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November 2013 Moms
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Baby shower vent

babymama619babymama619 member
in November 2013 Moms
Let me preface this by saying in grateful and all that. And I'd rather not be involved... however my mother keeps involving me!!!

My shower is on the 15th and she keeps bringing up the details, then asks my opinion. A lot if the details seems strange or downright stupid to me. I'm trying to keep my mouth shut but its hard!!! This morning she asked me to put music together and then use my phone for the music. 1. Why do we need music. 2. Seems like as guests are coming they might call me and my phone shouldn't be used.

Then she said her and her friend figured out games yesterday. I didn't ask about them. But then she went on to say there would be lots of them. I said maybe 2 or 3 is enough and she said "yea, but I don't want gift opening to be boring so well do like 3 then." keep in mind her friend will not be there and wants me to ask my friends (now!) to help her. She already has their contact info. Oh, and she hasn't been to a baby shower in more than 20 years and there will be people there she hasn't seen in 20 years. Why isn't conversation enough????

It just gets more ridiculous with every bit of info, like she's using real plates and glasses but plastic utensils and expects that my only sister will be washing plates for the whole party to make sure there are enough for dessert.

I'm really trying to stay out of these conversations but she keeps bringing them up and it's driving me nuts!!!!

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Re: Baby shower vent

  • fluttergirlmoonchild79fluttergirlmoonchild79 member
    Thank you for reminding me why I'm so glad I'm not having any showers this time around.  I think the only thing my mom asked me last time was "I was thinking of having it at ______, is that ok with you?"  Good lord.  Kudos for keeping your sanity.  I'd have lost it by now.

     

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  • DaysieDaysie member
    My mom has been doing the same thing to me! It's been driving me nuts. The only thing I said I wanted to be involved in was food, just to make sure she wouldn't get stuff I wouldn't eat. But she's been calling me about everything, and I think it's because MIL and SIL, who are supposed to be helping, haven't been much help to my mom. I really don't want to know the details of what she is putting together, because it's not what I would plan and I don't want to plan a party that she is throwing for me. I know I will love it and be grateful, even if it's NMS. and it's so hard, because no matter how many times I tell her, whatever you want to do, she keeps coming back to me....
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  • babymama619babymama619 member
    Thanks for letting me vent and not thinking I'm a crazy ungrateful person! It doesn't help that my mom is also in the throws of peri menopause and very quick to offend. @Daysie you've got it right, it's just NMS so I'd prefer just show up rather than be involved.

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  • mmm50mmm50 member
    Amen @babymama619!  My mom and MIL are doing the same stuff.  I told them that other than addresses for my handful of friends on the guest list and helping to pick out the cakes (we're having it at a place with amazing cheesecakes/specialty cakes so instead of the traditional cake we're having 3 or 4 round cakes) I think they have it under control.  But this weekend it was "what games should we play" and "do you like these plates."  I gave some input on the games (because my 21 year old sister thinks the bottle-chugging game contest is the best idea ever and I was trying to keep it to the 2 or 3 games people don't mind-- like baby shower bingo and maybe a celebrity baby name match or something).  Only 3 more weeks though!  
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  • bmqcmgbmqcmg member

    My shower for DD was put on by my mom and my ex's mom. It was miserable. The two of them wouldn't discuss anything and had to come to me for everything to tell the other person. I ended up feeling like I had planned the whole thing.

    This time around since LO is SOs first, his mom, sister, and grandma are having a shower for their side and they are doing everything and it is wonderful! His grandma made a comment to me about how good I have been through the process and I told her that I was just so happy that they are having one for LO and that they are taking care of everything without me.

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  • dobrydneydobrydney member
    My MIL and Dad are planning the shower--my Mom passed away in 2009 so my Dad is stepping in I think.  They keep doing the same thing to me, I just keep venting to DH when I get off the phone and remembering to be grateful!  Sometimes it's hard :-)
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  • JamieCallowJamieCallow member
    This is funny bc my Mom and sister are planning mine but they are driving me bonkers because they are not telling me a thing hahaha!! Now let me say I am extremely excited that they are planning this for me but I really want to know details because I am nosey:) And they know it gets to me too because they will purposefully talk about it when I am around and when I ask what they are talking about they just tell me it is none of my business;) Again, they have the same style as I do and I know it will be nice:) I am not concerned because I think it will be crap just simply I like to be in the loop about EVERYTHING;)
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  • Kfran84Kfran84 member
    I'm in the same boat, grateful but glad I only have to go through this once. When my hostesses ask me questions I just want to plug my ears and go "la la la la la!!"




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  • skleylaskleyla member
    Same boat here for the out of town shower. I get calls on everything and wound up doing venue tours, food searches, and going shopping with them for shower stuff. Somehow I managed to be planning my own shower :/ I think it has a lot to do with where my hostesses lives are at at this point. Both are single, no kids, and never hosted a baby shower, so while a bit tiring, I understand why they like the support and I really appreciate everything they have been doing.
    My in-town shower, on the other hand, is being hosted by a mother who has hosted other showers (she also planned my bridal shower) and all she has asked is if I can get addresses and then tells me what she has decided to do. I am super excited about in town shower, but at this point OOT has become work for me.
    When all said and done, I am so thankful that these women are and will be in me and my son's life.


    samk
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