Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion

If you can't make it...

sweetwalkssweetwalks member
in Blended Families
To drop off or pick up. As the BM or BF do you let the other know that someone else will be doing it?
Report Reply to Post

Re: If you can't make it...

  • Banana44Banana44 member
    I think we did in the beginning.  And if it was someone out of the ordinary we would.

    At this point DH and I have been married for 5 years, so if it is one of us we just pick up SS.  But last month my Dad did a pick up and we let BM know it was going to be Grandpop and not us.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • bebe11bebe11 member

    I would say typically yes.

     

    Report Reply
  • cole2144cole2144 member
    If the pickup is from school, no. If the pickup is from BM, DH will tell her if I am coming to pick SD up. (Oh and yes BM knows I pickup from school) BM will tell DH sometimes or BM`s fiance will text DH himself and let him know.
    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
    image






    Report Reply
  • sweetwalkssweetwalks member
    There isn't anything in the CO about who does pick up/drop off and DH doesn't really mind if BM's bf does the drop off he would just like to know. It is bothersome that we haven't been told yet that BM will not be there & neither of us have her bf's number.

    Even if its a last minute, "I have to work late N will be picking up SK" DH always lets her know.

    To me it's just a courtesy
    Report Reply
  • twister22twister22 member
    I always let BD know if someone else will be picking up, just as a courtesy. Although, I can't remember the last time I had someone else pick up DS for me. BD always does the pick ups for DS, according to our CO he has to get permission for someone else to pick up DS because I have ROFR and I have to approve BD's sitters (that's a whole different story, and yes, it's for good reason). BD has had someone else pick up for him only a handful of times.
    image
    Report Reply
  • sweetwalkssweetwalks member
    Right, unless DH has to work late, work a different shift, etc. I don't pick up alone, sometimes DH goes alone if I have something to do. It's rare this happens, but even as a last minute thing, it's nice to know.

    Apparently this has been planned for a while and even though we "know" BM won't be there, I feel like she should have let DH know especially since things aren't great between her bf and DH and we have no contact info for bf. Just wanted some opinions, DH won't make a big deal of it, neither will I. Just wondered if we were the only ones who felt that way
    Report Reply
  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member

    Not if it's DH. BD and SM do the same. I never have anyone else do pick up/drop off. He however will have his parents meet sometimes and he always tells me because usually they want me to meet them at my parent's house which is closer to them than where BD and I meet (the opposite direction).

    Technically in our CO, any competent adult may be designated to pick up/drop off.

    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

    Report Reply
  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    Anything out of the norm, I give XH a heads up. When DH (then boyfriend) came to the first exchange, I let XH know. When I was a single mom, I'd sometimes bring a friend and I'd let XH know beforehand. 

    Heck, I even let him know if it'll be a different car than he's used to seeing. 

    And I'd appreciate the same courtesy. 
    my read shelf:
    Erin's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • MommyEllenSueMommyEllenSue member
    We don't but it's only DH or I that do pick up/ drop offs. If anyone else besides us did them we would let BM know but that has hardly ever happened. We never know who will be doing them for BM but it has always been someone in her family that we know.
    Report Reply
  • sweetwalkssweetwalks member
    MommyEllenSue said:

    We don't but it's only DH or I that do pick up/ drop offs. If anyone else besides us did them we would let BM know but that has hardly ever happened. We never know who will be doing them for BM but it has always been someone in her family that we know.

    I guess I just don't like the whole not knowing thing. I mean we assume BF is bringing him. But, what if come meeting time he wasn't there...who do we call or text to check? What if there was an accident? You know?

    Thanks ladies.
    Report Reply
  • new+tothisnew+tothis member
    I do. I think it's just a courtesy since I do 99% of the drop offs. It's out of the ordinary for anyone else to do them. Plus, we meet at a neutral location so BD would be keeping an eye out for me, not someone else.

    That said, when someone else does pick up or drop off BD doesn't have their contact info. He has proven to be irresponsible with that type of information in the past (harassing my BFF) so I wouldn't give it to him if he asked. If there was an issue I would coordinate any communication.
    Report Reply
  • sweetwalkssweetwalks member
    new+tothis said:

    I do. I think it's just a courtesy since I do 99% of the drop offs. It's out of the ordinary for anyone else to do them. Plus, we meet at a neutral location so BD would be keeping an eye out for me, not someone else.


    That said, when someone else does pick up or drop off BD doesn't have their contact info. He has proven to be irresponsible with that type of information in the past (harassing my BFF) so I wouldn't give it to him if he asked. If there was an issue I would coordinate any communication.
    I understand that. In that situation though, does the person doing pick up/drop off have BD's info? In case something happens to them on the way or in case BD doesn't show or is late & they need to contact him?
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"