My team green, VBAC turned RCS

Long version: For 9 months, I've dreamt about my perfect VBAC.  I switched OBs early on to one who I thought would be more friendly.  I hired a doula.  I began seeing a chiropractor around 18 weeks to help with optimal pelvic positioning.  When baby was found to be breach at 32 weeks, I increased the chiro visits to 3/week and starting doing spinning babies techniques.  She turned and remained head down...great!  I'm considered high risk in pregnancy, as I have a history of blood clots and pulmonary emboli, so I have to give myself injections daily throughout pregnancy and see a high risk doctor.  At my "last" visit with the MFM at 36 weeks, they found a dilated umbilical cord.  They couldn't find anything wrong that would explain it, but they wanted me to have twice weekly BPPs for the duration of the pregnancy.  Fine.  At the first BPP, baby's heart rate was high (like 190-200 high).  But she was super active at the time.  They sent me to L&D for monitoring and everything was perfect.  The next several BPPs were normal.  Then, at 38.3 weeks, another high heart rate.  Again, she was very active at the time.  But the MFM didn't want to chance it and recommended delivery by 39 weeks.  I was crushed, because I knew that my body had 3 days to do something on its own to have a chance at my drug-free VBAC.  I felt so close.  I was having increasing cramping and losing lots of mucous.  So I did everything I could think of.  I got a foot massage.  I went to the chiropractor daily.  He had his masseuse work on labor points.  I had acupuncture.  I continued drinking my RRL tea daily and using my EPO.  I bounced on a birthing ball.  I ate pineapple and spicy food.  I made a labor cake. DH and I had lots of sex.  I even tried castor oil...twice (side effects really weren't that bad).  All to no avail.

I mourned my VBAC for the last 36 hours ago.  I know some of people won't understand this and that's fine.  But I grieved.  I knew in the end that baby's safe arrival was what mattered most, but it was so hard to give up on something that I had spent so much time researching and spent so much effort pursuing.  I spent all Tuesday morning with DS and just enjoyed his last hours as an only child.  Around 2pm, we checked into the hospital.  I dreaded the surgery for the next 2 1/2 hours (OB was 30 minutes late, which was agonizing), but I savored each strong kick and roll that baby gave me.  Finally it was time.  They gave me a spinal (I had an epidural with DS).  And immediately I was numb.  Once things were going and DH was by my side, I had a calm come over me.

It didn't take long to hear that first sweet cry.  DH and I had been convinced since about 20 weeks that we were having a boy.  Totally convinced.  They held the baby up and asked DH to announce the sex.  He didn't have a great view and she was swollen, so he thought they were testicles and told me "It's a Boy"!  I was thrilled, as DS would have a little brother close in age.  Then my OB said, wait, I think you need to look again.  He did and got so choked up that he couldn't say anything.  It took about 20 seconds before someone finally told me that it was a girl!  The whole moment still makes me smile and I still can't believe I'm dressing a baby in pink!

Turns out, I had a very rare complication (I had no idea until the next day).  I had a uterine inversion, which happens in about 1 out of every 3,000 births.  Basically, my uterus flipped inside out, like a sock, as soon as baby and placenta were out.  Because it was a c-section, my OB watched it happen and was able to correct it very quickly.  If it had happened during a vaginal birth, it could have  been so much worse.  There are so many possibilities of how bad it could have gotten.  I really think Hannah's high heart rate may have saved my life, since it forced the c-section.  Recovery is tough.  I hate feeling helpless, especially with DS.  I have tons of help though and we're getting there.  I still am sad about not getting my VBAC, but I'm also at peace with it.  How can I complain with this little guardian angel starring up at me???

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