Things never to say to a new mom

beachyma · September 2013

While playing outside with my 4 year old, 2 year old and 6 DAY old, my neighbor across the street came by. First thing he said to me? "I'm tired." I wanted to sock him right in the face. I wanted to tell him never to say that to a nursing mother of a 6 day old. Ever. What are some ridiculous things people have said to you?

beachyma · September 2013

I guess I should have just added this to WTF Wed!!

bendicott7 · September 2013

My all-time favorite is when women get asked, "When are you due?" right after giving birth. Thankfully no one ever said that to me PP or they may have gotten throat punched.

johnson8586 · September 2013

"What's for dinner?"

nnikki10 · September 2013

"Wow you look really tired" ummm ya think I have a newborn douchecanoe

Curls218 · September 2013

"Why are you still wearing maternity pants?"

To be fair it was DH and he meant it in a "your bump is so much smaller now, why are you still wearing those" way but you still don't say that to a woman one week out from giving birth.

amandarins · September 2013

"I don't feel good" Oh, you poor thing. I just had abdominal surgery, a blood clot, I have to give myself shots in the stomach twice per day, my PUPPs has made a comeback and I don't get much sleep nor do I have time to eat a proper meal......I don't give a flying fluck if you have a sore throat.

MrsBiggs2Be · September 2013

"Nap when she naps."

Oh if it were only that simple...

Bunnyfer · September 2013

MrsBiggs2Be said:

"Nap when she naps."

Oh if it were only that simple...

I have only napped when she napped about 3 times...usually DH was home with me...She is currently passed out, and I cannot sleep...to much stuff needs to be done..LOL

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

@amandarins I think our SOs are the same person. He has been b***ing and moaning about a sore throat/cough every day this week. His body hurts, he is tired, etc.

I feel fine after getting four blood transfusions and emergency D&C a month ago! Thanks for asking!

He's been taking Nyquil and passing out every night, so I'm not sure why he's so tired. I however, am still waking up every 90 minutes to feed, change, and burp DD.

I'll also add, my Aunt-in-Law said to me 5 days after giving birth, while looking at my bloated belly. "Is there another one in there??"

Me, "No, they scraped my insides out without any pain meds, so I'm pretty sure they got everything out".

OMG. Wanted to punch her, still kind of do...

PrimRoseMama · September 2013

@amandarins I think our SOs are the same person. He has been b***ing and moaning about a sore throat/cough every day this week. His body hurts, he is tired, etc.

I feel fine after getting four blood transfusions and emergency D&C a month ago! Thanks for asking!

He's been taking Nyquil and passing out every night, so I'm not sure why he's so tired. I however, am still waking up every 90 minutes to feed, change, and burp DD.

I'll also add, my Aunt-in-Law said to me 5 days after giving birth, while looking at my bloated belly. "Is there another one in there??"

Me, "No, they scraped my insides out without any pain meds, so I'm pretty sure they got everything out".

OMG. Wanted to punch her, still kind of do...

Omg I want to punch her for you. What an insensitive assmunch.

amandarins · September 2013

@MrsWahidi what are you doing to protect LO from your DHs germs? I'm so paranoid and worried about this. It's also so damn annoying that he's sick at the start of his 2 days off, which is when we split day and night baby duty and at this point I don't want him near DS. Also, what your Aunt in Law said deserved a kick in the crotch.

11dematosk · September 2013

"Are you getting any sleep?"
What do you think? Feeding every two hours I get tons of sleep!

cinderin · September 2013

amandarins said:

@MrsWahidi what are you doing to protect LO from your DHs germs? I'm so paranoid and worried about this. It's also so damn annoying that he's sick at the start of his 2 days off, which is when we split day and night baby duty and at this point I don't want him near DS. Also, what your Aunt in Law said deserved a kick in the crotch.

My DH got a cold about two weeks ago, but there is really nothing I could do to protect LO from his germs (our house is only 1500 square feet). I just trusted that I was EBF, so LO is getting the protection of my immune system. It worked! LO didn't catch it (even at only about two weeks old). I attribute it to the EBF.

cinderin · September 2013

when we had *just* brought LO home (I don't even think he was a week old) MIL said to me "I can see why people steal babies" while she was holding him and looking at him.

