Who will you prefer?

Daisylola11 · September 2013

I meant to post this here but I did on BOTB oops

I was lurking on a few other boards on the bump, specifically 3rd trimester and natural birth..... And I started thinking

When/if i get my BFP and get to the labor part who will I want in the room with me?

I think I would welcome my sister, mom, MIL maybe a close friend (she's a nurse) but when I'm in active labor I only want SO and midwife in the room. I might change my mind but as of now that's what I would like, we made the baby we get to be there when baby arrives. Also wanting to go w a natural birth no meds (if me and baby are healthy of course)

Have you ladies thought about this, who would u want to be in the room?

TeeJ526 · September 2013

I think just MH. Everyone else can wait in the waiting room.

lookame3639 · September 2013

Itll be my mom and fiance. That has been in the plans forever.

WinningColors · September 2013

Just my husband.

Daisylola11 · September 2013

HiCan said:

I've struggled with this... I love my mom and am VERY close to her, but part of me only wants my H in there for the *actual delivery*. I know my mom will respect whatever I choose but I can imagine she might get her feelings hurt some.

I do love the idea of only H and I getting to experience the actual first moments of our child's life.

I'm in the same boat, she will respect my decision but I know she would like to be there

iam3jenn · September 2013

@HappyFeet34 I agree with the low tolerance for pain. I feel the same way. As far as during the actual labor, probably just DH. I love my mom dearly, but I think I will want it to be just DH, me and baby. (Need to get KU first!)

Milagros315 · September 2013

Just my husband. I used to think that I would want my mom or my sister in the room too because they're better at helping me control my anxiety. My H was awesome in the recovery room after my surgery so now I know that I'll be fine with just him.

AppleGrapeMSTK · September 2013

I had Mom, MIL, and DD in the the waiting room, and only DH was with me during the actual delivery. I was induced with DS, so everyone knew when to come to the hospital. I'm glad I had people to talk to while I waited for all the meds to kick in because I was there for 36 hours, but it became this huge event.

I might have DD in the room, if she would like. We gave her that option last time, too, but she got nervous. Because she is adopted, we try to make sure she feels like an active member of the family in every way possible.

Daisylola11 · September 2013

I feel pretty confident that I can go med free, once i take classes and practice other forms of relieving pain, but we'll see..... Yes we all need to get KU first lol

Daisylola11 · September 2013

I guess I'm just going to feel bad that my MIL has been to all of her grand kids births (5) and I want to keep it between me and SO, we get along so I'm sure she'll understand

janda426 · September 2013

I go back and forth on this a lot. Obviously MH, and if anyone else were to be there it'd be my mom. I know without a doubt shell be the one I lean on during my entire pregnancy with questions and venting and such seeing as she had 9. H will be a wonderful source of emotional support and foot rubs but he obviously doesn't know much about pregnancy lol

Daisylola11 · September 2013

janda426 said:

I go back and forth on this a lot. Obviously MH, and if anyone else were to be there it'd be my mom. I know without a doubt shell be the one I lean on during my entire pregnancy with questions and venting and such seeing as she had 9. H will be a wonderful source of emotional support and foot rubs but he obviously doesn't know much about pregnancy lol

Yeah I do worry about SO flipping out a bit! It would be our first so new experience for everyone

galv0515 · September 2013

Definitely only my husband!

Daisylola11 · September 2013

NachoBelley said:

When I was younger, i had to videotape my SIL birthing my nephew, and thought..how is she comfortable with this?!?! I'm not....

Oh wow, did she ask around to see who could do it, or asked you personally?

Idk if I would like to see a video of me in labor from all angles lol

LaDyBostonRN · September 2013

IDK. I want DH and my BFF who is a nurse like me. I go back and forth between the idea of my mother there. I guess I'll just wait to get KU first. Def not MIL or SIL. But right after I'd love to have them all visit.

Tweeks23 · September 2013

With my first I had my DH and my mom. DH was so nervous and I didn't want him looking below the waist so I needed my mom there to hold my leg. After 12 hrs of labor and pushing for 2, we decided on a c-sec b/c he wouldn't come down. With my second he was a repeat c-sec so DH came with and my mom waited right outside the OR and heard his first cry.

Daisylola11 · September 2013

LaDyBostonRN said:

IDK. I want DH and my BFF who is a nurse like me. I go back and forth between the idea of my mother there. I guess I'll just wait to get KU first. Def not MIL or SIL. But right after I'd love to have them all visit.

It's nice that you are a nurse, but also agree it would be nice to have a nurse friend there too, specially if you want a certain birth they can be there to voice your plan and keep u up to date in what's going on

abbyful · September 2013

Same as baby #1: Just DH.

