Delivery room-- who are you letting in? (A little vent)

crwel1048 · September 2013

Just DH will be allowed in again this time when it's time to deliver.

alphalyrae · September 2013

DH and MIL. My mother passed away when I was 7. My MIL and I are very close and she's an RN so I trust her implicitly. I asked my Aunt who is my godmother and helped raise me after my mom passed away but she asked me to call her when I went into labor, and to have DH call her as soon as the baby is born. She doesn't feel comfortable watching me in physical pain and wouldn't want to distract me. I appreciated her honestly. My SIL might come in the delivery room (same situation as MIL, very very close), and FIL and BIL have stated that they will wait at home (15 minutes away) and come an hour after delivery when they move to post partum. The rest of the family will be called after DH, baby and I get some rest.

ckandi007 · September 2013

Last time I had my mom and husband. This time in plan to do the same with the addition of a doula/birth photographer.

chillypenguin · September 2013

Most of my pregnancy with DD I was convinced it would just be me and DH. I felt very strongly about that. But the more I thought about it, I decided to have my mom in there too. She took pictures for us right when the baby was born. So we have pictures of the first few seconds of her life and DH cutting the cord. I just treasure those pictures. After they got DD cleaned up, my mom left so we could have some time just the three of us.

I felt kind of bad not letting my MIL in the room too. We have a great relationship, but I just didn't feel comfortable with her seeing my vag. She was great and never made me feel bad about it.

getitdone · September 2013

It will just be me and DH. I wouldn't mind my mom being in there but she doesn't want to be

. She said she can't handle seeing her child in that much pain.

flutepharm87 · September 2013

Last time I had an emergency c-section, so just DH was there. My mom, stepdad, sister, MIL, FIL, And DH's grandparents were in the waiting room, though. This time, we'll need someone to watch the boys when we go to the hospital, so we're gonna have DH's grandparents watch them since they're 15 minutes away from us. They'll be the only ones to know we're in the hospital and everyone else will find out when baby's here. I don't want anyone but DH there.

kristine526 · September 2013

DH. My doula if I go that route. My mom is on my mind, but I'm not sure yet. Everyone f else can wait, and come visit AFTER we've been cleaned up and AFTER DH, LO and I have had time to bond as a family. My IL will probably want to come up right away but it's out of their excitement, not because they're crazy. That said, they'll respect our wishes no matter what.

MrsT2008 · September 2013

Just MH. That's what happened last time and that's what I want this time

Lindseykaz · September 2013

Just DH and my midwife. Last time my best friend, and my mom were there. It was great, and I really loved having women to support me, but I'd like the experience of just me and DH too.

typeset · September 2013

Just my husband. I'd have no problem saying yes to one relative and no to another. It's not a wedding; it's my vulva on display. Anyone else making it about him or herself is out of line.

frasey · September 2013

Just DH. We plan on a homebirth, so maybe we'll call the grandparents to come over after the baby is born. They can wait in the living room and make me some food while they're at it! I would consider letting my mom be there, depending on how it goes, but no way MIL would be there, and I don't think she'd be mad about it.

buggywhips · September 2013

H will be the only one in the room during delivery. It was kind of cool last time because they allowed everyone to stand outside the door, so the whole family got to be there without being there. My dad was on the phone with my grandma who lives across the country and she got to hear my sons first cry. My mom came in and took pictures of H cutting the umbilical cord, then my sister came in and took pictures of M while they were cleaning him up. The IL's didn't come in until after our 2 hour bonding period, and they were very respectful and understanding of that.

TrendyTina · September 2013

Last time it was me, hubby, my mom, doula, birth photographer, and MIL. MIL was NOT invited in, but came in and stayed anyway. I was already pushing and didn't know what to do to get her out.

This time it will be me, hubby, doula, and birth photographer. No one extra. It was too much noise and too annoying last time.

rak123 · September 2013

Your vagina will be in display. You get to choose who sees it.

ABColeslaw · September 2013

The only people who saw my vagina when I delivered was my OB, the nurse, and a beautiful sexy intern (which sucked) My sister and my H stayed up near my face, actually I asked my sister to look for me once...poor her.

reddroses · September 2013

DH, my mom and MIL were all in the delivery room until i had a csec. They were all supportive and I was happy to have them there. It seems like I'm in the minority here.

MeredithElese · September 2013

dakota01 said:
Just my DH and I. I wouldnt mind my mom, shes and L&D nurse so it's not like she doesn't know to stay out of the way- but that won't happen. I'd like to have my friend who is my photog partner in for birth photos, but that would way piss off my mom.

I had both last time and was very grateful. Mom was able to translate sometimes and was very comforting to DH. She was pretty good at staying out but also conferred with the nurses as we went along.

pistolpackinmomma · September 2013

The only good side to most likely having a RCS is that they only let on person with me. That will be my husband. My mom and MIL were pretty cool and understood that they weren't going to be in there with me last time either, before we even knew I would have to schedule a cs. If I had gone into labor then they wouldn't have been at the hospital until he was born if I had it my way. Since it was surgery (and I was terrified of dying on the table) they came beforehand and waited in the waiting room. My son was born at 8:05 AM and I let them back at 10:30 or so. My grandma (dad's mom) is the one who almost got thrown out, by my dad!! She tried pushing her way back at 8:30 even though my dad said nobody was allowed back yet and that they hadn't seen us yet.

