Clarification

HazzaStyles · September 2013

I really didn't want to start a new post for this but I'm assuming the other post has been deleted, and rightfully so.

Yesterday was awful, and for my part in it I am legitimately sorry. It was a terrible idea to start that blog.

The truth is that I'm not normally a shit-stirrer. At all. Ever. I hate confrontation and avoid it like the plague. But my life has been so fucked lately and I've been so despondent and numb, I wanted to feel powerful for a second and a half. I knew some people wanted the blog there and I knew starting it would mean it would take off like a shot. One part of me was hoping it would turn into a goofy Bump Hump, but the logical part of me knew it wouldn't, and I did it anyway.

I did legitimately cringe as I posted some of the "confessions," and tried to tell myself anyone reading them would know it was bullshit.

And then I realized how hurt people really were getting. Right around that 250 post mark was when I grew a fucking conscience. I wanted to make up for it by posting the secrets about someone wanting to fold Lexi up and put her in their pocket in a good way. About the Elder Wand and the eagle flying the One Ring into Mordor. But there was that post limit. Great.

I do want to make it clear that this AE was actually started in good fun. Everything silly and flirty and friendly I said was absolutely, 100% for real. But my IRL issues got the best of me and I felt protected enough by my AE to use my anger and sadness as a catalyst to start a fire I now sorely regret.

It's so incredibly unlike me that I won't be revealing my real identity unless a mod outs me.

I'm glad everyone has banded together to lift each other up. I, on the other hand, woke up feeling tremendously heavy and guilty and I probably need to dial my involvement here way back while I get some help for the anger and depression that I can now clearly see are destructive.

Truly sorry everyone.

I saw that someone asked whether I was another AE that I'm assuming has caused issues before - I can't remember what AE it was - and whether I had started that other "thing" (this was how it was really worded), but no, I have no clue who or what you were referring to.

LoveActually4 · September 2013

I'm have a strong suspicions of who you are based on the way you write and personal things you've mentioned. I think you're a pretty twisted person.

[Deleted User] · September 2013

The problem that I (and other people) have is that we don't understand why it looked like some the nastiest shit was coming from you. From what I saw about the tumblr format, it looks like it may have been, or may not have been. So I guess we can't know. Benefit of the doubt, I guess?

HazzaStyles · September 2013

As to whether some of the posts were coming from me, they weren't. I replied to some but I didn't actually make any of them up myself. Some of them came through as saying "Anonymous asked," and some of them came through as straight submissions to the blog that went down under the blog's own name as opposed to looking like an anonymous question.

SandyClam · September 2013

After reading the Tumblr again, I am fairly certain that you are the one that wrote the nastiest shit. I don't think that this apology means anything coming from your AE. A true apology would be you doing it as yourself. I flagged one of your posts last night in hopes that the mods would be able to see who you are after I had the suspicion that you wrote that about Mabel. I mean, WTF? That is some sick shit. If you didn't write it, then you need to come out as your 'real' online persona and apologize and stop hiding behind this AE.

HazzaStyles · September 2013

@Mackalien13 and @OnederfulMother, thank you sincerely for forgiving me. You are beautiful, wonderful people and I really mean that.

I'm also particularly sorry for the anxiety this caused Mable. She didn't deserve it. I'm so sorry.

HazzaStyles · September 2013

SandyClam said:

After reading the Tumblr again, I am fairly certain that you are the one that wrote the nastiest shit. I don't think that this apology means anything coming from your AE. A true apology would be you doing it as yourself. I flagged one of your posts last night in hopes that the mods would be able to see who you are after I had the suspicion that you wrote that about Mabel. I mean, WTF? That is some sick shit. If you didn't write it, then you need to come out as your 'real' online persona and apologize and stop hiding behind this AE.

I did not write a single post, especially not the Mabel one. Again, the most I did was reply to posts.

missyishere · September 2013

You did have the option to filter out the horrible stuff, right? I mean, I'm glad you apologized. I don't think you had ill intentions, but it could have stopped at any point.

