So worried..

Ansleyturner · September 2013

The case is under investigation. Thank you for all the advice.

ekruegerrn · September 2013

Call adult protective services ASAP

tryston123 · September 2013

I would call protective services ASAP. She can't do that, and your GG needs to be in the hands of someone who is going to actually care for her not try to kill her!

AGriffin620 · September 2013

Adult Services ASAP!!

jennviteo · September 2013

I agree that you should call adult protective surfaces. And bed sores are horrible. My dad had those once he lost feeling in the lower half of his body and was bed ridden for the last weeks before he passed from cancer also.

frankierokx · September 2013

I'm sorry I have no advice but I agree with PP.

My thoughts are with you.

laurenmorris1 · September 2013

This is terrifying, one of you that lives close need to go and Save your GG. Take her out or stay with her and refuse to leave, let your B call the police... I'm sure they will look at the situation differently once they see what's going on!

Ansleyturner · September 2013

I must add that B changed the papers that no one should be talking to the family about her care and annon was NOT supposed to tell my mom what she told her. She could be sued. Idk how B did it. But could we still call APS knowing that??

Ark2013 · September 2013

I don't have any advice to add to pp have already said but I am so sorry that this is happening.

My thoughts and prayers are with your GG.

Jenniferomeo · September 2013

Call adult protective services or even take her to the hospital. You could probably get her to be admitted for altered mental status or failure to thrive or something like that and her bed sores would be taken care of there. Anyways, once at the hospital you and your mom could voice your concerns and they'd send social workers to see you. You may be able to get her taken from your grandmothers care that way.

Ansleyturner · September 2013

So how would we explain how we know she's in bad care without getting annon in trouble/sued??

esf60 · September 2013

Holy hell... Call the police. The authorities need to be involved immediately.

AGriffin620 · September 2013

Ansleyturner said:
So how would we explain how we know she's in bad care without getting annon in trouble/sued??

Is there anyone who "doesn't know" about the change in paperwork? That person should visit, then report. This is major cause for concern and someone needs to somehow intervene.

Crgardner957 · September 2013

Oh my goodness! How awful!

tattooedtragedy · September 2013

If the room smells bad and B is denying GG water that is cause enough I agree with all PP and think you should call EPS.

Also I'm sorry that you and your family are going through this.

sporklemotion · September 2013

Ansleyturner said:

I must add that B changed the papers that no one should be talking to the family about her care and annon was NOT supposed to tell my mom what she told her. She could be sued. Idk how B did it. But could we still call APS knowing that??

It sounds liked your mother saw enough to disturb her, so focus on that? Also have the source check with a lawyer-- the paperwork sounds super shady to me, but that may be because I don't know how your source fits into the picture-- is it a former caregiver or something? Is it a HIPPA thing? Your mother may be able to petition to become a health care proxy/get power of attorney. I'm guessing your grandmother has this now.

2010weddinggal · September 2013

elder services are avalible 24/7 is she a DNR?

2010weddinggal · September 2013

Just because B changed the papers does not mean she can withold care, they will be able to see that care has been witheld and B will not have a case to sue. If GG is a DNR call the police and explain to them what is going on. They will come and investigate, GG needs to be some place that she will be cared for even if she is in her last days. I suggest you make that call sooner rather then later, B can be charged with neglect of an elderly person.

Lpegirl2013 · September 2013

That makes me sick to my stomach! I'm so very sorry to hear that. And get on the phone, there's definitely something you can do! Thoughts and prayers your way

insertclevername · September 2013

The fact that your mother saw her and the state she was in and was told by B she should not have any water, that is enough to make a report. Not treating bed sores and denying her water i abuse and neglect. Please call APS. Most offices have a 24 hour hotline for adult and child protective issues.

katieh704 · September 2013

so sorry to hear this. thoughts and prayers

Marchmellow2 · September 2013

Jenniferomeo said:
Call adult protective services or even take her to the hospital. You could probably get her to be admitted for altered mental status or failure to thrive or something like that and her bed sores would be taken care of there. Anyways, once at the hospital you and your mom could voice your concerns and they'd send social workers to see you. You may be able to get her taken from your grandmothers care that way.

I agree with this. I'm sorry about all this. I'm surrounding GG in love and light!

2010weddinggal · September 2013

Marchmellow2 said:

Call adult protective services or even take her to the hospital. You could probably get her to be admitted for altered mental status or failure to thrive or something like that and her bed sores would be taken care of there. Anyways, once at the hospital you and your mom could voice your concerns and they'd send social workers to see you. You may be able to get her taken from your grandmothers care that way.
I agree with this. I'm sorry about all this. I'm surrounding GG in love and light!

