Other women get jealous about twins? Is that a thing?

Mrs. Alice · August 2013

I think the jealousy in this case likely stems from the attention that twin pregnancies and babies get. Before I had my twins I had a m/c and then a month or two later a family member got pregnant with spontaneous twins. Meanwhile I was grieving my m/c and taking longer than I expected TTC. I won't lie that I was slightly jealous of her. Not so much because she was having twins, but that she was pregnant and had lots of attention. I got pregnant again on my own with my twins shortly after hers were born, so any jealousy I felt quickly went away. I've gotten the "wish I had twins" and "jealous of you" comments and I would definitely take those over the negative. However I don't sugar coat it to people and tell that twins are fun but they really hard work.

Jen0204 · August 2013

BananaPancake said:

Okay, this post is weird. It's like watching a skinny, rich girl wonder aloud to her skinny, rich friends how any fat, poor girl could ever want to be skinny and rich. Seriously? YES, people are jealous. I would expect the majority of women on this board, of all places, to understand how much it hurts to want a baby, let alone two. Having two babies at once, regardless of the trials it takes to get there, is like winning the lottery. I never complain to my friends about how hard it is to hard two at once and I never offer anything but support when someone tells me they've always wanted twins. It really IS a double blessing, and it's truly amazing. When I see the pain in the eyes of my friends who are struggling with IF, or who have spouses who don't want any more kids, I know that my having twins is doubly hard to watch. I'd sit on bedrest the rest of my life to have the experience I've had.

What an odd comparison. So having twins = being a skinny, rich girl and having a singleton = being fat and poor? Or are you referring just to people struggling with IF?

I LOVE having twins. Love, love, love it, wouldn't trade it for the world, think I am blessed and don't want an ounce of sympathy for having twins. When people say how hard it must be I always reply that the first 6 months were extremely tough but since then it's been much easier and it's truly amazing. But I also know a girl who I went to high school with who has twins about 6 months younger and she hates having twins. She feels stuck in the house, feels like she was cheated out of a "normal" pregnancy and feels like neither of her children get enough time and attention. She loves her kids but doesn't love that they're twins (for what it's worth, I think her babies were much more fussy and much worse sleepers then mine). She struggled with IF and still has these feelings, and that's okay. Some people love having twins, some don't. Just because I love having twins and feel like it's the best thing ever doesn't mean that it's wrong for other people to feel differently.

lwatkins12 · August 2013

My sister has twins and I never in million years would've said that I hoped to have them but here I am pregnant with twins. My husband is so excited but I still think about how hard it was with one baby/toddler and how challenging its going to be with two. My son is 19 now. I can't imagine the challenges and patience it must take for you ladies with young children or teenagers.

JuliaAndPete · August 2013

Oh my good Lord! You and your sister had twins! Wow!!

macchiatto · August 2013

Jen0204, that was very well said.

MTipler22 · August 2013

I mostly get the... "Ohhh........ yeahhh.... I definitely would NOT want twins. Sorry girl!" comment. Which instantly rubs me wrong but yet inside, I'm smiling. Having twins is awesome. Difficult, yes... awesome though? Absolutely. I like that every single day I'm doing something that a lot of other people do not get to do. I am taking care of TWO babies and they are doing well. I feel pride and a sense of accomplishment each and every day. Would I want to get pregnant with twins again? Probably not because of the pregnancy itself and $$$$. haha.

meechellebelle · August 2013

An acquaintance of mine had a son and when she found out I was having twins she was incredibly jealous and flat out said "ugh I wanted twins" instead of telling me congratulations. Some people are selfish and want the attention and they know twins would give them that. This girl constantly complains about how hard one is so I honestly can't imagine her having twins.
And like a PP mentioned- I also hate that my mom friends of singletons feel like I can't relate to them. Just because I have two doesn't mean I have it so much harder. Everytime they try to vent about their baby they always end it with "but you have two so that must be way more difficult." Not necessarily! My two chill babies may be easier than your one colicky baby. You can still talk to me! lol

JTA2426 · September 2013

The first thing I said when I found out about the twins was "oh, I always wanted twins"- which is true! I just never thought I would get them. Like anything else, my pregnancy and these first few weeks have had their pros and cons. I LOVE having twins, but I had them at 34 weeks and was definitely cheated out of the "normal" pregnancy and delivery. I also sometimes feel like they don't get all the attention I could give them if I just had one at a time. But yes, I can say that before these two I definitely experienced jealousy and curiosity about twins and high order multiples, and I am even educated about the risks- I am a NICU nurse!

JuliaAndPete · September 2013

@maitaibeth never be afraid to tell people it's none of their business. Pregnancy is a very personal thing and people are complete morons when it comes to this subject. Without being mean, telling someone to mind their own beeswax is completely warranted.

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