LoveActually4 · September 2013

SandyClam said:
After reading the Tumblr again, I am fairly certain that you are the one that wrote the nastiest shit. I don't think that this apology means anything coming from your AE. A true apology would be you doing it as yourself. I flagged one of your posts last night in hopes that the mods would be able to see who you are after I had the suspicion that you wrote that about Mabel. I mean, WTF? That is some sick shit. If you didn't write it, then you need to come out as your 'real' online persona and apologize and stop hiding behind this AE.

I agree with SC. I'm not sure if the mods can) ban you but I would like to see it happen. You posted essentially death threats about a bumpie. For all we know, you wrote it. I hope they ban you and your real identity as well for the hurt and distrust you've caused.

LoveActually4 · September 2013

Burp

HazzaStyles · September 2013

missyishere said:

You did have the option to filter out the horrible stuff, right? I mean, I'm glad you apologized. I don't think you had ill intentions, but it could have stopped at any point.

No, I didn't have ill intentions but you're right, I could have stopped at any point. I intended to start posting only the positive, or the ones that seemed like a person legitimately getting a secret off their chest once it was clear it was causing significant upset. But again, the post count. Then I admitted making the blog and decided it was best to just not post anything to it at all again.

acaudill75 · September 2013

What is all this in reference to? What tumblr blog did all this happen on?

HazzaStyles · September 2013

mamaREB29 said:

After reading the Tumblr again, I am fairly certain that you are the one that wrote the nastiest shit. I don't think that this apology means anything coming from your AE. A true apology would be you doing it as yourself. I flagged one of your posts last night in hopes that the mods would be able to see who you are after I had the suspicion that you wrote that about Mabel. I mean, WTF? That is some sick shit. If you didn't write it, then you need to come out as your 'real' online persona and apologize and stop hiding behind this AE.
I agree with SC. I'm not sure if the mods can) ban you but I would like to see it happen. You posted essentially death threats about a bumpie. For all we know, you wrote it. I hope they ban you and your real identity as well for the hurt and distrust you've caused.

For the Mabel post I initially misread. As I understood it the person was referring to Mabel's deactivating her Gravy account as her driving off a cliff, but clearly I was wrong.

SandyClam · September 2013

I fully admit to having a part in it and thought that it would be fun at first, but I, along with many others, have apologized under our 'real' names. I just can't accept the apology coming from an AE. I know that it's not me that deserves the apology, but I am so fucking hurt for Mabel. That is some seriously sick shit. I cannot believe what she went through and then to have some asshole post that about her. If you don't want to come out and apologize as yourself, you could as least have the decency to PM an apology to Mabel.

nancy30005 · September 2013

acaudill75 said:

What is all this in reference to? What tumblr blog did all this happen on?

Yeah, I'm totally lost.

[Deleted User] · September 2013

HilarityEnsued said:

Mackalien13 said:

And i feel like we all had a part in it. I said it was awful, yet I kept hitting refresh. On some level, we all have to take responsibility.

Yeah... I'm not really here with this sentiment. To each their own and I truly do appreciate the apology from OP, but I don't think we all had blame in it.

We all drama llama sometimes, dude.

HazzaStyles · September 2013

If I hadn't made the blog or published the posts they wouldn't have gotten out in the first place. Yeah, everyone who contributed nasty shit did what they did but I didn't have to publish it. I should have known better.

SandyClam · September 2013

Thanks, Obama!

scoutkate · September 2013

I also am pretty sure I know who you are, and I'd like to believe that you weren't the one coming up with the nastiest stuff. I really, really hope that's the case. I also feel some guilt about the whole situation because I was the first one to say that I kind of wished TBPS was still a "thing" when it was brought up a few days ago.

I am glad, though, that our board in general seems closer coming out of this mess then we were going in.

missyishere · September 2013

Can you tell us who you are?

scoutkate · September 2013

Also, I suspect that you are the Lou AE as well. Not that it really matters at this point, but can you confirm?

