Delivery room-- who are you letting in? (A little vent)

Kmbaybay · September 2013

This is still a long ways off but who are you letting in? This will be our second- with our first we lived in HAwaii, and it was just my husband. Now we live close to family and MIL insists that she will be in delivery room. I'm okay with my husband, my mom, and my cousin in the event my husband is gone with the army.. But I'm weirded out by MIL, we don't have the best relationship in the first place and her demanding on being in the room for delivery has me digging my heels a little deeper.

Pinksparkle28 · September 2013

Last time it was my mom and husband. This time will be the same. I need to feel safe, comfortable, and relaxed. Mother in law in the mix wouldn't work for me, I'd be uncomfortable.

lovelylauren86 · September 2013

My mom stresses me out so just DH is allowed

jschwind22 · September 2013

Obviously my DH. I think I'm saying no to my mom and MIL. I want my BFF there though.

rMe6411 · September 2013

Oh my. Well, last time it was my mom and DH and will be the same this time. With DD I didn't want ANYONE coming to visit. Mil was very aware of this but called and said she was in the area and really wanted to stop by. When DH told her no, she stated she was already in the hospital. Can you say psycho?? So I felt really awkward and agreed. Fil was also with her. I was PISSED. They stayed for hours and when it was time for me to start pushing the actually had the nerve to ask DH if they could stay in the room. WTF?????????? They will not be allowed to visit beforehand this time.

jane8188 · September 2013

Oh no, not ok. Just my husband that's it.

kalette · September 2013

Just the DH, doctor and nurses.

oliviac2008 · September 2013

Oh just DH for sure. If anyone else I would realllly like for my BFF to be there.. But I know that won't happen just because of how pissed my mom would be!

LooneyLife · September 2013

Just DH. I have no desire for anyone else to be there.

banks81 · September 2013

Just DH in the room. I expect my mom and MIL will be at or near the hospital so they can visit as soon as he or she is born and I'm ok with that.

Peaceb0ne · September 2013

I can't imagine having my MIL in the delivery room. No way!

I plan on having my husband and my mom. I'm going to invite my sister, but I'm not sure she'll be able to make it. I was there for the birth of her son, and it was such an incredible experience.

ETA words

Miles2Go · September 2013

Forget to call her when you go into labor.

For me, just DH. I didn't need any spectators. Won't this time either.

chargers32 · September 2013

I always get myself freaked out about this bc I only want DH. I know my mom would love to be in there and feel so mean not having her in there, but to be honest I barely feel comfortable with DH being in there.

I was so worked up first pregnancy about telling my mom I didn't want her in there, but it ended up never really being discussed.My mom accidentally missed DD's birth bc docs said it would still be hours and next thing you know it was go time and she had left to eat with my dad.

With DS my mom and dad were watching DD so I called my mom to come as soon as he was born, it was close to midnight, but she had been waiting up.

This time I am assuming my parents will be watching DD and DS so I most likely just call once baby arrives.

I don't mind visitors before and after, but during push time JUST DH!

demofea01 · September 2013

Just SO. Don't let her try to guilt you or force you. It's fucking weird when people invite themselves/demand to be in the delivery room.

dakota01 · September 2013

Just my DH and I. I wouldnt mind my mom, shes and L&D nurse so it's not like she doesn't know to stay out of the way- but that won't happen. I'd like to have my friend who is my photog partner in for birth photos, but that would way piss off my mom.

IBackBevo · September 2013

Just tell them they only let 3 people in and those are the three you want...or two or whatever. Tell the nurses to run interference...they uusually will.
Personally, my plan was just DH. Also you could end up in a c section and then it will only be your dh.

MissLadyTay · September 2013

banks81 said:
Just DH in the room. I expect my mom and MIL will be at or near the hospital so they can visit as soon as he or she is born and I'm ok with that.

I had just MH in the room the first time and my mom was very hurt. I felt bad but not bad enough to let her in. She would have been all "rah rah you can do it!" and I wanted complete silence.

