Breastfeeding in Public

amhah09 · September 2013

poru said:
I do think there are some women who are a little too pro NIP. I couldn't use a cover for my son because he would squirm and pop off every 3 seconds. I also had a short supply and would have to re stimulate to encourage multiple let downs. So frequently my nursing sessions were with an infant that popped off and exposed my boob regularly and I had to manually massage my breast to keep the flow going. Needless to say I was not comfortable NIP. I envied my friends that could just whip it out and do a quick 5 minute feed right at the table without most people noticing. But I once excused myself to go nurse somewhere more private, and I was given a really hard time by the other women for not just NIP -- which I thought was a little cruel. Just as it's OK for you to NIP, it's OK for me to choose not to. I personally did not like that type of attention since I wasn't that incognito.

ETA: spelling.

You get no judgment from me on this matter. I don't mind if women prefer to breastfeed privately. As I stated above I have respect for women who can say it's just not for them/they're uncomfortable with it. I don't have respect for those that say they don't like when OTHER women NIP because of x/y/z reasons which are usually just attacking those women.

2010weddinggal · September 2013

@emmabobemma I think I might creepy internet love you, hehe

tbmadeamistake · September 2013

I agree with a PP who said that it doesn't matter how/where you feed your child, if they are fed and loved you are doing a good job. Women used to go into solitary confinement, for lack of a better term, when they were pregnant and started to show. It was unseemly to be seen in pregnant. It took a long time for that to subside, but now pregnant ladies were bikinis at the beach and end up on magazine covers! In time, NIP will be the same. I don't agree with oversexualizing breasts, but they are considered sexual organs (and, TMI, mine sure are connected to that part of my life), so I don't think you can dismiss that argument. People need to learn to compartmentalize. When a woman is nursing, they are not being used in a sexual way and showing a bit here or there while you get the baby latched is fine. If a woman is walking around in next to nothing flashing nip for no reason other than to get reactions, that's not ok with me. Breastfeeding is an incredibly personal choice, which everyone makes for different reasons. I don't think we should judge any of those reasons, regardless of whether or not we agree with them.

sdo_082989 · September 2013

DD wouldn't latch but I EP'd for nearly 7 months. I never even think twice if I see someone NIP. My grandmother gets all up in arms over someone nursing in the same room as her unless they are well covered and even then she thinks you should still leave the room. It drives me insane.

strawberrytree · September 2013

I NIP everywhere without a cover- restaurants, coffee shops, the mall, the park, the library, kiddie playplaces, on the bus once, even in the grocery store while pushing a cart (that wasn't too fun). *Gasp* I even still nurse my 15-month-old toddler in public. I'm not flashing my nips around. You can't see anything you couldn't already see if I was wearing a low-cut shirt. I used private rooms or a blanket to cover up while he latched on for the first few months until I got good at it. If you wanted to see my nipple, you'd have to be sitting right next to me staring intently and trying to see it...which is just creepy.

If you don't want to nurse your baby in public, that's fine, you don't have to. If you prefer to use a cover, that's fine too. If you pump a bottle to use every time you go out in public, that's a pain in the ass, but also fine. I don't care how you feed your baby in public as long as he's loved and fed, so let me feed mine in a judgement-free zone too please.

BTW, in 15 months of nursing in public, the only time anyone has every said anything to me was my first time, when he was 2 weeks old. We were at a restaurant and I was struggling to hold him in a comfortable position without my nursing pillow for the first time. An older woman, 50ish, came up to me and said, "Good for you. You are an amazing mom to be able to give your baby what he needs when he needs it. Keep it up and don't let anybody get you down!" That comment gave me so much confidence. Part of the reason I am so open about nursing my son in public is that I hope pregnant or new moms who are nervous about breastfeeding in public are able to see other moms doing it and think "Hey! It really IS a totally normal thing to do!" and pass on some of the confidence that woman gave me when I needed it.

Rrrrrachel · September 2013

If you want to use a cover for your own comfort, more power to you. If you want to use a cover for someone else's comfort like your il or even a stranger, more power to you. If you don't want to use a cover, all the better because you're feeding your baby AND helping educate people.

I think it's weird how many people here can remember specific instances of women nursing around them. It doesn't even register with me.

speechie517 · September 2013

Did some research and was disappointed to find out that my state is one of only 2 that has no legislation re: protection for women breastfeeding in public. Bummer.

Rrrrrachel · September 2013

She may not have meant it tone racist, but it certainly is. Most racist comments aren't intended to be racist.

sueann911 · September 2013

lrachelle80 said:

Lauraperez413 said:

I agree this isn't Africa nor do I want to see it while eating dinner with my family. Sometimes I wonder if those women need attention much?

Well. What a racist fucking thing to say. Totally awful.

Annnnddd the dumbfuckery of April 2014 shows up again. This place is a shit show of stupidity. I'm looking at you @lauraperez413.

The comment about not wanting to offend your husbands coworkers or whatever because of his job, makes me want to never vote for anyone like that. Because I'm willing to bet you wouldn't give a crap if your husband wasn't an elected official or worked for someone who is. That's just shitty that you would feel that way. It's puts a negative spin on BF because you're afraid of how it will look to others around you. It's the exact same negative opinion as NIP because it makes others uncomfortable.

knotty-girl · September 2013

@ Poru

Related to the Africa comment (made by another poster)

I said that I thought the comment was offensive and ignorant. I think it did offend a lot of people because the tone (which admittedly can be misinterpreted in type) and context seemed to equate Africa and NIP with heathenism or being uncivilized. That offends me. But I'll give the poster the benefit of the doubt that they are just an idiot and not a racist.

rockopera · September 2013

(March14 lurker here)

@Lauraperez413 - Problem solved. When you are eating dinner in public, YOU wear a blanket over YOUR head.