My hospital has a policy that you can only have 2 of "your people". We were considering hiring a doula, but decided against it, so it was just DH that was non-hospital staff.

I did NOT want my mother there. I love her dearly, but she can be high strung, and I didn't want any more tension than necessary! (And she lives 3 hrs away, so luckily it wasn't too much of an issue.)

A couple people above mentioned video-taping, in most hospitals it's not allowed anymore. No video or pictures once pushing starts. (Liability reasons, if they screw up, they don't want video evidence.)

AllyTales · September 2013

Depending on how many I can have in.. hoping 3.

husband, mom and best friend.

JulieSmiles · September 2013

I will probably only have my DH. I may have my mom, but I'm not sure if I would want her there or not. I will probably make a last minute decision.

Jasperk23 · September 2013

byegurlbye said:

I had a c-section so I could only have MH in the room but I would have liked my twin there. I was there for her son's birth and got to cut the cord

byegurlbye
My twin will definitely be within shouting distance. I couldn't imagine it otherwise.

ETA: I seriously doubt I could get away with otherwise.

JulieSmiles · September 2013

Same as baby #1: Just DH.

My hospital has a policy that you can only have 2 of "your people". We were considering hiring a doula, but decided against it, so it was just DH that was non-hospital staff.

I did NOT want my mother there. I love her dearly, but she can be high strung, and I didn't want any more tension than necessary! (And she lives 3 hrs away, so luckily it wasn't too much of an issue.)

A couple people above mentioned video-taping, in most hospitals it's not allowed anymore. No video or pictures once pushing starts. (Liability reasons, if they screw up, they don't want video evidence.)

Can I ask where you delivered? If I remember right, you said we were from the same area. I've began thinking about hospitals but have no idea where would be the best one.

Amy+Ryan · September 2013

I just want DH and a doula this time. Last time it was only DH but he's way to emotional and I need someone who is no nonsense and wont let the Dr.'s tell us what to do if it's not necessary.

abbyful · September 2013

JulieSmiles said:

Same as baby #1: Just DH.

My hospital has a policy that you can only have 2 of "your people". We were considering hiring a doula, but decided against it, so it was just DH that was non-hospital staff.

I did NOT want my mother there. I love her dearly, but she can be high strung, and I didn't want any more tension than necessary! (And she lives 3 hrs away, so luckily it wasn't too much of an issue.)

A couple people above mentioned video-taping, in most hospitals it's not allowed anymore. No video or pictures once pushing starts. (Liability reasons, if they screw up, they don't want video evidence.)
Can I ask where you delivered? If I remember right, you said we were from the same area. I've began thinking about hospitals but have no idea where would be the best one.

I'm in Kansas City. I delivered at Liberty Hospital and I was very happy with them, I'll deliver there again for future baby #2. (Dr. Billharz is awesome!)

starlight0412 · September 2013

Dh and MIL.

CopperPoppy · September 2013

As much as I love my mom and am so close to her, I would possibly want her there, but DH says absolutely not. The more that I think about it, the more certain I am that I only want him there. I get overwhelmed easily and even though my mom deescalates me better than DH, I think it's gotta be just the two of us.

Rosebud2587 · September 2013

When DD was born DH and my mom were in the room the whole time. Honestly I could have had 50 people in the room looking at me in labor butt naked and not have cared. Being in labor you loose all sense of modesty.

JulieSmiles · September 2013

JulieSmiles said:

Same as baby #1: Just DH.

My hospital has a policy that you can only have 2 of "your people". We were considering hiring a doula, but decided against it, so it was just DH that was non-hospital staff.

I did NOT want my mother there. I love her dearly, but she can be high strung, and I didn't want any more tension than necessary! (And she lives 3 hrs away, so luckily it wasn't too much of an issue.)

A couple people above mentioned video-taping, in most hospitals it's not allowed anymore. No video or pictures once pushing starts. (Liability reasons, if they screw up, they don't want video evidence.)
Can I ask where you delivered? If I remember right, you said we were from the same area. I've began thinking about hospitals but have no idea where would be the best one.

I'm in Kansas City. I delivered at Liberty Hospital and I was very happy with them, I'll deliver there again for future baby #2. (Dr. Billharz is awesome!)

He has delivered several of my friends babies. I am keeping Liberty hospital in my top choices.

WolFox · September 2013

I'd want just DH and my doula. DEFINITELY not the MIL and not even my mom. My mom has been holding herself together okay, but she's definitely ready for grand-babies. I could just imagine her grinning her face off in excitement, waiting for the baby to come while I'm screaming in pain.... and then I'd have to hit her. Nobody wants that.

