FFFC

EmilyA724 · September 2013

Too much to quote but a comment about prisoners: I do really love the program in Brazil where prisoners ride bikes to generate electricity for the city

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/10/brazilian-prisoners-cycle_n_1662520.html

tealowl · September 2013

katiewest said:

Talking about criminals, I have absolutely ZERO sympathy for any convicted criminal. I think we waste entirely too much of our tax dollars on housing inmates. Why the hell would some of those people NOT WANT to go back to prison? We give them free cable tv, hot meals every day, a bed to sleep in, exercise equipment, education, jobs, a lot more than some of them could ever manage on their own as a law abiding citizen. I say we go to no A/C, no TV, no working out equipment, no education. Make them REALLY SUFFER so they don't want to come back!!! Why is that so hard for people to understand? Let's get some chain gangs going to clean up all of our litter at least.

And for those who have committed especially heinous crimes, murder, rape, child abuse, and there is super hard evidence and no question they committed the crime, just kill them immediately. Why continue to waste tax payers money on those worthless pieces of human garbage any longer than necessary?

I also don't buy the whole argument that people raised in poverty have no choice than to resort to criminal acts to get by in life. That is bullshit. Anyone that really truly wants a better life for themselves will find a way to make it happen. Period.

Yeah, maybe cable on one TV to be shared with dozens of others. And I'm sure the food isn't 5 star, hot or not. And those beds aren't as comfy as yours. Many prisons don't have job training or GED programs. Isn't going to guarantee you a job.

Some people go back to prison for minor probation offenses.

It's very difficult to find housing and get a job if you are a felon, even if your crime is years old and you've 'paid your dues."

You want people to suffer?? Jesus, that's cruel. So some dude serving a few years for having some weed on him deserves to suffer and be raped? Because that totally happens.

Prison is horrible.

themrsJRD · September 2013

@kramja01 Thanks lady. I love your siggy pic, what a cute doggie!!!!

themrsJRD · September 2013

ozma23 said:

My confession is:

We went to visit DHs childhood best friend who just gave birth to a little girl. When we got in the little one was being fed so we sat and had a drink in the room and chatted. When she was finished she placed the baby on the bed and then the dads aunt and cousin arrive.

A after a few minutes DHs best friend offers for the aunt to hold the baby. We had already been there for almost an hour so we decided to go.

I could tell DH felt kinda hurt that they didn't offer for him to hold the baby, and I'm kinda sad too. Te confession is that it makes me second guess myself and wonder if they think I'd be a bad parent.

Aw. Don't think that about yourself. I'm sure you won't be bad parents!! Maybe they just didn't think about it. And who cares what they think anyway.. lol. :-)

Spookster · September 2013

I get pretty stabby when I see posts or hear people doubting people who "didn't know they were pregnant" (i.e the show). I was one of those people. I lived it. Don't tell me I was in denial about what was going on. My body isn't the same as yours and I had no symptoms. I have to back out of threads because it just makes me ragey.

I also got real tired of people telling me I should go on the show. No bitch, living it once was enough. Hence the reason I buy HPT's in bulk now, I test every week regardless of where I am in my cycle. I will not have 8 weeks to process bringing a child into the world again. It's stressful, and scary.

ETA: This thread is filled with a lot of things that give me the sads, and I wish I could hug everyone of you that is hurting and has been hurt.

SmurfyLite · September 2013

@spookster Wow! That's crazy! I can't imagine how stressful that would be. I swear, 36 weeks of preperation was barely enough for me. And I don't blame you for getting stabby about that.

themrsJRD · September 2013

Spookster said:

I get pretty stabby when I see posts or hear people doubting people who "didn't know they were pregnant" (i.e the show). I was one of those people. I lived it. Don't tell me I was in denial about what was going on. My body isn't the same as yours and I had no symptoms. I have to back out of threads because it just makes me ragey.

I also got real tired of people telling me I should go on the show. No bitch, living it once was enough. Hence the reason I buy HPT's in bulk now, I test every week regardless of where I am in my cycle. I will not have 8 weeks to process bringing a child into the world again. It's stressful, and scary.

ETA: This thread is filled with a lot of things that give me the sads, and I wish I could hug everyone of you that is hurting and has been hurt.

I didn't know that. I know it must have been difficult to process. It's sort of fascinating to me (as someone who has never experienced it). Not to pry, but do you ever/have you ever written about it in your blog?

It's very rude of people to try to pressure you into going on the TV show though. I don't blame you one bit for resisting that.

Spookster · September 2013

@themrsJRD I have done snippets here and there but I have never posted the whole thing.