I'm having a repeat c/s so it can only be MH again. But my in laws and parents can be in the waiting room and visit right away if they want. I thought it was nice to have them there the last time. Seeing their joy helped cheer me up after a hard labor.

Kmbaybay · September 2013

So thankful I'm not the only one that thinks it is too much! My sister in-law just caved and let said mil in while she pushed. Way to set the standard there.. I'm so passive aggressive ill come up with someway to keep her out.. And honestly would be more willing to consider if she had not straight up demanded--but now it's a def no go!

Unknown · September 2013

This content has been removed.

ABColeslaw · September 2013

Kmbaybay said:

This is still a long ways off but who are you letting in? This will be our second- with our first we lived in HAwaii, and it was just my husband. Now we live close to family and MIL insists that she will be in delivery room. I'm okay with my husband, my mom, and my cousin in the event my husband is gone with the army.. But I'm weirded out by MIL, we don't have the best relationship in the first place and her demanding on being in the room for delivery has me digging my heels a little deeper.

I'm going to admit that I didn't read the responses before replying. But I honestly believe if you're going to let your mother in the delivery room, you should let your MIL in before your cousin. For a brief moment vision your future as the mom to your fully grown son and getting left out of something huge while others...even a cousin get to partake. You'd be crushed. And maybe your MIL is insisting already because she is anticipating being left out and is already feeling rejected. I have a son and I know my feelings would be hurt, not if you said no one but your H, but if you let other people in and not me. I understand your mom is your mom, but your MIL Is your H's mom and his baby is being born as well. There are lots of ways to have people in the delivery room without getting too graphic or up close and personal.

All that being said, last time I took my H and my sister with me. I didn't have my mother because I didn't want MIL and I didn't want to devastate her, so just my sister and H. The same will apply to this go around. My mother asked and I told her it wouldn't be fair.

RedInLove · September 2013

It will be only DH and I, and that includes all of my labor, and some family time after I deliver. We will be the first to see baby all cleaned up and swaddled, the first ones to hold baby, take pictures, etc. Then, we'll see about having visitors, depending on the time, etc. We will be sure to let our families know what our expectations are in advance so they're not trying to bum-rush my room or the nursery. I'm sure we'll also let the medical team know, so they don't let anyone in or let anyone hold the baby if we haven't had our family time yet.

When my older sister had her first, we got a phone call about 6am that she was at the hospital in labor. She had been there all night. My mom, my other sister, and I went to the hospital and sat in the waiting room until she had my nephew just after noon time. It was a bit after that before we got to see her, after she was all cleaned up and ready for us. The phone call timing was handled the same way with her 2nd, and I saw my new nephew that night. With her daughter, her labor was so quick that the 6am phone call was to tell us she had delivered already. Saw my niece that night. I also know my mom had asked my sister for at least one baby to be in the room when she gave birth, and my sister said no. My mom tried to play the guilt card a bit, but she wouldn't budge. If I were to consider anyone else, it might be my older sister because I know she'd help me out so DH could focus on me AND the baby, but I wouldn't want to leave my younger sister out even though only older sister has had kids which is why I'd choose her first.

rMe6411 · September 2013

ABColeslaw said:

Kmbaybay said:

This is still a long ways off but who are you letting in? This will be our second- with our first we lived in HAwaii, and it was just my husband. Now we live close to family and MIL insists that she will be in delivery room. I'm okay with my husband, my mom, and my cousin in the event my husband is gone with the army.. But I'm weirded out by MIL, we don't have the best relationship in the first place and her demanding on being in the room for delivery has me digging my heels a little deeper.

I'm going to admit that I didn't read the responses before replying. But I honestly believe if you're going to let your mother in the delivery room, you should let your MIL in before your cousin. For a brief moment vision your future as the mom to your fully grown son and getting left out of something huge while others...even a cousin get to partake. You'd be crushed. And maybe your MIL is insisting already because she is anticipating being left out and is already feeling rejected. I have a son and I know my feelings would be hurt, not if you said no one but your H, but if you let other people in and not me. I understand your mom is your mom, but your MIL Is your H's mom and his baby is being born as well. There are lots of ways to have people in the delivery room without getting too graphic or up close and personal.

