I'm sorry in advance that this is so long...
I’m starting to feel like a horrible person here. I’m less than 10 days away from our little girls getting here and for the life of me, I can’t get excited. I’ve been cautiously ecstatic since the beginning but ever since we set our C-section date I feel like I’m just stuck in ‘shocked’ mode. Everyone else around me, my husband, the grandmothers, friends, everyone else, is soooooo excited and dang near giddy about the girls getting here, but I just can’t get there. Everything is ready for them, the room, car seats, everything…I’ve had a fairly easy and blessed pregnancy all things considered, and I’ve actually enjoyed being pregnant, (okay well, until the last few weeks when I seem to have lost all ability to get comfortable or sleep more than an hour at a time) but I just can’t get excited.
I want to see them so bad but I just…I don’t know….I’m not excited like everyone else, more just shocked that it’s almost here and I’m about to have 2 little infants. I’ve never even held a baby before and now I’m about to have 2 of them…..what crazy person thinks that is okay??? (Somewhat joking there but still)
I just don’t know what to do but I feel like a horrible person that so many people are so happy and all I can do is smile and say ‘yep, their almost here’. I know how crazy blessed we are on so many different levels but I feel like I’m just going through the motions right now.
Is this normal or am I completely crazy?
Re: I think I'm losing it and they aren't even born yet....
Dx: balanced translocation and LPD
TTC since Oct 2011
BPF 02/19/12, EDD 10/31/12, natural m/c 02/28/12 (4w6d)
IVF (BCPs starting 10/30/12, ER 11/18/12, 5dt of 1 beautiful, healthy embryo 11/23/12)
BFP 12/02/12, u/s @ 6w,5d showed 2 HBs! Identical twins!!
Bed rest from 21w-35w due to short cervix, hospital bed rest from 23w-32w due to PTL
Our rainbows were born 07/19/13 (36w, 5d)
I tried talking to my mom about this and she completely didn't understand apparently but my thought was exactly what you said Mrs Lee...it's easy for her to be excited, she gets to play with them and then send them home! But I AM home.
I really do appreciate the responses, I've been feeling horrible about this and poor husband just has no idea what to say...yall really have made me feel a little better though.
Score for the internet!
DH: 31, normal!
April/May 2011: Menopur + Ovidrel +TI = BFN
Oct 2011: Menopur + Hcg +IUI = BFP!
Beta #1 (13dpiui)= 129.7, Beta #2 (15 dpiui)= 305
PAIF/SAIF always welcome!
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