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These kids are about to make me...

SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
in Blended Families
Lose my mind! Seriously! Tonight DS took one look at his dinner and said no I'm not eating that. It was chili I made with fresh tomatoes from a family members garden. He loves chili. He has eaten this same recipe over and over and we have never had issue. He was just being a brat.

I told him to take at least four bites and then he could be done. He refused. I told him he could sit at the table then until he decided to eat. He smirked at me and said that was fine he did not care if he had to sit there until bed time. I said fine, but you have to eat something by then or you will have it for breakfast. In hindsight I really shouldn't have said that. He sat there and whined about how he didn't like chili for an hour and a half until it was time to shower and go to bed. Not one bite was taken.

Now he is in bed and I am wondering if I should really serve him chili for breakfast since he called me on my bluff. It seems so mean, but I hate to let him think he can act like that. I know he is having a hard time worth the recent change in our custody schedule, he is only seeing his dad one day a week at this time and I think he is just taking it out on me by trying to control dinner time

DD has been not much better today. Melt downs and sass talk.

Have I mentioned that I hate this change in timeshare? Ugh. Not that I mind having them so often but they are clearly having adjustment pains. Its making me want to tear my hair out.
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Re: These kids are about to make me...

  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    I would also serve it for breakfast.

    If you feel like being VERY nice, you could scramble it in some eggs. But I am not usually that nice. :)

    Sorry the kids are being difficult. Mine have days like this too. 
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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    Give it to him for breakfast. Tell him at some point when he isn't in a power struggle with you that you understand the change is hard and that it will take an adjustment period for everyone. Tell him that you both love him and maybe suggest to your XH and he could make some one on one time with each kid to help get them through this. Sorry you had such a crappy night. Crappy parenting days are exhausting.
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    I did serve it for breakfast. He didn't touch it. His dad comes back today and is bringing him Subway at school for lunch. I'm sure he's gonna be hungry. I kind of hate that after all that he is getting a 'treat' for lunch, but I can't dictate what his dad gives him on his one day a week. Hopefully next week will be a bit easier. I feel bad they are struggling with the adjustment, but there is a fine line between being sympathetic and letting them walk all over me because I feel bad for them.
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  • SueBearSueBear member
    I think you did the right thing.  I know it is hard, but your initial request (eat 4 bites) was not unreasonable. 
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  • IlumineIlumine member
    I am a hardass regarding food battles.  And you did great.  

    But for the future, now that he knows that you mean business, do not tie the food into breakfast the next day.  He really really really needs to have a full stomach in school to focus and do his best and you are cutting you are spiting your face.

    Going to bed hungry, not getting dessert and only water on more than one occasion will eventually sink in.  

    So will not engaging in the battle of wills. Kids do this powerplay because they want the win AND to make mom/dad squirm.  So if you show no fear, no anger, no sadness, no manipulation, no negotiations, you are taking away the positiveness of the war.  

    DD knows the rules about eating the meal in front of her.  She knows she has a timer to get her food down.  She knows the consequences of not eating her age appropriate amount of food.  And life, at least on this battlefront, is peaceful.  


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