Swede25 · September 2013

I went in on a Friday night to be induced and the following day my parents, brother, and my sister with my 3 nephews came by the hospital. It was shortly after I had gotten my epidural, so I was pain-free and feeling great. They didn't stay in my room the whole time, but would pop in here and there, or my brother and sister would come in and keep me company while DH ran down to grab a bite to eat. We were all under the impression that I wouldn't start pushing until late that evening, but when the doctor checked me again, I had progressed really quickly. I pushed and my son was born in 30 minutes (DH was the only one in the room and it was planned that way).

The funny thing was, after they were done stitching me up and everything, we were spending time as a family of 3 and the nurse popped in asking if it was okay for my mom to come in. I thought they knew my son was born, but apparently not because when she walked in, she first looked at me and asked how I was feeling and what did the doctor say about pushing. I started laughing and pointed over to DH who was holding our son and her jaw dropped and she said, "He's born?!?" Then the fam came in to take a peek at him and left after about 10 minutes. They came back to visit for a bit the next day, but my in-laws had come into town as well. THEY were annoying. My FIL just about busted in the door right when I was trying to get my shirt back on from nursing!

britt6292 · September 2013

HiCan said:

I've struggled with this... I love my mom and am VERY close to her, but part of me only wants my H in there for the *actual delivery*. I know my mom will respect whatever I choose but I can imagine she might get her feelings hurt some.

I do love the idea of only H and I getting to experience the actual first moments of our child's life.

This is how I felt when DS was born. My mom and I are very close and she really wanted to be there but I personally wasn't comfortable with it. Not because I didn't want her to see certain things but because I wanted the first moments of DS's life to be shared between my husband and I. My mom was very understanding but I know she was bummed. Next time she will have DS so it won't be an issue!

marajay6 · September 2013

I just want DH to be there. I know my mom will try to insist on being involved - she was with my brother & SIL for both of their kids. But my mom lives 3.5 hrs away so maybe we won't get a chance to call her and have her there on time...

kramja01 · September 2013

I want DH, my mom, and MIL. I love my mom and DH dearly, but my MIL is a nurse and calm, cool and collected in every situation. My mom is more high strung and DH is not the best when others are in pain (I think he might get nervous).

NYGirl02 · September 2013

Just DH and hopefully a doula if I can convince DH to hire one next time.

beckynsean11 · September 2013

Probably just my hubs. Unless for some reason he's OOT, then my mom.

MelanieAdam0707 · September 2013

For DS my mom asked to be in the room- so I let her. It was more for her than me. It was a good thing though bc there were some complications and I needs all extra hands to massage my arms and legs, get me water&cool cloths and alternate this w my oxygen mask. DH and Mom and nurse were amazing at the finish line.

starsinger17 · September 2013

DH is in the Air Force and we are stationed 3000 miles away from our families so it was just he and I the whole time when I was in labor with DS. While I wish my mom had been able to be there it was really special that it was just the two of us and he was so supportive and amazing I didn't feel like I was missing out not having my mom there.

lest12 · September 2013

Oh man, just DH. I think my mom and sister would both be great, but I don't think I want anyone else seeing me in that state.

I didn't think you could have more than one person, though?

Daisylola11 · September 2013

lest12 said:

Oh man, just DH. I think my mom and sister would both be great, but I don't think I want anyone else seeing me in that state. I didn't think you could have more than one person, though?

My SIL had her mom,dad, sister, MIL and DH in the room! They're Italian and very close family I guess lol to each their own

lest12 · September 2013

Daisylola11 said:

lest12 said:

Oh man, just DH. I think my mom and sister would both be great, but I don't think I want anyone else seeing me in that state.

I didn't think you could have more than one person, though?

My SIL had her mom,dad, sister, MIL and DH in the room! They're Italian and very close family I guess lol to each their own

Ha. We are Italian and trust me, my family is as up each other's asses as you can get... but there is no way my dad is coming in that room!

I might consider my mom, but mostly because she is a nurse and great in any medical situation. If anything even looked like it was going wrong, she'd be all over it.

I guess my family is so close, I think that's part of the reason I'd want it to be me and DH. They're always involved and it won't be any easier when the kid is here... ws might as well have one moment alone!

divinemsbee · September 2013

Probably just H. We're pretty far from our families, and my mom is a 20 hour car ride (or several hours on a plane) from us, so unless she takes off work afound the due date and is already with us, she won't be there. She's actually really level headed even though she can make me nuts, so I wouldn't mind having her around. Plus she enjoys cleaning and ironing. I do know as far as the hospital goes that I don't want a mirror at the foot of the bed and if it can't be moved I'll pack a sheet to put over it in my bag.

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