MandiNewMommy · September 2013

Someone posted in my Month board about still have BFP test from our babies who are now two. I am guilty! Kinda gross if you really think about it, but I can't throw it away!

My real confession the little girl I am babysitting drives me nuts. She is four and is really just a brat...I was hoping things would die down once she was use to being here but nope seems to be getting worse. Lord help me!

I got one more. AF came today. I was very disappointed. At the same time it is only cycle one and I am getting married next weekend so cheers at least I can drink!!

EmeJay · September 2013

Reading the UO and FFFC threads make me realise just how much I'm thankful for my parents, my teachers, my community and my culture for making me a decent human being with an open mind, a kind heart and some sense of equality.

If you are offended by this - This was my sole purpose.

Pintobean39 · September 2013

MeatandBandP said:

Pintobean39 said:

Talking about criminals, I have absolutely ZERO sympathy for any convicted criminal. I think we waste entirely too much of our tax dollars on housing inmates. Why the hell would some of those people NOT WANT to go back to prison? We give them free cable tv, hot meals every day, a bed to sleep in, exercise equipment, education, jobs, a lot more than some of them could ever manage on their own as a law abiding citizen. I say we go to no A/C, no TV, no working out equipment, no education. Make them REALLY SUFFER so they don't want to come back!!! Why is that so hard for people to understand? Let's get some chain gangs going to clean up all of our litter at least.

And for those who have committed especially heinous crimes, murder, rape, child abuse, and there is super hard evidence and no question they committed the crime, just kill them immediately. Why continue to waste tax payers money on those worthless pieces of human garbage any longer than necessary?

I also don't buy the whole argument that people raised in poverty have no choice than to resort to criminal acts to get by in life. That is bullshit. Anyone that really truly wants a better life for themselves will find a way to make it happen. Period.
Agree!!!

When what's his face (my brain really doesn't work sometimes) committed suicide the other day I was thinking good less money we have to spend on supporting his psycho ass.

When I worked I remember I use to get bills all the time from the hospital because a prisoner kept trying to commit suicide. It cost the taxpayers thousands of dollars every week because this guy tried to kill himself every week for months. He never succeeded. Prisoners would do anything for a ride somewhere .... And taxpayers are paying for it! Make them earn their keep and pay their own bills. If you want to attempt suicide every week pay for it like the rest of us do.

What does that mean? I'm so
confused by this.

I use to work for a govt entity. I was the comptroller and I would get money every month from, property taxes, sales taxes, etc. I also use to have to pay for road repair, prisoners, judicial system, etc.

Anyway the jails and other entities would send over bills for expenses
that the prisoners incurred and I'd have to approve to be paid. They got a free ride for healthcare. We use to joke if you are having a heart attack commit a crime, its free that way.

ETA: I'm not sure if I answered your question. Does that make sense?

themrsJRD · September 2013

@Spookster Craziness. Well at least now it won't sneak up on you again. Sorry you went through it but you seem like great mom and you are super sweet!!

NYGirl02 · September 2013

I'm sorry to all the people who have posted such difficult things in this thread. My gross, TMI confession? I prefer to poop naked.

Jasperk23 · September 2013

MandiNewMommy Congratulations on the wedding! Hope it all goes amazingly.

Spookster · September 2013

themrsJRD said:

@Spookster Craziness. Well at least now it won't sneak up on you again. Sorry you went through it but you seem like great mom and you are super sweet!!

@themrsJRD I pee on ALL thingssssssssssssss! seriously sometimes I think I am overkilling it, POAS every week then I just remember that I don't want another experience like that. Thanks

I do my best to be kind, some days though it's just not in the deck of cards I am dealing with. Ha

beckynsean11 · September 2013

NYGirl02 said:

I'm sorry to all the people who have posted such difficult things in this thread. My gross, TMI confession? I prefer to poop naked.

LOL, I like to unhook my bra, I have no idea why.

TeeJ526 · September 2013

beckynsean11 said:

NYGirl02 said:

I'm sorry to all the people who have posted such difficult things in this thread. My gross, TMI confession? I prefer to poop naked.

LOL, I like to unhook my bra, I have no idea why.

Oh... I thought I was the only one, but I have to add that I only do this at home. There's just something about having your pants on while pooping... It doesn't feel freeing. I think I understand the bra thing too. It just feels more relaxing.

jcsumm0 · September 2013

katiewest said:

EmeJay said:

But I'll adress the bolded. It is SUCH a privileged statement. If you really think that every single person that have commited a crime ENJOYS it or have deliberatly CHOSEN to do so, then you probably never ventured out of your lollypop bubble.