I am already paranoid when I take him out. like I needed to hear that/be reminded!

azzy1206 · September 2013

When my husband asks me "what's wrong?" ......

tanabeans · September 2013

Assmunch

giggle snort!
I have been asked twice when I'm due, while carrying her carseat

tanabeans · September 2013

cinderin said:

amandarins said:

@MrsWahidi what are you doing to protect LO from your DHs germs? I'm so paranoid and worried about this. It's also so damn annoying that he's sick at the start of his 2 days off, which is when we split day and night baby duty and at this point I don't want him near DS. Also, what your Aunt in Law said deserved a kick in the crotch.

My DH got a cold about two weeks ago, but there is really nothing I could do to protect LO from his germs (our house is only 1500 square feet). I just trusted that I was EBF, so LO is getting the protection of my immune system. It worked! LO didn't catch it (even at only about two weeks old). I attribute it to the EBF.

Same here except LO and I both cought his cold

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

@tananeans @cinderin @amandarins I'm really hoping all this talk about bf providing Dd with antibodies is true. We live in an 1100 sq ft condo, so it's hard for them not to have contact.

He is washing his hands a lot. And he's still working a lot during the morning/ day so he only sees us for a couple hours before we all go to sleep.

I don't have it, so I'm hoping she won't either.

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

Oh and the worst part about my AIL is that she's had 5 kids! You'd think she'd remember. I guess her youngest is 27 though, so she must have forgotten.

cinderin · September 2013

MrsWahidi said:

@tananeans @cinderin @amandarins I'm really hoping all this talk about bf providing Dd with antibodies is true. We live in an 1100 sq ft condo, so it's hard for them not to have contact. He is washing his hands a lot. And he's still working a lot during the morning/ day so he only sees us for a couple hours before we all go to sleep. I don't have it, so I'm hoping she won't either.

I definitely think it is true. Feeding an infant the milk of their own species definitely provides multiple benefits. https://kellymom.com/pregnancy/bf-prep/how_breastmilk_protects_newborns/

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

tanabeans said:

amandarins said:

@MrsWahidi what are you doing to protect LO from your DHs germs? I'm so paranoid and worried about this. It's also so damn annoying that he's sick at the start of his 2 days off, which is when we split day and night baby duty and at this point I don't want him near DS. Also, what your Aunt in Law said deserved a kick in the crotch.

My DH got a cold about two weeks ago, but there is really nothing I could do to protect LO from his germs (our house is only 1500 square feet). I just trusted that I was EBF, so LO is getting the protection of my immune system. It worked! LO didn't catch it (even at only about two weeks old). I attribute it to the EBF.
Same here except LO and I both cought his cold

What did you do to treat LO's cold? Did you need to get antibiotics?

PB102012 · September 2013

My Aunt who is a nurse Practioner has repeatedly reminded me that I need to schedule an ultrasound for DD's hips due to her being breech.... I have reminded her that I did schedule it prior to even leaving the hospital.... Ugh. I am not your patient, neither is DD!!

tanabeans · September 2013

I t

MrsWahidi said:

tanabeans said:

cinderin said:

amandarins said:

@MrsWahidi what are you doing to protect LO from your DHs germs? I'm so paranoid and worried about this. It's also so damn annoying that he's sick at the start of his 2 days off, which is when we split day and night baby duty and at this point I don't want him near DS. Also, what your Aunt in Law said deserved a kick in the crotch.

My DH got a cold about two weeks ago, but there is really nothing I could do to protect LO from his germs (our house is only 1500 square feet). I just trusted that I was EBF, so LO is getting the protection of my immune system. It worked! LO didn't catch it (even at only about two weeks old). I attribute it to the EBF.
Same here except LO and I both cought his cold

What did you do to treat LO's cold? Did you need to get antibiotics?

She has a stuffy nose and a cough but no fever so the pediatrician said its probably a viral thing so no antibiotics. I have the vaporizer going and got some saline drops for her nose. I am trying to increase my fluids so we are both well hydrated and hope it passes soon. Her cough seems to have gone away but her breathing is labored

amandarins · September 2013

cinderin said:

amandarins said:

@MrsWahidi what are you doing to protect LO from your DHs germs? I'm so paranoid and worried about this. It's also so damn annoying that he's sick at the start of his 2 days off, which is when we split day and night baby duty and at this point I don't want him near DS. Also, what your Aunt in Law said deserved a kick in the crotch.

My DH got a cold about two weeks ago, but there is really nothing I could do to protect LO from his germs (our house is only 1500 square feet). I just trusted that I was EBF, so LO is getting the protection of my immune system. It worked! LO didn't catch it (even at only about two weeks old). I attribute it to the EBF.