Or just don't go out in public because you suck.

ScarlettV · September 2013

knotty-girl said:
@ Poru

Related to the Africa comment (made by another poster)

I said that I thought the comment was offensive and ignorant. I think it did offend a lot of people because the tone (which admittedly can be misinterpreted in type) and context seemed to equate Africa and NIP with heathenism or being uncivilized. That offends me. But I'll give the poster the benefit of the doubt that they are just an idiot and not a racist.

So....their being an idiot makes their ignorant comment ok? Because we are all going to let it slide by saying, "it's cool, she's just dumb."

nicole mackenzie · September 2013

Rrrrrachel said:
She may not have meant it tone racist, but it certainly is. Most racist comments aren't intended to be racist.

She may or may not have intended to be racist, but it was.

Ignorance is not an excuse.

She needs things like this pointed out to her so she will know that it is inappropriate otherwise she will not learn.

knotty-girl · September 2013

@ScarlettV

It was a sarcastic joke. I'm not defending that poster. Like I said, her comment offended me. I even explained why it was offensive. Please re read the entire thread or even the individual post of mine you are referencing.

In the future I vow to use rolly eye emoticons so it doesn't go over anyone's head.

Kelseyl34 · September 2013

amhah09 said:

Kelseyl34 said:
I think it's a personal decision and I don't have a strong opinion either way. However, I was running a birthday party at my art studio with a room of seven year old boys and a woman there was breast feeding without covering up and her boob was exposed without the baby for awhile. I felt that was a little awkward for a bunch of seven year old boys but whatever!
Awkward for the boys because she was breastfeeding or awkward because she was exposed while she wasn't breastfeeding? I'm not sure I'm envisioning this correctly. Was her breast completely exposed for [how long is "awhile"] with no baby attached? Because that might be awkward, yes, but that's not the typical mother breastfeeding in public scenario.

She was digging through her diaper bag for at least a full minute or two with the boob out, that was the awkward part for me, but I don't really care, just found it unusual.

Lauraperez413 · September 2013

It wasn't racist at all in much of Africa women have their boobs out in public its the norm breastfeeding or not. Im not even white so u can put ur race card down.

knotty-girl · September 2013

@Lauraperez413

You don't have to be white to be a racist. Again, ignorance.

Rrrrrachel · September 2013

You're an idiot.

knotty-girl · September 2013

Also please stop trolling.

Serenla · September 2013

Lauraperez413 said:
It wasn't racist at all in much of Africa women have their boobs out in public its the norm breastfeeding or not. Im not even white so u can put ur race card down.

Why, why did you open up your mouth again? This thread was going to die.
Edit, adding.

Lauraperez413 · September 2013

Geez some of yall need to get ur panties out of that bind. It was a comment u don't have to agree with it or try and change my mind.

knotty-girl · September 2013

Also you are the one pulling the "race card" when you say you get a free pass on your comments/behavior because you are not white.

Manda+panda · September 2013

Except, you judge someone for feeding their baby. When you are eating. I'm not going to have my kid eating in a bathroom when they eat solid foods, you don't go to the bathroom to eat, so I'm not going to feed my baby around piss and shit. Don't like it? Don't look. But if some ignorant person said anything, or gave me a dirty look while bf, I would rip my cover off so fast and just look them in the eyes. Yep, I'm an entitled asshole.

nicholssquared · September 2013

Lauraperez413 said:

Geez some of yall need to get ur panties out of that bind. It was a comment u don't have to agree with it or try and change my mind.

I said this in the D13 call out thread, but I'll say it again since you keep saying this.

The argument "I'm entitled to my opinion" doesn't mean shit when your opinion is that a baby should go hungry so your cultured sensitivities aren't offended. Couple that with the stereotypes and generalizations about the entire African continent and you sure as HELL better have something better to back up your position than just, "It's my opinion, you don't have to agree with me."

Rrrrrachel · September 2013

Trust me. I'm not trying to change your mind.

GoldenGibson · September 2013

Lauraperez413 said:
I agree this isn't Africa nor do I want to see it while eating dinner with my family. Sometimes I wonder if those women need attention much?

Mud much?

cfthoct292011 · September 2013

I'm all for it i mean i may feel odd at first but i'll get used to it. I mean if people are against it just pump.

ScarlettV · September 2013

knotty-girl said:
@ScarlettV

It was a sarcastic joke. I'm not defending that poster. Like I said, her comment offended me. I even explained why it was offensive. Please re read the entire thread or even the individual post of mine you are referencing.

In the future I vow to use rolly eye emoticons so it doesn't go over anyone's head.

Yep, yep you're right. I mistook you for being the same poster defending the africa comment. My bad.

amhah09 · September 2013

Just wanted to throw this out there - I wasn't comfortable breastfeeding in public especially without a cover. But my DD hated to be covered and screamed hysterically and it was only attracting more attention. I flew to San Antonio with her when she was like 2 1/2 months old and I learned quickly that I was going to have to adjust to feeding her in public.

CandaceMarie321 · September 2013

I usually find I draw more attention and dirty looks when I use a cover, whereas a loose tee shirt that falls down if my sons let go didn't get a 2nd glance. In fact I've had people looking at even touching the baby's cheek without noticing that I was feeding him.

But each mom should be able to feed their baby however works best for that mom and that baby--be it nursing uncovered in public, nursing at home, or even (gasp) formula!

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