.

miniray · September 2013

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be out soon

My spotting has picked up and I'm now wearing a pad. I had sharp stabbing pains in my lower abdomen last night and I knew that wasn't good. I see my doctor tomorrow and have an u/s scheduled for Tuesday. I'm feeling really bummed but DS keeps giving me hugs and kissing. He's too sweet.

His(1&only)wife · September 2013

Carabiner252 said:
I may even have DS bring a small gift for the baby too, he can pick something out all by himself at the store. I'm probably over-thinking this!

We are going to do this and a "big brother" gift. DS loves picking out presents so I think he will have fun with it.

I'm excited to see DS as a big brother. He has been asking for a baby since January and has all of these plans for how he will be nice to "his baby". He will be 5 at the time so I am hoping it isn't to much of a gap. I'm worried about how tired I will be and how time consuming a newborn will be and that DS won't feel left out.

Empireceo · September 2013

I'm just hoping that I have time to brush my teeth every day when the little one comes. I'm fully prepared for my life to be a train wreck. I'm probably going to work on potty training my son kind of early to minimize the amount of time I have two in diapers.

Other than that, booze?

vcusano · September 2013

I'm nervous about DS being upset about having to share me with his sibling, but, he has been asking for a sister or brother for months now so fingers crossed he knows what he wants lol! I'm concerned myself because its always me and my buddy and I'm nervous I'll feel bad that I won't be able to give DS 100% of my attention. But I'm one of 4 and love having siblings, they're my best friends now, so I'm excited that I'll be able to give DS a sibling. So many emotions right now, but I'm sure it will all work out

ABColeslaw · September 2013

miniray said:

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be out soon My spotting has picked up and I'm now wearing a pad. I had sharp stabbing pains in my lower abdomen last night and I knew that wasn't good. I see my doctor tomorrow and have an u/s scheduled for Tuesday. I'm feeling really bummed but DS keeps giving me hugs and kissing. He's too sweet.

I"m sorry Mama, you're in my thoughts

ABColeslaw · September 2013

heatherbee710 said:

I worry about being a good mom while I'm pregnant. I'm already experiencing alot of morning sickness all day long and it's hard to want to move off the couch. I also have the shortest temper and yelled at my little guy yesterday because he was beings picky eater all day. I immediately apologized and cried for yelling like I did, but it made me worried that my short fuse while I'm pregnant is going to make me the kind of mom I don't want to be on.

@heatherbee710 Don't beat yourself up. I think we all have bad days where we are not the Moms we want to be. I think I've notice my fuse is much shorter because of the hormones. I'm having to give myself a lot of wait time in order to keep my cool. I don't love feeling this way and it makes me feel terrible for my Asher. But I'm just taking deep breaths and moving on with my day. I know Asher feels my snapishness because he has been extra cuddly and wanting "snuggles" all the time.

NoVacancy · September 2013

I'm a little late! My fear adding on is our timing- New baby is expected about 3 weeks before DH is set to deploy so DDs world is going to be spinning from adding another baby and then her daddy leaving. I live 30 hours from family so I'm hoping I'll be able to juggle and provide the love for 2 the way I've been able to for DD. I am excited to make her a big sis but I'm scared she won't understand because she will still be itty bitty!

blazinangel1702 · September 2013

I'm nervous that DS will have a hard time adjusting. My stepdaughter is almost 9 and was 7 when DS was born so it was easy to get her involved and have her pick out outfits for baby brother. DS is only going to be just over 2 when baby is born an I worry about the everyday things like running errands and who to put in the car first and will DS listen when we are going somewhere. I see the relationship between the kids now and DS LOVES his sister so much, I just hope he loves baby that much too. I worry about developing post partum depression again. I worry about this baby not being as easy and happy as DS was. I worry if I'm going to be able to be the kind of mom I want to be. I don't want to look back and remember being miserable all the time. We so wanted another baby, but I'm struggling to stay apart of the family with intense MS and total exhaustion from seriously doing nothing. I seriously worry about money, and savings but we aren't in hard times we budget pretty strictly. Just the what ifs.

buggywhips · September 2013

I'm late too!

I am worried about how M will adjust to not being an only child. I'm worried that he'll feel neglected by me (he still prefers me over H, mostly because I'm around 24/7.)

I am afraid he will become jealous of the baby. He is my whole world right now and I'm probably worried to much about his happiness in this, lol. I also am worried that I will compare them too much.

All of that being said, I look forward to the future and them having a playmate once they both get older. I think once Miles gets the hang of being a big brother he will love it...he loves to help out whenever he can and is very sweet.

Kris2011RN · September 2013

miniray said:
I'm pretty sure I'm going to be out soon My spotting has picked up and I'm now wearing a pad. I had sharp stabbing pains in my lower abdomen last night and I knew that wasn't good. I see my doctor tomorrow and have an u/s scheduled for Tuesday. I'm feeling really bummed but DS keeps giving me hugs and kissing. He's too sweet.

Nooooooo!!!! I may have a secret bump crush on you even though I barely know you. You are so sweet! I was happy we were on the same BMB! Praying for a sticky baby!!

lsugirljen · September 2013

I worry about how I will keep up with everything as well as my current job. I would LOVE to change jobs, but do not know if that is a possibility anytime soon.

frasey · September 2013

I know that DD will be a great older sister! I can totally see her wanting to help dress the baby, have her in the bath, etc. We're planning on switching her to a big girl bed after Christmas - that might be our only issue we can think of now.