You think that kids that are raised in poverty, have the tools to make the decision to make a better life for themselves? With no food on the table, or thugs after their family ... It's not always like the movies you know.

I just can't.

No I don't think that kids who are raised in poverty have the tools to make a better life for themselves. But once you are an adult you can make your own decisions and take accountability for your actions. And I don't think every person who commits a crime enjoys it but it WAS a deliberate decision. They can however make a deliberate decision to not commit a crime and be a productive member of society. I have never accidentally committed a crime. Now the mental health problem in this country is another matter entirely and that is not what I am referencing.

So a kid who has no tools to make a better life is going to magically know how to do it once they turn 18? Does. not. compute.

[Deleted User] · September 2013

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[Deleted User] · September 2013

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Rocknroll64 · September 2013

@Emejay - I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to watch friends who were due around the same time as you go through milestones that you don't get too. It sucks and you feel cheated.

@beckynsean11 - Big hugs to you friend! That must be so difficult. I'm so sorry.

Jasperk23 · September 2013

katiewest said:

@IronEgg Why do you presume I had someone in my life to teach me those things? Yes it is true that I was fortunate enough to have a family who paid for me to go to college, but the money they paid did not automatically buy my degree and guarantee me a decent job so that I can support myself afterwards. I had to work hard to earn all of that myself. Obviously having a support system makes things easier but DH's parents did not give him the first penny to go to college, so he didn't. He also did not have school counselors to tell him about student loan options, so he was clueless. He was in a dead end job, hating life, and decided one day he wanted something better for himself so he enlisted in the military and now he makes more money than I do and I have three college degrees. He works his butt off and is good at his job and proud of himself for having the drive and gumption to make his own opportunities in life. I'm not naive enough to think it is easy and magical that when you turn 18 you all of a sudden know what to do with yourself, it took DH until he was 21 to decide to enlist, but I'm also not making excuses for people who take the easy way out and blame their criminal activities on their upbringing. There is a much larger social issue in this country that cannot be addressed just on a familial level, it needs to be addressed on a cultural level.

Parents not paying for college =/= growing up in poverty amidst crime.

I agree with PP that your view on this seems to be extremely black and white, and that can be very dangerous.

tealowl · September 2013

FFFC - I love how FFFC is so diverse. Half of it is a bunch of bullshit about how all criminals are horrible and should suffer and be put to death, so us elite privilaged people can sleep soundly at night...and the other half is girls who shit naked.

I like you guys.

beckynsean11 · September 2013

This is all I'm gonna say about the prison shit. I have a friend that's incarcerated right now for murder. It was not premeditated or intentional, but it happened. If it had been me in his situation, I'm almost certain that I would have made the same mistake. I assure you his life in prison has not been easy or fun.

[Deleted User] · September 2013

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EmeJay · September 2013

beckynsean11 said:

This is all I'm gonna say about the prison shit. I have a friend that's incarcerated right now for murder. It was not premeditated or intentional, but it happened. If it had been me in his situation, I'm almost certain that I would have made the same mistake. I assure you his life in prison has not been easy or fun.

Yeah, I bet if your friend's parents would have payed for college, it would have never happened.

[Deleted User] · September 2013

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beckynsean11 · September 2013

EmeJay said:

beckynsean11 said:

This is all I'm gonna say about the prison shit. I have a friend that's incarcerated right now for murder. It was not premeditated or intentional, but it happened. If it had been me in his situation, I'm almost certain that I would have made the same mistake. I assure you his life in prison has not been easy or fun.

Yeah, I bet if your friend's parents would have payed for college, it would have never happened.

His parents did pay for his education. I still think of him as a good person too, gasp!

[Deleted User] · September 2013

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EmeJay · September 2013

Seriously, this subject + the depression subject in the article thread + the slut-shaming of young girl in the dress code thread makes me all ....

[Deleted User] · September 2013

My FFFC:

Last September DH and I bought our first home. When the holidays rolled around, we were so excited to buy/decorate our first Christmas tree.

Well... it is still standing, and decorated.

DH didn't feel like taking it down so he moved it to a guest room. Then before his family came to visit last weekend he moved it to the basement.

There is no point in taking it apart now..

janda426 · September 2013

I'm sure I'm amongst good company when I say this, but I LIVE for that moment when you unhook your bra and your boobs can just fly free.

Another one- we lied and told H parents (who we were staying with while we had a pipe burst) that they put the hot water heater back in but really they didn't and we'd rather take cold showers until its fixed then keep staying with his parents any longer. We've been home 3 days and the cold showers are totally worth it.