All that being said, last time I took my H and my sister with me. I didn't have my mother because I didn't want MIL and I didn't want to devastate her, so just my sister and H. The same will apply to this go around. My mother asked and I told her it wouldn't be fair.

That's great that you can feel like that with your mil and mom but maybe it just depends on the relationship but the day my dh can push a baby out is the day mil could be in the delivery room.

Kmbaybay · September 2013

ABColeslaw said:

Kmbaybay said:

This is still a long ways off but who are you letting in? This will be our second- with our first we lived in HAwaii, and it was just my husband. Now we live close to family and MIL insists that she will be in delivery room. I'm okay with my husband, my mom, and my cousin in the event my husband is gone with the army.. But I'm weirded out by MIL, we don't have the best relationship in the first place and her demanding on being in the room for delivery has me digging my heels a little deeper.

I'm going to admit that I didn't read the responses before replying. But I honestly believe if you're going to let your mother in the delivery room, you should let your MIL in before your cousin. For a brief moment vision your future as the mom to your fully grown son and getting left out of something huge while others...even a cousin get to partake. You'd be crushed. And maybe your MIL is insisting already because she is anticipating being left out and is already feeling rejected. I have a son and I know my feelings would be hurt, not if you said no one but your H, but if you let other people in and not me. I understand your mom is your mom, but your MIL Is your H's mom and his baby is being born as well. There are lots of ways to have people in the delivery room without getting too graphic or up close and personal.

All that being said, last time I took my H and my sister with me. I didn't have my mother because I didn't want MIL and I didn't want to devastate her, so just my sister and H. The same will apply to this go around. My mother asked and I told her it wouldn't be fair.

Understood, mil and I don't have the best relationship in the first place. And "cousin" isn't a typical cousin- she is more like sister. We've been through a lot together-- and MIL knows how close we are-- and she would only be there in the case that husband was training with army

ABColeslaw · September 2013

Kmbaybay said:

Kmbaybay said:

This is still a long ways off but who are you letting in? This will be our second- with our first we lived in HAwaii, and it was just my husband. Now we live close to family and MIL insists that she will be in delivery room. I'm okay with my husband, my mom, and my cousin in the event my husband is gone with the army.. But I'm weirded out by MIL, we don't have the best relationship in the first place and her demanding on being in the room for delivery has me digging my heels a little deeper.

I'm going to admit that I didn't read the responses before replying. But I honestly believe if you're going to let your mother in the delivery room, you should let your MIL in before your cousin. For a brief moment vision your future as the mom to your fully grown son and getting left out of something huge while others...even a cousin get to partake. You'd be crushed. And maybe your MIL is insisting already because she is anticipating being left out and is already feeling rejected. I have a son and I know my feelings would be hurt, not if you said no one but your H, but if you let other people in and not me. I understand your mom is your mom, but your MIL Is your H's mom and his baby is being born as well. There are lots of ways to have people in the delivery room without getting too graphic or up close and personal.

All that being said, last time I took my H and my sister with me. I didn't have my mother because I didn't want MIL and I didn't want to devastate her, so just my sister and H. The same will apply to this go around. My mother asked and I told her it wouldn't be fair.
Understood, mil and I don't have the best relationship in the first place. And "cousin" isn't a typical cousin- she is more like sister. We've been through a lot together-- and MIL knows how close we are-- and she would only be there in the case that husband was training with army

Oh I don't have a great relationship with my MIL and I have one of those cousin/sisters, I get your feelings completely, but I am very aware of the messages I send to people and I wouldn't want to send my MIL the message that she isn't important, because honestly it would be a doozie to fix. Would I love my mom with me? Sure. But it isn't worth the hurt feelings, it just isn't. Now if your H is gone, then I could see you wanting your mom and your MIL should totally understand that. I'm not being mean, but you asked and I'm just giving you my honest answer. Someday my little boy is going to have a baby (hopefully) and just because he wasn't a girl I'm going to get left out of so many important things, starting with the wedding preparations, right down to being the less important grand parent. I refuse to make anyone feel that way.

emsrdh03 · September 2013

With DS it was DH, my mom and my SIL was my nurse. I invited MIL but she didn't feel comfortable.