I guess the only thing Im concerned about is that I had PPD after DD was born, and I hated my life for several weeks. I seriously cried a LOT. It was horrible. Im praying I don't feel like that again, and Im already planning to FF in order to help combat that. DD was super colicky and the only thing that would make her stop crying was BFing. I feel like someone should have suggested we supplement with formula. Either way, its one of the only non-'AP' things we plan on doing with this baby, but we're set on it and have the support of our family (not that its any of their business anyways!)

MrsT2008 · September 2013

@miniray - I'm so sorry

Brandyjean30 · September 2013

I'm really excited about adding to our family, but I'm just not looking forward to listening to people tell me how hard 2 2 years apart will be.
That being said, I'm ecstatic for 2. I'm happy for DD to have a sibling. It just makes me feel like we are a step closer to completely or family

MCH77 · September 2013

awisern said:

MCH77 said:
I plan on using Christmas as our "you're going to be a big brother focus."

I want to get him a baby doll, so he can help me with it. And some big brother books. He loves to help, so I'm really going to focus on that.

It is funny when I was pg with DS I couldn't wait to meet my LO. Now I can't wait to see DS as a big brother, it warms my heart.

I just need to move past this ms so I can be a good mom again.
We got DS a baby for his second birthday. We got the Manhattan Baby Stella boy doll...it's a great doll! DS really likes it and plays with it occasionally. ..I'm sure he will play with it more as we start to talk more about being a big brother.

Thanks for the rec!

MissLadyTay · September 2013

Every time we ask my son if he would like a little brother or sister he says "no thank you."

Uh oh.

ShannonSky · September 2013

chillypenguin said:

My LO's will be around 20 months apart. I wanted them close in age, my sister and I are 18 months apart and it's been great. Even now, we got married and had our first babies close together. I know it's no guarantee that DD and this LO will be close, but I hope so!

I am worried because I look at DD now, and she is so young. I know her development will change dramatically in the next 7 months, so I am trying not to worry too much. It's also been really hard feeling so sick and tired with a toddler. I am hoping that passes quickly so I can feel like a better mom to her.

Have any of the BTDT moms had 2u2 before? Was it hard for your first child to understand what was going on?

We had our two almost exactly 2 years apart. DD1 was pretty laid back about it all, she came to meet DD2 in the hospital and she thought she was great. She didn't really care about her one way or the other until she hit about 9mos or so and started to crawl around more and play with her a bit. Now they are best friends, they snuggle when they watch TV and run and play with each other all day. But she didn't understand the pregnancy part at ALL.

I'm TERRIFIED. I was so good on having a third. Really excited and happy. Third AND fourth??? ....ummmm. I don't know how we're going to do it. Plus, DH has one week left on his contract and then he's going to be in limbo, hoping to avoid a layoff. So I'm scared we won't be able to provide for all these kids, scared the twins will be preemies, and scared for my sanity just generally. Scared, scared, scared. Really hoping I start getting happy/excited again at some point.

dakota01 · September 2013

I think I have a lot of fears for how this little one will change our family. We were pretty squared away and had things all sorted and planned out, when we'd go to Disney, when we'd do this -that blah blah. But life sometimes has other plans. Now my worries are what do I do about daycare for the littles. One is in school so that is covered, the other goes to Montessori he still has one more year pre-k after this, and the little miss was going to enter pre-k next year. But now..there is no way I can afford 16k for pre-k and then pay for daycare for the new baby. We have some choices to make and the last thing I want is for any of my children to miss out on experiences that the others ones had. No matter what scenario I pick it has me taking my kids to 4 different places because my mom won't watch the baby and my daughter.
My hopes.. I hope that this little person gets all they want out of life- that he/she will know how important they are to our family. I don't want any of my kids to feel slighted or like they are missing out.

chillypenguin · September 2013

Thanks, @ShannonSky . I am hoping my two are as close as your first two! Good luck with the twins, I can only imagine how exciting and scary that would be! Everything always seems to work out.

katesy21 · September 2013

I'm thrilled about baby #3 but a third baby means we need new vehicles so there is room for 3 car seats. I'm also going to have to completely change my work schedule and start working every weekend so I can stay home with the kids during the week and pull them out of daycare. 2 kids in day care was do-able, 3 kids is not affordable for us. This baby is going to bring many changes for us but I know it will all be for the better!

MinaE01 · September 2013

@miniray, I'll be crossing all my crossables that everything is just fine. T&Ps for you.

I have no idea how our son will react to being a big brother. He loves other kids and babies, but we're getting in to the separation anxiety phase. I hope that passes in the next 9 months or we're in trouble!

miniray · September 2013

Thanks ladies. I'm trying not to get my hopes up but I'm also trying to stay positive... Just taking one day at a time. The bleeding turned back into spotting, but I still need to wear a liner. No cramps though so that's a good sign I think? I see my doctor today at 1pm and am going for an u/s tomorrow at 8:30am. Thanks for all your thoughts I'll keep you posted.

MrsT2008 · September 2013

Fingers crossed! Good luck today/tomorrow!

2ismymax · September 2013

Life just got super easy for us with my two year old. He's at such a great age that I wonder/am terrified if we are shaking things up and jolting the system.
I was always one and done, but after seeing my son interact with other kids and seeing how happy it makes him, I couldn't deprive him of his forever friend. I grew up with siblings and I want him to have the same experience.

2ismymax · September 2013

Empireceo said:

I'm just hoping that I have time to brush my teeth every day when the little one comes. I'm fully prepared for my life to be a train wreck. I'm probably going to work on potty training my son kind of early to minimize the amount of time I have two in diapers.

Other than that, booze?

I am with ya on the potty training and crib transitioning before May. Lots and lots of booze will be needed to get through the toddler tantrums and the dreaded sleepless newborn phase!

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