Also I'm babysitting right now and have taken like 30 pics of their cat. Seriously. Look at this cat, she's so photogenic. WHY IS THE PICTURE UPSIDE DOWN. Lame

mmb248 · September 2013

IronEgg said:

Sigh. I have another confession. I am white and middle class. I grew up going to church, with hot meals ready, new clothes and books, and lessons on morals and ethics. It was awesome. Then I turned 12 and my mom got addicted to cocaine, my dad divorced her, and she would leave for days at a time. I never knew where she was or when she would be home. If she went grocery shopping I had to cook for myself, but if she didn't I had to try to go to a friends house. I put myself to bed and got myself up. And I tried my best to keep it secret. Even with that, when I first stared teaching, I JUST DIDN'T GET IT. Why don't these kids know better, do their homework, listen, make good choices, blah blah blah. Then I taught at a "title 1" (59% of students on free/reduced lunch) and my worldview changed. I was SOOOO fucking judey at first. I thought the kids were dirty, rude, and the parents didn't care. Then I got to know them- some of these people are doing te BEST THEY CAN. They can't magically make money. Some are selling drugs to feed their kids, some kids are stealing to eat. The kids will do whatever it takes to survive. They don't do their homework because their parents can't read. Their parents can't learn to read right now because they are busy working 70 hours a week to pay rent. These are just examples, but seriously. Stop thinking people KNOW how to fix their problems or that they should be punished for being born into poverty. It took me 23 years to stop judging what I didn't know. I was soooo ignorant. I am a better person and teacher now, thanks to these kids and their parents.

tl;dr - I like IronEgg's ability to see things differently, some people just don't get it, my dad did and he rocks.

@IronEgg, I love that teaching these kids changed your view. Some people will never understand the complete poverty that some kids live in. I had a math teacher who called a girl up to the front of the class and in front of everyone gave her a lesson in basic hygiene and suggested she pick up some deodorant on the way home. Um, WTF? This girl is wearing two different shoes and you think in her world there's $3 laying around for a stick of deodorant?

The proudest I have ever been of my dad was when he retired from a pretty prominent position and started driving a school bus. His route was the worst part of town and he thought that he might be the only positive influence in those kids' lives, so he was going to make the most of it.

My top 3 favorite things that he did:
1. He didn't allow them to refer to girls as "hoes" so they all called each other "hobo." A boy explained that, "Cause you won't let us call the girls hoes, so we started calling them hobos, but a hobo can be a girl or a boy." And a girl said, "Yeah, so now the boys know that we're equal, if they call us hobos, they're a hobo too." My dad said he wasn't sure it was the best outcome, but at least it put the girls on an even level.

2. One kid got suspended from riding the bus for a week because his mother got on the bus during a meth-fueled rage and caused some problems. My dad said it wasn't fair to kick the kid off the bus and refused to work that week. Instead, he followed the bus to the kid's bus stop, picked him up, and they had breakfast before my dad dropped him off at school.

3. During a district staff meeting, the study hall teacher was complaining about kids sleeping in class, and named a few of my dad's kids as repeat offenders. My dad pointed out that school was the only time the kids were ever in a place that was safe enough to sleep. He suggested if it was such a problem for her, she should go to that kid's house and see if she felt safe sleeping in a house full of abusive addicts who beat you, burned you, and tried to rape you. Plus, the kid stayed awake for math, science, and english, who cares about study hall??

My dad passed away 3 months after he started driving the bus and after he died, we got a letter from every single kid on his bus route saying how much they missed him and they were going to do good in school so they could get jobs and do cool stuff like Mr. M did.

So, uh, thanks for reading my book, I'm going to stop crying now.

Spookster · September 2013

No free flying tits here, I'd give innocents nightmares and black eyes. b-(

beckynsean11 · September 2013

@mmb248 that brought me to tears! It's so wonderful that your dad was able to do that for these kids.

Jasperk23 · September 2013

mmb248

This honestly gave me goosebumps. I'm sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds absolutely amazing.

[Deleted User] · September 2013

mmb248 Thank you so much for sharing that. I wish I could have met your dad. There needs to be more people like that in the world.

Spookster · September 2013

@mmb248 - In tears at work = don't give a fuck. Your Dad sounded like an amazing man, you should be proud of him! Too many people become desensitized and forget how to feel empathy for kids and people these days. I believe to those kids, your Dad was their hero. That's special. (((Hugs)))

jcsumm0 · September 2013

@mmb248 I am tearing up. That is just awesome.

Pintobean39 · September 2013

@mmb248 your dad sounded awesome!!! I cried reading that.

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