This go around will be very different. My mom died about 3 years ago and my SIL moved back east after she and my brother divorced. Even my OB recently retired. So my previous labor team pretty much fell apart.

I'm thinking just DH this time.

chargers32 · September 2013

Oh and I guess I feel extra bad about not letting my mom in bc my brothers wife let her in for both births so I feel like a huge bitch not letting her in for mine

I also think about when DD has babies and how I would feel. I think if she just wanted her DH in there I wouldn't be hurt, but idk I think I would want her to want me there, like she needs me ykwim?

ehhhh I think i'm getting hormonal over this now...lol

Kmbaybay · September 2013

ABColeslaw said:

Kmbaybay said:

ABColeslaw said:

Kmbaybay said:

This is still a long ways off but who are you letting in? This will be our second- with our first we lived in HAwaii, and it was just my husband. Now we live close to family and MIL insists that she will be in delivery room. I'm okay with my husband, my mom, and my cousin in the event my husband is gone with the army.. But I'm weirded out by MIL, we don't have the best relationship in the first place and her demanding on being in the room for delivery has me digging my heels a little deeper.

I'm going to admit that I didn't read the responses before replying. But I honestly believe if you're going to let your mother in the delivery room, you should let your MIL in before your cousin. For a brief moment vision your future as the mom to your fully grown son and getting left out of something huge while others...even a cousin get to partake. You'd be crushed. And maybe your MIL is insisting already because she is anticipating being left out and is already feeling rejected. I have a son and I know my feelings would be hurt, not if you said no one but your H, but if you let other people in and not me. I understand your mom is your mom, but your MIL Is your H's mom and his baby is being born as well. There are lots of ways to have people in the delivery room without getting too graphic or up close and personal.

All that being said, last time I took my H and my sister with me. I didn't have my mother because I didn't want MIL and I didn't want to devastate her, so just my sister and H. The same will apply to this go around. My mother asked and I told her it wouldn't be fair.

Understood, mil and I don't have the best relationship in the first place. And "cousin" isn't a typical cousin- she is more like sister. We've been through a lot together-- and MIL knows how close we are-- and she would only be there in the case that husband was training with army

Oh I don't have a great relationship with my MIL and I have one of those cousin/sisters, I get your feelings completely, but I am very aware of the messages I send to people and I wouldn't want to send my MIL the message that she isn't important, because honestly it would be a doozie to fix. Would I love my mom with me? Sure. But it isn't worth the hurt feelings, it just isn't. Now if your H is gone, then I could see you wanting your mom and your MIL should totally understand that. I'm not being mean, but you asked and I'm just giving you my honest answer. Someday my little boy is going to have a baby (hopefully) and just because he wasn't a girl I'm going to get left out of so many important things, starting with the wedding preparations, right down to being the less important grand parent. I refuse to make anyone feel that way.

Oh no, I'm not taking offense in anyway.. More just a vent. I guess it's hard to describe my feelings bc you'd have to understand the dynamics of this family.. Mil was essentially an absent parent in dh's life growing up-- who has recently decided to make an "effort"-- which means showing up a couple times a year - throwing around some money and expecting mom of the year. Having a bedtime for dd and rules gets me nicknamed "the dictator".. To say the least our relationship isn't great-- and my mom and i are very close.. I have no problem telling her no and my mom yes.

ABColeslaw · September 2013

Kmbaybay said:

Kmbaybay said:

Kmbaybay said:

This is still a long ways off but who are you letting in? This will be our second- with our first we lived in HAwaii, and it was just my husband. Now we live close to family and MIL insists that she will be in delivery room. I'm okay with my husband, my mom, and my cousin in the event my husband is gone with the army.. But I'm weirded out by MIL, we don't have the best relationship in the first place and her demanding on being in the room for delivery has me digging my heels a little deeper.

