Alright this might have typos. I had a lot of coffee and I'm on my phone.
We were planning traditional wedding with ceremony and reception. Now we've been playing around with the idea of just a ceremony and cake after the ceremony at the same site. We'd save about $7-8,000. We just bought a house. We have two kids and only one of us works. To tone it down is what makes the most sense. But dh wants to at least do a dinner with like the closest 20 people after the ceremony. I told him that seems a little rude to invite 200 people to this ceremony (assume about 130 came) and then have a dinner with only 20 of them. I don't know how to eloquently talk about this with him and ultimately what we should do dinner wise at the end of our wedding day considering it is nt traditional. What do you suggest? We already had a good argument about the whole thing which broke my heart. The whole cost of a ceremony for us will be around $1000. If we added the reception it'd be around 8000. Quite a significant difference. I'm at a loss on how to manage the whole thing now that we've decided to tone it Down. A lot.
Edit* reason number one I might kill him is he thinks changing after the ceremony and having dinner then meeting some people at the bars is my idea of a good wedding night. Wtf. I hate bar hopping.anyways why would I want to do it on my most special day?
Re: Small wedding
DD Born August 16, 2012
Either of these is fine:
a. a non-traditional rehearsal dinner with closest friends and family, then ceremony/cake the following morning/afternoon
b. afternoon or morning ceremony with light refreshments to follow. Dinner with fam/close friends much later
Dinner in the middle is not really okay, and it's customary to feed out of town guests at least once.
Our first instinct was to do a private dinner, but then didn't, for the reasons you listed. I'd try and look for somewhere that will do a hors d'oeuvres reception around 3pm. A lot of people go this route because it's way cheaper and you still get your dances and other traditional things in.
SCANDAL!
Could there be a compromise of light food? Like cheese and cracker trays, fruit trays then cake, something like that?
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