Be sure to tell the hospital who is and is not allowed to visit! Our hospital makes you fill out a list of 10 people who can have extended visiting hours. One person can have 24 hour access and the other 9 get a few extra hours they can come and go. I love that they have set hours for visitors and are very strict about it. I reminded each shift of nurses not to let my grandma back other than between 3-8 (normal visiting hours) because she was not on my list and was not to be put on my list. She works for the hospital and I worried about them bending the rules for her but they did really good. My MIL also works for the hospital and they started to push her out when they saw her badge until I stopped them! Lol!

Chellbell20 · September 2013

You are the one pushing a baby out your vag, you decide who gets to be in there. For me it was just DH, but a bunch of his family was in the waiting room, which was a bad idea. DD was born at 2am, they came back around 4am and we kicked them out around 4:30. The hospital "woke up" around 6, and we had visitors all day, so we pretty much had zero sleep for 2 days. Not a smart way to start life with a newborn. This time we are planning a home birth, so my parents may know if dd needs to go with them, otherwise no one will know until after baby is here. And we will be telling people not right now if its not a good time to visit. We learned from our experience to put our little family first and people can be butt hurt if they want.

rainydayluck · September 2013

DH is the only one allowed.

You should be the ONLY one who dictates who can be in the room. If anyone else tries to come in without permission, I'm pretty sure it is a HIPPA violation.

stiches221 · September 2013

lovelylauren86 said:
My mom stresses me out so just DH is allowed

This!

RedInLove · September 2013

rainydayluck said:

DH is the only one allowed. You should be the ONLY one who dictates who can be in the room. If anyone else tries to come in without permission, I'm pretty sure it is a HIPPA violation.

That's an interesting question, if a hospital allows someone to enter your room if it is a HIPAA violation. I know you can request what (if any) info can be released to those who call in to check on you, and that would include your location in the hospital. If they give out your room number then that person could walk right in to the hospital and come to your room without having to stop at a desk. Otherwise it could fall under a security issue.

sammy.k · September 2013

I was in labor for a very looooong time with DS. My parents came to visit while I was in labor but left right before my epidural was administered (I didn't care because I wasn't in any pain yet). Our son made his appearance at 2 am so no one wanted to be at the hospital that time of night anyway. It was just me and DH and that's all I needed. It'll be the same this time around as well.

Kate373 · September 2013

So far I'm thinking just my DH and possibly his sister since she has been my main support (other than DH) during this pregnancy so far. Plus I was in her delivery room last month while her daughter was being born. That was the first time I'd seen that is person and I cried like a baby out of happiness. I don't know what I'm gunna do when I have mine. If a new river gets drawn on the map you'll know my baby was born

haha

MMason12 · September 2013

DH has asked that it be just the two of us, so that's what we are going with. In all honesty though, there is a pretty high chance at some point I will ask for my Mom and DH is 100% okay with my Mom coming into the room. Other than him and her -- no one will be allowed in during active labor.

honey740 · September 2013

My sister, DH and my mom were there last time, maybe my SIL in place of my mom. Prob the same this time. I have no desire to have MIL there and we have a great relationship, it's just not something I want to "share" with her.

jntaylor11 · September 2013

Just DH. I haven't read all of the replies, but if you don't want her in, just tell her she isn't coming in & that is that. Then make sure the hospital staff knows who is to be in the room & let them handle it:)

sisterjanet · September 2013

I want just me and DH. If I could make the medical people mostly just leave me alone, I'd totally do that too. I discovered last time I like dark and silence when I'm having a baby.

mer313131 · September 2013

Just DH. Dig your heels in, it is your labor, your rules.

JACKIE_RS88 · September 2013

Just my husband and the doula.

cnk459 · September 2013

with my previous deliveries, when it came time to push, I've had (now ex) DH and MIL. I my former MIL said how she felt like it was SUCH an honor to be allowed to see her grandhildren born, and I was glad to be able to give her that gift. She and I had a very good relationship, and she didn't "ask" it was something we offered to her. FIL came in after the birth, when everything was cleaned up and "put away"

I did have visitors come in and out during active labor. It can be a long & "boring" process, so chatting with misc. people helped the time go by faster....I'll never forget my former BIL hiding behind the curtain during my contractions (he hadn't had kids by then, so I think it freaked him out, since i didn't have meds onboard at that point! LOL! men!)

With this pg, it will be DH and probably my (now) MIL also. She and I get along fine, but I can only handle her in "small" doses, however, as this will probably be her ONLY grandchild, I want to be able to offer her that experience as well.

I always make it known that I reserve the right to kick them ALL out (including DH!), if they're driving me nuts.

However, in my *personal* experience, when it comes time to PUSH.. they could bring in a High School marching band and park them at my feet and I wouldn't care! I just want that baby out! LOL!!

Also, my last two deliveries were VBAC's of preemies (32 & 33 weeks), so there were a TON of medical folks in there anyway (plus some students, as I deliver at a "teaching" hospital)... I remember looking around the room and thinking.. WTH?? where did all these people COME FROM? And again... I didn't care!

I do agree though, it's your birth experience, so you get to choose.

deanna1313 · September 2013

Honestly, I feel like it should really be up to the mother. I don't think anyone(even your husband) should be able to force anyone into the room. You are going through labor and delivery, not the easiest thing you will ever do, and that alone should be why it is your choice and no one else's. I agree it would be awesome for the people coming in, but they have to understand if you want to be alone it is impotant fir your comfort. you shouldnt be wirried about anything else that Day, but delivering a healthy baby! Besides, that time after delivery should be for bonding with the three of you. I asked my hubby's opinion and I will take it into account, but he doesn't want anyone else in there anyway.

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Delivery room-- who are you letting in? (A little vent)

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