DS is on formula.

So far I've cleaned and covered his hands and wiped his face. I also am taking airborne and zicam with DH, using hand sanitizer/washing hands frequently. I'm gonna have DH sleep in the guest room tonight since DS is in our room. I've also taken over all baby duty and am hanging out in the nursery during feedings.

If anyone else has any tips, please let me know. Also feel free to share how you handled it if your LO has been sick.

cinderin · September 2013

amandarins said:

amandarins said:

@MrsWahidi what are you doing to protect LO from your DHs germs? I'm so paranoid and worried about this. It's also so damn annoying that he's sick at the start of his 2 days off, which is when we split day and night baby duty and at this point I don't want him near DS. Also, what your Aunt in Law said deserved a kick in the crotch.

My DH got a cold about two weeks ago, but there is really nothing I could do to protect LO from his germs (our house is only 1500 square feet). I just trusted that I was EBF, so LO is getting the protection of my immune system. It worked! LO didn't catch it (even at only about two weeks old). I attribute it to the EBF.
DS is on formula. So far I've cleaned and covered his hands and wiped his face. I also am taking airborne and zicam with DH, using hand sanitizer/washing hands frequently. I'm gonna have DH sleep in the guest room tonight since DS is in our room. I've also taken over all baby duty and am hanging out in the nursery during feedings. If anyone else has any tips, please let me know. Also feel free to share how you handled it if your LO has been sick.

Oh, I am sorry. That sucks :-(

ashleyamberRN · September 2013

It's been said, but I think it's important enough to be repeated... "You look tired". Thanks!!! So you're basically saying I look like sh!t... Great.

lydsyjane · September 2013

I hate when LO is wrapped head to toe in bright pink and people refer to her as a "he". For some reason that really bugs me.

CaliforniaDream87 · September 2013

"Oh just put rice in his formula. You'll get plenty of sleep then" BLANK STARE.

My baby is only 3 weeks old. WTF.

TurtleMomma · September 2013

Here are my favorites:

Are you BFing? (What's it to you?)

When is the baby due? (Fuck you)

Did you deliver vaginally? (Again, why?)

Do you have the baby blues/PPD? (Yes I do, fuck you very much but its none of your damn business)

Was he planned? (Fuck you)

Who does he look like, you or DH? (He is a product of sexual reproduction ergo he specifically takes after neither of us due to genetic recombination. In short, he looks like himself, nothing more).

tanabeans · September 2013

TurtleMomma said:
Here are my favorites:

Are you BFing? (What's it to you?)

When is the baby due? (Fuck you)

Did you deliver vaginally? (Again, why?)

Do you have the baby blues/PPD? (Yes I do, fuck you very much but its none of your damn business)

Was he planned? (Fuck you)

).

@TurtleMomma I just have to say I am Internet stalking you, whenever I see you have posted I specifically click to see what gem you have to offer. You never disappoint! Everyone says DD looks exactly like her dad and SIL is constantly comparing her to her kids, they are making me feel like an incubator

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

petey1106 said:
Whenever LO cries my aunt asks "oh honey, what did you eat to give him a tummy ache?" Excuse me, he's a baby. Not every cry means he has a tummy ache. And I eat pretty much the same things everyday. Shut up.
I'm still sick of hearing "oh just wait until..." I will roundhouse kick you in the face.

This! This is what I hate about BF, people attributing every cry to something I ate /me not having enough milk/ not letting her eat enough/ etc.

DD is a month old she's going to cry regardless. She is in charge of when she eats how often and how much, not me.

And when you try to explain new research on maternal diet and Bf and the basically non existent relations, you get the. "We'll people can write anything on the Internet/in a book."

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

CaliforniaDream87 said:
"Oh just put rice in his formula. You'll get plenty of sleep then" BLANK STARE.

My baby is only 3 weeks old. WTF.

Yep heard this too. Also, one of my ILs brought over some homemade butter and told me to give it to Dd to help with her digestion...

She doesn't even have digestive issues.

Yeah, not giving food until 6 mos, thanks though.

cinderin · September 2013

MrsWahidi said:

petey1106 said:
Whenever LO cries my aunt asks "oh honey, what did you eat to give him a tummy ache?" Excuse me, he's a baby. Not every cry means he has a tummy ache. And I eat pretty much the same things everyday. Shut up.
I'm still sick of hearing "oh just wait until..." I will roundhouse kick you in the face.
This! This is what I hate about BF, people attributing every cry to something I ate /me not having enough milk/ not letting her eat enough/ etc.

