A Selective Boys Club

DefaultJohnson1234 · September 2013

After a recent post (that has since been removed), I think I may have stumbled onto a few reasons this Daddy board is so stagnant...and repetitive. Both myself and my well meaning, although sometimes over the top, neighbor and friend gettinNone both found the first time we posted anything, we were shunned by the same couple guys. At this point, I am sure those same guys are coming up with rationale and rebuttals for their actions. As I am not naming names, I am pretty sure their comments will come out of personal guilt.

With that being said, I plan on a test. I am going to be making some posts, and see how dickish these same guys turn out to be.

ThoseWitchyParents · September 2013

From the view of a newbie, I don't view this board as stagnant at all. The guys on here have been super nice and supportive of me and I haven't had any ill words about anything. People take things they read differently than others, and react according to how they take it. Now if this is a response to your "Lowering the Male Sex Drive" post, it did kind of seem like an infomercial-esque post, but after reading through the conversations posted on their I realized it was not; However, a lot of the guys did apologize for thinking that way. You have to look at it from two points of the spectrum: Yours and Theirs.

Furthermore, to be completely honest with you I think that this series of tests to see how "dickish" these guys can be is a little immature. I mean, calling them names (even though you aren't naming anyone) is the first step into the same dick pool. If something is bothering you let it be known and then drop it. Using the Dads and Dads to Be board as a testing ground because you got your feelings hurt isn't the place to do it. You can message the people you have beef with, instead of making it a public debacle.

T3hHusband · September 2013

Any forum, anywhere, if you decide this may be something you like, or could give you advice then it's common courtesy to introduce yourself. Give us some background. Are you expecting? Are you already a parent? Then in all sincerity go crazy with your sex drive issues. We're all really supportive, if you do things "correctly" Same for your bff Gettingnone. I know you both just joined but shit man.

gettinNone · September 2013

Default is just pissed his post was taken down....and people were not very welcoming. A few warmed up after a while.

futant462 · September 2013

Selective boys club my ass. This is a public message board on the Internet and anyone can post what they want.

From what I remember about your post, it read slightly spammy like you were advertising something (we've seen that before). There was no intro, no "Hi my name is Joe and I have a two year old." The guys on here are very welcoming to new Dads and moms but its common courtesy to let everyone know who you are.

And spamming the board with your sage-like advice in order to prove that we are big ole meanies (that IS your point right?) isn't going to win you any friends.

And @gettinNone, frankly I have no idea how a thread is deleted. The only ones who probably have that power would be the mods and I don't even know whether our board has one anymore. The thread was deleted for a reason, most likely for ToS violation for spam or bullying or some shit like that.

LuckyDad · September 2013

It is a boy's club, yes.

If you post stupid shit, you're gonna be made fun of. Welcome to the internet.

Sandy Cohen · September 2013

"Welcome to the Internet" - LuckyDad

)

Prime · September 2013

Wow I apparently missed some drama that usually doesn't make its way to this board.

futant462 · September 2013

@LuckyDad

You officially win the Dads board today. I would post some pics of Scarlett Johansson in your honor but I'm on mobile.

Wulfgar · September 2013

If I am correct, all boards have moderators who look over the content. If you do something that a lot of people might see as spam then it is the moderators that will delete this. I don't think any of the usual dads on here are the moderators.

Sometimes if I am going to be only a board for a short period of time such as the loss board, I will give people enough information on what is happening to get feed back from others that have been there.

LuckyDad · September 2013

Wulfgar said:

If I am correct, all boards have moderators who look over the content. If you do something that a lot of people might see as spam then it is the moderators that will delete this. I don't think any of the usual dads on here are the moderators.

Sometimes if I am going to be only a board for a short period of time such as the loss board, I will give people enough information on what is happening to get feed back from others that have been there.

Stuff that gets flagged as spam/abuse ends up in the moderater queue for moderation. The Dad's board does not have a designated mod, but there are some excellent mods who will come by and clean out spam pretty quick.

gettinNone · September 2013

jack19 said:
if you will recall the reason why @gettinnone seemed to feel unwelcomed stemmed from a post he made in the breastfeeding thread:

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12029427/breastfeeding#latest

He initially wrote:

"Yes. Seeing my wife breastfeeding stimulates me. I am a little jealous when the LO is feeding since sucking in them is on the top of my 'want to do list'. I get that the baby is eating and it is natural. Getting turned on by an erogenous body part on my baby is natural as well."

This elicited a reaction on the board, inclusive of flags, one was from me. He then got pissy with those that read and reacted to his post and he pointed out that he had edited it a day later due to an unfortunate auto correct that changed body to baby or something and scolded us that "we were all quick to judge"

The auto correct was all perfectly understandable but i ask you @defaultjohnson1234 What should people do? Read a post and then not react for 24-48 hours until the OP has had a chance to edit it? Give me a break.

If that is the unwelcome feeling he is referring to then yes, that was me. I have no problem owning it, @gettinnone on the other hand should feel like a jackass for recruiting his "neighbor" to test the waters of this board

MY was not used where you specified and bolded. That was in your head.

