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BF wants to sign away rights....need opinions

Sunday924Sunday924 member
in Blended Families
With all my drama lately I feel like the is a black cloud over me. BF messaged me on FB asking me if we could work out an arrangement. He is having a baby in 3 weeks and will be taking off for 2 months then he needs to put the baby in daycare. He can't afford daycare and child support. He has NEVER met DD. We went to court when DD was 2 (7 next month) and we both decided he would pay a very small amount in CS and would not see her. The last time I talked to him was in Jan 2012 because I needed him to sign for a name change. He told me then he wanted to sign up rights. I told him I would as long as he paid for the adoption to go with it. He is obviously trying to get me to do that now. Does anyone know if you can terminate rights without an adoption in Texas? Google won't give me a straight answer. Also would this be something you would consider? I'm so confused. He will never be apart of her life so should he pay? In your opinion does she need a man legally attached to her? I know that sounds stupid. This will be his fourth child and its only my DD that he has nothing to do with. He was trying to tell me about his gf and this is her first baby. I wanted to tell him to fluck off but I said nothing.
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Re: BF wants to sign away rights....need opinions

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    SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    There are many things that should go into this decision. I personally think every child deserves to have financial support from both parents, even if you don't need it and just put it in a college fund it will ultimately help DD in the end. It also pisses me off when people think they can just wash their hands of a person they helped create. Its wrong and disgusting that he doesn't even want to see her and I would want to at the very least hold him financially accountable.

    On the flip side, what if something were to happen to you? He would be the first person she is offered to and he doesnt even know her.

    Spend some time considering all your options, dont let him push you at all. Do research and make him pay for every single legal fee.
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    SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    Oh, and don't do it because you feel bad for him. He sounds like a fucking douche that dug his own financial hole. Fuck him.
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    hopankahopanka member

    To answer your question: No, I would never consider it. The stipulation of adoption is there for a reason. Think of it this way. If he signs off his righs and you die....who will be LEGALLY bound to care for your daughter and make sure she's not on the streets? Sure, there may be people in your life that say they would take care of her should something happen to you, but are you willing to just trust them on it? It may be your parents who say that - what if something happens to them a couple years after your passing? Shit happens. You want to protect your kid.

    Now, if he wants to sign away rights and is willing to pay for adoption AND your current H wants to adopt her - go for it. But, don't do it, unless all three of the above are true. Don't be too nice to that prick. He doesn't deserve it. He has four kids and can't take care of them? That's not your fault. He's a deadbeat already, so I wouldn't reward him for it.

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    Sunday924Sunday924 member
    I have never even thought about something happening to me. I mean I have but I never thought about her being offered to him. It was more I would rather DD to with H rather than my mom or dad. My court order does say " the court finds that obligor is not requesting any rights or powers with regard to the child" and "the court finds........any visitation with the child". So I would hope she isn't offered to him first.
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    Lavender PLavender P member
    I would do it as long as you have a living will and someone else for your DC to go to. My sister's X hasn't seen their daughter in over 4 years and she was terrified something would happen to her and X would get her. She pushed for him to sign over his rights and he did. I think there are so many things much more important then financial support for a child. Is your DH willing to adopt your DC? I can't imagine ever making a decision relating to my child based on the thought that they deserve to be supported. My child and my SS deserve a lot of things but that doesn't mean they will always get it. I know this may be an UO but I think if a BM or BD don't support their child that is something that they have to live with. Ideally both parents should do their best but in the real world that isn't always what happens. I would rather fully support my kid then hqve ro deal with someone who seems him as an obligation.
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
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