They will admit her for the bed sores if they are really bad, if she has a DNR and it is no extraordinary measures at all they won't do much. I hope B did not get the DNR changed it sounds like she has power of attorney which means she can change things without anyone's permission..... she still needs to be some other place then there bed sores hurt really bad and she needs to be turned every 2 hours and be on foam egg crates....

Stffhappns · September 2013

Is she enrolled in hospice care? If so, they should have some sort of number to call to get someone there to visit GG within a few hours and assess her. And I agree with the PP's who said this sounds super shady.

utlawgirl · September 2013

I agree with PPs that you need to call and get someone involved here -- whether that means elder protective services or 911 I'm not sure, since it probably varies based on what area you're in, but you do need to do something now. If B is withholding water, time is of the essence and GG is suffering. I hope this is not what it seems like, because it just breaks my heart. Try to leave aside the issues of who might get "in trouble" for reporting -- there are larger issues here, and although I don't know the legal situation, I can't imagine that B would have any kind of case against someone reporting neglect/malfeasance in good faith.

Ansleyturner · September 2013

Stffhappns said:
Is she enrolled in hospice care? If so, they should have some sort of number to call to get someone there to visit GG within a few hours and assess her. And I agree with the PP's who said this sounds super shady.

What sounds super shady?? The paper work or the OP?? I really hope you mean the paper work.
I'm basically hearing all this through my mother so idk all the details, but I've told her what you've all said. I basically have to let her deal with all of this since she's the one who witnessed everything and she is the one annon is talking to not me. But any advice given is being shared and will be taken into consideration if my mother doesn't get the job done.

Also what is a DNR??

CandiP523 · September 2013

Ansleyturner said:
So how would we explain how we know she's in bad care without getting annon in trouble/sued??

You are protected by the law if you make an APS report in good faith!

alysonmo25 · September 2013

I work as a director in a senior living community. I cases like these you need to call 911. This is elder abuse. They will bring her to the hospital where they will treat her and make her comfortable and your B will be arrested for elder abuse. If you do nothing along with your mother you are part of the problem. Sorry to be so harsh but this is something I am very passionate about. Seniors are just like infants in may ways and need to same protection. If someone was doing this to your child you would do something about it. This is wrong!

Stffhappns · September 2013

Ansleyturner said:

Is she enrolled in hospice care? If so, they should have some sort of number to call to get someone there to visit GG within a few hours and assess her. And I agree with the PP's who said this sounds super shady.
What sounds super shady?? The paper work or the OP?? I really hope you mean the paper work. I'm basically hearing all this through my mother so idk all the details, but I've told her what you've all said. I basically have to let her deal with all of this since she's the one who witnessed everything and she is the one annon is talking to not me. But any advice given is being shared and will be taken into consideration if my mother doesn't get the job done. Also what is a DNR??

A DNR is a "do not resuscitate" order, meaning that if the person's heart were to stop, or they were to stop breathing, CPR would not be performed (and yes, there are many different types of DNR's, different levels of interventions that people request to be done/not be done, but this is the basic type).

And I was referring to the "paperwork" and B's behavior as being super shady, not the OP.

cantsitwithus · September 2013

@Ansleyturner DNR: do not resuscitate which means no extraordinary measures can be taken if her body fails. For example If GG was to stop breathing one couldn't perform CPR or if her heart stopped you couldn't use a defibrillator and so on.

grannyweatherwax · September 2013

Please call. Just tell them you suspect neglect. Your great grandma deserves dignity & respect and for her last days to be free of pain.

Ansleyturner · September 2013

alysonmo25 said:
I work as a director in a senior living community. I cases like these you need to call 911. This is elder abuse. They will bring her to the hospital where they will treat her and make her comfortable and your B will be arrested for elder abuse. If you do nothing along with your mother you are part of the problem. Sorry to be so harsh but this is something I am very passionate about. Seniors are just like infants in may ways and need to same protection. If someone was doing this to your child you would do something about it. This is wrong!