DefaultJohnson1234 · September 2013

jack19 said:

if you will recall the reason why @gettinnone seemed to feel unwelcomed stemmed from a post he made in the breastfeeding thread:

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12029427/breastfeeding#latest

He initially wrote:

"Yes. Seeing my wife breastfeeding stimulates me. I am a little jealous when the LO is feeding since sucking in them is on the top of my 'want to do list'. I get that the baby is eating and it is natural. Getting turned on by an erogenous body part on my baby is natural as well."

This elicited a reaction on the board, inclusive of flags, one was from me. He then got pissy with those that read and reacted to his post and he pointed out that he had edited it a day later due to an unfortunate auto correct that changed body to baby or something and scolded us that "we were all quick to judge"

The auto correct was all perfectly understandable but i ask you @defaultjohnson1234 What should people do? Read a post and then not react for 24-48 hours until the OP has had a chance to edit it? Give me a break.

If that is the unwelcome feeling he is referring to then yes, that was me. I have no problem owning it, @gettinnone on the other hand should feel like a jackass for recruiting his "neighbor" to test the waters of this board

Since you asked, I guess my take would be to first do what several people have said and instead of throwing a fit, to message the person you have a problem with first to make sure it was not a misunderstanding.

Second, gettin did not ask me to test the waters.

Third, you are not quoting him correctly. He did not say MY BABY. He did have baby in there, but once he saw that body was autocorrected to baby, he went back to change it. I do not know the exact wording, gettin does not remember, and no one quoted him so we cannot go back to see exactly.

Lastly, It also appears you are still defending your outrage on this misunderstanding that has been cleared up long ago, but you still choose to call people a jackass. I guess at least you owned up to being one of the people that are still shunning new members.

futant462 · September 2013

T3hHusband · September 2013

futant462 said:

. Dr. Strangelove???

futant462 · September 2013

@T3hHusband

Yessir

futant462 · September 2013

jack19 said:

my baby, a baby, the baby. It really doesn't matter does it? And what fantasy land are you living in? Why would I PM someone to make sure I didn't misunderstand? This is a forum, a public meeting place therefore the discussion is free to air in the forum. Why didn't you PM me to discuss this? For the same reason, so it can discussed in the forum.

If we are going to get into semantics then you should really not put words in my mouth, I didn't call anyone a jackass. I said he should feel like a jackass. See the pointless nature of all of this? Who cares really?

I don't shun new members, I defended a well justified flag. Nothing more. But I will shun you because you seem like a troll.

And if anyone hasn't realized it yet, this is the part where I just start GIF-bombing this useless fucking thread.

futant462 · September 2013

I love that seal man, he is so hypnotic.

futant462 · September 2013

jack19 said:

me too. Hey @futant462, how are things going with the new addition? Everyone hanging in there?

We had a bit of a rough time after we left the hospital on Friday because Everett was diagnosed with Jaundice. So we had to have him admitted to the Pediatric Ward of the hospital so that they could give him the LED light treatment. They also found he was dehydrated so they had to give him an IV in his fucking head, which was truly horrifying to look at. He also lost over a pound since birth.

This was all due to my wife's breastmilk not coming in yet because of her C-section, so basically he wasn't getting the right amount of nourishment. Since then, his jaundice has cleared up and we have been supplementing formula along with breast milk to get his weight back up (he's gained back 8 ounces).

Sorry that was a little long. Other than all of that he's doing great, he's cute as can be, and we are definitely enjoying our time being parents. We're a little sleep deprived but that was mainly because he was having a hard time not getting enough food the first few days.

gettinNone · September 2013

futant462 said:

jack19 said:

my baby, a baby, the baby. It really doesn't matter does it? And what fantasy land are you living in? Why would I PM someone to make sure I didn't misunderstand? This is a forum, a public meeting place therefore the discussion is free to air in the forum. Why didn't you PM me to discuss this? For the same reason, so it can discussed in the forum.

If we are going to get into semantics then you should really not put words in my mouth, I didn't call anyone a jackass. I said he should feel like a jackass. See the pointless nature of all of this? Who cares really?

I don't shun new members, I defended a well justified flag. Nothing more. But I will shun you because you seem like a troll.

And if anyone hasn't realized it yet, this is the part where I just start GIF-bombing this useless fucking thread.

Just quoting for future references....

futant462 · September 2013

gettinNone said:

jack19 said:

my baby, a baby, the baby. It really doesn't matter does it? And what fantasy land are you living in? Why would I PM someone to make sure I didn't misunderstand? This is a forum, a public meeting place therefore the discussion is free to air in the forum. Why didn't you PM me to discuss this? For the same reason, so it can discussed in the forum.

If we are going to get into semantics then you should really not put words in my mouth, I didn't call anyone a jackass. I said he should feel like a jackass. See the pointless nature of all of this? Who cares really?

I don't shun new members, I defended a well justified flag. Nothing more. But I will shun you because you seem like a troll.

And if anyone hasn't realized it yet, this is the part where I just start GIF-bombing this useless fucking thread.
Just quoting for future references....

Quote away boss...

Djjubbajubba · September 2013

I thoroughly enjoy the but hurt in this post! I love you guys! I'm in the military. So I know it's not a boys club. Just a couple of guys who do stupid shot and get hit for it.

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