I'm going to admit that I didn't read the responses before replying. But I honestly believe if you're going to let your mother in the delivery room, you should let your MIL in before your cousin. For a brief moment vision your future as the mom to your fully grown son and getting left out of something huge while others...even a cousin get to partake. You'd be crushed. And maybe your MIL is insisting already because she is anticipating being left out and is already feeling rejected. I have a son and I know my feelings would be hurt, not if you said no one but your H, but if you let other people in and not me. I understand your mom is your mom, but your MIL Is your H's mom and his baby is being born as well. There are lots of ways to have people in the delivery room without getting too graphic or up close and personal.

All that being said, last time I took my H and my sister with me. I didn't have my mother because I didn't want MIL and I didn't want to devastate her, so just my sister and H. The same will apply to this go around. My mother asked and I told her it wouldn't be fair.
Understood, mil and I don't have the best relationship in the first place. And "cousin" isn't a typical cousin- she is more like sister. We've been through a lot together-- and MIL knows how close we are-- and she would only be there in the case that husband was training with army

Oh I don't have a great relationship with my MIL and I have one of those cousin/sisters, I get your feelings completely, but I am very aware of the messages I send to people and I wouldn't want to send my MIL the message that she isn't important, because honestly it would be a doozie to fix. Would I love my mom with me? Sure. But it isn't worth the hurt feelings, it just isn't. Now if your H is gone, then I could see you wanting your mom and your MIL should totally understand that. I'm not being mean, but you asked and I'm just giving you my honest answer. Someday my little boy is going to have a baby (hopefully) and just because he wasn't a girl I'm going to get left out of so many important things, starting with the wedding preparations, right down to being the less important grand parent. I refuse to make anyone feel that way.
Oh no, I'm not taking offense in anyway.. More just a vent. I guess it's hard to describe my feelings bc you'd have to understand the dynamics of this family.. Mil was essentially an absent parent in dh's life growing up-- who has recently decided to make an "effort"-- which means showing up a couple times a year - throwing around some money and expecting mom of the year. Having a bedtime for dd and rules gets me nicknamed "the dictator".. To say the least our relationship isn't great-- and my mom and i are very close.. I have no problem telling her no and my mom yes.

Ahh well it is all in the details, I'd let my foster mother in the delivery room in a heart beat if I didn't think it would destroy my MIL, but my birth mother would rot slowly before I let her in the room. So I get that.

Kmbaybay · September 2013

ABColeslaw said:

Kmbaybay said:

ABColeslaw said:

Kmbaybay said:

ABColeslaw said:

Kmbaybay said:

This is still a long ways off but who are you letting in? This will be our second- with our first we lived in HAwaii, and it was just my husband. Now we live close to family and MIL insists that she will be in delivery room. I'm okay with my husband, my mom, and my cousin in the event my husband is gone with the army.. But I'm weirded out by MIL, we don't have the best relationship in the first place and her demanding on being in the room for delivery has me digging my heels a little deeper.

I'm going to admit that I didn't read the responses before replying. But I honestly believe if you're going to let your mother in the delivery room, you should let your MIL in before your cousin. For a brief moment vision your future as the mom to your fully grown son and getting left out of something huge while others...even a cousin get to partake. You'd be crushed. And maybe your MIL is insisting already because she is anticipating being left out and is already feeling rejected. I have a son and I know my feelings would be hurt, not if you said no one but your H, but if you let other people in and not me. I understand your mom is your mom, but your MIL Is your H's mom and his baby is being born as well. There are lots of ways to have people in the delivery room without getting too graphic or up close and personal.

All that being said, last time I took my H and my sister with me. I didn't have my mother because I didn't want MIL and I didn't want to devastate her, so just my sister and H. The same will apply to this go around. My mother asked and I told her it wouldn't be fair.