DD is a month old she's going to cry regardless. She is in charge of when she eats how often and how much, not me.

And when you try to explain new research on maternal diet and Bf and the basically non existent relations, you get the. "We'll people can write anything on the Internet/in a book."

So true. Those who bf understand and those who didn't, don't.

My mom bf so she gets it. Mil ff so she is clueless.

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

cinderin said:

MrsWahidi said:

petey1106 said:
Whenever LO cries my aunt asks "oh honey, what did you eat to give him a tummy ache?" Excuse me, he's a baby. Not every cry means he has a tummy ache. And I eat pretty much the same things everyday. Shut up.
I'm still sick of hearing "oh just wait until..." I will roundhouse kick you in the face.
This! This is what I hate about BF, people attributing every cry to something I ate /me not having enough milk/ not letting her eat enough/ etc.

DD is a month old she's going to cry regardless. She is in charge of when she eats how often and how much, not me.

And when you try to explain new research on maternal diet and Bf and the basically non existent relations, you get the. "We'll people can write anything on the Internet/in a book."

So true. Those who bf understand and those who didn't, don't.

My mom bf so she gets it. Mil ff so she is clueless.

Most of my ILs did BF (they're from Afghanistan so it's not like formula was readily available) they just believe hardcore in the OWTs, like no garlic, no caffeine, no spicy food, etc. I have eaten all and noticed no impact on my baby, but again to them this is a moot point. So frustrating.

TurtleMomma · September 2013

tanabeans said:

@TurtleMomma I just have to say I am Internet stalking you, whenever I see you have posted I specifically click to see what gem you have to offer. You never disappoint! Everyone says DD looks exactly like her dad and SIL is constantly comparing her to her kids, they are making me feel like an incubator

I enjoy knowing I'm not completely off my rocker in my ways of thinking about things.

And I struggled with the incubator concept, too. DH's family kept going on and on about how every feature came from their family, etc, never once mentioning my physical characteristics. I played the biological genetics card because his family knows squat about biology (I have a bachelors in it) and it always shuts them up.

Besides, I'm happy that part of my son's personal identity is uniquely his own, being neither myself or DH.

CaliforniaDream87 · September 2013

MrsWahidi said:

cinderin said:

MrsWahidi said:

petey1106 said:
Whenever LO cries my aunt asks "oh honey, what did you eat to give him a tummy ache?" Excuse me, he's a baby. Not every cry means he has a tummy ache. And I eat pretty much the same things everyday. Shut up.
I'm still sick of hearing "oh just wait until..." I will roundhouse kick you in the face.
This! This is what I hate about BF, people attributing every cry to something I ate /me not having enough milk/ not letting her eat enough/ etc.

DD is a month old she's going to cry regardless. She is in charge of when she eats how often and how much, not me.

And when you try to explain new research on maternal diet and Bf and the basically non existent relations, you get the. "We'll people can write anything on the Internet/in a book."

So true. Those who bf understand and those who didn't, don't.

My mom bf so she gets it. Mil ff so she is clueless.
Most of my ILs did BF (they're from Afghanistan so it's not like formula was readily available) they just believe hardcore in the OWTs, like no garlic, no caffeine, no spicy food, etc.

Yea, pretty sure I've heard comments like that from BF'ing moms. Some people just refuse to pick up a book or do any kind of research whatsoever.

rh10264706 · September 2013

My fil actually asked me how much weight I gained and how I was planning on losing it

janneann1127 · September 2013

MIL said to me, "You look tired today. No.. really, you look REALLY tired today."
Umm.. yeah it's been 10 months since I slept well.. (pregnancy + 4 week old).. thanks for the reminder?!
Also, when I put the RnP in our bedroom with the noise machine on and the fan going because LO could not settle (my toddler is like a human wrecking ball, it's no wonder he couldn't settle), she said to me, "You really need to get him used to the household noises, so he'll learn to sleep through them."
Yeah, wouldn't that be great? But if he's not sleeping BECAUSE of them, it's going to pretty hard for him to learn that skill, isn't it???

CaliforniaDream87 · September 2013

rh10264706 said:
My fil actually asked me how much weight I gained and how I was planning on losing it

@rh10264706 so awkward!

kwrecks · September 2013

I think the only thing that has bothered me so far is "have you tried swaddling her?" while she is wrapped up, swaddled. You apparently don't know what swaddling is, if you have to ask that question, so please don't think you're giving me advice.

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