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Baby Doesn't Miss Me

Jam33Jam33 member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months
My little man will be 4 months old in a couple days. I just started school last week full time, and I'm usually gone for 5-6 hours at a time, sometimes longer and he stays at home with his Dad. I spend as much time as I can with him when I'm home, but I also have tons of homework. I usually let him amuse himself on his playmat or exersaucer and talk to him while I'm doing my schoolwork and then when he gets cranky I pick him up and cuddle/feed/play with him for a while and then put him back on the mat or in the exersaucer and do more homework (repeat until bedtime). I wasn't able to breastfeed so I missed out on that, but I pump breast milk into bottles and feed him that way. He doesn't seem to notice I'm gone and he doesn't look particularly happy to see me when I get home. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he doesn't get upset when I leave, but it would be nice if he'd show some excitement when I come back. Is he just too little to notice that I'm gone, or am I not spending enough time with him?
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Re: Baby Doesn't Miss Me

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    ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    The PP is right.  Object permanence is the idea that things continue to exist even when you can't see them, feel them, smell them, etc.  Infants don't have this.  When something is completely removed from them, they don't long for it or miss it.  They also have no concept of time so he doesn't realize you're gone for 6 hours at a time. It's not personal and believe me, he'll get to a point where he's giddy at you appearing :)
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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    JenniD2JenniD2 member
    jack19 said:
    I think he is too young to notice you are gone, just my opinion
    This. Don't worry too much. My little guy was the same way at that age.
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    Pearls+OystersPearls+Oysters member
    Wait until he's closer to 6months... Our LO started noticing, at 5.5 months, when one of us is out of sight... 

    Your little man loves you and you're his entire world! He just doesn't have the notion that you're a separate entity from him, for now.
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    Jam33Jam33 member
    Thanks everyone, that makes me feel much better. Like I said, I'm thrilled that he doesn't get upset when I leave (because if he did, I wouldn't be able to make myself leave lol) but I'm excited to see his face light up when I walk into the house.
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    aeh72aeh72 member

    Do not worry yourself! As pp mentioned, you are his world and when he's able to express that to you, he will.  When I first started leaving DS at daycare, he seemed like did not care at all that I left him in the morning or that I was there to pick him up in the evening (that was a blessing and a bit of a punch to the stomach at the same time!), and then about 3-4 months ago, I got my first run-from-across-the-room greeting when I picked him up.  It was the best feeling ever.  Now he does it while yelling "Mommy!"  Melts me every time.  Those days will come for you too!! :-)

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