Understood, mil and I don't have the best relationship in the first place. And "cousin" isn't a typical cousin- she is more like sister. We've been through a lot together-- and MIL knows how close we are-- and she would only be there in the case that husband was training with army

Oh I don't have a great relationship with my MIL and I have one of those cousin/sisters, I get your feelings completely, but I am very aware of the messages I send to people and I wouldn't want to send my MIL the message that she isn't important, because honestly it would be a doozie to fix. Would I love my mom with me? Sure. But it isn't worth the hurt feelings, it just isn't. Now if your H is gone, then I could see you wanting your mom and your MIL should totally understand that. I'm not being mean, but you asked and I'm just giving you my honest answer. Someday my little boy is going to have a baby (hopefully) and just because he wasn't a girl I'm going to get left out of so many important things, starting with the wedding preparations, right down to being the less important grand parent. I refuse to make anyone feel that way.

Oh no, I'm not taking offense in anyway.. More just a vent. I guess it's hard to describe my feelings bc you'd have to understand the dynamics of this family.. Mil was essentially an absent parent in dh's life growing up-- who has recently decided to make an "effort"-- which means showing up a couple times a year - throwing around some money and expecting mom of the year. Having a bedtime for dd and rules gets me nicknamed "the dictator".. To say the least our relationship isn't great-- and my mom and i are very close.. I have no problem telling her no and my mom yes.

Ahh well it is all in the details, I'd let my foster mother in the delivery room in a heart beat if I didn't think it would destroy my MIL, but my birth mother would rot slowly before I let her in the room. So I get that.
.

I guess I didn't realize how strong I felt about it till I had to defend my stance.. Perhaps it should be retitled "lots of vent"

ABColeslaw · September 2013

Kmbaybay said:

Kmbaybay said:

Kmbaybay said:

Kmbaybay said:

This is still a long ways off but who are you letting in? This will be our second- with our first we lived in HAwaii, and it was just my husband. Now we live close to family and MIL insists that she will be in delivery room. I'm okay with my husband, my mom, and my cousin in the event my husband is gone with the army.. But I'm weirded out by MIL, we don't have the best relationship in the first place and her demanding on being in the room for delivery has me digging my heels a little deeper.

I'm going to admit that I didn't read the responses before replying. But I honestly believe if you're going to let your mother in the delivery room, you should let your MIL in before your cousin. For a brief moment vision your future as the mom to your fully grown son and getting left out of something huge while others...even a cousin get to partake. You'd be crushed. And maybe your MIL is insisting already because she is anticipating being left out and is already feeling rejected. I have a son and I know my feelings would be hurt, not if you said no one but your H, but if you let other people in and not me. I understand your mom is your mom, but your MIL Is your H's mom and his baby is being born as well. There are lots of ways to have people in the delivery room without getting too graphic or up close and personal.

All that being said, last time I took my H and my sister with me. I didn't have my mother because I didn't want MIL and I didn't want to devastate her, so just my sister and H. The same will apply to this go around. My mother asked and I told her it wouldn't be fair.
Understood, mil and I don't have the best relationship in the first place. And "cousin" isn't a typical cousin- she is more like sister. We've been through a lot together-- and MIL knows how close we are-- and she would only be there in the case that husband was training with army

Oh I don't have a great relationship with my MIL and I have one of those cousin/sisters, I get your feelings completely, but I am very aware of the messages I send to people and I wouldn't want to send my MIL the message that she isn't important, because honestly it would be a doozie to fix. Would I love my mom with me? Sure. But it isn't worth the hurt feelings, it just isn't. Now if your H is gone, then I could see you wanting your mom and your MIL should totally understand that. I'm not being mean, but you asked and I'm just giving you my honest answer. Someday my little boy is going to have a baby (hopefully) and just because he wasn't a girl I'm going to get left out of so many important things, starting with the wedding preparations, right down to being the less important grand parent. I refuse to make anyone feel that way.
Oh no, I'm not taking offense in anyway.. More just a vent. I guess it's hard to describe my feelings bc you'd have to understand the dynamics of this family.. Mil was essentially an absent parent in dh's life growing up-- who has recently decided to make an "effort"-- which means showing up a couple times a year - throwing around some money and expecting mom of the year. Having a bedtime for dd and rules gets me nicknamed "the dictator".. To say the least our relationship isn't great-- and my mom and i are very close.. I have no problem telling her no and my mom yes.