You don't have to convince me it's wrong I know it is? I just had no idea what to do in this situation. I assure you appropriate measures will be taken and she will receive the care she needs. No offense but I don't need you making me feel like shit on top of this. I'm obviously trying to get her help. And I will call 911 if I have to.

mh89 · September 2013

Call 911 and report elder abuse right now. Don't wait until tomorrow to call adult services.

esf60 · September 2013

Ansleyturner said:

alysonmo25 said:
I work as a director in a senior living community. I cases like these you need to call 911. This is elder abuse. They will bring her to the hospital where they will treat her and make her comfortable and your B will be arrested for elder abuse. If you do nothing along with your mother you are part of the problem. Sorry to be so harsh but this is something I am very passionate about. Seniors are just like infants in may ways and need to same protection. If someone was doing this to your child you would do something about it. This is wrong!
You don't have to convince me it's wrong I know it is? I just had no idea what to do in this situation. I assure you appropriate measures will be taken and she will receive the care she needs. No offense but I don't need you making me feel like shit on top of this. I'm obviously trying to get her help. And I will call 911 if I have to.

I really don't think @alysonmo25 was trying to make you feel like shit. She's an expert in the field, unlike many of us. Sounds like she gave you good advice. If your first line of defense is consulting a bunch of strangers on the Internet about a very serious legal problem, take what you can get.

Ansleyturner · September 2013

I called and they are going out to investigate. I will be taking the OP text out since it is under investigation. Thanks for all of the advice.

CandiP523 · September 2013

Ansleyturner said:
I called and they are going out to investigate. I will be taking the OP text out since it is under investigation. Thanks for all of the advice.

Good job. Hope they are going out ASAP!

bargainbabe75 · September 2013

This is tragic. Call the relative protection authorities asap. Try and let your GG know you're there for her.

Ansleyturner · September 2013

esf60 said:

Ansleyturner said:

alysonmo25 said:
I work as a director in a senior living community. I cases like these you need to call 911. This is elder abuse. They will bring her to the hospital where they will treat her and make her comfortable and your B will be arrested for elder abuse. If you do nothing along with your mother you are part of the problem. Sorry to be so harsh but this is something I am very passionate about. Seniors are just like infants in may ways and need to same protection. If someone was doing this to your child you would do something about it. This is wrong!
You don't have to convince me it's wrong I know it is? I just had no idea what to do in this situation. I assure you appropriate measures will be taken and she will receive the care she needs. No offense but I don't need you making me feel like shit on top of this. I'm obviously trying to get her help. And I will call 911 if I have to.
I really don't think @alysonmo25 was trying to make you feel like shit. She's an expert in the field, unlike many of us. Sounds like she gave you good advice. If your first line of defense is consulting a bunch of strangers on the Internet about a very serious legal problem, take what you can get.

I just felt like she was assuming nothing was being done when she said 'If you do nothing along with your mother you are part of the problem.' I felt the need to defend myself that I am doing whatever I can. No one is doing nothing. Like I said I appreciate the advice but I wanted the best course of action before anything was done. And your right maybe TB wasnt the best place to go for such a serious matter, but I needed someone's opinion that wasn't directly involved. I'm just glad they are going out to investigate and I hope and pray it turns out for the best.

ETA: I'm also trying to keep my hormones under control during all of this so just bear with me please.

alysonmo25 · September 2013

Ansleyturner said:

alysonmo25 said:
I work as a director in a senior living community. I cases like these you need to call 911. This is elder abuse. They will bring her to the hospital where they will treat her and make her comfortable and your B will be arrested for elder abuse. If you do nothing along with your mother you are part of the problem. Sorry to be so harsh but this is something I am very passionate about. Seniors are just like infants in may ways and need to same protection. If someone was doing this to your child you would do something about it. This is wrong!
You don't have to convince me it's wrong I know it is? I just had no idea what to do in this situation. I assure you appropriate measures will be taken and she will receive the care she needs. No offense but I don't need you making me feel like shit on top of this. I'm obviously trying to get her help. And I will call 911 if I have to.

Sorry if it came across that way. Like I said I am very passionate about Seniors. And it breaks my heart when I hear a story like this. Your GG is very lucky to have you in her life. There are to many seniors out there that do not have someone like you to fight for them or to be their voice. Even if these are her last days you have done the right thing and she will be forever grateful! Again I am so sorry for coming across harsh but just like you I want the best for your GG!

2010weddinggal · September 2013

Sweetie if you wait to call and she dies, nothing will be done cause the DNR comes into play and they treat it like she died from her disease. No charges at that time can be filed and B get's away scott free. Listen to the ladies here some come from knowledgeable backgrounds, call the police tonight so they can take her to the hospital for some treatment. It needs to be documented the care B has been giving her, please do not wait this is a matter that need's to be addressed right now.

Ansleyturner · September 2013

I already did call and its being investigated that's why I deleted the original text.

Want a personalized experience?

So worried..

Re: So worried..

Choose Another Board

Search Boards