LaurelBee · September 2013

This reminds me a lot about the WhitePony fiasco.

LuckyDad · September 2013

missyishere said:

Can you tell us who you are?

Believe it or not, at this point I think this would cause more problems than it solves.

BoatsNHoes · September 2013

So I'm clearly not a reg on parenting or even TB anymore, but was at one time and other various off boards. I never looked at yesterday's fiasco because it seriously is everything that's wrong with anonymity on these boards. We can all appreciate a little snark, but you have to draw a line where it goes too far. We live in a world of Internet bullying and shaming to the extent that people take their own lives. While it may give you a temporary fix of feeling cool, please keep in mind that you have no idea what is going on in the world of the person you're throwing under the bus. I think an apology and acknowledgement is a good step, but perhaps a better one would be stepping away from the Internet and figure out what is driving you to do this in the first place. I sincerely hope you can feel better about yourself and that those who were hurt realize that often this shit comes from a bad place of insecurity and jealousy and has nothing to do with them most times.

[Deleted User] · September 2013

MabelShesTheBomb said:

I don't think so fucky. A lot of us (though we SHOULDN'T) were purposefully made to question our friendships yesterday. I think this information being out in the open would at least solidify for those of us who thought it could be someone we're close with that it wasn't. It's like when we found out about MGK. What she said was hurtful and vile and it was good to know that it was some fucking half bi-stander pulling all that shit.

I'm going to go with the premise that hazza didn't post that stuff, and that the vile stuff was all MGK.

Because, come on, it probably was.

LuckyDad · September 2013

@mabelshesthebomb, were never gonna know who *wrote* the awful stuff. I am concerned people are looking for a fall guy. Hazza made an error in judgement in reposting, but she didn't write it.

Maybe I am wrong. If you think that would help you feel better, I would cede to your preferences.

SandyClam · September 2013

It's always MGK. She needs to get some major help.

SandyClam · September 2013

The cool thing is that she meant to tear us apart yesterday and now the whole board is closer than it ever has been! Winning!

SandyClam · September 2013

Oh and I know that you think I'm a tool, MGK. I'm okay with that.

missyishere · September 2013

You know @luckydad. You're right. It won't do any good to reveal yourself, OP. I think we can all take the collective hug and move forward. Oh, and MGK can eat a cheesy dick.

SandyClam · September 2013

Gangrene dick! @overture, @justaphase and @karschingham know what I'm talking about!

RichardSlap · September 2013

SandyClam said:

Gangrene dick! @overture, @justaphase and @karschingham know what I'm talking about!

Pics or GTFO.

RichardSlap · September 2013

HilarityEnsued said:

I vote no fucking pictures of gangrene anything.

You're right. I'm haunted by those pics. I was just being a dick. A healthy, pink one though.

Karschingham · September 2013

I just puked, @sandyclam. I'm trying to erase those images from my memory, hor.

insertclevername · September 2013

@sandyclam I much preferred the guy making love to a melon over the gangrenous extremities and other ew factor skin conditions.

missyishere · September 2013

Fine, eat a tinea cruris dick, MGK.

LuckyDad · September 2013

missyishere said:
Fine, eat a tinea cruris dick, MGK.

Lol

RichardSlap · September 2013

missyishere said:

Fine, eat a tinea cruris dick, MGK.

Are you trying to make us google this? I'll regret it, won't I?

insertclevername · September 2013

Like the time I told @cruelsound I recognized her from Two Girls One Cup and people googled it. Bahhahahaha. Were you one of them @sandyclam ?

missyishere · September 2013

Richard Slap said:

missyishere said:

Fine, eat a tinea cruris dick, MGK.

Are you trying to make us google this? I'll regret it, won't I?

I'll never tell...

RichardSlap · September 2013

Aha! I've googled this before.

All I saw was the wiki description this time and remembered. go me.

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