Ahh well it is all in the details, I'd let my foster mother in the delivery room in a heart beat if I didn't think it would destroy my MIL, but my birth mother would rot slowly before I let her in the room. So I get that.
. I guess I didn't realize how strong I felt about it till I had to defend my stance.. Perhaps it should be retitled "lots of vent"

I think you need to have your husband tell his mother no. I think he needs to be the one. And it shouldn't be that hard since we was hardly mom of the year. I hate when parents think they can make up their crappy parenting by being an "important" grandparent. My birth mother tries that crap and it isn't working.

OSMmom · September 2013

With DD my bestie happened to be visiting and it all just happened, I was cool with it, she has seen me in worse predicaments! Lol I don't have any siblings, so she feels very connected to my DD which is nice to have a aunt figure from my side. If she was intersed in being in for #2 she would be welcome. My mom and DH were there too. Everybody fell into their roll properly. My aunt will probably have DD, and bring her closely after delivery(if hospital has lifted RSV restrictions)

ajsweeton · September 2013

I honestly don't care who's in there at this point. When we delivered our twins my mom and mil were in the room. I don't know if Elliott and Ryland had made it to term who would have been there, but I didn't want DH to have to go through that without his mom too. And I feel very close with my mil. I'd like to have them both in the room again just because I think that it allows them to have a special bond with their grandbaby. I've noticed that some grandparents show favoritism to those grandkids that they were able to be a part of their birth.

LMc008 · September 2013

We had lots of people saying how we "better" call them to come to the hospital when I went into labour - we didn't even tell anyone it was happening until a few hours after B was born. After he was born everyone was too excited to come see him to care that we didn't invite them!

Momb4mom2b · September 2013

I've only had my DH in the room with me for all three kids. My family live out of state. My MIL had 9 kids so I'm sure she's seen and done it all but I just don't feel comfortable with anyone else. My DH is amazing support during labor and delivery. I'm not even sure I'd let my mom in even if she were in town. Like some others who've posted I don't feel it's a spectator event. I'm very private about this special and exhausting time. They can visit for a short time after but I don't even like visitors for long because sleep is all I want and time alone with my baby and DH.

mya1218 · September 2013

I'm gonna let in just my DH. I love my mom to pieces and she is my best friend but I want it to be and intimate experience for my hubby and I. I know of course the nurses and doctors will be there but I want us to enjoy the miracle of our child's birth as a couple and as parents. I want him and I to bond with the baby after and no one else. Everyone else can visit later.

CMDR513 · September 2013

My Mom passed away 6 years before I had DS. My MIL and I are very close. I chose to have both DH and her. I ended up with an emergency CS early in the AM. DH was the only one allowed in. DH called his parents as soon as we found out it was going to happen. At that point, I was already on the hospital over 3 days. ILs have two sons (DH and his brother who is 8 years younger). They have always treated me as the daughter they never had. I am the one that initiated the decision to invite MIL in the room. For me it's a lot different than your situation.

Madds31 · September 2013

Probably just DH here too. I have a good relationship with my MIL but that still doesn't mean I want her in there when I deliver. People can give us space ( it's our first) and come visit after.

awc1986 · September 2013

Just DH and I would expect my dad to be at the hospital. I would have liked my mum there, but she passed in June. I know she'll be there in spirit though.

cactus5 · September 2013

I would not let her in in your case, and I would have your husband tell her.

I really could care less who is in the room with me, but I have just had just my husband and mom during my deliveries because there is a two person rule at the hospital.

rach2686 · September 2013

I think you need to do what you want in this case. Stand your ground!!!

My sister let us visit until she was getting closer to pushing and in more pain the she just had her husband. I think I'm good with that. I honestly wouldn't mind my mom or MIL in there but I'm not sure I could handle both. My younger sister has already privately asked me if I would think about her being in for the delivery, I'm considering it, but I'm not sure if it would cause drama or hurt feelings. I think everyone will at least be in the hospital as we all were for my nieces' births.

SweetTea420 · September 2013

Only DH will be in the delivery room. I'd be okay with my mom in there, but if I did that then my MIL would be pissed.

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Delivery room-- who are you letting in? (A little vent)

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